AN: I am completely in love with Taylor Swift these days, and when I was listening to her song I'd Lie the other day, this story immediately popped into my head. I'm really excited about it and I really hope all of you love it too. I'm also hoping that my devoted Hidden Desire reviewers will find themselves devoted to this story as well. Please don't forget to review and let me know if you think I should continue with this story!

I'd Lie - Chapter 1

June 9, 2009

For the past twenty six years Gabriella's heart has been longing for a certain someone. For the past ten years her heart has been jealous. For the past six years her heart has been screaming at her to take a chance. For the past sixteen months her heart has been breaking into millions of pieces; or was that her whole life? She knew what her whole life was though: a huge lie. It was ridiculous actually, and she knew that it was slowly destroying her mentally, physically, and emotionally, but she didn't do anything about it.

But nine months ago she was fully prepared to have a mental breakdown; she was fully prepared for her body to shut down completely and for her to go crazy.

She no longer smiled; smile like she did when she was younger and innocent. Smile like she did when she didn't know the pain that could be felt in this world. Her smiles were fake these days; they were filled with no emotion and blank eyes. It was forced and its only purpose was to make everyone else happy.

She was surrounded by happy people at the moment. People with tears in their eyes, people dressed up for one of the most special days of their lives, people with only dance, music, cake and food on their minds, people who seemed to just be high on life. Now where did Gabriella fit into all of this? Well, you could say that she was one of the people with tears in their eyes I guess, but those tears weren't the same as everyone else's.

Right now she was slumped over in a confessional in St Bernadette's Catholic Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. No, she wasn't there to confess all of her sins or to pour out all of her true feelings to a random minister. She was there because she was hiding. She was hiding from all of the other people that were running around this church at this very moment trying to piece together millions of little details. It had become too much for her, and it had been that way for almost all of her life. But nine months ago it was clear that she was going to fall over the edge and she was going to have an almost deadly landing.

September 1, 2008

The sound of Taylor Swifts voice engulfed Gabriella's bedroom at what felt like the crack of dawn. A pissed off whine left her mouth as she automatically rolled over towards her night table to snatch up her cell phone. She didn't even bother looking at the caller ID before speaking in an annoyed tone to the person at the other end.

'Geesh, I'll assume that I'm waking you up?'

'Why are you calling me at 8:30 on a Saturday morning? You know that this is the only day I get to sleep in Troy, and I take that very seriously. I am so desperate for sleep, and now I'm never going to get t-'

'Alright Gab's, I'm sorry. But trust me, what I'm about to say is totally worth it.'

'It better be,' muttered Gabriella before she collapsed backwards and her head hit her pillow again.

'I did it.'

'You did what?' Did he honestly expect her to be able to think in the state that she was in? She was half conscious, tired, pissed off and annoyed.

'I did it, I finally did it.'

'Troy. I have no freaking clue what on earth you are talking about. No freaking clue.'

'Joy. I did it, I finally asked her Ella, I really can't believe that I did it.'

She was still clueless as to what he was talking about, and the fact that he was talking fast and saying very little meaningful words was driving her crazy.

'What did you finally ask Joy, I'm extremely confused.

'She said yes, I asked her to marry me and she said yes!'

Her mouth dropped open and her heart beat felt like it was going to explode out of her chest. That was it; one of the final straws had just been pulled. Her eyes darkened, her body stiffened, her hands clamped shut into tight fists, her blood was boiling, her head was shaking no, and her cell phone was about to fall from her ear.

It actually did, and then it was slammed shut and thrown against her bedroom wall. She starred at it as it sat in three pieces on her hardwood floor opposite her bed.

No words came from her mouth, only pain shot through her body. He had actually done it and he had no idea that she felt this way about it. Would he ever even know how she truly felt? Probably not. Why? Because she was a coward.

