Disclaimer: i don't own the kingdom hearts characters. I don't own anything actually. Except the Frozen soundtrack.
Birthday one-shot for my amazingly fantastically attractively awesome editor and close friend, Daniel Jasper.
The prompt was 'I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea'.
I hope you like this thing I have created for you (my precioussss).
Yeah... idek.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF HUMAN YOU.
A Shot Of Whiskey
(Friday, September 27th)
"Fuck."
It was half past six on a Friday evening and Axel was locked out of his flat for the third time that week. He had just spent the last half an hour trying to break into his own place of residence (to no avail) and was now just mumbling abuse to the infernal piece of wood that was keeping him away from the joy that was his bed.
He was going to kill Zexion.
The idiot had promised to be home when Axel returned from work but he had probably forgotten.
Or, as Axel strongly suspected, purposely left before Axel got home.
"I really need to get my own set of keys." he sighed to himself, reaching into his pockets to retrieve his pack of cigarettes, cursing the fact that he was stuck outside now for what would probably be hours.
Or the entire night if Zexion was feeling particularly spiteful.
Axel situated himself by the balcony near his flat which overlooked the road. He liked standing here sometimes to just listen to the traffic and watch the stars. And smoke, obviously. Since Zexion refused to let him indulge in his habit in their shared flat.
"Zexion's a twat." He said out loud into the night air, watching his words disappear into puffs of white.
"Er... excuse me?"
Axel startled and turned to look at the source of the voice behind him.
A pair of blue eyes blinked back at him.
(The eyes obviously being attached to a person and not just a floating pair of blue eyes that went around blinking at individuals who spoke to themselves.)
Axel stared at the person who had just spoken. Said person being blonde, adorable and seated next to a small pile of books.
"Sorry," the blonde kid mumbled, diverting his eyes now that Axel was staring at him, "I didn't mean to scare you, it's just... uhm. You spoke out loud and there's no one here besides me."
"I didn't know that you were behind me." Axel replied, his eyes still wide with shock as he took in the adorable creature sitting a few steps away from him.
"I didn't want you to know. Because then you would feel the need to make casual conversation, and I would have to politely tell you to stop since I am currently trying to study."
Axel chose to ignore most of that statement.
"Study? But it's a Friday night."
"... I have an important test week."
"What're you studying?"
"In general or for the test?"
"General."
"Medicine."
"Cool. I'll let you get back to that then."
And then Axel turned back to face the road and the night sky and tried to not make it painfully obvious that every fibre in his body was screaming at him to turn back around and stare at the kid until he had every tiny detail of him burned into his brain.
He tilted his head up to stare at the sky and inhaled a long, shaky breath into his lungs, relishing in the feeling of cold air stinging his throat.
He wouldn't admit to the fact that his hands were trembling slightly when he reached into his pocket for another cigarette.
He swore that he was losing his mind.
Because, for the last month, Axel had been having recurrent dreams of flashes of light, fire, and an intense sense of longing in his chest where his heart resides and then... a messy blonde head of hair and eyes so blue that they looked as if they were burning into his soul.
Dreams of the kid who was seated right behind him now surrounded by medical textbooks.
"You shouldn't smoke, you know."
Axel frowned. "What?"
"Smoking. It's bad for you."
"No. What. Really?"
"Yeah. Chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder and all of that shit."
"That was a fantastic lecture."
"Thank you."
Axel sighed and turned to face the kid again.
"I thought you were trying to study." He said, waving a hand towards the textbooks that were opened at his feet.
"I was. But it's a Friday night, I've been studying the whole day, you're here, and I think that you're interesting."
"Oh. Well, in that case. Hi, i'm Axel." Axel tried not to make it evident that he was staring.
"Roxas."
"So... Roxas," Axel let the name roll off of his tongue, delighting in the fact that he finally had a name for the face that had haunted him for weeks, "what are you doing outside. It's not exactly the quietest place to study."
