REVENGE Plan M.A.R.Y. S.U.E. Ch. 1

[Make Author (-esses) Relieve their Youthful "Sanity" by Unleashing EVIL]

Disclaimer: I don't own ANYONE but me, myself, and Yami Me. Not even one bishie. Sobs And the concept of the Falling into M.E. thing is overdone, but the concept of revenge is MINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!

Please give a hand to TypoNumber5 and WatcherofDarkness, my co-authors! Read their fics; they're on my favorite authors list.

NOTICE: I'd slowly reloading all the revised chapters due to the new (and stupid) NO SCRIPT FORMAT--- I mean, there's nothing WRONG with that!!! In fact, many of my favorite stories are in script format!!!

"HEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!"

Wow, I, a plain teenage girl with plain light brown eyes and plain dark, color-treated hair get the first line.

Yami Me roared in indignation. "YOU DARE DEFY THE DEMONESS!?"

Yep, that was my Yami, my dark side. She had mid-back silver hair, streaked with blood-red highlights. Sometimes I wonder if it IS blood. And she had matching red eyes with flecks of silver on her irises. Hey, I actually learned something about anatomy in Biology class.

"How did I get involved in this?" asked TN5.

That was my friend, and co-torturer, TypoNumber5. She had brunette hair, and she was a couple years younger than me, but she makes up for it with her insanity. I hate to admit it, but sometimes she's more insane than me in our Yugioh fics.

"BACK OFF!" warned WOD. With the imposed threat in front of him, he desperately swung his staff at them.

That's Watcher of Darkness, the all-powerful sorcerer who helps me torture others in my Inuyasha stories.

Marik backed off. "For the love of Ra! This is gonna be harder than I thought!"

Watcher of Darkness fired a magical thunderbolt at them. "HA! Can't get us!"

"Nice plan, Marik---" Bakura sarcastically complimented.

Four people were backed off in a corner of Megami's bedroom. Those unfortunate souls included Yami Me, TN5, WOD, and myself.

"What were you gonna do to us again? Just kinda... run through it one more time," said TN5.

Seto scoffed. "Baka. We're gonna finally get our revenge on you all for subjecting us to all the torture, the glomping..." He shuddered at the memories.

An obviously fake blonde spoke up. "AND YOU LET FANGIRLS GLOMP OUR BOYFRIENDS!!!" With that, Mai decided to choke Joey in a headlock.

Yami Me smirked. "As long as your fangirls asked it, they got it."

And as a flourish to her threatening tone, she whipped out the Millennium Glaive. I put on my saddest 'innocent' face, which caused Yami Me to snort.

"Yami-Chan? Why are you helping them?"

Yami sighed. "The lights and I were outvoted."

Bakura laughed at him, so I decided to throw a nearby chair at his head.

"Ouch."

TypoNumber5 raised an eyebrow. "So... why are Watcher of Darkness and I victims of your retaliation? ---Hey! I used big words!"

Ryou answered. "Apparently, Marik and Bakura hate you two because you gave Megami so many ideas for torturing us and even came over to assist her numerous times. I just want to let you all know: Yugi, Yami, Serenity, Isis, and I tried to dissuade them."

Tea spoke her mind. "I WAS KILLED A LOT!"

Malik chuckled. "Actually, everyone but you actually enjoyed that."

Tea scowled. Malik was surprised. Hell, I was surprised. "Did you just have a NON-FRIENDLY look on your face just then?" he asked. Tea was about to slap him when Watcher of Darkness interrupted.

"You do realize that you all can't hurt two insane girls with Authoress powers, the DEMONESS, and an all-powerful sorcerer?"

Bakura laughed sadistically. "No, but we can test your sanity when we send you to another world! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Megami raised an eyebrow. "How can you test our sanity when he just said TN5 and I were ALREADY insane?"

Bakura stopped laughing abruptly. Marik raised his hand, Sennen Eye glowing on his forehead. "Enough. To get even for all you've done--- you'll have no choice but to become your deepest nightmare."

"Which is----?" I interposed.

Yami Me denied she had such a fear. But I saw Marik lift his hand, with Yami in the back restrained by Seto and Bakura, and Serenity and Isis passively standing back.