A boring and monotoned ring filled her bedroom once again, except this time it was her house phone, not her cell phone. She knew exactly who it was, but could she talk to him again so soon? Ugh, she didn't have a choice. Troy would get worried about her and probably end up coming over to check on her and then she would have to explain herself. But she couldn't explain herself, she couldn't tell Troy what really happened and why she did it. He wouldn't understand; he didn't have those type of feelings for her like she had for him.

So she apprehensively picked up the house phone and hit the talk button. Immediately Troy's voice filled her ear and he frantically asked her what had just happened. She replied by telling him that her phone just slipped out of her grasp and she lost it in her bed sheets. He could be oblivious enough to believe that. And it worked too, because he did believe her and let the entire thing slide. Next thing she knew, Gabi was stuck listening to Troy talk about him and Joy getting married again; the main cause of her now shattered cell phone.

But she listened to him talk about it; she listened to him tell her exactly how he did it, where he did it, what she said, what he said, how much she cried, how happy he was.

He was happy, and she had absolutely nothing to do with it. Talk about a slap in the face.

The entire time he talked, all she could mutter were monotone "yups" "uh hu" "mmhmm." Nothing that needed her to actually move her mouth came out of it. They were all easy sounds that would simply reassure Troy that she was still there. But if he could actually see her, he would see cold tears running down her paled cheeks, disappointment in her eyes, her lips upside down in a frown, and her fists still clenched shut extra tight.

It was all over.

It was once said by Ralph Waldo Emerson that "Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause in effect." Was Gabriella waiting for luck to just take its course? It sure felt like it. If she wanted Troy so badly, why the hell didn't she go and do something about it? Create a cause to have an effect?

Maybe it was because she was sure that Troy didn't feel the same way about her as she felt about him, or so she thought. Their freshman year in college they were both out together at a party where Troy had a little too much to drink. He had promised her that he would protect her that night, and every other night that he was ever alive. He said that he would always be there to listen to her, to always try to see her side of things, and to always be the best friend to her that he had been since he first met her.

But when he was pressured into playing some provocative games and he had already downed a few bears and orange juice and vodka cocktails, everything went down hill. Way down hill.

She overheard Troy and another random guy talking and for some reason she heard her name being mentioned. Instantly her head shot up and her attentions was focused solely on Troy and the guy. All she can remember hearing are the phrases, 'she's like my little sister' 'never in a million years' 'I can't have strings' 'different girl every night.'

Gabriella was heart broken and she immediately ran out of the house and somehow found her way back to her dorm. Ever since then she just can't look at Troy the same way.

June 9, 2009

After a few deep breaths, Gabriella found herself standing on her feet again and smoothing out her crystal blue chiffon knee length dress with a deep v-neck and thick straps. It was a very pretty dress, but it was hard to look at without becoming emotional. The color was a mirror image of Troy's eyes and Gabi was certain that Joy had done that on purpose. All the more reason Gabi wanted to go punch someone.

She put herself back together, whipped the tears from her face, and dug out her fake smile to plaster on her still pale face. After she was comfortable with herself, she slowly opened the confessional door and made her way out into the suddenly quiet and empty hallway. After looking left and right, she noticed the bathroom a few doors down and quickly ran inside so she could check her appearance.

Only a few moments later Gabriella was startled by the intense beatings on the bathroom door and the sound of Taylor's voice calling her name.

Gabriella quickly moved to unlock the door and Taylor came flying inside. She stopped though once her eyes settled on Gabriella's sad face and she instantly went to embrace her in a tight hug. 'Oh hunnie, I'm so sorry.'

'You have nothing to be sorry for Tay.' Now was not the time for Gabriella to cry, she couldn't let out her emotions right now. She was pretty sure that all of her friends knew how upset that she was about this marriage, but for some reason they had never talked about it.

Taylor and everyone else could see as clear as day how upset Gabriella was with all of this. It tore them to shreds to see how depressed Gabriella had become in the last few months specifically, even though they knew that she had been falling apart for years.

