Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma ½, I just hero worship it and Rumiko
Takahashi, of course.
Chapter One
I was down to my last applicant and my last nerve by the time ten-o-clock rolled around. I had spent the day fending off the numerous weirdoes, wackos and just plain crazy idiots who had heard I needed a secretary. Some, like Kuno who had shown up seven, count 'em seven times, six and a- half to 'court' me as he so amply put it, were old and well known 'acquaintances'. Others, like a baby-faced kid who insisted he was nineteen, and what's more the head of some 'Tendo Akane Fan Club', I had never seen before in my life. I was wondering how much Nabiki would ask for if I took her up on her offer to hook me up with one of her. 'associates' when I heard a loud pounding which turned to a soft knock after a moment on my office door. I sighed, cringing as I imagined what kind of imbecilic guy ('cause only a man would be stupid enough to come to a detective agency at ten at night. Well, either that or a customer) would be waiting out there. I grabbed the handle, braced myself and threw open the door to face. a girl. I stared at her in disbelief for a second, than, realizing how rude I was being, ushered her in. As I sat down, I studied my guest. She was about my age, a few inches shorter and long hair, the reddest colour I had seen in years, pulled back in a double-end-tied ponytail. She seated herself across from me and grinned confidently at me, as if she was sure she already had the job. I smirked back and leaned forward. "So, what's your name?"
She seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, than quickly snapped back to life. "I'm.Ranko!"
'Hmm, that's original!' I ignored the tinge of sarcasm in my head and asked, "Now Ranko, you really are a girl? Not just some weirdo trying to get in here so you can grope me or something, right?" She gave me a weird look and laughed nervously.
"O-of course! Umm, maybe I outta go."
"Oh, I'm sorry! Don't go, I must sound like a complete lunatic it's just that the boys in this town aren't exactly the type to realize that a beating everyday does not mean I'm falling over myself to go out with them. You just never know what they'd do!"
"The persistent type? Those are the worse, especially stupid bokken waving, poetr- but you don't want to hear about me!"
I sat up straighter. "No, no I have the exactly same problem! There's this guy, Kuno who I've known for awhile now and that's exactly how he acts! I remember when I was a kid he got the whole male population of my school to challenge me all the time, and he hasn't gotten any better. I thought it might be him again when you knocked. I was so glad when I saw you weren't a guy! I swear, if I had to see one more man today. but why am I telling you this? I'm sorry, it- are you okay?" I stared down at the spot where Ranko was picking herself and her chair up.
"Uh yeah, yeah. You just surprised me, that's all." She looked extremely uncomfortable. I leaned forward on my desk and studied her.
"You know, you look vaguely familiar."
"Umm, really? Heh, I get that a lot! Guess I've just got one of those faces, right?!"
"Right." I still wasn't completely satisfied, but I didn't know what exactly was bugging me, so I started the interview. "So, how did you hear about this job?"
* * *
An hour and a half later, I had found my new secretary. Ranko had been found and raised by a team of hot spring appraisers. No one knew where her true origin was, nor what had happened to her parents, but that team had raised her very well, home schooling her, playing with her and even teaching her a little martial arts! Things were going well for her until one horrible day three years ago on her sixteenth birthday, the only family she had ever known began dropping like flies from the dreaded, yet little known 'Uneven Disease'. According to Ranko, the victim slowly shrinks on one side of the body, while the other remains the same. This eventually tears the victim in two. Having spent most of their money on wheelchairs and useless antidotes, by the time the last appraiser was gone, Ranko was broke. She went to many job interviews, but no one wanted a girl with such a shady past on their payroll. She was about to throw herself in the nearest river when she heard of this job and decided it was her one last shot. I shook my head in both pity and compressed ridiculousness. I knew I really should doubt her absurd story, but all I could think of was all this girl must have gone through in this plight. I stood up and grabbed her hand, shacking it. "I've heard enough, you'll do fine Welcome to A.T.N.T. Crime Agency."
"That's a real innovative name." Ranko said. She sounded oddly sarcastic, but I chalked that up to obvious social skills she must be lacking and pushed it out of my mind.
