Summary: Staring into those deep brown eyes of his, she knew she was ready for a change. QL
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"Change"
It wasn't cold, but she felt cold. It wasn't raining, but she felt as if she were being pelted with tiny droplets of rain as her heavy breathing picked up. The waves weren't crashing against the sand like they usually did, but she felt as if they were going to tumble over each other onto the shore and drown her in their choppy sea. Everything...just wasn't anymore. Including her two and a half year relationship with a guy who had absolutely no charisma at all.
After finally getting fed up with Mark's lack of understanding, personality, good looks, and well, just about everything...Quinn had finally given up. There was nothing she could do to change him, and everything she tried ultimately ended up in a disaster. At first it was painful, but over time she got used to it. After all, she'd always been looked at differently, so if Mark could get embarrassed about being her boyfriend, then she sure as hell could get embarrassed about being his girlfriend.
It all seemed unfair, now that she examined the situation more closely. A smart, caring girl like her deserved way better than Mark. If anything, he was lucky to have dated her. Sure, she might have been the campus freak at first, but if Mark had quickly overlooked that, then why did his feelings change? Why did he turn into the person she hated the most? Why did he have to turn out to be egotistical and snobby like, like...Logan.
Although it pained her to even think about uttering his "holy" name, Quinn couldn't help herself. He was attractive, she could say that much. But why did he act the way he did? Why did he insist on treating women like sex objects? Were they just that trivial on his long "to-do" list? Or did he have nothing better to do than degrade people? It was all a tragedy in her mind, how everything had turned out. Logan was always the one on top, and she was always the one on the bottom.
Mark had ended up becoming really popular. Ironic, yes, but also very factual. After he'd met Rebecca, he'd revealed his humorous side that he'd kept hidden from everyone else. Some say she'd brought that out in him, that's why they'd ended up together. But when someone said those harsh words, Quinn felt like lurching at them and giving them the ol' one-two-buckle-my-shoe.
Because it was really unfair, unfair that she had ended up alone in a pair of pajama shorts on the beach, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to spill down over her plump cheeks any second now. Unfair that she had put up with Mark for over two years, and the one time she was the one who needed to get put up with he had walked. Walked away and not even turned back to look at her, as if the moment he had finally yelled "It's over!"that she was already a part of his distant past.
Sadly, there had been no one there to help her. Lola was too caught up with her budding acting career, Zoey was too happy with her new flavor of the week to care, Michael tried to turn everything into a joke, Chase was never at his dorm to take calls, and of course she couldn't confide in Logan of all people. He probably didn't even know the meaning of the word feelings.
Her heart swelled in her chest, and her breath caught in her throat. Why did everything have to be picture perfect one day and so absolutely not the next? Why did everything always turn out in someone else's favor? It just wasn't right, damn it! If Mark was so hilarious, how come he never tried any of his clever one liners on her? She did funny things all the time. She blew off his fucking eyebrows, gave him fucking laser eye surgery in her dorm, and just fucking hung around him when everyone else refused to! Of all people in the world to double cross her, she would never have guessed that Mark would have done it first. It just really sucked, and that's all she could conclude because the first tear had finally trickled down her round, pale face.
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Rising to her feet, Quinn wiped at her face hastily with the back of her sweatshirt sleeve. A light wind blew her flowing, dark brown hair behind her, and she looked far off into the distance, wondering if anyone else had a special hiding place anywhere around PCA. It was about one in the morning, but she decided to go on a little treasure hunt anyway.
Trampling hard over the sand that threatened to swallow her feet, Quinn made her way back towards the gates that opened up to the beach. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself, Quinn realized that she felt even colder now, even though there was only a light wind nipping at her cheeks. Maybe it was all the pain she had been experiencing lately. Yeah, maybe that was making her skin break out in goosebumps.
Tugging the gate open fiercely, Quinn whimpered as she felt one of the wires dig into her skin. The crimson liquid flowed from the gash in her skin, as if it was a waterfall. Instead of wiping the blood onto her pants leg, Quinn stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked on it. After the stinging sensation had vanished, she pulled her finger out of her mouth and giggled to herself. She had sucked her own blood, she was a vampire! Ha!
As she strolled along the dead silent sidewalks of PCA's campus, she thought she saw a figure hovering over the fountain up ahead. No way, she thought to herself, it can't be. I haven't slept in days, and I'm not wearing my glasses right now. I'm probably seeing things.
But as she got closer, she realized that there was in fact, a person, hovering over the fountain doing God knows what. Her first thought was to break into a run and to never look back. Who knew who that person was and what they were doing there? What if they planned to harm someone, the first person that happened to walk by at this hour? Gulping, Quinn walked on, taking baby steps at first, then breaking into a run due to her brimming curiosity. Curiosity killed the cat, she reminded herself. Well, I guess I'm about to die, she mumbled as the person looked up and saw her.
