Swapped
Author's Notes: I really don't know. Seriously. I think I may be going nuts. And there's about a gazillion plot holes, but since I'm going nuts, I think that's okay. Literally. I just threw it together, and blamed it all on Cupid, even though Cupid has to throw arrows to do this kind of stuff. It makes no sense, okay? Enjoy anyway.
X
When Echizen Ryoma slid out of bed, the first thing he noticed was that he was wearing the female school uniform. For a moment, he wondered if his father had pulled a prank on him. The thought of his father undressing him and shoving a frilly skirt up his legs made him shudder, and he stumbled off the bed in search of a mirror.
His feet looked weird too. Kind of delicate, with… - was that nail polish? He wiggled a cherry-painted toe.
And his hands. Were they always that soft? His eyes searched for the familiar tennis calluses but all he saw was pale white skin.
And his chest felt kind of heavy. He looked down, and turned an odd, uncomfortable shade of pink. He now had…breasts.
Okay. This was seriously getting weird.
Was this a dream?
He pinched himself, and winced. Okay, so it wasn't a dream. He started for the bathroom again, but stopped short when he saw Karupin blinking at him with a distrusting gaze, shrivelling into the back corner. "Hey, Karu," Ryoma began. He immediately stopped. The colour drained from his face. "Karu," he said again, slower.
His voice sounded like a girl.
Now extremely concerned about his well being, Ryoma sprinted down the hallway and into the bathroom before anyone in his family saw him. He slammed the door shut, and took in a deep breath. Dark hair flicked into his face – an odd shade of brown – and Ryoma switched on the lights.
He turned to the mirror…
And promptly gaped.
"What the…" Ryoma leaned forward, and stared at the image in front of him with impending doom. He had rounder cheeks and dark brown eyes, with long lashes. His hair flowed down beneath him in two braids the colour of chestnuts. His whole attire was pink and green, his lips were plusher, and he was…a hell lot cuter.
He was a girl.
Sakuno Ryuzaki, specifically.
Ryoma stared at himself – or herself – with wide eyes. "Holy fuck."
X
Sakuno Ryuzaki twisted her fingers around in her hands. She poked her head cautiously out of her bedroom door, and bit her lip. This was going to be a challenge. She had woken up this morning as Echizen Ryoma, nearly fainted out of shock, pinched her cheek (or maybe it was Ryoma's cheek) fifty times and then wondered if she was going mentally ill.
But now, she had to somehow get out of her house and to school without anyone in her family noticing that she wasn't Sakuno.
She tip toed down the hallway. She couldn't help but admire her – erm his – legs in his shorts. That was the weirder part. Maybe a body swap miracle thing had occurred, but she even had his clothes. A good thing, she supposed. If she'd come in his body wearing girly attire, he would probably never forgive her.
Still. Although she was pretty naive, she didn't believe in…
This kind of stuff.
Whatever this was.
Sakuno cringed as the floorboard creaked. Her grandmother's head shot up from the kitchen. "Sakuno, finally," she said, sternly. "You took a lot longer than usual. Hurry up or you'll…." Ryuuzaki sensei's eyes went wide, and she trailed off. "Echizen?" she said, blinking at Sakuno.
Sakuno's face turned a scarlet red.
Oh god. What had she done? She'd revealed herself.
Not knowing what to do, she raced down the stairs and headed for the doorway, marvelling in her suddenly coordinated movement.
"Echizen!" Ryuzaki barked, sounding enraged. "What were you doing up there with my granddaughter?! Come back here young man!"
Sakuno's face flushed harder. Oh no. Of course her grandmother would get the wrong idea.
She nearly tripped over herself to get out the door, before sprinting down the sidewalk. She couldn't even be awestruck at her sudden new athletic abilities because she was too busy moaning to herself about what her grandmother now suspected. She shuddered. To think, her grandmother would believe they were doing sneaky things up in her bedroom…
Sakuno slowed down her pace, and headed towards Seishoun Gakuen miserably.
Ryoma would definitely never forgive her for this.
X
Ryoma walked to school with his head in the clouds.
His stomach was like a big knotted shoelace and he fought not to throw up his breakfast. It had been quite the annoying morning, too. He'd tried to sneak out of the house as quick as he could, but of all people to spot him, it had had to be his father. Nanjiroh had taken one look at him and had started crying proud tears.
