Disclaimer: Neither Glee or its Character belong to me. They belong to Fox and Ryan Murphy.
Lack of Courage
Chapter 1
Once again Blaine Anderson found himself sitting in his car now parked in the McKinley High School parking lot. He held in his hands his new schedule and his florescent-yellow highlighted map that displayed the easiest routes to his new classes in which he had picked up yesterday afternoon. It was his first day at McKinley and he didn't know what to expect. Even though he wouldn't admit it, deep inside him there hope. Hope that this high school experience would be better than the last. Hope that he would no longer have to spend his days in complete solitude. Hope to just be happy. Deep down he was hopeful, but he knew better than to acknowledge this sheer bit of hope. Having expectations led to being disappointed.
He'd always managed to be on his own, and would keep being desolate if McKinley called for it. He could manage.
After taking a deep breath, he stepped outside his car and finally made his way towards school grounds.
He paced across the parking lot and onto the building; no one seemed to notice the new kid.
As he stepped inside, he realized it was a near-exact replica of his old high school. Boys and girls huddled up alongside lockers, catching up on the newest gossip, laughing, joking, cliqued together in their own group of comfort. Then suddenly morning bell rang, and everyone dispersed into their designated classes leaving a very confused Blaine stranded as he attempted to decipher the map. He couldn't figure out where he stood in the map, so he just stood there and stared at the sheet in the very lonely hallway, well almost lonely.
Out on the near end of the hallway he could see 3 football lettermen jackets cornering one very frightened boy.
"I thought we'd agreed you'd start bringing money to school," said the big jock that stood in the middle of the trio.
"I'm on a strict diet. My nutritionist sh-she has me p-p-pack my lunch. I don't see wh-why I'd need to buy lunch here Azimio." The terror stricken boy looked down onto his shoes, visibly shaking. Blaine pitied the kid. He'd been in that situation so many times, he had lost count. He considered interfering, but there was no way he could take the three of them. He would be beaten senseless if he attempted. What a great way to start your fist day of school.
The equally fleshy jock tock the brown paper bag from his hands inspected it. "Looks like we're just going to have to deal with this garbage aren't we?" The small boy shook his head in agreement. Blaine felt guilty, how could he stand there and taunt and belittle the boy. Obviously if his nutritionist had consulted the boy, his lunch was vital to his health. He knew that if this kept going he would have to step in, but just as he made this decision to do so, the slender, tall jock stepped in and took the bag from the barbaric jock. He inspected its context and made a disgusted face.
"Dave, like you said, this is garbage, why would we want it?" He shoved it the back to the small boy, "Here, take it and run. Eat it. Come back tomorrow with triple lunch money."
"Nice thinking Hummel." Dave high fived 'Hummel' and turn towards the boy they had been frightening, "now you, scatter before I pound you."
Finally the boy took off running. Blaine took that as his queue to start walking as well because by no means was he looking forward to being their next victim.
After a few minutes of roaming the halls he found the class he was looking for. Looks like his morning had already been ruined, he hated the unnecessary attention walking into a class late would bring him.
"This is perfect," he thought to himself as he opened the door 'Physics-249'. As suspected, as soon as he walked in all eyes were on him. To make matters worst the teacher held a death glare.
"You're late." Blaine walked in closing the door.
"I know. I apologize… I'm new here and I was lost." Just as he said that the teacher the teacher's lips curled up into a smile.
"I'm messing with you, its okay walk inside. As your schedule should already inform you, I'm Mrs. Wayde." She stood from her desk and strode towards Blaine to shake his hand.
She looked like the epitome of a free spirit science teacher; hair in a messy bun, long floral skirt that went to her knees, red lip stick, laugh lines and wrinkles. If Blaine had to guess he would have said she was in her late fifties or so.
Blaine felt the classrooms stares were burning right through him as he awkwardly stood by Mrs. Wayde as she patted him in the back. "Alrighty Blaine Anderson, I'm gonna have you sit next to…. hhmmmmm… Artie! Artie, sweetie, raise your hand up so Blaine could know who you are." Just as she said that, a hand flew up, a hand that belong to a smiling kid in a wheelchair. Blaine simply nodded and made his way towards the back of the class.