"I like it out here. It's too quiet at home."
"Oh." Axel doesn't tell him how weird that is.
"Are you new here? I mean... I've lived in this block of flats my entire life and I've never seen you before." Roxas looked down at his notes as he spoke, idly twirling a pen between the fingers of his left hand.
"Yeah. I moved into number 68 a few weeks ago."
"Oh?" Roxas looked up to look at the door to Axel's flat. "Did Zexion move out?"
"No, I moved in with him." Axel replied, watching Roxas' nimble fingers as they expertly twirled his pen without pause.
"S-so you're... you guys are together?"
"What?" Axel looked up to see that Roxas' cheeks had turned an alarming shade of pink, "no. No. No. Zexion just offered me his place because I needed somewhere to stay urgently. The guy can barely stand me." Axel sighed, running his hands through his hair as he glanced at his flat door in contempt. "That little fact also explains why i'm locked out right now."
"Oh..."
Axel tried to not look to deeply into the fleeting sense of relief that flashed across Roxas' features as he processed this information.
They sat in comfortable silence for a while as Roxas skimmed through his notes and Axel continued to smoke until Axel felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
Text message received from: Zexion
(20:38)
Downstairs if you want the keys.
Considered getting your own set yet?
"Ass." Axel muttered to himself as he pushed him phone back into his pocket and stood up, dusting off his pants and stretching his circulation-deprived legs.
"Going somewhere?" Roxas asked, looking up at Axel.
"Yeah, Zexion is downstairs with the keys. Finally."
"Oh, I might as well go back in, in that case. The lighting is pretty terrible out here anyway."
Axel nodded, watching Roxas as he gathered his textbooks, notebook, and stationary into a neat pile.
"I'll... see you around, Roxas?"
"Why? Do you plan on getting locked out again?" Roxas said, his lips twitching into a smile.
Axel laughed, shaking his head as he walked towards the elevators. "No, but I do plan on invading your outdoor study sessions again."
And if Axel hadn't been holding his breath as he waited for a response, he would have missed the sentence that Roxas quietly breathed out in reply.
"I look forward to that."
(Friday, November 8th)
"I can't believe that you locked your own set of keys in your flat."
"Shut up, Roxas. This is a place of no judgment, got it memorized?"
"But Axel, it's the second time this week!"
"Stop laughing at my misfortune!"
"It's not misfortune, it's idiocy."
"You're so nice to me. I'm so glad that we're friends."
"I'm going to ignore that sarcasm and say that I'm glad that we're friends too."
"Hmm. So how have all your tests and stuff been going?"
"Well. I guess. Probably better if you weren't here to distract me while I try to study."
"Not my fault you like to study outside where I can see you. And I've offered to help you study so many times."
"Studying with you is impossible. You spend, like, 20 minutes laughing at the pictures in my textbooks."
"But boobs, Roxas."
"Stop giggling. You are not five."
"Mentally, I am. And stop sighing like that. You are not as mature as you pretend to be. You still giggle when you hear the word 'penetrate'."
"...What happened to this being a place of no judgement?"
"Quit your pouting. You wanna come over for dinner? Zexion's out so I have to fend for myself, and I'd like to have you there in case of any disasters."
"With an invitation like that, how could I resist?"
"Do you need to go and tell your parents?"
"Ah, no. It's fine. They won't miss me."
(Saturday, November 16th)
Axel thought of Roxas as an enigma.
The kid was the most serious person on the planet sometimes, especially when it came to his schoolwork. He would stress and not smile for days when he had an important test soon or an assignment due, and Axel knew better than to tell him to cheer up and stop stressing. So he stayed out of his way and brought him mugs of tea while he studied in his special area near Axel's door, mugs of tea that Roxas just acknowledged with a nod.
Axel had asked him once why it seemed that he was migrating closer and closer to Axel's door every time he studied, and Roxas had looked flustered as he answered that he liked listening to Axel move around his apartment as he went about his day.