"Oh! My son has finally grown up!" he'd wept. "He's finally getting it on with women!"
Ryoma had just stared at him stupidly. "Dad-" he'd started.
"And you're such a pretty one too," Nanjiroh had chuckled to himself and then promptly raced upstairs to go congratulate his son for his new and improved sexual endeavors. Ryoma had grabbed an apple from the fridge and ran out before his father could question where he'd disappeared to.
"I'm a girl," he told himself dumbfoundedly as he walked. His stomach lurched, and he knew the apple wouldn't stay in him for the whole day.
He was Sakuno. Dammit!
Of all the people he had to turn into…
This was terrifying.
"Hey, Ryuzaki!"
Ryoma kept walking – still in his thoughts.
"Oi, Ryuzaki!" A bike snapped to a stop next to him, Momo holding onto the handlebars. He grinned at the boy – er, girl with a friendly smile. "Hey, I don't think you heard me the first time," he smiled goofily. "I just couldn't help but notice you were carrying Echizen's tennis bag. Did he lend it to you?" His eyes twinkled. "I knew it. I just knew there was something going on with you and Echizen."
Ryoma just stared at him grumpily. "What do you want, Momo-senpai?"
Momo looked taken aback. "Ah, I-" he rubbed his neck, eyes wide. "Wow. He's really rubbed off on you, eh?"
Ryoma glared.
Momo gulped at the sudden scowl on what he presumed was Sakuno's face. "I, er….I'll just leave now," he said hastily, kicking his bike back into gear. He sped past Ryoma, muttering under his breath, "That Echizen corrupted her," he mumbled. "Turned that sweet little girl into his smart ass clone."
Ryoma frowned, and watched Momo pedal away. He seriously needed to find Sakuno and figure things out.
Unless she was dead. He shuddered at the possibility. But he was in her body….
Maybe he had taken her soul.
Ryoma reached to pull down his cap, then realized it wasn't there. He grumbled to himself, and sped up his pace.
Girls were annoying. They pestered him. Only a rare few were respectable tennis players.
He didn't like most girls.
And now he was one of their kind.
As he mused to himself about the unfortunate plague of events, he couldn't help but be glad that of all girls, it was Sakuno whose body he had swapped with.
X
Several pairs of wide eyes stared at her.
Sakuno awkwardly fidgeted in front of Tezuka. She wished she had her bangs to cover part of her face, because she was certain she was turning a bright red. She was completely screwing up Ryoma's reputation and everything he stood for: she was acting anxious, blushing, stuttering, and trembling. Things Ryoma did not do.
Tezuka was just staring at her like she had grown two heads. "Ah…come again?"
"I – erm –" she bit her lip. "I forgot to bring my tennis uniform so….may I sit out?"
She should have just not come. But she didn't want Ryoma to get into trouble afterwards, so she thought she'd notify his captain. Pity she forgot how intimidating Tezuka Kunimitsu could look behind his slim glasses and dark, stern eyes.
Tezuka frowned. "This shouldn't happen again."
"Yes sir!" Sakuno squeaked.
The rest of the regulars who were gathered around the club room just blinked.
Kikumaru, in the middle of tugging his school uniform over his head, gaped. "Ochibi's sick!" he cried.
Fuji smiled amiably. "There must be something up with him. He conveniently forgot to wear his cap."
"And he stuttered!" Momo exclaimed. "Did you see that? That's not our Echizen, no it isn't."
Sakuno, for one, was too occupied by blushing furiously to take in their words. She hadn't realized until now what a crime she was committing – she was in the boys clubroom and had full view of male anatomy. Oh no – Kaidoh was taking off his pants…. Turning a fierce shade of red, Sakuno sped out of the room, leaving yells of, "Oi! What the heck Echizen?!" fading behind her.
Catching her breath, she found a tree and hit her head against the trunk. What was she doing? Ryoma was going to kill her. Wherever he was. She looked up tentatively and peered at the vast stretch of land in front of her school. She wondered if he was in his own body, or if this was like…a body swap.
What was happening?