Mrs. Williams sprung into discussion as soon as he took his seat. As she started her lecture on black and white shading, the kid next to him scooted closer to him. "Hey there," he extended his hand and Blaine took it, "Artie Abrams, nice to meet you Blaine."
A genuine grin spread across Blaine's face, "Nice to meet you Artie."
Just as he said that, the Asian kid that sat next to Artie extended his hand as well. "Mike Chang here."
"Hello Mike, Blaine Anderson."
Artie took that moment to take the schedule from Blaine's hands. "Let me see this… ahhh looks like we have a fellow AP student." He examined it thoroughly. "We have you for every class except two. We won't have French and Art with you cause that's when we have Spanish and Glee. But other than that you'll be covered. You can hang with us now if you like."
"Wow, uh…thanks you guys."
This was not something he was expecting, he was secretly wishing for it, but needless to say Blaine was happy he had already found friends. Friends. Something he's been deprived of for a very long time.
First class had been a success. It had passed by so quickly and he now found himself making his way towards second period with Mike and Artie just as he was stopped midway by a Latina-looking cheerleader.
"Look, let's not beat around the bush hot stuff. I'm Santana. As you may or may not know I have a reputation in this school and it's a reputation I'm willing to uphold. You. Me. Breadstix. Tonight at eight. Then later we can head to my place." Wow, way to be forward and direct.
"Sorry, but I'm going to have decline that offer." He made a step to retrieve himself but she stepped in front of him declining him any sort of movement.
"Is it because you already have a girlfriend? Because if it is I'm sure we can work our way around that." She said in a hush tone. Blaine thought about it. If he took her out he might be able to put up a straight front and be accepted which would stop the teasing and bullying being out and gay would bring. But after much consideration, he knew he respected himself a lot more than to live on a lie and hide behind a facade
"No actually, I'm gay." There it was. The truth. But as much as Blaine wanted to be socially accepted he had come to terms that it was better to be hated for what he was than to be loved for being something he wasn't.
Santana's eyebrows raised and she smirked as she walked away and muttered, "He's not gonna last her."
Blaine turned towards Mike and Artie, unsure about what their reaction to that might have been. They just shrugged, and patted him on the back as they made their way towards second period.
Well this is a new experience.
"We kind of belong to the bottom of this high school food chain. We're in glee club, so our best friends are a bunch of high school 'outcast.' We don't judge," explained Artie.
Blaine sighed a breath of relief; at least he wouldn't spend the rest of his day s as a recluse. "Glee club huh?"
"Yeah, we get a lot beef for being in it, but we really enjoy it," Mike opened the door their second class. "You should consider joining, it's really fun and heaven knows we need new members fore sectionals. You any good?"
He simply shrugged as he made his way towards his new Government teacher. Well today's going off a bit better than he thought it would be.
To say that the word spread out like a wild fire was an understatement. By the end of fourth period Blaine had been stared down by the majority of the student population like he had a tattoo on his forehead. At least then would they have had a valid excuse to give him those looks. He knew had done nothing to deserve this; he was just surrounded by narrow minded Lima, Ohio ignorant students. Unfortunately, this was nothing new in the life of Blaine Anderson, so it was familiar soil and something he learned to get used to. The only difference was that now he actually had 'friends' that seamed genuinely nice, so for now Blaine was happy.
As soon as that class ended Artie pulled right next to him as it was time for lunch.
"Hey Blaine, Mike and I are gonna grab a quick lunch then take it to Schue's class. I know this isn't exactly ideal for you, but would you like to join in any way?" The question seamed pretty rhetorical for Blaine. For the first time in what felt like forever Blaine wasn't going to eat lunch all alone, wasn't it bluntly obvious that and craved for the teenage interaction that Mike and Artie had so kindly supplied him with?
"Yeah sure, sounds about awesome actually," he trailed off in deep thought. "You know when you spend most of your time eating all alone in a corner of a school building; the bottom of the food chain is a big step up guys, a leap actually." Blaine grinned as Mike and Artie led the way.
"Glad we can be here for you man. You seam like a cool dude, you don't deserve to be a loaner," Mike fist bumped Blaine as Blaine awkwardly chuckled and responded. These guys were too nice and accepting for which Blaine was more than grateful for.