'Some help they are,' I thought.

There was a bright light. And then there was nothing. Geez, how cliché is that!?

I was suddenly conscious again and I felt the itchiness of grass on my legs. I snapped my eyes open and sat up. I also realized there was a large backpack on my lap. It contained: a large Aquafina waterbottle, a hairbrush, some hair accessories, packets of Ramen, a couple Cup-O-Noodles, my favorite body spritz from Victoria's Secret--- "Sweet Temptation", eyeliner, concealer, eye shadow, mascara, lip-gloss, a bunch of Winterfresh gum, my fav; a warm blanket, a flashlight, a small First Aid kit, ---tampons... A bunch of AA batteries, and to my relief, my MP3 player. I cannot live without music. Or my signature scent. Or gum. Or makeup. Definitely not makeup.

Yep, these are what I call the essentials.

"YES! Or, wait, I'm screwed; where am I?"

I saw TypoNumber5 and Watcher of Darkness lying near me in this meadow-like thing. They also had backpacks next to them.

'Wait... Meadow-like thing?' My thoughts were interrupted when Yami Me spoke behind me.

"I see you're awake now. I am SOOO gonna kill them when we get back. ---Do you know where we are?"

I took a good look at my surroundings. "Let's see... Grass... Grass... And more grass. Oh wait, there's some mountains way over there. And there's grass. Nope. We should wake them up." I gestured at TN5 and WOD. But they were already waking up. "Okaaaayyy, never mind then. How are you guys?"

"Greeeaaatttt. Where are we?" asked TN5.

"Hey, there's some dude riding a horse over there," WOD pointed out.

Indeed, in the direction he was pointing at, there was a man on a horse. He had a pack, a sword and a shield the size of a dinner plate.

"Funny, he looks like Boromir," I commented.

"Who?" asked Yami Me.

"You know, that guy who dies in the first Lord of the Rings movie?"

"Oh yes."

We all squinted our eyes to get a better look. "HOLY SHIT! It IS him!" I exclaimed.

TN5 paused in thought. "So--- Marik dropped us in Middle Earth?"

"Looks like it," affirmed WOD.

Boromir rode towards us. "Shit, he's coming towards us..." uttered WOD.

"He's definitely gonna ask us for our names!" I said, worried.

"I'll just tell him I'm Yami Me. Don't know about you guys..."

"No duh. I guess I'm still Megami. But what about you two? They're bound to know something's up if we call you TypoNumber5 and Watcher of Darkness."

Just then, Boromir catches up to us. "What are three maidens and a lad doing in this area?" he interrogated.

WOD raises an eyebrow. "'Lad'?"

Boromir eyed us suspiciously. "And what strange garments you wear..."

Each of us looked at each other. I was wearing camouflage pants, boots, a black tee, and some fingerless gloves. The whole biker chick/fighter/army brat getup. TN5 was wearing some jeans and a Linkin Park concert tee. WOD was wearing his sorcerer getup. And Yami Me... was wearing black pants, black long-sleeves, and a black and silver cape. That, and she was STILL holding the Millennium Glaive.

Boromir steered the horse back a step. "You! With the weapon! Who are you?"

Yami Me looked him in the eye and said, "I am called Yami Me. And this---" She held up the Millennium Glaive, "---Won't kill you unless you are a threat." She smiled 'sweetly'.

"Since when did you smile!?" I asked in Japanese.

"I have never heard of that language... where do you hail from?" asked Boromir. Sheesh, stop with the 3rd degree.

TN5 looked confused. "Um... America? That was Japanese right then."

Boromir made to draw his sword. "You lie. There is no "Amerryka". You must be servants of Sauron!"

Thinking quick I asked, "Um, who's Sauron?"

Boromir looked thunderstruck. "You've never heard of him? How old are you?

"15."

"13," stated TN5.

"15," affirmed WOD.

Yami Me however, chose the wrong time to be truthful. "5015."

Boromir looked at her sharply. "What?"

I proceeded to elbow Yami Me in the gut.

"Kidding... I'm 15..."

"Such a young age. I am mistaken. You're too young to be servants of Mordor. What are you all doing traveling alone at such dangerous times?"