Sakuno blinked back heavy tears. She refused to cry in Ryoma's body. She would be safely encased in her own structure before she started bawling over this ludicrous situation. Sakuno tugged at Ryoma's jersey, and closed her eyes. It was so weird. She ran her – his fingers over the tennis callouses over his hands. It was kind of nice to have such a close up feel of his body. But it was weird too.
And she wanted to return back to normal before she had to take a shower. She swallowed hard.
She would not stoop so low that she would see his body naked! She shivered. It may not be such a big deal to some, but she was a respectable twelve-year old girl. Or, well, boy – at the moment. Sakuno was literally in the middle of having a distraught panic attack when a voice brought her out of her thoughts.
"I see the cheeky brat is skipping practices," a flippant voice said.
Sakuno looked up, and her eyes widened.
Atobe Keigo smirked. "Echizen," he drawled. "Be awed by my presence."
Sakuno just blinked. She scrambled to think of something to say. What would Ryoma say in this situation? Um…er…. "Monkey King!" she blurted, then bit her tongue. She shifted her eyes to the ground. Oh! She was bad at this. She had to respect Ryoma for being able to be so cheeky and outspoken.
Atobe arched a brow. "Are you…okay?"
Think Ryoma, Sakuno told herself. She took a deep breath. She could do this. "Ano…made mada dane," she settled for. It was the safest route. Atobe just looked at her oddly, before snubbing his nose in the direction of the courts. "Tezuka is at practice, I presume?" he asked. "I would like to have a word with him about a Hyotei-Seigaku practice match."
"Um, yes," Sakuno nodded feverishly. "He's at, um, practice."
Atobe gave her an offhanded look. "Ore-sama shall continue on his journey," he finally said. He turned to leave, but stopped short, giving Sakuno a skeptical eye. "Feel….better brat," he finally grunted, before striding away. Sakuno stared at Atobe's back, and gulped. Feel better? She really was failing at this.
Sakuno turned around and banged her head against the tree trunk again.
Great.
Not only was she ruining his reputation, but she was injuring poor Ryoma's forehead too.
X
Ryoma sat stiffly in the English classroom, eyes on the clock. At least they both had first period English together. His eyes scoped back to the door. Dammit! Where was she? Wasn't she always promptly on time? He growled under his breath. If this was a body swap and she'd gone to tennis practice as him…he groaned at the thought.
He was doomed.
"Sakuno," the teacher said kindly, handing him a test paper. "Very well done."
Ryoma stared at the big fat A on the paper, and scrunched his nose. Now he was invading her personal business too. It had taken all his willpower to go through the day without musing over the fact that he had boobs. It was weird. Ryoma frowned at the test paper, before his eyes flew hurriedly to the door. C'mon Ryuzaki, his fingernails dug into his hands. How long are you going to take-
"Sakunoo!" a shrill voice crept up to his ear. Spaghetti arms flung around him. "Are you waiting for Ryoma-sama?!"
Ryoma grunted. Tomoka Osakada, his #1 fangirl was attacking him. Just lovely.
"Get off of me," Ryoma demanded.
Tomoko gasped, and pulled away. "Sakuno!" she whined. "Why are you being so mean?"
"Because I'm not Ryuzaki," Ryoma said irritably.
Tomoko giggled. "Sakuno, you're so funny." Her eyes fervently crept to the door. "Hmm, you're right though, Ryoma-sama isn't here yet." She slid into the seat next to him, and peered at Ryoma's empty desk suspiciously. "Maybe he was kept late from practice," she declared. Her eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh! By the way, I know you didn't approve of this, but I got Saiko to get into the boy's clubroom and take pictures!" she giggled deviously. "Look! There's ones of Ryoma-sama too."
Ryoma stared at the cell phone screen. There was him, in the club room, with nothing but his boxers on. He gaped at the screen.
"I know!" Tomoko bounced in her seat. "Isn't he the hottest person in the world?"
Ryoma continued to stare. It took every ounce of his willpower not to hurl the phone at Tomoka's head. Was this what girls did in their free time? And they complained about boys watching porn. Ryoma slumped in his chair, feeling oddly embarrassed. He was perfectly innocent in this whole situation. He could only hope that Sakuno didn't take part in these ridiculous activities.
Speaking of Sakuno…
Ryoma's eyes widened a fraction when he saw himself – er, Sakuno – dart into the classroom. It was the strangest thing ever to see his own body in full view. He felt an annoyed scowl form on his face when he noticed how breathless and flushed he looked. Hmph. He could only hope she hadn't bumped into any of the regulars. They would never let him live it down.