Before she could even walk towards them, she ducked into a nearby bush so they would only think it was a silly apparition. After the person had hopped up onto the ledge of the fountain, she scrambled out from her temporary hiding place and walked along the edge of the row of bushes, so she could sort of blend in with them. Since she was wearing flats, she didn't have to worry about her footsteps sounding heavy.
Inching closer towards the hunched figure, she realized it was a male. Not that it made a difference, but she was now considering approaching the person. She was now only a few feet away, and she saw a dim glow burning off the end of the person's finger...no wait, that was a cigarette! Gosh, she thought to herself, did they not know the dangers of smoking...and come on, on their boarding school campus?
Deciding to play a little joke on the mystery man, she leaped forward and yelled, "Boo!" A loud scream escaped from his throat, and he dropped his cigarette, revealing his hard, tanned face. Oh my gosh, she gasped, it's...Logan?
Since he had practically fallen off the ledge, Logan straightened up and managed to squeak out, "Quinn?" at the top of his lungs.
Squinting her eyes, Quinn stepped closer and breathed out, "Logan?" Fumbling around in his pocket for another cigarette, Logan motioned her over with his other hand.
"Yeah, it's me." Flipping out a lighter, he sparked up and lit the end of his cigarette, his hands shaking slightly from the now harsh gales blowing his light brown curls away from his face. Taking another few steps towards him, Quinn noticed that Logan looked like he had been crying. Trying not to seem hesitant, Quinn hopped up onto the ledge next to Logan and hung her arms loosely at her sides. If she was going to do this, she had to act like she didn't have a permanent grudge against him.
"Um, what are you doing out here...alone?" she asked quietly, not wanting to startle him since he seemed jittery. When Logan's hand brushed against hers, she quickly pulled it away and rested her hands in her lap even though she had felt something like electricity shoot up her arm and straight down her back. Why was this happening to her? And why had she so willingly sat down next to her worst enemy - someone who she was supposed to hate?
Pushing those thoughts away, Quinn lay her hands back down on the ledge on either side of her. If she was going to talk to Logan, she was going to have to do it wisely. Not too abrasive, not too timid, and definitely not too much. Deep breath, okay this is going to go smoothly, she said to herself.
Before he replied, Logan took a long drag from his glowing cancer stick. "I just needed to get away..." he trailed off, leaning forward, as if Quinn was standing in front of him. "There's been a lot going on and I, uh...just needed to get away from it all, that's all." Nodding slowly, Quinn took in this information. A lot going on? Did that mean he had actually gotten a girl pregnant? Wow, who would have seen that one coming, huh? Sarcasm of course, clouded her thoughts.
"Like what?" she whispered hesitantly, leaning a little closer to him. "Don't be afraid, you can tell me," she said, coaxing him on. Turning to look at her, Logan's arm brushed against Quinn's side, but this time she didn't back away. She actually wanted to know if Logan Reese had real feelings.
"It's just that, there's a lot of family drama going on right now," he mumbled, and it would probably have been incoherent if Quinn hadn't been leaning so close to him.
"Just tell me, it's okay." Bumping her shoulder against his so he would feel more secure, Quinn noticed that Logan's eyes were glazed over. Maybe he was a little high, or maybe he was about to cry. Who knew anymore? With each passing day, Logan pulled out a new card that she didn't even know was in the deck.
"Can I trust you to keep your mouth shut about this?" As Logan turned to look Quinn directly in the eyes, she placed her right hand over his left.
"Yes," she whispered, wondering why it was such a huge deal.
"My mom just died, supposedly of cancer-" he began, spitting the words out as if they were fire on his tongue.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Quinn began, rubbing her thumb over his forefinger softly. Instead of placing his head on her shoulder and starting to cry, Logan pulled his hand out from under hers and stared straight ahead.
"Let me finish!" he yelled, balling both of his hands into fists. "My mom just died, supposedly of cancer, but I know for a fact that it wasn't that. My dad, he always used to beat her, and when I would try to get him to stop, he would hit me too..." Jaw dropping, Quinn felt the need to give Logan a hug, to let him know that someone was there, but she was afraid he would get upset again. "He would always hit my little sister too, and she ended up running away. I'm pretty sure she's dead now, too. And he would always hold the fact that he was filthy rich over my head. It was either a sucky life or a luxurious one, filled with fancy restaurants, dorky ties that always threatened to cut off my circulation, and hot, fast girls that my dad always picked up for me. He used money to control me, to make me stay. And if I got even the tiniest bit angry at him, he would swipe my bank account clean with a flick of his hairy wrist. Once, when I threatened to tell, he threw me out in the middle of a thunderstorm. I almost killed myself," he yelled angrily, dipping his head so Quinn wouldn't be able to see the tears pouring down his face. But it was no use, because Quinn could hear the sobs escaping his throat, and she knew that no one would be able to keep their eyes dry while listening to Logan's story. "From cancer," he started again, taking a deep breath, "from cancer that I didn't even know she fucking had! Because she didn't have it! That fucking bastard! He beat her to death, and of course he wasn't going to come straight out and tell me that! He knows what I would do!" As the tears spilled down his cheeks in longer streams, Quinn tried to calm Logan down.