Axel didn't tell him how adorable he found this.
But as serious as Roxas was, there were times like this where Axel felt like Roxas was nothing more than a little kid in a grown up's body.
It was 4pm on a Saturday afternoon and they had decided, after marathon watching four seasons of Community, to build a blanket fort in Axel's lounge.
And Roxas had just dived face first into the mountain of pillows that they had placed inside the fort. They had also set up Axel's laptop inside so that they could waste away the rest of their day watching terrible horror movies.
"I can't believe that we've done nothing today but watch series and movies." Roxas said from his spot atop the mountain of pillows. Axel threw a few more on him for good measure.
"A day off once in a while is good for you, nerd. All you do is study." Axel crawled into the fort, making sure that he didn't topple the entire thing over as he maneuvered inside the unstable structure.
"I take days off all the time. To hang out with you." Roxas had scooted closer to Axel and was now seated next to him, surrounded by pillows and with his shoulder comfortably pressed against Axel's.
"That doesn't count, "Axel fought the urge to grab Roxas' hand and intertwine their fingers, "when we hang out you study."
Roxas snorted. "Barely."
And then Roxas leaned over Axel so that he could grab the laptop (and he felt Roxas' body press up ever so deliciously against his until he could feel Roxas' body heat through his clothes and his scent felt like it had coated every inch of Axel's skin) and Axel had to think about every gross thing he had ever seen in his life so that a specific part of his body didn't do something to embarrass him. (Dead puppies, his grandma in a bikini, his grade 5 teacher in a bikini, that time that his friends made him Google image 'Blue Waffle', his mother naked, Roxas naked, Roxas, Roxas, Roxas.)
What was this kid doing to him?
"So what do you wanna watch?" the source of Axel's existential crisis said as he scrolled through Axel's collection of movies.
Axel cleared his throat. "Er... anything terrible that we can rip apart."
Roxas laughed and Axel felt his world light up.
"Sounds good to me. Let's do that."
And then Roxas scooted over again so that there was barely any space in between them, and Axel knew that by the end of the movie, Roxas would be clutching at his arm or laying his head on his shoulder. But Roxas didn't do it out of fear. No, there was this thing that Roxas did that Axel had begun to notice over the few months that they had become close friends (close friends is what Axel allowed himself to believe that they were.).
Roxas had a complex about touch.
Axel had watched him (and ignored how stalker-like that made him seem) as he interacted with his friends and family. He never maintained physical contact with people, never going past a short hug to his mother and maybe a shoulder pat to his friends. He had watched Roxas visibly flinch away from the kisses that his mother tried to place on his cheek as he left for university in the mornings and dodge his way out of the hugs that his overzealous female friends tried to rope him into.
But when it came to Axel, Roxas couldn't keep his hands to himself.
They were just little gestures.
Fleeting touches to Axel's hands, his arms, his hair, and his clothes.
As if Roxas had to physically remind himself that Axel was still there by trailing his fingers over the back of Axel's hand, or playing with the fraying edge of Axel's well worn sweaters.
And the longer that they were friends, the less 'accidental' the touches became until Roxas was deliberately resting his head on Axel's shoulder while they watched movies, or purposely holding onto Axel's wrist as they walked to the store to buy milk because Zexion couldn't be bothered to buy it himself.
But, regardless of all the times that this had happened previously, regardless of all the times that Roxas had trailed his fingers over the skin of Axel's arm, Axel couldn't help the goosebumps that appeared on his skin when he felt the light touch of Roxas' hands on his anatomy.
He forced himself to keep his eyes glued onto the screen as images of zombies and their screaming victims played, and not look over to see the expression on Roxas' face. He was afraid that if he showed that he noticed it, Roxas would stop.
"Hey, Axel?"
"Yeah?" Axel answered his focus still on the screen.