They proceeded their way towards the school cafeteria. There was the direct staring again. He had managed to ignore most of them, but couldn't help but acknowledge the death glares he was receiving from a particular table full of jocks. They were the same jocks that had second handedly terrorized him earlier that morning; Azimio, Dave, and Hummel as he recalled.
He stayed glued to Mike and Artie as they all quickly paid for the miserable excuse for lunch and headed back towards the hallways and onto Mr. Schue's Class.
"We're working on our week's assignment right now, which is why we choose to go, but to be honest; it's kind of like our safe haven, so we drop in more than what is necessary. Some other glee kids come in too during lunch, but not all of them, so you'll be able to meet a small handful of them," Artie trailed on.
The door room of room 428 revealed a small amount of teens inside, scattered around the room singing and dancing subtly amongst themselves. Mike took the initiative to introduce Blaine to Mr. Schue.
"Mr. Schue, I hope you don't mind but we brought along a non-gleek. He's new so Artie and I bought him under our wing. It's cool if Blaine stays right?"
"Yeah of course it is. We actually need-"
"Hey! It's new-gay-kid!" Blaine's head shot towards the other side towards a tan Mohawk fellow.
"Puck!" Mr. Schue sternly scolded back. In which Puck responded with a pout.
"Sorry, I won't call him gay kid then…." he contemplated and judged Blaine head to toe, "…hobbit it is!"
"Blaine" He corrected Puck.
Mr. Schuester exhaled a sigh of annoyance, "Sorry about that Blaine. He's work in progress, but as I was saying, we're in desperate need of a recruit, with sectionals coming along soon we're desperate for anyone. You don't even have to be good, or do much; we just need one more person to qualify. You should consider joining"
"Yeah, maybe. Artie bought it up a while ago and I've been thinking about it."
"Well if you make up your mind, you're more than welcome to drop by afterschool during today's rehearsals." Blaine simply nodded his head. It was something he had been contemplating occasionally but as of right now, he was indecisive.
Mike tugged him by the elbow and led him towards the side of the room where the girls sat.
"Sorry 'bout that. We've come to a point of desperation where he'll beg any person who comes within a hearing radius. Jacob Ben Israel seems to be the only exception for that though." Who?He stopped in front of the pack of girls as he proceeded.
"Blaine this is Rachael, " he pointed towards a brunette girl with a big smile and a thick knit sweater on, "This is Mercedes," he pointed towards the diva looking girl in the middle, "That's Quinn… and this is Tina, my beautiful girlfriend." He knelt down and gave the preppy-goth-Asian a quick, yet endearing, peck on the lips.
They all waved and smiled, but Rachael quickly got to her feet to give Blaine a proper introduction. "Rachael Berry here, lead vocalist of the group, and future Broadway extraordinaire. I'll have you know, even though you are being brutally judged for being gay, you won't be getting that from me. Both my dads are gay…" she went on and on about being raised to be a perfect performer since day one and the importance of putting a gold star after her signature and more self absorbed life stories for a handful of minutes.
Finally Mercedes stepped in, "Berry, leave the poor boy alone. He's had a rough day, the least he needs is to have you bore him to death by giving him an unnecessary autobiography." Bless her soul. Rachael turned and gave her a frustrated look, in which Blaine took the opportunity to mouth off a quick 'thank you' to Mercedes. She simply giggled in response.
"Ayo Blaine." From the other side of the room Artie yelled for Blaine gesturing to his side of the room.
He approached him, as well as this so called Puck and another girl who sat next to him.
"This is Lauren, and the newly acquainted Puck."
"Hi, I'm Blaine." he said as he shook Laurens hand as Puck stood up to put his arm around Blaine's shoulder.
"Look new kid, I was just messing with you earlier on. I'll stick to hobbit or new kid. No hard feelings right?"
"Right." Blaine nodded in agreement. Those nicknames weren't nearly as bad as the slurs that were thrown at him at a regular basis. "But its Blaine." He grinned.
"What ever hobbit." Puck grinned in returned.
He spent the rest of his lunch in there just watching, they tried their best to keep Blaine feel included by asking him a lot of question and telling him some of their glee club moments. The glee kids were actually really nice. He really didn't seam to understand why they were in the bottom of the social pyramid.
Unfortunately, soon enough lunch was over and he was making his way towards his following class in which neither Mike nor Artie shared with him. He was glad he had his last class with them though.
