AN: IM SORRY IF THIS DAMAGES YOUR FEELZ. 3 x

Dean laid on the grass in the middle of the day, sun high above as he looked into the clouds shading him from the blinding light. He took in the soft sent of the fresh air and the earth around him and sighed, Castiel loved days like these.

"Hey Cas, me again, I know it's only been three months, seems like a lot longer, doesn't it? It does. I miss you. Hell, heaven knows I miss you. Three months may not seem like long up their angel, but down here, it's torture.
Sam's worried for me, I mean, I know you didn't have a choice when you returned to heaven, not this time. That doesn't make this any simpler.

Sometimes I think about what might be going on up there, are you visiting Bobby, Mom, Dad, or even Jo?

Or are you laying somewhere thinking of me, maybe, maybe even hearing this like a prayer, even though that's impossible.

I think about you Castiel, the way your hand fit in mine, intertwining our fingers together, never letting go, not unless we had to.

All the fights, battles, how much we won, you using your mojo to make even the most fearsome scurry in fear, but not me. I know you, I know your heart.

I know you think your cursed Cas but here it is, your not, don't give me that adorable tilted head gaze. I know I can't see you but I know if you hear this you'll be doing it Castiel, like I said I know you.

Even if you were cursed Id still want, still love you.

How many years would this be, on earth together. Almost six if my memory doesn't deceive me.

The angel, and his hunter. I didn't always admit it but even Sam and his thick headed skull could tell I was yours, always have been. But you know that now don't you? "

Dean stopped to rub at the faded mark on his shoulder.

"Fact is I need you Castiel, I need you here on earth with me. I need you to zap your feathery butt down here right now, but that's not possible.
If only you still had your grace, gave that up too. Used the last of it to save Sammy for me. I don't regret that, and neither did you, we were happy, we were human, we were together.

Are you an angel again Castiel? Can you hear this prayer, why aren't you responding?
Cas, please, you can't be gone. It's all my fault. If I had just, if I hadn't asked for help on that hunt maybe the Dijjnn wouldn't have drained you, maybe..but it's too late for that now."

Dean rolled over onto his stomach and traced Cas' name in the grave stone. "Castiel Winchester, loving brother, husband, angel, human."
A soft tear found its way down the smile wrinkles of Deans face, the wrinkles that were now fading, of course why was there a need to smile now?

- LINE BREAK. ;-;

Castiel was sitting in heaven on his bed in the bunker, of course there was no one their, no memories, why would there be? He was waiting for Dean, his soul mate to join him.

He wasn't an angel anymore. He never would be again but his hand still tingled everytime Dean touched his mark, and he still heard the prayers.

He wrote a letter down, with a quill and pen, maybe one day when Dean was to join him he could finally read it, finally have peace.

"Hello Dean.
I heard you, I've always heard you and I wish I could come get my "feathery butt" down their to you my beloved. I pray that you will not die, will not have to join me here. I pray that you will live a long fruitful life, I pray, but alas it will not make a difference, I will see you soon my love, I can feel it. Am I horrible for being happy about that fact?

Perhaps.
You would like to know what the Dijjnn showed me would you not? Why I didn't leave?

I will address this fact for you Dean.
He showed me you, smiling at Sam as a child, with your mother, growing up together, painless, no demonic entity, no me either but that matters not.

You were happy Dean. That is all I have ever wished.

And I am happy. I am happy knowing you think of me. "

-LINE BREAK ;-;

Castiel leaned down pressing his lips against the grass the closet to earth he could reach as Dean looked to the sky, they both felt for a single moment each others presence. And that was enough.

-EPILOGUE \=.=/

Sure enough, a few months later Dean and Sam were in a crash, not your typical death for a hunter, more peaceful, and let's face it, Dean wasn't going to leave baby with no one to look after her, so she went too.

When Dean awoke for the first time in forever he was greeting with piercing blue eyes that made his heart start again, that for filled him. And they had each other, they had Sam, they had baby, and the rest of the family that didn't, that will never end in blood, and that was enough.