TN5 sweatdropped. "Well we didn't have a choice in the matter..." Ha, if only he knew...

Boromir gestured to them. "Here, come with me to Rivendell. Lord Elrond might know what to do with you. My name is Boromir of Gondor."

"I'm Megami--- again."

"I'm Yami Megami--- but everyone calls me Yami Me, or else."

"Um... I'm Satu." ....'SUGAR'!? No way she's not kidding... Yami Me and I looked at TypoNumber5 in question. "Yep," said 'Satu'.

Watcher of Darkness declared, "And I am Konton the Mahotsu!"

The girls present would have sweatdropped, if we weren't in a non-anime world.

Boromir questioned. "What's a 'Mahotsu'?"

"It's Japanese for 'Sorcerer'," I informed him.

Boromir's eyes widened. "You're a sorcerer?" he asked, amazed. 'Gandalf will certainly like this lad,' he thought.

WOD aka Konton, affirmed, "Yep."

Boromir straightened his face out and said, "Very well then. If you would accompany me, Rivendell is only half an hour away."

"Okay then."

Who knew walking in boots on uneven ground hurt so much? I found out the hard way... Boromir was talking on and on about Gondor or something like that. Yami Me stayed silent the whole trip, probably devising a way to sadistically maim the YGO cast. Satu was listening to her own MP3 player and Konton was at least pretending to listen to Boromir. I took this as an opportunity to clear something up.

"Uh... Satu? Konton?"

Satu taking off her headphones, looked at me and asked, "Yeah?"

"You named yourself 'sugar'?" I whispered.

"Yep. Cuz I get hyper very easily!" she replied with her loopiest grin.

"Oh yeah! And Konton? You named yourself 'Chaos'?"

"Hey, that is another one of my pennames..."

"Oh."

And sure enough, about half an hour later we were at the gates of Rivendell. I gasped. "It's beautiful!!! Well, at least more beautiful than the movie."

Yami Me snorted. "I don't get how this is supposed to be 'revenge'..." she said with the quote fingers.

"Hey! We get to meet the Fellowship!!!" said Satu.

After we arrived, Legolas the Prince of Mirkwood had entered Rivendell. He walked past us, but not without giving us a few good stares.

What's his effin' problem!? "What!? Is it the pants? Crap, he probably heard me."

Konton blurted, "Hey! Maybe I can get Legolas to touch a plain old rock then sell it back home for millions on EBay!"

The girls and I looked at him like he was a genius. Easy money. Wait... how would they know he touched it? Oh well.

Boromir had unloaded his horse. "Come along now! I shall take you to Lord Elrond."

Argh. Do you know how annoying it is to have a couple of guys stare at you forever? Elrond and Gandalf just stared at us for at least 15 minutes straight, occasionally glancing at each other. Finally, Yami Me decided to break the silence.

Yami Me broke the silence. KIISAMA! Can you both stop staring at us like that?

"Um, Yami? We ARE kinda strange by Middle Earth standards..."

Elrond looked at her in surprise. "Our apologies, my lady."

Konton snorted. "Psh. Yeah."

Gandalf began the interrogation. "So you all are from another world? Please describe your situation."

"Okaaay... summarized version: We're all authors from another world and we keep hosting stories about humiliating our favorite, um, people. They retaliated, sent us here, and they are going to die when we get back. Boromir found us, brought us here to Rivendell, and you've been staring at us forever."

Elrond raised an eyebrow. Sheesh, hasn't he ever waxed those eyebrows? Crap. He probably heard that while reading my mind. "Well, magic like this is out of my comprehension. Perhaps you should go to Lorien and seek Lady Galadriel's counsel. Tomorrow---"

Satu interrupted. "--There will be a council and a Fellowship will be selected and we shall accompany them to Lorien. Yadda-yadda-yadda..."

Elrond looked suspicious and Gandalf stood up and glared at us. Great. "How do you know this?!"

"We're clairvoyant," Konton replied sarcastically.

Elrond, raised an eyebrow again. "Are you really?"

"Shit, the actually bought that!?" he asked in Japanese.

"Hai..." I replied in awe...

"We know of the future course of events if that's what you're asking..." stated Yami Me.

