Different

Disclaimer: I don't own Magic Knight Rayearth, or any of its characters. Nor do I own Citizen Kane or Shogun, both of which I made references to.

Author's Note: I thought while reading MKR that Fuu was…not all as she appeared. She seemed to me to think things through sometimes, and I think that she has opinions and emotions that she keeps to herself. So, though she may seem a little OC in this story, I'm trying to show how deep her character really is, and what's really going on behind that serious, calm, calculating face. Don't worry, this story does have a plot (actually, several plot lines)! It's not just a 'knights go back to Cephiro meet their guys' fict, though I must admit, there will be some mush in this story. Okay, more then some. Quite a lot, actually. But there will be a lot of action too. I mean they are called the Knights of Cephirofor a reason, right? Battle scenes coming up! This is NOT an Alternate Universe fict.

Prologue

"I've always been different."

"Eew! Get away from me! You're infested!"

Infested with what? That makes no sense. Thought a nine-year-old Fuu, tucking shoulder length auburn hair out of her face, trying not to show that her classmate had hurt her feelings.

All of the school was outside, relaxing and playing in the hot summer sun. It was the last day of school, and the teachers, lacking any lesson plans, allowed their classes to play amongst themselves. Fuu had been playing with all the other fourth graders, until one of the girls had decided to insult her.

She walked up to one of her friends. 'Miche' was her nickname, and she had long, curly, dark brown hair. "Miche, what is she talki-" Fuu began, only to be cut off with a screech from her friend.

"You're infested! Go away!!!" After running a meter or so away, Miche started laughing.

Fuu looked around her. Every single person in her grade was slowly backing away from her, grins on their faces. In a single moment, everyone had turned against her, even her best friends.

Biting her lip to stop unwanted tears, Fuu stepped forward a couple of paces, towards a group of kids, who immediately screamed and ran away from her, laughing. Laughing at her. Jeering voices calling out mean names. Childish insults.

Every name called, every scream screeched pierced Fuu like a barb. She was alone, abandoned by her own friends, being made fun of by so many people…

Salty tears streaked down her cheeks, though she tried to stop them as best she could. She was an outcast. She was different.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, BEEP, BEEP,BEEP…

Fuu tore herself away from her nightmare. Automatically, her hand reached out from under the cotton covers to hit the off switch on her alarm clock, even as she stared groggily at the ceiling. Forcing herself to sit up while subduing her mental pleas for more sleep, she looked out the open window, smiling as a breeze brushed her face.

Odd. She thought to herself. I can't remember some things that happened to me last year, and that, she shuddered, nightmare is still as clear as crystal.

It happened to me five years ago.

Chapter One- In My Heart

"I'm going up to my grandparents for a week. I'm probably going to visit my great-grandmother."

It was a warm summer's day. A light wind rustled the leaves on the trees, and made the long, soft grass that the two girls were lying on wave, to all appearances looking like a sea of green.

It had been four months since Umi, Fuu, and Hikaru had come back from their second trip to Cephiro. They were each devastated to leave, and it hung over them that they might never be able to return, but Fuu was probably the hardest hit. She tried to hide it, but it was obvious that she missed Ferio.

Fuu fought to keep her tone light and her face blank, but Hikaru still looked over at her, worried. A couple of months ago, Fuu had confessed to her that her great grandmother was barely eating and was looking extremely thin, but that she hadn't worried about her too much, until she had heard her parents fighting over whether her mother should be allowed to go visit her parents. Her mother had finally yelled that her grandmother was dying, and she had to visit her while she had the chance. It had hit Fuu really hard, and she had ended up crying the next day at school, unable to hide her tears. Hikaru was upset too, because her dog Hikari was going in for an operation, and she was scared that something would happen to him.

Fuu shrugged off her glance. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

After a quick quarrel between Fuu and Kuu over who got which car seat, they were on their way. Kuu automatically went for a comic, and began to read, whereas Fuu cracked open the window to feel the breeze play across her features, and gaze out at the scenery whizzing by.

The breeze had always calmed her, ever since she was a little girl. She had always loved having the fan turned on and blowing on her as she drifted off to sleep.

The trip was three hours long, and the whole time Fuu was staring out the window, her mind wandered. However she tried to keep her mind away from it, she always came back to the same thought, like a magnet. I want to go back to Cephiro.

"We're there!" Kuu finally called out from the back of the car, leaning a little closer to her window to get a good look at the bungalow, with the large antenna sticking out. "Finally!"

Fuu agreed fervently inside, though she didn't say anything. A long time ago, she had been a chatterbox; always saying whatever came into her head. Many things had happened to change that. Now she was more subdued, and kept a lot of comments to herself.