"Sh, sweetie it's going to be okay, all right? I'll help you work this out." Placing a hand on his shoulder, Quinn tried to smile softly. She couldn't believe she was feeling sorry for Logan, but right now he sort of needed some sympathy. Shrugging her hand off, Logan turned to her, his eyes blazing.
"No, everything isn't going to be okay! Don't you see how much of a wreck my life already is?" Stunned, Quinn shrunk back and really let his words sink in. Of course it must hurt, but why had he kept this holed up inside for so long? How come he couldn't talk to Chase or Michael about it? Were they that insensitive?
"Logan, if you just go to the police anonymously, your father will never know," Quinn said softly, trying her best to calm his nerves.
"Yeah, who the hell else lives in California that would rat him out?! Huh, Quinn, tell me?!" he yelled even louder, keeping his eyes fixated on the shadows of the bushes in front of him.
"Listen, I could go with you, I could tell them that I think he did something to my mother just to make sure your mother gets justice, because I'm sure she deserves it." Placing a hand on his shoulder again, Quinn was surprised when Logan let it stay there and didn't try to brush it off.
"You'd actually do that," he whispered hoarsely, "for me?" Nodding slowly, Quinn placed her right hand on Logan's back and rubbed it softly. She was pretty sure he hadn't gotten any comfort from anyone over this, so she was happy to help him with it.
"Why didn't you talk to Chase or Michael?" she asked hesitantly, afraid he would get upset about her asking such a question.
"Because they're just guys," he began, "they wouldn't know how to relate to a situation like this. And plus, they're too caught up with girls, homework, and extracurriculars and stuff. They probably wouldn't believe me if I told them due to the front I use, and they just wouldn't know what to do. Not like a girl would, at least." Turning towards her, Quinn actually saw Logan look hopeful, and she was proud that she had instilled that in him.
"Why do you act like that then? What's the use?" Leaning over to rest her head on his shoulder, she smiled when he didn't move.
"I just think it's the best route to take. They'll never be able to guess, and that's the way I want it. I act the exact opposite of the way I feel. I just think it's the best way to go so no one will have any idea of the real me." Resting his head atop hers, Logan realized that Quinn hadn't said much about why she was out here. "What brings you out here on this chilly early morning?" he asked jokingly, pressing his warm hand onto her thigh.
"I've been going through a lot, too," she whispered.
"Like what?" he asked, running his fingers along the frilled fabric of her shorts.
"My breakup with Mark," she said, as if it were obvious.
"Oh, that sleeze bag? You deserve way better," Logan said, actually meaning it. He didn't see how Quinn had put up with his shit for over two years.
"You really think so?" she asked, readjusting her head so she could look into his eyes. But then she remembered all the things that she and Mark had done together. It had been really fun spending all that time with him, and she still missed him. "It's just that, we were together for so long, and now that he's with Rebecca, he acts like he doesn't even know me when I pass him in the hallways. It still hurts, because his whole personality changed after we broke up. He acts like I was some boring hermit who never got out and had fun and stuff. And Zoey and Lola never helped me with this kind of stuff either. Brian, or whatever his name is, is so much more important and Lola's always trying out for some new play, so..." Quinn trailed off, not knowing what to say next.
"Well, I'm here," Logan said, draping his arm over her shoulder.
"Thanks, but after hearing your story," Quinn breathed out, a tear slipping down her cheek, "I realized that you have it much worse, and that I actually have it easy."
"Don't say that, everyone has their tragedies," Logan said softly, wiping away a tear that had slipped down her cheek with the sleeve of his hoodie. As Logan held Quinn, he felt her shivering beside him. "You cold?" he asked, and she shook her head keeping her face buried in his shoulder. "It's okay," he said, moving so he could remove his jacket, even though it was getting colder by the minute. Wrapping it around her, Logan saw Quinn give him a small smile. He smiled back, and then wrapped his arms around her after she had zipped up his sweater.
For a few minutes, they just sat there. Him holding her tightly in his strong arms, her resting her head against his shoulder as if he was her protector. The wind blowing his curls away from his stern, determined face. Her hair being blown in circles behind her back. It was beautiful actually, how much they looked like Romeo and Juliet. And Logan never once complained about the cold, or the fact that Quinn's hair was tickling his arms.
"Hey, you wanna play a game?" he asked, breaking the silence. "Coin wish? Ever heard of it?" He unwrapped his arms from around her and jumped off the ledge of the fountain. "Come on, it'll cheer you up!"