Gandalf looked dubious. "I don't know if that's how you knew of the Council, but you must prove you really foresee the future and are not spies."

"Well, we can tell you who will be in the Fellowship tomorrow..."

Elrond looked like this was impossible. "Let's hear it then."

I glanced at the others. I hope they watched the movie at least.

"Frodo, Legolas, Aragorn---"

Yami Me added, "---Boromir, Gimli, Gandalf---"

Satu also added, "Merry and Pippin; you'll see what I mean."

Konton then spoke up. "And Frodo never goes anywhere without Sam.

Gandalf grinned. "Most interesting..."

Elrond sighed in frustration. "Perhaps you should join the Council tomorrow."

Yami Me impassively accepted. "Fine. Whatever."

The next day ----

Oh yes, we were sitting at the Council. Of course everyone was staring at us; we were still wearing the clothes we were wearing yesterday. I think it was Gimli's dad who told TN5, Yami Me, and me to wear something more modest, for the sake of virgin eyes. He has a son, how can HE be a virgin? Or was he trying to protect his son's eyes? Ewwww... I better shut up before something else pops in my head. Oh, looks like Elrond wants us to introduce ourselves to the Council.

"Um, I'm Megami."

"I'm Yami Megami the DEMONESS, but call me Yami Me, or else."

Everyone stares at her with disturbed looks cuz of her choice of a title and the Millennium Glaive in her hand. OoOoOoHhHh... shiny and pointy...

"Um... I'm Satu."

"I am Konton the Mahotsu!"

I muttered, "Déjà vu!"

Legolas looked thoughtful. "Such strange names... Are they of a foreign tongue?"

"Japanese," Yami Me clarified.

"'Megami' means Goddess; 'Yami Me' is Dark Goddess; 'Satu' means sugar, and 'Konton the Mahotsu' means 'Chaos the Sorcerer," I stated.

Gandalf looked interested now. "You are a sorcerer?" He said to Konton.

"Yep. A very powerful one at that."

"Interesting..." commented Legolas.

Elrond cleared his throat. "Let the Council begin... Strangers from distant lands, friends of old..."

I swear he stole that tiara from Arwen. Sheesh, the movie scene was so much shorter; we don't need to hear your whole life's story. Eventually, Frodo placed the Ring on the stone table thingy. From the looks of it, TN5 was spacing out, and Yami Me and WOD were staring at the Ring. Uh-oh.

"---The Ring must be destroyed. One of you must do this."

There was a silence. I swear I hear crickets chirping, but I think that's only TN5 being funny. Sure enough, she was looking "innocent", which meant she did it. Then Boromir started ranting on and on about using the Ring or something. Until he started sounding desperate. I decided to stop him before he sounded even more pathetic.

"You cannot wield it! None of us can! The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master!" I declared.

Aragorn kinda looked at me like I stole his glory. Oh wait, I did. Oops.

Boromir looked condescending at me, "Megami, what does a maiden like you know of these matters?"

I stood up tall and glared at him. "Hey! I am no mere maiden! I am Anime no Megami! Goddess of Anime!" I struck a pose.

Everyone immediately started to whisper. "---A goddess? ---Do you hear her? ---She's a goddess! --–What's anime?"

What's anime? Kami-sama, you guys need a life. Wait, I need to stick to the script. "Oh and he's Aragorn."

Aragorn then looked at me this time like I was stupid. "Havo dad, Megami."

I looked at him confusedly. "Have a dad? I already have a dad. He's in the Army." I stare at him stupidly.

Legolas laughs "He means for you to sit down."

"Baka," commented Yami Me.

So I did so. Boromir then said Aragorn is Isulduir's heir and something about Gondor having no king. Personally, I think he's just jealous. I actually can space out for a while since I've seen the movie a zillion times. Then there was that big argument thing a few minutes later. Better zone in again.

Frodo stated, "I will take it!"

Everyone was still yelling.

Satu stood up. "SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! Frodo's trying to say something you insubordinate children!"

Everyone shut up pretty quickly.

I turned to Satu. "Niiiice..."

"Ha. I even used articulate words."

Frodo then was appointed to be the Ring-bearer, duh.

Gandalf stood up. "I shall help you on your burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it is yours to bear."