Grabbing her heavy bag of luggage, she dragged it across the driveway to the house, the blue canvas making a scraping noise as it rubbed against the tar.

"You're going to wreck the bag like that. Pick it up." Mrs. Houji scolded irritably. She had not reacted well to the tedious trip. Fuu shrugged, as she was already at the door. "I'm sorry."

Mrs. Houji sighed. "Never mind, then. Just take it in."

Fuu opened the door, and kept it open awkwardly with her shoulder as she lugged the huge bag inside.

"We're here!" She called out. Her grandmother's voice replied from the kitchen. "Hello! You're late!"

"There was a traffic jam on the highway. We got here as soon as we could." Fuu's mother said as she entered the house right behind her daughter. "Fuu! For goodness sake! Move!"

Internally sighing, Fuu obeyed. She hefted her bag and dragged down the hall, through the oak doorway and into the living room, where she always slept at her grandparents. The walls were green with beautiful patterns, the designs soft with some kind of velvet. An antique looking oak chair stood in the corner, its dull yellow cushion fluffy. A cabinet filled with glass clocks and figurines was on the other side of the room, various pendulums swinging inside the crystal and wood doors. Near the long, green velvet couch was a redwood table, on which lay a lacy coverlet. To complete the picture, a keyboard was placed on the last wall, light spilling onto its black and white keys through the huge windows overlooking the street.

Fuu sat down on the couch, leaning against its plushy cushions. I love this room. She thought to herself, closing her eyes for a moment. It was so calm and peaceful here. The windows were open, so the warm summer wind caressed her face. She stayed perfectly still, enjoying the moment. Opening her eyes, she pulled her pack towards her, and began unloading books.

"How much do you plan on reading?" Fuu's head came up from her task when she heard her grandfather's rough voice. He was standing in the doorway, a toothpick in his mouth.

Fuu followed her grandfather's gaze to the pile of books on the table. She was staying for five days, and had brought eight books, each about 800 to 900 words long. She grinned. "Oh, not very much, I should think."

"Hurrmph." was her grandfather's only reply.

"After all, I won't have enough time, since I'll be beating you at cards." Fuu added mischievously, pursing her lips as in mock thought.

The 'hurrmph' this time was far more pronounced, but the man also chuckled. "Mind you get your nose out of a book once and a while, teacher's suck." He said, his deep voice rumbling.

"At least I do well in school." Fuu replied primly, grinning inwardly. The game of insults had begun! Every time that her grandfather and her met, they would exchange witty insults at intervals during the whole visit, trying to out best each other. The way to win was to make it so that the other person couldn't retort. They had never actually spoken about any rules, or even acknowledged there was a game. Everything was already understood. As far back as the auburn haired girl could remember, her grandpa had teased her, and had been taught by him and her grandma to tease back. It was a game that her grandparents played with each other often.

A smile twitched at the man's face. "Supper's almost ready. The old fart finally got around to making it." He motioned at the kitchen. It was obvious that he was referring to Fuu's grandmother.

Fuu came to her grandma's defense. "What does that make you? How many years older then her are you again?"

Her grandfather left the room with a grunt. The smile on Fuu's face faded as she wondered why she could never act like this at school, or around people who were not her family. Everywhere else she was polite, respectful, and seemed to never be able to think of the right things to say. So she kept quiet. Her friends described her as serious, and overly polite.

Why can't I be more outgoing with people? I know that the serious side of my character is a major part of me, but I have a fun loving side too, even though it may be a little restricted. Why can't it ever get out? It does sometimes…around Umi and Hikaru…but I never really feel like 100 me. Except around…

Ferio.

A picture of Ferio swam into her mind, grinning at her as he had whenever he saw her. His green hair blowing slightly in the wind, his tawny eyes staring into her own…

I wish I could stop thinking about him. It makes me sound…obsessive, to say the least. But for some reason, he just cannot stay out of my thoughts. He is always in the back of my mind. His smile, his laugh, his forgiveness…forgiveness for my part with the death of his sister Emeraude…

Memories of the Princess of Cephiro's death surfaced, and Fuu winced, putting her face in her hands. I had thought I had gotten over it. But it was like murder! I guess you can never really get over something like that .I…I just didn't know what to do!!! The former Wind Knight's thoughts suddenly became jumbled and nonsensical. Ferio, it's not my fault…it was fate…I could have prevented it…HOW COME CLEF DIDN'T WARN US…I'm sorry Emeraude…IT'S ALL MY FAULT…Ferio, forgive me…!