"Oh yeah, my sister thought of it. Said it would be better for our business, sponsor wise." I laughed to myself, remembering. something. I knew it had to do with Nabiki and someone else, a vague, foggy character in my memory; but I couldn't quite piece together all the information. It was a very uncomfortable feeling, like having all but the most important piece in a jig-saw puzzle. Sighing, I glanced at my watch and recoiled. "11:30! Oh no, P-Chan!"
An odd smirk played on Ranko's lips. "P-Chan?!?!" She sounded as if she was about to break into peals of laughter, but at the moment I didn't have time to question her.
"Yes, he's my pet piglet. I forgot to feed him this morning!" Actually, I hadn't forgotten so much as my attention had been swayed by a certain poetry sprouting numbskull. Normally I wouldn't be blaming Kuno for every little thing, but today had not been fun and he had started it off badly. I grabbed my keys and raced up the office stairs to my apartment with Ranko in tow.
"Do you mind if I see him? It's just that I love all animals so very much. In fact, at one time I had a pet piglet!"
I shrugged and let the girl in. We were both welcomed by sweet little "bwee" s. I picked him up and snuggled him. "Hi baby! Look, I brought someone to see you! This is Ranko." Turning towards her, I thought I saw a flash of a diabolic grin, but I could have been mistaken. Still, it reminded me of another cloudy memory. Shaking my head, I put on my best hostess face. "Would you like something to eat or drink? I just made cookies last night."
Ranko winced, than quickly (a little too quickly, if you asked me) replied, "Oh, I'm not hungry at. In fact, I'm rarely hungry! I ate three gallons of ice cream before I came here! I'm allergic to all baked goods!" Taking a deep breath, she raggedly said, "Just some water please."
I looked at her strangely, than shrugged and walked towards the kitchen. "Oh, you can play with P-Chan if you want! I'll be right back."
Author's Notes: Alright, there. I'm finally posting one of my Ranma ficcies. Oh, and Akane is acting so demure and. oddly because of plot purposes, not because I don't know her character. Ja ne!
Chapter One
I was down to my last applicant and my last nerve by the time ten-o-clock rolled around. I had spent the day fending off the numerous weirdoes, wackos and just plain crazy idiots who had heard I needed a secretary. Some, like Kuno who had shown up seven, count 'em seven times, six and a- half to 'court' me as he so amply put it, were old and well known 'acquaintances'. Others, like a baby-faced kid who insisted he was nineteen, and what's more the head of some 'Tendo Akane Fan Club', I had never seen before in my life. I was wondering how much Nabiki would ask for if I took her up on her offer to hook me up with one of her. 'associates' when I heard a loud pounding which turned to a soft knock after a moment on my office door. I sighed, cringing as I imagined what kind of imbecilic guy ('cause only a man would be stupid enough to come to a detective agency at ten at night. Well, either that or a customer) would be waiting out there. I grabbed the handle, braced myself and threw open the door to face. a girl. I stared at her in disbelief for a second, than, realizing how rude I was being, ushered her in. As I sat down, I studied my guest. She was about my age, a few inches shorter and long hair, the reddest colour I had seen in years, pulled back in a double-end-tied ponytail. She seated herself across from me and grinned confidently at me, as if she was sure she already had the job. I smirked back and leaned forward. "So, what's your name?"
She seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, than quickly snapped back to life. "I'm.Ranko!"
'Hmm, that's original!' I ignored the tinge of sarcasm in my head and asked, "Now Ranko, you really are a girl? Not just some weirdo trying to get in here so you can grope me or something, right?" She gave me a weird look and laughed nervously.
"O-of course! Umm, maybe I outta go."
"Oh, I'm sorry! Don't go, I must sound like a complete lunatic it's just that the boys in this town aren't exactly the type to realize that a beating everyday does not mean I'm falling over myself to go out with them. You just never know what they'd do!"
"The persistent type? Those are the worse, especially stupid bokken waving, poetr- but you don't want to hear about me!"