"Do you remember... when we first met? And you told me that the reason that you're staying with Zexion is because you needed a place to stay urgently?"
"Uhm... yes?"
"Well... why? You clearly dislike the guy. How bad was the alternative that you had to choose him?"
Axel finally turned to look at Roxas with an expression of slight shock.
"Dude. How long have you been working up to asking me this question. That was months ago!"
"I know! I just didn't know how to bring it up, okay!"
Axel couldn't help it. Roxas looked so embarrassed and frustrated that he had to laugh.
And this, of course, only made Roxas even more embarrassed and frustrated.
"Fine. You don't have to tell me, you ass."
Axel wiped the tears that had appeared at the corners of his eyes and sat up to face Roxas properly.
"No, no. I don't mind telling you. I had to move out of my parents' place unexpectedly and Zexion was the only one who could accommodate me."
"Why did you have to move out unexpectedly?"
"Curious today, aren't we."
Roxas smiled at him.
"I find you interesting."
Axel returned the smile.
"Uhm. Well. My parents kicked me out. Because they found out that i'm... gay."
Axel watched Roxas' face as he spoke those words, looking for any signs of discomfort at the revelation of Axel's sexual orientation.
Roxas frowned.
Axel held his breath.
"Well, that was a dick move on their part."
And with that, Roxas moved closer to Axel's side so that they could continue watching the movie.
(Thursday, November 21st)
Roxas found Axel in their usual meeting place, and he rolled his eyes at the sight of the lit cigarette in Axel's hand.
"I thought you were considering stopping." He says simply, before setting his anatomy book down on the ground and walking up to where Axel was standing, looking out onto the busy night traffic below them.
"I considered it. Then I decided against it."
But Axel doesn't turn around to grin at him like he usually does after making a snarky comment. Roxas tries to not look too deeply into this.
Roxas fails.
"Is something wrong?" He asks, his brows furrowed in confusion at Axel's change in behaviour.
"You're going to hate me for this." Axel finally says, his gaze trained onto the parking lot of the complex. Roxas notices that the hand holding the still burning cigarette is trembling slightly.
"What are you talking about?" Roxas snaps, tiring of Axel's dramatics. And, though he wouldn't admit it, he could feel the tendrils of fear that were beginning to eat away at his throat as his mind came up with various scenarios to explain Axel's behaviour. Most of them were not pleasant.
Axel still refused to look at him.
"I know that I've met you before. In the past. Somehow. And past me was madly in love with you," Axel laughs ruefully as he shakes his head, "And present me is finding it hard to not fall in love with you too."
There's a silence, and for a moment Axel's hopes soar with the thought of Roxas not thinking that he was crazy as he felt at that moment.
But then Axel hears him leave, and only turns to look when he hears the Roxas' apartment door close in the distance. He stands and stares at the spot in which Roxas was standing for what feels like hours before he sighs and lights up his third cigarette of that hour, wishing that his drug of choice could fill the empty feeling in his chest.
(Friday, November 29th)
Text message received from: Roxas
(19:09)
Hayner's having a party tomorrow night.
Text message received from: Axel
(19:13)
Yea?
I haven't spoken to you since last Thursday, stranger
Text message received from: Roxas
(19:13)
There'll be alcohol.
I needed time to think.
Text message received from: Axel
(19:14)
That's great
I guess
Text message received from: Roxas
(19:14)
Do you want to go with me.
Text message received from: Roxas
(19:14)
To Hayner's party, I mean.
Text message received from: Axel
(19:15)
I look forward to it ;)
Text message received from: Roxas
(19:15)
The winking face was unnecessary.
Text message received from: Axel
(19:16)
See you tomorrow, Roxas
Text message received from: Axel
(19:16)
;)
(Saturday, November 30th)
(18:30)
"Don't you sometimes wish that you were that social?"
