CHAPTER 1

A/N – Hello my dear readers! It's been a while since I wrote anything for Black Butler, but I was tempted by a certain demon author and here I am, with a little story dedicated to them body and soul ;))) Do not expect more than 2 or 3 chaps at most in total, it's supposed to be short and to the point, hopefully. Also, I'll be adding a 'soundtrack' to each chapter, since I've done this before and found it inspirational. So enjoy!

Summary: Post season 1 AU. 150 years after Ciel's death, the Crow demon still misses his most special contractor. But is there such a thing as the God of Second Chances or just karma being a bitch?

Warnings: crack, language, private jokes and some circumstantial blasphemy

Soundtrack: Skylar Grey – Kill for you

"You don't know, just how far I'd be willing to go

You put the cracks into my moral code"

A mess of ramparts and sharp towers loomed against the reddish sky, topping the building which happened to be particularly unsightly even by Underworld standards. It had been built in mockery of what in the world of humans would have been called a cathedral and it stood in the middle of the desolate square like a captured trophy of sorts, giving such weird vibes that even its builders had given up the idea of keeping Sabbaths inside in bad weather.

Sebastian did not care to remember when the bizarre piece of 'imported' architecture had been erected or by whom exactly (or why, for all its blatant lack of purpose, endured to this day), but it had certainly been around for a very, very long time. In fact, until a while ago he'd thought the construction so old and decrepit that pieces had begun to drop at random from its façade, mercilessly raining down on unsuspecting passers by.

The Crow demon had not thought it peculiar though until, after having fallen prey to the surprise debris droppings on several occasions, he had noticed that it was exactly the same piece dropping every single time, aimed for skull crushing as if by a malevolent but nevertheless precise hand. The same piece, even if every single time the relatively tiny lump of granite would shatter upon impact with the pavement into a million crumbs. For some reason the stony ornament, which was shaped into a petite gargoyle with crooked wings, uneven horns and a bashed in snout, regenerated again and again, such that it was always prêt-a-tomber on someone's head. However, Sebastian had become absolutely certain of foul play the day the creature, instead of doing its usual trick, had spoken to him. 'From up here I can see your hair thinning on the top, you silly old demon' it had stated with obvious mirth.

"What would be the correct phrasing in this case? 'You're boring as heaven'?"

Sebastian sat in one of the decrepit pews which had rotted away without having ever been used and he looked up with a conspicuous sigh, acknowledging that his moment of peace was officially over. On one of the high beamers up above was perched the little stone gargoyle who didn't have a name, just an awful attitude. 'I am a concept' it had declared as a matter-of-fact, upon being asked what it was and the Crow demon had decided it was enough bad news to inquire any further.

"Do you not ever get bored?"

"Nope! Plenty of things to do," the gargoyle said and took to the air, launching into a rather abrupt descend which ended with its sharp claws sticking into the wooden backrest of the pew, close to the demon's head. "And I was still hoping you'd be essentially in the same situation, that is until you came here to brood. Have you gotten yourself into some bad contracts as of late? Has everyone been much too adoring to properly shove cheesecake in your face?" (an episode far too epic to be ever allowed to fade into the quagmire of history….)

The demon let out an exasperated sigh. "You don't know a thing. And yet you know too much! Our conversations as of late have led me to believe that you must be one of those petty deities of old which still plague Underworld without purpose. Is that not so?"

"Without purpose?"

"Indeed."

The creature fluttered its wings in annoyance and huffed. "Just because you don't see my purpose it doesn't mean that I am without one!"

"And what might that be? Dropping on people's heads? Spoiling their mood with a crude remark?"

"If you must know," the gargoyle stated solemnly, "I've only been dropping on your head alone, in the hopes of waking you up. You know, wake up and smell the coffee."

How very absurd.

"I do not consume coffee, or any other beverage devised by the-"

"I know, but whatever it is that you've been consuming as of late has clearly left you constipated," the stone lump interrupted, shifting closer. "But you're in luck just now, because it is my purpose – one of many, mind you – to pull you out of your misery! You might call me an ornament, but you, Crow demon, are stuck in a dusty spot and I am to shake you from it!"

Sebastian fleetingly wondered if he should have appreciated the creature's attempt at cheering him up, if that was indeed its plan. Though, what harm could have been in conversation?

"Alright, what do you have in mind?"

The creature fussed some more. "For example, I find the human world quite enjoyable," it said.

"Oh, please… I already know everything about the human world and don't plan to return to it for a while."

"Ha! You don't even have Instagram!" the gargoyle pointed gleefully. "And if you had seen what I have seen on Youtube yesterday… " Stretching its miniscule wings, it hopped from the backrest onto Sebastian's shoulder uninvited. "Come with me to a gig tonight and we'll have dinner!" the stone lump said, bouncing excitedly up and down, oblivious to its own weight and sharpness of claws.

"No."

The club had a medium-sized hall filled with randomly placed tables around the dance floor and there was a small, chic little stage in the back, where most of the lights were concentrated. The bright red velvet curtains sparked with golden decorations, easily drawing one's gaze away from the rest of the setting, which was mostly sunken in darkness. Sebastian found it all incredibly dull and unlike the petite gargoyle (who was now invisible but no less of a pain in the ass), didn't think that the mushroom-shaped Galle table lamp was interesting either.

"Buy me a large pizza before the show starts," the creature prompted impatient, and the demon was actually forced to snatch the menu before someone got to notice that the pages were turning on their own.

"Oh dear, not cordon bleu? And where's my dinner?" Sebastian muttered. "Aren't you buying me anything?"

A snort very much like a cat's sneeze resounded close to his ear. "Silly demon, I don't ever buy anything, I find stuff for free," the ornament said. "For I am the absolute master of making a whip out of shit! The God of it even!" A stone wing swatted Sebastian over the head, turning his face to the stage, where something could be seen stirring behind the plush curtain. "There is your dinner! Young, fresh and still alive, heh!"

To be continued

A/N – prêt-a-tomber = ready to fall

And yes, this sucks hard but I'm publishing it anyway.