One time when Taylor asked Gabriella about everything that was happening, she asked her why on earth she didn't just go and tell Troy how she really felt. None of her friends could comprehend why Gabriella would just hold all of her true feelings inside of herself. Gabriella told Taylor that she felt that she didn't have a choice. She was sure that Troy didn't want to be with her in that way ever, and although it was heart breaking she had no choice but to deal with it.

Not being able to be with Troy romantically was one thing, but to not be with him period, to not be with him as a friend would be the death of her. So she kept her mouth shut and her heart sealed as tightly as she could all for him.

'Umm... I've been looking for you for a while actually. Troy wants you.'

Just hearing those words made Gabriella's heart stop for a few seconds. It always made her happy to know that she was on his mind, or that he wanted to see her. It made her feel like she wasn't the only person in their friendship.

'Oh... what for?'

'I don't know, but he's kind of freaking out without you by his side and he's been begging for you for a while now. I don't think it's a good idea to keep him waiting any longer, you know how he gets without you.'

A small and barely noticeable real smile played on her lips at Taylors words. It was cute how he could get sometimes when it came to her, but the words "she's like my little sister" would always play through her mind right after.

'Is he in his room changing?' asked Gabriella quietly.

'Yeah, he's alone waiting for you.' Gabriella gave Taylor a quick and fake smile with a slight nod before making her way to the bathroom door to leave.

'And Gabi?'

Gabriella turned around to meet Taylors eyes filled with pity. 'I'm so sorry, really. My heart will never be as broken as yours may be, but believe me when I say that it's still broken. I hate this too.'

Depression filled Gabriella's body and worked its way up to her eyes. She just nodded in understanding to Taylor before leaving the bathroom and heading towards where Troy was.

After knocking on his door a few times, it flew open and a relieved looking Troy was directly in front of her. 'GABI!' He immediately pulled her body into his and her face was crushed by his strong chest. Her arms just laid at her sides as numbness filled her body. It was so hard to be around Troy, especially on a day like today. His wedding day. The day he was getting married to the woman he loved. The woman he would spend the rest of his life with; wake up by her side every day, go on vacations with, make love to, cook dinner with, laugh and share stories with, be with. She wasn't that woman though and it completely destroyed her.

'I've been wondering where you have been! I need help putting my cuff link's on.'

'Why didn't you just ask Chad?'

'Because Chad's not you.'

Troy had a huge smile on his face, but his eyes were dead serious. She was blown away by his words but her face was still pale with numbness. Her eyes hadn't changed; they were still empty. She felt heavy and tired and almost like she was going to pass out at any moment. But he needed her to put on his cuff link's, so she would put on his cuff links. She would do anything for him because it was him. She needed him.

Silence filled the air as she easily attached his cuff links and carefully scanned over his presence to make sure he looked good and that everything was in its proper place. All of a sudden Troy's quite voice broke her concentration on trying to pretend that Troy was just a regular guy that she knew: someone who she felt no feelings towards at all.

'Am I doing the right thing?' asked Troy. Desperation was visible in his eyes, he needed reassurance.

The right thing? NO. You. Me. Together: that is the right thing. You. Me. Not together: that is not the right thing. All of this is messed up and wrong. Every single thing.

'Yes Troy.'

'Yes?'

She felt like a robot: only doing what people wanted her to do, only saying what she knew people wanted to hear. None the less she did it all and said it all, while inside she was screaming to say what was on her mind again, to voice her opinion, to let all of her emotions lose. It didn't matter though, she just nodded her head with the same blank and frozen face she had kept the entire time. Turning her body away from his, she urged her legs to move her and she slowly and barely walked away from Troy.

AN: I just have to thank xo LAILAIxo for the extra encouragement to get going with this story and finish the first chapter. So this story is basically brought to all of you readers because of her, thanks Mel! If you like this story, make sure you check out my other ones, Hidden Desire, Enough Is Enough and my new OneShot Joining You In Heaven. Please review!!

FiFi xoxo