Roxas looked up from the text message that he was reading on his phone. They were in Hayner's lounge, seated (way too closely) on the couch while Axel sipped on a beer and Roxas tried to hide the label of the extremely girly drink that he was consuming.
What were 'girly' drinks anyway? Roxas knew a few girls who could out drink any guy, any day.
The girly drink label should be rethought.
He considered bringing this up with Axel.
"What?" he said instead.
Axel indicated to where Demyx was standing, a group of people congregated around him as they fought for his attention.
"Don't you ever wish you were that social? That liked? All Dem has to do is strum an instrument and hum a tune and everyone wants to be his best friend. I mean, he's a pretty cool guy as well. He's just so comfortable in these social situations. It must be amazing to have everyone love you like that."
Roxas hummed in thought, unconsciously trailing his fingers along the material of Axel's dark jeans, his fingernails following the texture of the material.
"I don't know," He answered after a brief pause, "I think... I think that I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea, y 'know?"
Axel grinned, the minute amount of alcohol in his system making him bolder than usual so that he grabbed Roxas' hand and pulled him to stand.
"Come on; let's go join someone's drinking game."
(19:45)
"Why did you even think that this was a good idea?"
"This was a fantastic idea. You're just really, really bad at lying."
Roxas groaned, staring at the large number of cards in his possession and at the rapidly decreasing volume in his cup of wine (cheap wine, the sort that made you rethink every decision you ever made in life).
Bullshit was not his favourite card game.
(20:55)
"Axel. Why are you soaking wet?"
"I wanted to swim. So I jumped in the pool. But I forgot that I was wearing clothes."
"Maybe you should stop drinking."
"What are you talking about? I stopped drinking ages ago."
"You're saying this to me as you're drinking from a bottle of cider."
"I thought it was apple juice."
(23:32)
"Axel. Who are we meant to bum a lift home from?" Roxas asked, lifting his head up from the mountain of pillows that he had collected from various rooms in Hayner's house.
"Zexion. He said that he didn't mind taking us home since we're all going to the same place." Axel replied, his voice slightly muffled as he was speaking into the pillow that was covering his face. The party had died down by now, and the majority of the guests had gone home. And the few who had stayed had wandered outside, sitting around the small fire that Hayner had started and singing along to the music that Demyx played on his sitar.
Roxas and Axel, however, had decided to stay inside and enjoy each other's company.
Roxas giggled.
"What?" Axel said in confusion, discarding the pillow to look at his little blond friend.
Roxas continued to giggle and pointed to the couch.
The couch in which a comatose Zexion was spread out on.
Axel groaned.
"The idiot promised that he wouldn't drink!"
Roxas shrugged, crawling around the lounge as he searched for the television remote.
"Oh well. We may as well entertain ourselves since we're stuck here." He said, triumphantly holding up the device.
"What do you have in mind?"
Roxas grinned evilly.
"Reality TV."
(01:20)
"I can feel my brain cells dying."
"Oh, come on Axel. How can you not find a reality show about drag queens entertaining?"
"That's the problem! This is too entertaining!"
"Stop fighting it. Just give in. Give in to reality TV."
(06:01)
"Axel."
Axel felt warm hands stroking his face and decided that he was definitely dreaming.
"Axel? Come on, wake up."
Axel opened his eyes slowly to see a pair of blue eyes looking at him expectantly.
"Wha?" He mumbled out, a huge part of his brain screaming at him to just close his eyes and continue sleeping.
"Let's go watch the sunrise together."
That woke Axel up.
And then Roxas grabbed his hand and dragged him outside, and even though Axel was sleepy as hell, he made sure that he memorised the feeling of Roxas' fingers intertwined with is. Committed every single detail to memory so that he could replay this moment to himself over and over when he was alone.
By the time that they were seated on Hayner's driveway, the sun was just beginning to appear, bathing the sky in a sea of red and pink.
