Title: Work Woes in Wonderland

Summary: She likes to give him pet names, but this time, it has gone too far.

Rating: K+

Prompt: Laughter

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. For SasuSaku Month 2012.

He detested this job.

And no, he was not merely complaining for just the sake of being defiant, as society would explain in response to his adolescent age. He had perfectly understandable reasons that anyone with a brain would agree as to why he hated his job.

What were those reasons?

First, it was the smell of the place. It was not sanitary. He was sure of it. With all the mess customers leave behind, it makes one often wonder what their parents have been teaching them. They all sure lacked proper manners! Since it was summer, the days were long, and he cursed (under his breath or he would get caught by his employer and be yelled at again) when the air conditioning refused to work.

Countless times, he volunteered to take a look at the system, fully believing he could fix it. Most of the people working here were inept. He didn't just say that because he hated people; he knew his co-workers. They went to the same school as him, but still completely useless. So when he went to the back room and looked at the AC system, he fixed some of the wiring.

Or so he thought. It just seemed to enhance the foul smells of the place. He deemed it old and unfixable, and not in reflection of his mechanic skills, which were pretty good, thank you very much.

Secondly, he was not a "people" person. Nope. Never in his life had he been forced to come into such intense contact with these gross human beings until now.

Girls latched onto him to squeal and coo. It led to shrieks and laughter.

This was definitely some summer job. And he had that annoying pink-haired girl, who by the way was delusional and liked to be called by the title of "Girlfriend," to blame.

She suggested they work together to earn money, and feel "independent", as she nicely put. Sure, he could detect the underlying thoughts in her words. She thought he would refuse because he came from a wealthy family. But, she should know by now, as an Uchiha, he was not going to back down from a challenge and let her think less of him. Hn.

He could barely see out of the eye sockets of this costume as he turned towards the front, careful not to hit any unsuspecting human. Though he could barely make out who the people were, he could still tell that it was the "Girlfriend" who was waving at him. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the constant thought. Why the hell was she either a hostess or cashier while he was stuck with the lousiest part of the job?

She didn't fit the height requirements for this horrible costume, yes, but this was gender discrimination. Damn his genetics!

At the end of the day, Sasuke's lower back was aching terribly. He was drenched in his sweat. His black hair stuck to his forehead and to his nape. He desperately needed to get out of here, into a cold shower, and proceed to die.

However, he couldn't clock out just yet. As "independent" as he already felt, only accepting this job on behalf of proving that teenage girl wrong, he needed help getting out of this costume. And the person he would only allow to see him in such an after state was her; lucky him, she was the one closing up tonight.

He tried to sit on a plastic yellow chair as she finished up whatever she was doing. Sasuke needed to remain patient. It wasn't such a bad day after all. The worse was on birthday celebrations. Those little brats dominated the ball pit.

Due to a shortage of staff, he was also in charge of retrieving personal items like toys or socks before he put on the horrid costume for the show. Whenever parents yelled at him to quickly find their kid's shoe, which they were always in a hurry to get home, he would find it unbelievable that rules weren't followed in the first place.

If the large sign "Please take off shoes" was not readable to these "people", and they couldn't properly teach their children how to read, then humanity was lost.

This job was getting to him. He wanted to quit so much.

It was so annoying.

Perhaps it was not as annoying as having to wave his arms and act "cute", as the "Girlfriend" put it, for these kids.

Or not as annoying as being required to learn the dance moves to the songs being referred to as "music".

He would have to kill anyone who knew that it was him all along under this "lovable" children's character costume. Naturally, he threatened some of his co-workers, and they avoided him at all costs.

Smirking in satisfaction at the thought, he started to doze off, as he continued to complain mentally.

There is nothing wonderful about this place. Who was the idiot that named it anyway?

It was closing time. Once the doors were shut, Sasuke wobbled towards the "Girlfriend."

He stood there for about 10 seconds when he realized his head was still covered in the monstrosity. Sasuke "Hn-ed".

Nothing.

Was she ignoring him?

"Sakura."

"One moment! I need to put my head in the freezer."

He grunted.

"Oh! I'm sorry! Come here."

He hunched over so that she was able to pull of the headpiece of the dinosaur costume. The place was still humid from the pizza baking and the energy of all the kids; but to him, it was glory to breathe in some new air.

"Sasuke-kun."

With eyes remaining closed, he raised an eyebrow to inform her that he was listening.

"You look very adorable as Barney."

"Shut up," he mumbled.

"I love you too, Sasu-cakes."

"Stop calling me that, woman."

"Sorry."

Her body weight shifted to her right leg as she reached up to scratch her nose. Sasuke was relieved for the silence. His ears had stopped ringing. As he inhaled to take a deep breath, his girlfriend grinned.

"Barney-kun."

She ran away laughing, while he, out of instinct began to chase her, only to fall flat on his perfect face. His tired legs finally gave out, smothered by the costume.

Ouch.

How the hell did Barney deal with this shit?