He made his way through Art quickly. Sure, no one attempted to make him feel welcomed, but he didn't fret about it. In his mind, he would rather be alone then have to be friends with ignorance. It wasn't until he got to his French class that he began to feel a bit of anguish. He entered the room and immediately recognizes the brunette sitting in the back left corner of the room. It was one of the three bullies, the same ones who terrorized that young man this morning, the same ones who glared at him with menacing disapproving eyes in the cafeteria. He had gone all day without bumping into any of them successfully but now thanks to his luck, he had a whole period with one of them. Just great!
Luckily for him, he was seated towards the front of the class, far enough from the kid. He and his friends had made it clear they were far from approving Blaine's sexuality and Blaine could only assume he was to be their next victim. He couldn't help but wonder if this would be the place of his first attack.
He felt the Hummel kid's stare burning holes right through him. He anticipated at least to be thrown a slur from Hummel, but that didn't happen.
"Kurt is there a problem?" Mrs. Petit questioned the kid from the back left of the room.
"No Mrs." He rolled his eyes and stared to the wall.
"In that case, eyes up front Mr. Hummel."
Kurt, an odd name that didn't suit a bully. Maybe a Steve would suite him better. A typical common name for a typical asinine student.
He made his way outside the class once the bell rand thought maybe that might have been Kurt's chance to attack. But nothing had happened. He came to the conclusion that Kurt Hummel was nothing but a phony bully who couldn't stand a chance without his meaty football friends as he made his way towards Calculus
He was just happy his day was coming to an end.
He found his way to the class and was greeted by an aggravated looking teacher. It was the last class of the day, he didn't blame her.
She allowed him to choose his seat, so naturally he chose the free seat next to the already seated Artie and Mike.
"Hey so whatya gonna do about glee club? I know I sound like Shuester but we really need just 1 more member to be able to qualify. You should really, really, really consider it. " Mike pleaded as the class came towards its final minutes.
"I don't know. It has crossed my mind through out the day, but I haven't given much thought to it. Your friends seam nice and all, but I don't know. Performing isn't something I'm used to."
"Just know that we can help you with that, and we would really appreciate it if you joined. And it's really fun." Artie finished. The bell rang and they stood and proceeded towards the door. "We're on our way right now for our afterschool rehearsal. Do you wanna tag along? No commitment, just see how it's like with the whole crew yeah?"
They stood in the hallway, Blaine thought about it, but his train of thought had been sidetracked by Kurt. Why would anyone want to have that when it's freezing cold outside? Kurt made his way towards them, with a rough, angry look on his face. Kurt did everything he could to avoid eye contact with him. His eyes darted from the floor, to the lockers, to the students, but averted verging upon his eyes.
A scared, "Oh no," slipped from Arties mouth.
Blaine was confused. But before he can try to even hypothesize what was happening he saw Kurt throwing the contents from the "Big Gulp" cup in Blaine's direction.
It hit him like a ton of bricks.
A very shocked Blaine stood dangerously still. He turned around to find Kurt walking away.
"Fags like you don't belong here!" Kurt walked towards the end of the hallway and high-fiving Karofsky. His face was still tousled with fury and rage while Karofsky's was full of joy and giddiness as they walked away together.
Blaine looked down. His white shirt was now covered in blue-slushie ice chunks and he was sticky, and he was angry and he was so fucking cold.
This must be how falling out of the Titanic feels like.
Authors Note: If your reading this, thank you for making it this far :) I really enjoyed writing this and I would like to continue if I get you're seal of approval. And I apologize for the mistakes found in here. I try my best to revise and edit considering I don't know how this Beta thing works. So feel free to tell me if I did anything wrong.
It also took me about a week to write it because first chapters are not my thing. Setting the plot is very frustrating for me so I kept putting it off out of sheer frustration. Also my transitions were horrible, so I apologize for that as well.
If your wondering how could Kurt possibly pass for a bully, well in my ff profile I've set up a link to the picture muse for this story, just he doesn't look as sweet and adorable as he does in the picture. Also I hope everyone enjoyed the Mike-Artie-Blaine friendship as much as I did.
Anyways, it would mean a lot if you guys let me know your opinion on a review or something. Worthy of being a multi-chapter?