"This is... beautiful. I don't think that I've watched a sunrise in years." Axel said, staring up at the morning sky in awe, "Thanks. Thanks for making me watch this."
Roxas shrugged. "Watching it alone isn't as magical."
"Well then, I'm glad that I'm watching it with you." Axel whispered, closing his eyes as he felt the morning sun's rays warm his skin.
They sat there in silence until Roxas spoke again, his voice quiet and unsure.
"Axel?"
"Yeah, Roxas?"
"Do you... " He frowned, and Axel watched as he started chewing on his bottom lip, gliding his tongue along the skin afterwards as if to soothe it, "Do you ever feel like you're not meant to be here? Like you're taking someone else's place just by living?
"And the person whose place you took could have made a difference in the world... could have saved it. And instead the universe just got stuck with you."
"I don't – "
"Never mind. Forget it."
Axel shook his head.
"No. Look, I don't exactly understand what you're saying but, "Axel closed his eyes and grabbed Roxas' hand before his brain could tell him how absurd he was being, "if it means anything... i'm glad you're here Roxas."
Roxas smiled and, to Axel's elation, didn't pull his hand away.
And then Axel realised how close they were sitting. And that somehow, without realising it, Roxas' face was now absurdly close to his.
"I think... I think that this is the part where you kiss me." Roxas whispered.
So Axel did.
(Wednesday, December 11th)
It was a lazy Wednesday afternoon, and Roxas and Axel were lying in Axel's bed, surrounded by blankets and pillows and way too much chocolate for two human beings to possibly consume.
They did this often. Lay in bed together, pressed up against each other as close as possible but not doing anything more than holding hands. They hadn't kissed since the night of Hayner's party. And even though every cell in Axel's body wanted nothing more than to ravish Roxas, he was terrified of scaring him off. Of coming off too strong.
Where Axel was as sure of his feelings for Roxas as he was of his own name, Roxas felt confused by the entire scenario.
But that was okay. Just holding hands, like they were doing at the moment, was enough to make Axel's heart so fast that he swore that Roxas could hear it.
"Axel?"
"Hmm?"
"This whole 'past me/past you' thing... what do you remember?"
Axel swallowed nervously. The last time that they had this conversation; Roxas didn't speak to him for a week. But he answers anyway.
"I don't remember much, you know. I just remember longing, and feeling incomplete." His hand rubbed over the place on his chest where his heart lay. "And I remember you."
They're quiet for a while before Roxas speaks again.
"What did past me look like?"
Axel turns to lie on his side, a nervous and shaky smile on his face as he tries to take the question as casually as he can. But he can almost feel his heartbeat pounding in his throat.
"You –" his voice breaks and he tries again, "you wore your hair longer back then. It was this blonde mess that seemed to do its own thing. Looked like you styled it that way but I knew that you woke up in the morning like that."
Roxas ran his hand over his short, cropped blonde hair. "Really? I haven't worn my hair long since I was a kid. Would you..." he looked down, his cheeks colouring, "would you like it if I grew it out?"
"The length of your hair makes no difference to me, Roxas. I'm in love with you all the same."
(But Roxas grows his hair out anyway. )
(Sunday, December 29th)
(10:03)
"Are you sure it's okay that I slept over? You didn't even tell your parents. Won't they be mad?"
"Calm down. It's no big deal." Roxas answered lazily, running a hand through his insane bed head. His blonde hair was longer now, and when it wasn't styled by large amounts of hair product, it stuck up in crazy directions that Axel just loved to tease Roxas about. His favourite taunt at the moment was 'Hedgehog'.
"But I haven't even met your parents before..." Axel muttered, playing with the hem of his t-shirt as they walked down the passage from Roxas' bedroom to the kitchen. Axel could hear Roxas' parents speaking to each other in the lounge. He frowned, looking at the two breakfast bowls set out on the table, "oh, does your mom know i'm here then?"
Roxas stared at him, his eyes wide with something akin to fear before his features hardened into his trademark scowl.