"Fuu! Supper!"

The girl jolted up, and shook her head to clear it. "Coming!!!" She replied, raising her voice to hide the slight tremor.

"Now!"

"I said I'm coming, Mother!" Fuu repeated, annoyance seeping into her voice.

"Now!"

"I'm COMING!"

Fuu gritted her teeth, and slowly counted to ten in her head. When she had finished, she stood up, and exited the Green Room, heading to the kitchen.

She pulled back one of the wooden seats, and sat on its white and gray cushion. Kuu passed her the potatoes. "What took you so long?" she questioned her younger sister, looking curious.

"I was reading." Fuu lied, looking away from her sister's scrutinizing gaze that seemed to pierce right through her.

She waited for what seemed like forever, wondering if her sister would catch the falsehood. She crossed her fingers in her lap. Please, please let her believe it! For some reason…I don't want anybody to know what I think, and if I told Kuu I was sitting there thinking, she would surely question what about…

There was a moment of silence, and then Kuu burst out laughing. "My sister the bookworm! I should have known!"

Fuu smiled, and began to eat. She let the conversations of her grandparents, parents, and older sister wash over her as she fumed inside her own mind.

Why is it Kuu's business anyway what I do?!? It's not like she's my mother! She doesn't have to know every single little thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is her PROBLEM!?!?!?! She is so NOSY!!!!!!!!

Calm down, Fuu. She was only being Kuu after all. She was just a little curious as to what I was doing, that's all. Stay calm. I promised myself. No more firecracker explosions, unless absolutely necessary.

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

"Fuu has, I think. Haven't you, Fuu?"

Fuu jolted slightly, yanking herself back to reality. "Pardon?" she questioned, wondering who had spoken.

Her mother looked at her, her eyebrows raised. "Haven't you read Shogun by James Clavell?"

"Oh, yes!" Fuu nodded somewhat energetically. She dove into an explanation of the plot.

"Fuu. Fuu. Wake up. Your Mom and Kuu are going to see your great grandmother now. You're going, right?"

Fuu's eyes opened blearily, and the face of her father swam into view. "Right, Dad. Just let me get dressed." She mumbled groggily, struggling out form under the sheets and reaching for her glasses with one hand, and rubbing her somewhat gummy eyes with the other. She slid the brown-framed spectacles on just as her father left the room.

Groaning, Fuu put on a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. Dragging herself to the bathroom, she took off her glasses, and put on her contacts.

It had been a battle with her mother for those contacts, Fuu reflected as she slid one of the thin rubbery disks under her eyelid. She had raised the case that she would need them for martial arts, since in Naginata (a martial art that trains people how to use a six-foot staff topped with an eight-inch blade. In practice, the 'blade' is made of bamboo,) the head armor that is worn cannot be put on over glasses. Her father had taken her side, and her mother had finally given in.

But there was another reason she had wanted them.

"I thought you were a little shifty at first…but now I can see you're kind of a babe!"

The memory was so clear. Back in Cephiro, the first time Ferio had ever complimented her was when he had seen her without her glasses.

Fuu looked at herself in the mirror, staring into the eyes her own reflection, now without the somewhat cumbersome glasses. She had let her hair grow out a little at the behest of Umi and Hikaru. Both had said her hair would look much better long. It was partway down to her shoulders now, and she sometimes put it up.

Would he say that now?

Fuu's face contorted, and tears filled her eyes, sending her reflection and everything else into a blurred prism of colour.

I can't cry. But I miss him so much! It's terrible. Sometimes I wonder…if Cephiro really exists, or if it is a figment of my imagination. Oh, please let it be real. Let him be real.

Memories came back to her, as did certainty.

Of course it's real.

It had been like this ever since they had left. When they all arrived back on Earth, they had a firm grasp on the knowledge that Cephiro existed. But now…it seemed as though everything was slowly slipping away. One minute, herself and the other two would be talking about their Mashins, or their regrets over Emeraude, and the next, one of them would look at the other two, and ask in an embarrassed sort of voice, "You do realize we're probably a little old for this 'let's pretend', right?"

If it goes on like this much longer, I'll forget completely. So will Umi and Hikaru.

We have to go back.

"Fuu! C'mon, hurry up!" Kuu's voice shouted from the stairwell, echoing though the hall.

Fuu took a deep breath, opened the bathroom door, and walked out.

"Coming!"

The blue van was rather stuffy, and Fuu, sitting at the back with her sister, got almost no ventilation.

Don't complain. The car ride's only another fifteen minutes. She scolded herself.