"Sure," Quinn said, hopping off the ledge and standing next to him. Fishing around in his pocket for change, Logan watched as the water from the fountain rushed to meet up with the water in the small pool below it. An idea was forming in his head, a great idea. "Um," he said, finally pulling the coins out. "I only have seven coins, but you can have four."
"Aw, thanks," Quinn said, opening her hand to claim them. They took turns, flipping the coins into the fountain and making their wishes. When Quinn had flipped her fourth coin, Logan stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. "What are you doing?" Quinn asked, letting out a laugh.
"You'll see," Logan said, walking closer to the fountain. He hoisted Quinn up over the ledge and she stood in the freezing water, trying to keep from shivering.
"This water is fucking freezing cold!" she yelled, wrapping her arms around herself. But when she tried to get out, Logan hopped over the ledge and stood next to her. Before she knew it, he was leaning down and splashing water onto her bare legs. "Hey!" she screamed, flashing him back.
Pretty soon, they were splashing each other back and forth and their clothes were getting soaked. Even though she was freezing, Quinn realized that this was the most fun she had had in awhile. Logan wasn't that cold, because Quinn had made him feel better, and now he was all warm inside. The warmth from inside of him helped heat up his exterior. After their clothes got so wet that they were practically hanging off of them, Logan tackled Quinn to the bottom of the small pool. He poked her sides, making her laugh hysterically. She ran her hands through his sopping curls, and he tickled her with her long, brown locks.
"I would never have known we had this much in common if you hadn't approached me," Logan said, leaning up against the statue in the middle of the fountain.
"Me neither," Quinn whispered, glad that she had made the choice to see who was out here in the cold, early morning. "I'm glad I did, though." Looking up at him, hair sticking to his face, chest heaving, mouth agape, Quinn was glad for many reasons. But mainly because she had finally opened up to a person, rather than her journal.
"We should hang out more often, " Logan said, "one on one." Nodding in agreement, Quinn felt her cheeks heat up, even though it was still very cold outside. Had Logan just hinted that he really did want to get to know her better? Wow, her luck was really turning around this time.
Suddenly, Logan lowered himself back into the small pool of water and grabbed Quinn's hand. "Thanks for listening, I really needed someone to do that for once," he said, his voice all serious.
"Thanks to you too," Quinn said, moving from her sitting position to laying down flat on the pool's bottom. Logan leaned down next to her, propping himself up on his elbow.
"I really mean it, Pensky, thanks." His eyes didn't meet hers, and Quinn guessed that he hadn't said thank you to anyone before and actually meant it.
"I really mean it too, Reese," she said, smirking when he finally looked at her. Resting his hand on her stomach, Quinn jumped at his touch. The winds were picking up speed, and no one had touched her like that before.
"I'll always be here," he told her, rubbing his hand across her stomach. "Always, for you." He dipped his head down to look directly into her eyes, his curls falling from his face and the water from them dripping onto hers. Staring into those deep brown eyes of his, she knew she was ready for a change. "Can I?"
"Of course," she whispered, craning her neck upwards. When their lips met, Quinn felt complete, as if she had been missing a part of her for so long, and someone had finally come along and filled the void in her heart. As Logan pushed his tongue through her lips, Quinn opened her mouth wider and wrapped her left arm around his neck. It felt good to finally be able to relate to someone, and to not just have to make do with writing stuff down or keeping everything stored inside her head.
When they pulled apart for air, the corners of Logan's lips turned up, and so did Quinn's. "That was amazing," she squeaked out, knowing she sounded like a teenybopper. But she couldn't help it. Maybe Logan was a stud for a reason.
"I agree," he said, leaning down again. This time the kiss was more forceful, and Logan ran his hand up her shirt, but Quinn didn't care. It felt good, and that's all that mattered. He pressed himself down on top of her, and Quinn felt like she was going to suffocate, but for some reason she didn't care. All the things inside of her weren't screaming red alert anymore, and she felt like she could burst with happiness at any moment. Although he tasted of smoke, booze, and tobacco, he was still delicious, and there was no place that Quinn would rather be than right here, underneath him.
When they pulled apart again, Logan whispered, "I don't ever want to let you go." Blinking as if she was in a daze, Quinn kept her eyes fixated on him.
"You don't have to." This time, he pulled her up, and then crashed his lips onto hers. It was kind of cliché, Quinn realized, but that didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was the taste of his mouth, the sound of the water from the fountain plopping into the water from the pool, and the wind sending shivers up her spine. She liked this change, she really did.
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A/N: I didn't want to make it seem rushed, but I really wanted it to be a oneshot. Hopefully it wasn't too bad. It might seem a little unrealistic or OOC for them, but I just wanted to write something out of my style. I don't ship QL, I just thought it would be nice to write this. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review and tell me what you thought of it.