"Ryoma-sama!" Tomoka flounced over, rocking on the heels of her feet. "Where were you?! Where's your cap? You looked so kawaii today!"
Sakuno chewed on her lower lip nervously. "Ano…where's Ryom-" she stopped herself. "Sakuno…"
Tomoka's eyes went as wide as saucers. Her eyebrows waggled mischievously. "You want to see Sakuno, do you now." She giggled mischievously. "She's right over there Ryoma-sama," Tomoka pointed to Ryoma who was staring at her with an irritated look. Tomoka patted Sakuno's back sympathetically. "It's okay. She's in a bad mood, I think."
Sakuno bit her lip. Maybe she should go over and talk to him – er – her…ugh!
She started to walk over but before she could the teacher interrupted.
"Everyone take your seats," the teacher went to the front of the classroom. "Open up your books to page 67. Today we'll be studying…"
Sakuno sighed, and sat down in Ryoma's seat.
What was she going to do?
She didn't have a tree trunk to bang her head against, but the desk would do.
X
Her answer on what to do came two seconds later when Ryoma stood up abruptly, gave her a sidelong look, before clearing his throat. "I'm going to the bathroom," he announced, before calmly walking out of the classroom. Hushed whispers fluttered around them. Tomoka arched her brow, staring at Ryoma's back.
"Sakuno's acting so weird," she murmured to herself.
"Um…ano…me too!" Sakuno squeaked.
More whispers.
Tomoka's frown deepened. "And Ryoma-sama is being so timid," she said suspiciously as she watched Ryoma disappear out the door behind Sakuno. The teacher just gaped at the doorway, before stammering, "Okay class, let's continue with the lesson. Saiko, can you tell me what kind of verb…"
X
It was the most awkward experience ever. Seriously. Ryoma's life did not consist of many embarrassing or anxiety-filled moments, but this was definitely one of them. His throat felt too tight for his own good, and his palms - er, her palms - were sweating profusely. He stood stiffly outside the hallway with Sakuno Ryuzaki in front of him to discuss their body swap misfortunes.
"I...um..." Sakuno's face flushed - which meant his face flushed - and her cheeks blossomed red. "I'm not sure what happened, Ryoma-kun."
"Me neither," Ryoma said offhandedly. "But we need to do something about it."
"I know..." Sakuno's eyes flitted down the corridor. "But how? And English class..."
"Can wait," Ryoma grabbed her arm, squeezing it tightly. He didn't even care if it hurt a little - after all, it was his athletic arm he was squeezing, and he knew that much pressure wouldn't hurt him the slightest. "Let's go the library," he stated quietly, feeling out of composure in the girls uniform. Why were they so damn frilly anyway?
"The l-library?" Sakuno's eyes widened. "But that's skipping, and..." she bit her lip. "I'm not sure how that's going to help us."
Ryoma rolled his eyes. "I'm sure they have a book on body swaps. Maybe there's something useful in there." He started down the corridor, shaking his head and muttering, "Ch', didn't even think things like this existed..."
Sakuno watched his confident strides in her body. She would look so much more attractive if she was as confident as him, she realized. When Ryoma was in her body, he walked with style and grace, and it flowed through her body with energy. She stared down at Ryoma's body, and the nervous stuttering she displayed.
Damn. And she practically ruined his style.
Ryoma looked over his shoulder. "C'mon. Hurry up."
Sakuno squeaked, and hurried to catch up.
Screw confidence.
She just wanted to be a girl again.
X
Two hours later, and they were seated on the edges of their chairs, eyes pouring over a thick mythology book. It was too much to bear. They couldn't even look at each other as they read the tiny lettering written under the Body Swaps section. How much more embarrassing could the day get? It was like the world just wanted them to be...
Ryoma pushed his chair back. "This is ridiculous."
Sakuno shifted uncomfortably. "But it kind of makes sense."
"Not really."
"Okay. But maybe-"
"No."
"Ryoma-kun..."
"Damn it."
Sakuno watched as Ryoma stood up and paced deftly around the table they were seated at. If looks could kill, he could manage it. It looked especially strange on Sakuno's innocent face. "What the..." Ryoma rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand, scrunching his brow. This was...so embarrassing. What kind of stupid book...