When they arrived at the Nursing Home it was a great relief to get out of the van. Fuu took in a deep breath of fresh air, and grinned at Kuu as her older sister did the same. Kuu rolled her eyes, and Fuu giggled.

They approached the building. Fuu looked around, her eyes wide. This was the first time she had seen this nursing home, since her great-grandmother had been transferred at her request since she had last seen her.

The place was HUGE.

Fuu marveled as they approached the white brick building. It was of elegant construction, with large windows and redwood doors, and it was at least four stories tall. There was a gazebo on the emerald green lawn, along with cement pathways and colourful gardens.

They entered the building. It was just as beautiful on the inside as it was on the exterior. Fuu's grandmother led the way to the steel elevator, and pressed a button. The doors shot open, and the family stepped inside.

Fuu bit her lip. I hope great- grandma's all right. She looked so frail when I last saw her, but that was because she wasn't eating. Maybe she's recovered a little…

She knew it was a lie, but she told herself it anyway. It offered her a little comfort, at least. And besides, it might be true.

Her nails dug into her palms as she worried, but Fuu desperately tried to keep her worry off of her face. There was no sense in letting the others know she was afraid. Kuu would roll her eyes, Mother would tell her there was nothing wrong, and her grandmother would go all sappy and try to tell her it would all work out and how all people eventually pass on…

She didn't need that right now.

The elevator doors slid open, and the family stepped out, making way for the old man in a wheelchair and what looked like his daughter wheeling him into the elevator. Kuu nodded slightly to them in passing, Fuu's mother and grandmother were engrossed in some conversation concerning baking, and so completely ignored them, but Fuu stopped and murmured "Good morning."

The woman and the old man smiled in reply. Fuu nodded, and ran to catch up to her sister.

Her grandmother stopped at a door that looked exactly the same as all the others (white with a brass handle) except for the number. Room 608.

"This room is hers." Her grandmother announced quietly, and opened the door. They were never locked. "Mother?" She asked loudly. "Me and Sakura are here, and we've brought Fuu and Kuu."

"Hello." The voice, so shaky and trebling, came from beside the bed. Fuu looked, and fought not to let out a strangled sob.

It was worse then she had imagined.

Her great-grandmother's hair, once curled, combed, and well taken care of was now wispy, straggly locks, looking rather as though a strong wind had hit her full in the face and had left her hair sticking out in the back. It was obvious that either her great-grandmother didn't much care about it anymore, or just didn't have the strength to maintain it.

The last time Fuu had seen her, her skin had been a bit loose, and she could see some veins up her arms and on her face, but now her skin was almost transparent, and purple and blue veins were visible everywhere on the pallid woman's body. Her skin fit her loose and baggily, like a pair of clothes that's two sizes to big. Her once bright blue eyes were now gummy and slightly opaque. The gaze that was once so sharp and full of emotion now seemed drained of its soul. Her hands trebled violently as she struggled to turn the wheelchair that she was seated in towards her guests.

"Mom, do you want us to take you outside?" Fuu's grandmother said loudly, since her mother's hearing was bad.

"It's…nice to see…you all." It was apparent in the old woman's creaking, gravely tone that it took her a lot of effort to speak. Each word had more syllables then it should.

"Mother, do you want to go outside?" Her daughter repeated, slowly and patiently.

"Okay," was the eventual reply.

"Fuu, honey, take her wheelchair."

Fuu hesitantly stepped in behind the seat and took the handles. Her grandmother held open the door as she wheeled her oldest living relative into the hallway, and to the elevator.

She's dying.

They were sitting on one of the benches on the vast lawn. Each woman was informing great-grandmother about their lives and their activities. The great- grandmother herself was listening with a small smile on her lips. She was defiantly pleased to have company. However, at times, she just seemed to look into the distance, unseeing, and thinking about something else, or maybe just turning over things in her head. Fuu knew that the death of her husband four years ago had affected her greatly, but it seemed as though…she was giving up. Letting things take their course. That she thought there was no reason to go on. Right now, is she thinking of him?

"Well Mom, you look tired. Do you want us to take you back inside so you could rest?"

The old woman nodded slowly.

Mrs. Houji nodded at Kuu. "Take your great grandmother, Kuu."

Fuu shook her head. "It's all right. I'll do it."

She took her position at the back of the wheelchair and pushed the contraption up to the door.

I would hate it. Not only to be unable to use my legs, but have someone push me around like a baby, not having any control whatsoever as to where I was going. To be fully incapable.

Kuu helped her great-grandmother into her bed, and gave her a hug. "Goodbye! We'll try to come again at Christmas!"