I sat up straighter. "No, no I have the exactly same problem! There's this guy, Kuno who I've known for awhile now and that's exactly how he acts! I remember when I was a kid he got the whole male population of my school to challenge me all the time, and he hasn't gotten any better. I thought it might be him again when you knocked. I was so glad when I saw you weren't a guy! I swear, if I had to see one more man today. but why am I telling you this? I'm sorry, it- are you okay?" I stared down at the spot where Ranko was picking herself and her chair up.
"Uh yeah, yeah. You just surprised me, that's all." She looked extremely uncomfortable. I leaned forward on my desk and studied her.
"You know, you look vaguely familiar."
"Umm, really? Heh, I get that a lot! Guess I've just got one of those faces, right?!"
"Right." I still wasn't completely satisfied, but I didn't know what exactly was bugging me, so I started the interview. "So, how did you hear about this job?"
* * *
An hour and a half later, I had found my new secretary. Ranko had been found and raised by a team of hot spring appraisers. No one knew where her true origin was, nor what had happened to her parents, but that team had raised her very well, home schooling her, playing with her and even teaching her a little martial arts! Things were going well for her until one horrible day three years ago on her sixteenth birthday, the only family she had ever known began dropping like flies from the dreaded, yet little known 'Uneven Disease'. According to Ranko, the victim slowly shrinks on one side of the body, while the other remains the same. This eventually tears the victim in two. Having spent most of their money on wheelchairs and useless antidotes, by the time the last appraiser was gone, Ranko was broke. She went to many job interviews, but no one wanted a girl with such a shady past on their payroll. She was about to throw herself in the nearest river when she heard of this job and decided it was her one last shot. I shook my head in both pity and compressed ridiculousness. I knew I really should doubt her absurd story, but all I could think of was all this girl must have gone through in this plight. I stood up and grabbed her hand, shacking it. "I've heard enough, you'll do fine Welcome to A.T.N.T. Crime Agency."
"That's a real innovative name." Ranko said. She sounded oddly sarcastic, but I chalked that up to obvious social skills she must be lacking and pushed it out of my mind.
"Oh yeah, my sister thought of it. Said it would be better for our business, sponsor wise." I laughed to myself, remembering. something. I knew it had to do with Nabiki and someone else, a vague, foggy character in my memory; but I couldn't quite piece together all the information. It was a very uncomfortable feeling, like having all but the most important piece in a jig-saw puzzle. Sighing, I glanced at my watch and recoiled. "11:30! Oh no, P-Chan!"
An odd smirk played on Ranko's lips. "P-Chan?!?!" She sounded as if she was about to break into peals of laughter, but at the moment I didn't have time to question her.
"Yes, he's my pet piglet. I forgot to feed him this morning!" Actually, I hadn't forgotten so much as my attention had been swayed by a certain poetry sprouting numbskull. Normally I wouldn't be blaming Kuno for every little thing, but today had not been fun and he had started it off badly. I grabbed my keys and raced up the office stairs to my apartment with Ranko in tow.
"Do you mind if I see him? It's just that I love all animals so very much. In fact, at one time I had a pet piglet!"
I shrugged and let the girl in. We were both welcomed by sweet little "bwee" s. I picked him up and snuggled him. "Hi baby! Look, I brought someone to see you! This is Ranko." Turning towards her, I thought I saw a flash of a diabolic grin, but I could have been mistaken. Still, it reminded me of another cloudy memory. Shaking my head, I put on my best hostess face. "Would you like something to eat or drink? I just made cookies last night."
Ranko winced, than quickly (a little too quickly, if you asked me) replied, "Oh, I'm not hungry at. In fact, I'm rarely hungry! I ate three gallons of ice cream before I came here! I'm allergic to all baked goods!" Taking a deep breath, she raggedly said, "Just some water please."
I looked at her strangely, than shrugged and walked towards the kitchen. "Oh, you can play with P-Chan if you want! I'll be right back."
Author's Notes: Alright, there. I'm finally posting one of my Ranma ficcies. Oh, and Akane is acting so demure and. oddly because of plot purposes, not because I don't know her character. Ja ne!