Leliana sat on her bed, inside a room engulfed in darkness, save for of a single candle. she leaned against her wall staring into the void. Her eyes seemed blank, as if she wasn't really there.
Dead and lifeless, most of the blue color was fading away from her eyes. She had lost weight and paled considerably. Her red hair was greasy and dry at the same time, losing its beauty and shine.
"Death is just another beginning. One day, we must all shed our earthly bodies and allow our spirits to fly free"
"It is not to be feared or hated."
What a lie.
What a shameless lie.
No matter how much unreasonable or conflicting it was with what she said before, she loathed death with passion.
It was because of it that...that he...
Tears silently made their way to the surface and fell down her once graceful features.
Part of her anger went to him, why didn't he tell her about it?
But inside she knew it was probably too hard for him to tell...
Another part of her anger went to Alistair.
How dare he live like nothing happened? Why didn't HE sacrifice himself?
But inside she knew that he was also affected by his best friend's death...
And the last part of her anger went to herself.
How could she let him die?
Why couldn't she protect him?
Why couldn't they be together?
Why...
Why did the Maker make them fall in love and then separate them?
Why did she had to suffer always like this?
First with Marjolaine.
And now with him.
The only difference was...it was worse.
Without noticing it, a sigh came out of Leliana's mouth.
Even though everyone tried their best to console her during her grieving, it was still useless.
Even her young son, Bryce Cousland, couldn't do anything about it.
A small smile was formed on Leliana face, Bryce...Oh how she loved and adored her son so deeply. He was the second man she loved more than anything.
She was being distant again.
Looking outside the window, until she felt someone looking at her intensely.
She looked down and saw familiar green eyes she tried not to remember.
Bryce reached his arms out for his mother.
"You want up, do you?" His bright face turned sour and tears threatened to spill.
"All right, all right I'll pick you up." Bryce giggled once more when Leliana gently lifted him into her arms.
He had her red hair and his father's green eyes...that was the main reason why sometimes she couldn't look at him.
It hurt ; it hurt so badly to see how much he looked like his father even at such a young age.
It was agonizing to know that he would never meet his father.
Sigh
Thank goodness, he wasn't here to see his mother in such depression.
She was very thankful to Wynne for looking after him.
She knew that Aedan would have wanted her to go on living.
However...
Leliana's fragile body shook, she was weeping so loudly. Her voice sounded cracked and broken. She heard herself cry in pain as her arms couldn't support her to crawl.
"It's impossible, I can't go on, I can't forget him...I just can't..."
She was being selfish again but she didn't care.
"I want him."
"I want to be with him so much."
She slowly tried to step from her bed to the ground, only to fall with a loud crack to her body.
She slowly closed her eyes and fell into darkness once again.
...
She didn't know when the pain started to fade away.
She didn't know when night became dawn.
She didn't know.
Not until she saw Aedan Cousland's beautiful green eyes.
He was here, how could that be possible?
No...
No, it had to be a dream.
She would close her eyes and then he would go away and then...then...
"Leliana...Open your eyes."
She opened them...only to see his gentle smile and concern in his eyes.
"B-but I-I thought..."
He didn't say anything, he only came closer, closing the short distance between them.
Their bodies came together in a connection of heavenly touch and she quickly pressed her lips into his and threw her arms around his neck.
It had seemed to startle him. He nearly fell backwards when she did it.
Then, his arms fell from their place and slowly moved around her frail body.
She appeared so small compared to him. Her body seemed to just mold into his and as flesh touched flesh, both of them fell out of the world.
Everything seemed to tremble at their embrace and the air felt slightly warmer.
She remembered how gentle and passionate he was. By now her breath was so quick that she thought she would pass out.
Her hands remained around him. She feared that if she let go, he would disappear and she would wake up.
Almost an eternity passed before she felt him press inside of her.
The rush of sensations was almost maddening.
Through her blurry vision she even saw him wince slightly as her fingernails dug against his skin.
Moan and pants of pleasure filled the dimly place forbidden to mortals.
As they made love, time seems to have slowed down.
Such a feverish and demanding lust.
Their love, emotions, wants and needs couldn't be described with words.
No words were exchanged between the two lovers as they did the deed.
Everything else was forgotten.
...
The maid was getting worried, she had knocked the door four times and asked permission to enter but nobody answered.
When she went in, all she found was a smiling and crying Leliana on the floor.
"...? Lady Leliana? Are you feeling alright?"
Leliana turned her head to face the maid, sobs and giggling escaping her.
She smiled a smile full of love and cried tears of happiness.
"I...I am going to see him!"
"I am going to see my love again at last!"
This would be the last time she or anyone saw Leliana.
And when questions were asked, the maid would only say :
"The Maker heard her pleas at last."
...
A few days later it was said that they found a young red haired woman in her room.
She hanged herself.
But even in death, the young woman was smiling.