Aragorn followed lead. "By my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword."

Legolas also went over. "And you have my bow."

"And my ax!" declared Gimli. He'd be damned before some Elvish 'prissy' got all the glory.

Boromir stood up as well. "If it is the will of the Council, Gondor will see it done."

Konton turned on me in Japanese. "What? You're not going to offer him a weapon?"

Yami Me answered him in the same language. "Yeah, his big ass shield."

Oh, to the surprise of everyone except us, Sam popped out and then Merry and Pippin.

Gandalf declared, "So you speak the truth!"

"Huh?" I had totally forgotten.

Elrond reminded us, "You all really can foresee the future!"

At that point, everyone decided to stare at us. Oh joy. I love the staring; can't get enough of it.

"I think all of you should come with us, at least to the Realm of Lorien, where we can send you back home, hopefully," proposed Gandalf.

Something rung a bell just then. Don't ask me; I'm slow. "Now wait just one minizzle! This whole scenario is too familiar---"

Satu looked at me. "How so?"

Yami Me thought aloud "------There are a lot of Lord of the Ring fics back home, right?"

"Yeah----?" Konton asked, still not realizing...

We stared at each other for a few moments. Then the truth hit us like... like... well, like 20 sumowrestlers.

Satu's eyes got as big as saucers. "We're--- we're..."

Yami Me completed that thought. "MARY SUES!!!! OH THE INHUMANITY!!!!"

I fell to my knees oh so dramatically and looked to the sky. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Pippin looked at me. "Wow. Talk about dramatic."

Konton looked relieved for a second. "Excuse me? I'm a guy. I can't be a Mary Sue." He paused. "---But I can be a Marty Stu. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"

The whole council covered their ears, especially the Elves.

Boromir shut us up. "What's wrong!?"

I started shuddering. "We're Mary Sues! Or we're gonna become Mary Sues!"

Satu interrupted, "QUICK!" She handed me a handkerchief. I would have blown my nose from my tears but she stopped me. "NO!!! Blindfold yourself!"

"Why?"

"If you can't lay eyes on one of the obvious Mary Sue targets, you won't become one!" She scanned her eyes around and screamed. Then everyone looked at her like she was crazy when she covered her eyes. "Close your eyes before you stare at Legolas! He's ALWAYS who the Mary Sues fall in love with!" she warned in Japanese.

Yami Me looked away. "There is no way in hell I'LL be a Mary Sue!"

I had blindfolded myself. "Where is everyone?"

Merry looked worried for the sake of sanity. "Um... Why don't you take that off?"

"NO!!! Cuz then I might see some hot elf and fall in love with him, thus becoming a Mary Sue!" I started to cry through my blindfold. Aragorn turned to Konton.

"'Mary Sue'?" he asked.

"Very scary thing. If they go Mary Sue on any of you, it'll be a living hell. (To the girls) Relax, I'm a guy, so I'm not about to fall in love with, say, Legolas, so I'll prevent you from becoming Mary Sues," he replied.

I lifted the blindfold a bit. Legolas looked scared at this new definition of "Sue-ism".

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. Promise."

Satu seemed calmer. "Okay. But if we start to show Sue-ism, you gotta stop us!"

Konton nodded. "Same thing with Stu-ism."

Yami Me replied, "Deal."

We all turned to the Fellowship like nothing had happened and smiled. They were looking at us like we had some contagious disease. They were obviously questioning our sanity. Or so I thought cuz now even my co-authors were staring at me.

"---What?"

Konton and Yami Me were laughing.

"WHAT!?"

Satu, my true friend, answered me. "Your mascara's running."

I put a finger to my eyelashes and replaced my blindfold.

"Aw crap."

Well, that's the first chapter of REVENGE Plan M.A.R.Y.S.U.E.

Is it as good as my other stories? If you haven't read my other stories, DO SO NOW! ....Please? Then add me to your favorite authors list and add this to your favorite stories list. Okay, I love you, bye-bye!

I'd also like to thank TypoNumber5 and WatcherofDarkness again! I love ya like a fat kid loves cake! [Don't ask, and no, I'm not a big 50 Cent fan.]

At least 10 reviews please!

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