"A body swap," Sakuno read again, timidly. "Is most prominently caused when two people are in denial of their attraction for too long. It gets to the point of hopelessness, and cupid takes action by doing a body swap, in hopes that they will understand how each other feels...to bring them closer...and as a punishment for their ignorance."
Ryoma gritted his teeth. "Let's find another book."
Sakuno's stomach churned. The thing was, she kind of did like Ryoma, and she was in denial. Her eyes snuck back up to Ryoma, who literally looked like he would throw a chair (which also looked quite funny on Sakuno's face). A fickle hope blossomed in her chest, warming the rest of her body. If this was true, did that mean Ryoma might like her...back? Secretly?
"These kind of things aren't supposed to exist," Ryoma stated, shaking his head. "Maybe this is a dream."
Sakuno bit her lip. "I know. It's too bad the only way to fix it is to..."
"Don't say it," Ryoma warned.
Her eyes dropped, but she managed to say, "Kiss."
The colour in Ryoma's face drained, and he cursed under his breath. Ridiculous, he thought to himself. He didn't even like girls. Sakuno was merely an aquantiance because she didn't blow out his eardrums like the rest of the female population. That did not mean...and what was stupid cupid doing anyway? He had NO business in his personal life.
All that mattered was tennis. Damn it! Couldn't Cupid have paired him up with tennis or something?
Something more simple?
Things with Sakuno were complicated.
"We could do it quickly," Sakuno offered.
Ryoma jerked his head up. "No," he said resolutely. "We can't. It's even weirder because it'll be like I'm kissing myself." He shook his head rapidly. "No. No."
Sakuno was beginning to realize Ryoma actually might seriously be in denial. It was kind of obvious. But she didn't dare say that outloud. She would let him pace for a good half an hour, until he realized it was either kiss her or stay like this forever. And surely he would realize that to play tennis properly he needed to be in his own body.
Not to mention she kind of - just a little - wanted to have the kiss... Sakuno flushed pink, and averted her eyes back to the tiles. What was she thinking?! Ryoma clearly didn't want to kiss her. In fact, he looked horrified at the thought. Of course, it was a little strange because they were in a body swap, but if it worked...
Wouldn't it be worth it?
"Ryoma..." Sakuno started.
Ryoma glared. "Fine!"
Sakuno just blinked. "Wha-"
"Fine," Ryoma growled. "We'll do the stupid kiss. Just to get our bodies back." And not because I want to. Not at all. All I care about is tennis.
Sakuno just stared at him, mouth half-open and eyes a fraction larger than usual. Ryoma stared back at her with a scowl, arms folded across his chest like a petulant preteen. "I don't want to," he declared to her. "But let's do it." Seriously. I don't want to. Okay, well, maybe a little. But I'm a boy. Surely that's normal. Doesn't mean I like her specifically...just the idea of kissing a girl.
No. That's weird.
Tennis, Ryoma. Remember. Tennis is what matters.
Sakuno just kind of sat there limply in the chair. "You're really...going to...do it?"
He blew out a heavy breath. "Yes."
"Really?" Sakuno's heart pumped. Sweat soaked up her palms. "Really?"
"Yes," he said annoyed.
Sakuno stood up, and felt the awkwardness exhilirate through her body. She suddenly realized what Ryoma meant about this being strange, since she was technically kissing herself...no, she shook her head abruptly. If this actually worked, maybe they would return to their bodies halfway through, and she would actually be able to experience kissing Echizen Ryo-
"Come here," Ryoma demanded.
"Okay..." Sakuno's approach was slow but steady. Nerves vibrated through her. "It's just, are you sure-" She didn't know why she was stalling. This was the only thing they could do. All the other books didn't really fit their situation, and this one actually sort of made sense. But the anxiety that raced through her was surely abnormal.
"I'm kind of nervous," she finally admitted.
Ryoma just grunted. "We'll do it quick."
"But-"
"Ryuzaki. You're the one who said we should do it."
"I know, but-"
Really? A but!? Ryoma was seriously going to bang his head against the bookshelf until he lost all his brain cells and dropped dead. It had taken all his courage to agree with Sakuno about the kissing thing, and now she was taking her opinion back. He watched as Sakuno's face flushed an abnormally deep shade of red as she bent her head down. "You're right," she finally whispered. "We should do it."