"Shit. "
Roxas knew the anatomy of the heart; he understood the physiology and conduction system as well. Knew that it was a self regulating pump that kept him alive, just a muscle with electrical impulses. But Roxas still couldn't explain the sensation he felt when he realised that his mom was having one of 'those' days. Couldn't explain why it felt like his heart had literally sunk to the bottom of his chest.
"Roxas, honey. You didn't tell me we were having company!"
Both boys turned at the sound of the voice to look at the woman who had just entered the kitchen. She had blue eyes just as bright as Roxas'.
"You guys were asleep when we got home, I didn't want to wake you."
"Well, I'll make an exception this one time but you know that I disapprove of sleepovers on a school night," she smiled at Axel warmly, "I even forbade Sora from weekday sleepovers when he was your age."
Axel frowned. School night? Roxas had told him that he didn't have class today.
"Sorry, mom."
"Now go and wake your brother up for me please. Or he'll be late for school again."
Roxas doesn't feel like correcting her today. So he shoots Axel a look that roughly translates into 'don't ask any questions' and starts walking back to his room.
Axel follows.
"I didn't know that you had a brother. Why haven't I seen him before?" He asks, once they're alone in Roxas' room, sipping on the cups of coffee that Roxas made while talking to his mother.
Axel can see Roxas' body visibly tense and he's almost sorry that he asked. They don't speak for a while before Roxas finally breaks the silence.
"Do you want to go somewhere with me?"
(11:17)
Axel wished that real life conversations came with options and save points like video games did.
Because he had no fucking clue what the correct response was for the situation that he was currently in.
They were standing in front of a head stone, Roxas refusing to make eye contact with him while Axel himself didn't even know what to do with his hands.
Should he hug Roxas?
Should he act indifferent to the engraving on the limestone head stone that they were standing in front of?
Should he just do nothing and wait until Roxas spoke?
Axel chose the latter option.
"I thought that showing you would be easier than explaining." Roxas said, extending a hand so that he could brush his fingers over the engraved words.
Sora Strife
28/09/90 – 08/06/08
Beloved son and brother
"It happened five years ago. Sora had just gotten his licence a few months before and he wanted to drive me to the shopping mall so I could meet up with some friends." Axel watched as Roxas clenched his hands, his nails pressing into the soft flesh of his palm as he spoke, "some asshole decided to skip a red light. I was sixteen."
Roxas can feel his tears as they run down his face, but he felt entirely disconnected as he told Axel his story. The need to make Axel understand overpowered his own emotions.
"Do you know what that's like? Being sixteen and knowing that your parents hate you because you're the one who lived and not their precious golden child?"
"Roxas..."
Roxas shook his head.
"He was perfect. Academic, and he played sports. And he basically got along with everyone. My mother idolized him."
"Remember at Hayner's party that night, when I asked if you ever felt like you were taking someone else's place? This is why," he pointed a shaking hand towards the grave, his voice sounding slightly hysterical, "Sora is why."
"My mother still hasn't forgiven me. I'm pretty sure she hates me. Hates the fact that Sora died that day and not me."
"So she pretends. Pretends that he's still alive. That nothing changed."
"That's why I hate being at home. My mother lives in a world of delusion and my dad pretends I don't exist."
Roxas was shaking. He looked so alone and so vulnerable that Axel did the only thing that made sense to him at that moment. He pulled Roxas into a hug that he hoped conveyed all that he didn't know how to verbalize.
"I love you." Axel whispered over and over as he covered Roxas' face with kisses, ignoring the tears that ran down his own cheeks as he repeated that one phrase until Roxas stopped shaking and Axel's voice was hoarse.
(Friday, March 10th)
Text message received from: Axel
(19:41)
I love you
Text message received from: Roxas
(19:41)
i'm sitting right next to you, you ass.
Text message received from: Roxas
(19:41)
I love you, too