The old woman returned the hug, shakily resting her frail, bony arms on the teenager's back. "Okay." She replied.

Fuu stepped forward to embrace the bedridden woman. This might be the last time I ever see her. A lump rose in her throat. "Goodbye, Grandma. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie."

After the rest of the farewells were exchanged, the family left the building, and piled into the van. Fuu silently strapped herself in the back while her family chatted away about how nice it was to see Grandma again. Fuu forced her face not to show her sadness, and it became her 'thinking face', somewhat serious and calm. The whole fourty minute car ride, only one thing was pounding into her head. The stuffiness of the car forgotten, only two words ran themselves over in her mind.

She's dying. She's dying. She's dying. She's dying.

When they arrived at her grandparents' house, Kuu, Mrs. Houji and their Grandmother headed downstairs to where their Grandfather, Mr. Houji and their uncle were beginning to watch a rather long movie, planning to join them. Fuu excused herself to the Green Room, saying that she'd rather finish her book then watch a man try to discover what a millionare's last words meant in an old-fashioned black and white movie. Kuu's voice echoed up the stairs. "Rosebud! Rosebud! Honestly! You'd think that they'd think up a better name for a sled then Rosebud, don't you think?"

"Shush, Kuu! Your Uncle hasn't seen this movie yet!"

Fuu double checked to make sure everyone was downstairs, flopped on the emerald couch stomach down and began to sob quietly, making sure her noise was quiet so that no one would hear and come see what was the matter. Tears streaked silently down her cheeks as she buried her face in the white pillow, trying to muffle the now uncontrollable noise. It felt like her heart hurt. She's going to be gone. Will there even be a Christmas to see her again? Was that the last time? She lost any control over her emotions, and allowed the sorrow to take over. Her violent sobs shook her body.

She cried for a little while longer, finally letting out all her pain and sorrow that she had been bottling up inside out, after hiding it from everyone. Finally, she pushed herself up, rubbed her eyes with her hands, and went to go wash her face in the upstairs washroom.

When she was sure that there was no sign that she had been crying, she went downstairs to join the rest of her family in time to see the millionaire lose his second wife. Nobody noticed anything was wrong.

Finally it was time to leave. The ride back was just as droll as the ride there. Fuu huddled in one corner of the car, the window open to let the wind blow across her face and thought, and Kuu read through her Physiology book. Their parents squabbled over which roads to take. Everyone was glad when they finally arrived home.

Fuu dumped her bag in her room and promptly checked her e-mail. Her older sister was more drawn to the TV, Fuu felt more comfortable with computers.

While she sorted through the junk and the real letters, Fuu's mind reeled. Maybe I should begin to write in a diary. Just to keep my thoughts on track.

It's not fair! My life was fine, I was confident, and suddenly it feels like I'm playing a board game where half the pieces are missing! I think I'm getting along with someone, only to hear that they're talking about me behind my back! I can't tell where I stand with people from day to day. I need to get this under control.

I need to go back to Cephiro.

With that thought in mind, Fuu plucked the phone by the computer off the cradle and dialed a number. The phone rang a couple of times, and then a male voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Mr. Ryuuzaki? This is Fuu Houji. May I please speak to Umi?"

"Wait just a second."

Fuu waited patiently. "Umi! Get the phone!" Could be heard faintly through the receiver.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Umi? It's Fuu. Would you be able to go to Tokyo Tower anytime soon? I think we have to find a way back to Cephiro. As soon as possible."

Umi's voice seemed confused on the other side of the line. "Hey Fuu! You're back! But what are you talking about? Ce-fer-o? What's that?"

A slight wave of panic hit Fuu, but she forced herself to stay calm. "You know, Cephiro? With Master Mage Clef, Ferio…our Mashins. Remember? You're the Magic Knight of Water, I'm the Magic Knight of Wind, and Hikaru's the Magic Knight of Fire!"

"Is this another one of your fantasy books?"

"No! Look, I'm going to call Hikaru. Can you meet us at the park in ten minutes? We can talk about Cephiro there."

"Sure, that's fine. But…I have no idea what you're talking about. Who's Clef? I think you've been reading too much again. All your magic stories have warped your brain. Meet you there." Umi hung up.

Fuu stared at the phone, her eyes wide.

She doesn't remember.

Woohoo! That's the first chapter. I personally am not too pleased with it, but hey. First chapters are ALWAYS the hardest for me.

Not a major cliffie at the end, so please don't be mad.

It's a bit skippy I think, but I didn't want to write every detail of her whole trip.

Don't worrry, the next chapter will be better!

I'll update as soon as possible.

Jo-chan aka Fuu-chan