Man, this was awkward. He hoped Sakuno hadn't bumped into anyone else, because the anxious, timid look did not suit him. At this rate, all his fangirls would turn to Momo instead. Not that he cared about such things, of course.
He met Sakuno's gaze, and cleared his throat. It was time do it. The kiss. He needed to man up and just do it.
But he'd never kissed anyone before. What if he did it wrong and they were stuck like this forever?
Damn it. Couldn't they just hold hands to solve it?
"Ryoma-kun," Sakuno's voice quivered. "Um, so, are you going to do it, or am I? Because, er, I can do it, but I don't know, if you want to then that's fine to, and it's not really- "
He really couldn't stand her fumbling over her words with his mouth.
He couldn't.
And so, before she could finish her rambling, her pulled her close and pressed his lips against hers. It was quite possibly the strangest moment of his life - at first, he felt like he was kissing a boy, which really was quite weird, but then, suddenly, he felt the lips grow sweeter and softer. The cheeks cupped in his hands were smoother, and the eyes directly above were wider.
Okay, now, pull away, he told himself, because he was pretty sure he had his body back, which felt fantastic, but kissing Sakuno also felt fantastic and... Pull. Away. With much relucancy, Ryoma let go, watching as Sakuno stumbled backwards. His lips were warm and his body tingled. His body. He looked down.
He was a guy.
Sakuno's eyes were wide. "Um..." she flushed cherry pink, and Ryoma thought that the trippy-anxious look suited her just fine. She kind of just stood there, looking over at her own body and running her fingers over her slim hands. "Wow," she finally said, quietly. "I didn't think...I didn't think that would actually work."
Ryoma leaned back, and closed his eyes. "Weirdest experience of my life."
Sakuno couldn't say a thing. Weird was an understatement, but she was actually glad the whole thing happened. She picked up the thick book and put it back on the shelf, all while she radiated awkwardness. The fact was, being in his body had been an experience she was glad she'd had. She'd almost felt one with him, if that made sense.
And she also really liked the kiss. She peeked up at Ryoma, who was staring at the wall with a frown.
He clearly didn't.
"So..." she said sofly.
"Let's go back to class," Ryoma nodded briefly.
Sakuno sighed as Ryoma rigidly walked away. She wondered what Cupid's big idea was, anyway. The body swap and kiss was supposed to snap them out of their denial, but as far as she knew, Ryoma was still deep in the pit of intense denial. Or maybe he didn't really like her. Maybe Cupid messed up.
Ryoma looked over his shoulder. "Aren't you coming?"
Sakuno clasped her bottom lip between her teeth. "Um, yeah..." she began to follow him, wallowing in her unrequited crush. They walked silently down the hallway, the scraping of their shoes against the linoleulem tiles the only sound in the air. Ryoma didn't look at her, while Sakuno had her eyes glued to guage his expression.
He stopped at the entrance of the classroom, and for a moment, he looked like he was going to say something to her, but then shook his head and muttered something under his breath that sounded like, "Stupid," before heading into the classroom.
Sakuno trailed after him.
Their teacher just looked at them oddly. "All done?" he said, suspiciously.
Sakuno felt her cheeks warm, and bowed her head. "S-sorry sensei!"
Ryoma just scowled at him, and slumped into his rightful seat.
Tomoko's eyes flickered between them.
So they're back to normal.
Just as she thought that, Sakuno glanced at Ryoma for a moment, before blushing furiously and turning away. A second after that, Ryoma's eyes flickered up to Sakuno, and his face took on a wistful expression. The charade continued on for the rest of class, until the bell rang and the class was dismissed.
As they were leaving the room, Tomoka thought she overheard Ryoma saying to Sakuno, "Uh, you know, you should come and watch us at practice," kind of shyly, and kind of anxiously. "Uh, to cheer and stuff."
And Sakuno's face had gone red, and she'd nodded like a bobble head. "Okay!"
But Tomoka was sure she'd imagined all of that.
Clearly both of them were two dense and in denial to indulge in their surpressed feelings.
It would take something like Cupid to get them to take those first baby steps.
And things like Cupid didn't exist.
Obviously.
THE END