HELLO FRIENDS I AM BACK

Aaaaand I'm back with sequel for No regrets. To be honest, I wasn't actually planning on writing anything more for this, but I've got few comments telling me I should and then someone drew a fanart of this fic and when a friend told me "Wow, you're popular, maybe you should write more," I was like OKAY LET'S DO IT.

So, here it is.

This probably won't go as smoothly as No regrets because that was a short fic and I mostly knew where I was going with it, but this is probably going to be longer and I'm not really sure about the plot itself, so I will probably take a while to update, but I will try my best.

Anyway, I've been talking a while now, so I'll shut my mouth and let you enjoy the fic itself! Have fun! C:

We did it. We won.

The nationals… we won them.

Finally.

I hear cheering around me. I know the whole team is excited; I am as well, of course. But I don't go to celebrate with them. And they know that. I look at them, because I know I should. I smile and gesture a lame thumb up. They smile back, and Yamaguchi waves at me as his lips form a silent "Go."

I nod. I turn and look up to the audience. And I see him. He's looking at me, his eyes shining with sparks and smiling widely. That usual vibe of happiness he has with him is overflowing now. He's crumbling something that used to be a transparent with Karasuno's name in his hands.

Dumbass, did you forget how much time it took you?

But I can't really be mad at him. Not now.

I start walking quickly, before someone can stop me, before anyone wants to talk to me. Because there's no time for that now. There's something that needs to be done first. There's something I need to do first.

"Where's the captain going?" I hear one of the first years, Kashima, panic slightly. "Right now, he can't just-"

"You really have no idea? You really don't know your senpais well enough just yet, do you?" a second year, Onizuka, laughs. "Just look. No need to stop him. This is important for him… for both of them. Let him be."

I hear Yamaguchi laugh and Tsukishima sigh.

I feel an uneasy feeling starting to spread from my chest. I shook it off as I ran up the stairs.

I'm not thinking about that now.

I run straight to Shouyou and he looks a bit surprised to see me do so. But he just smiles even brighter.

"You did it, Tobio, you re-"

But I shut his mouth by pressing my lips against his.

His expression the moment I did it was hilarious. He wasn't expecting it, not even a little bit. I smirk in my head.

When we separate, Shouyou's breathing heavily.

"What-"

But I shut him once more as I pick him up from his wheelchair before adjusting him in my arms bridal-style.

"It's not you," I correct him, "it's we. We did it."

His eyes widen in shock before he squeaks. "T-that doesn't mean you should do this! Tobio, put me down, now!"

"Don't wanna," I mumble and grin. "You deserve to be down there with the rest of us."

His cheeks turn red. I walk down the stairs back to the court as I smile. The rest of the team smiles too, without saying anything. All the spectators and rival team went silent, though.

"You're gonna get into so much trouble for this," Shouyou whispers.

"Don't care," I reply simply.

"This is so embarrassing," he mumbles and covers his face with his hands. "Bakageyama!"

"It's been long since you called me this."

"Shut up."

But, for some reason, at that moment, I just can't stop smiling.

...

"I'm late I'm late I'm late!"

I've been running around our apartment for past five minutes trying to find the goddamned second sock. It was nowhere to be found and my first class started in fifteen minutes. There was no chance I could make it in time.

I tried to ignore the smell of fire coming from the kitchen, because I knew too well that it was late to save the toast itself.

"Something's burning," Shouyou stated with sleepy voice from bedroom. I frowned.

"It's just a toast, I don't care. Also, maybe you could help me instead of mocking me."

"How exactly am I supposed to help you?"

"By shutting your mouth for example."

"You're the one who woke me up in this unholy hour."

"Well, my classes don't start at ten like someone's."

"Is that my fault?"

"Just shut up, idiot."

Shouyou giggled. "Sorry, sorry."

Finally, I found the sock behind the wash machine. I was ready to leave.

I thought about telling Shouyou to take care of the burned piece of whatever which was once called bread, but I changed my mind. I went to the kitchen once more and threw the black square to the trash can before taking my bag.

"I'm leaving!" I shouted from the hallway as I was putting my shoes on.

"Have a safe trip!"

I gazed to the bedroom and gave last look to the messy orange hair, which was the only thing visible between the blankets. I had to smile. And, as always, a bitter sensation started to spread from my chest.

I closed the door and took a deep breath. I shook off the thoughts once again, because I was on my way to the real world, and there, luckily, wasn't any place for them.

...

Since that day Shouyou came back to school during our first year in high school, I have never talked about it.

He said that he didn't regret it. And I trusted him. I also knew that he wasn't going to change his mind once he decided on it; he wasn't one to do that. And I can't say I wasn't happy, because I was. Because it made him happier. And I wanted Shouyou to be happy.

So that's why I never talked about this thing since. I knew he would feel bad… for me? For him? I didn't know, but I was sure he would feel bad about it. So I kept my mouth shut.

But, actually, my feelings didn't change ever since that time.

"It doesn't matter if you regret it or not… because I do. It doesn't make any difference if you hate me or not… because I hate myself enough."

Yeah, I still thought that.

I knew already that Shouyou doesn't blame me. I wasn't really sure if I understood his feelings, but I tried to. After all, he was right: I would probably do the same for him. Actually, I was sure I would do that for him, because I wished countless times to rewind the time and somehow take the damage on myself. Because I thought I could live much happier life if I was in his place. But, that was impossible. No matter how much I yearned for that, it was something that couldn't be undone. And since I was never put in a situation like him, I knew I couldn't really say that I would do it for him, though I really thought it.

It didn't matter, anyway; I couldn't do anything about it.

So I just went with it.

I knew I couldn't let Shouyou know. And I didn't. But no matter these almost three years that passed, I still felt that way.

I still felt so bad for him.

When I looked at him, I remembered it. Every squeak that tires of his wheelchair made reminded me of it. At that moment, there was this familiar feeling in my chest: harsh, bitter and uneasy.

I think I didn't accept it after all.

I tried to ignore it. For my own sake. For Shouyou. I choked it down everytime.

It wasn't like I thought about it all the time. But I don't think I could actually count it anymore. I just became used to it. I didn't really make a fuss about it: it just became part of my personality. A part of my life. Regret always started spreading from inside my chest, and I shook it off. As simple as that. Easy. I managed. I was actually proud of myself. I was able to concentrate on other things. I trained myself to focus on something else immediately when I started to have these thoughts. Shouyou's smile. Upcoming match. Everything worked.

I really tried. I knew Shouyou wouldn't want me to feel like this. And it wasn't like I wanted to feel this way either. But no matter how hard I tried, it was useless.

So, despite all my effort, I already knew that I was never going to be completely okay. And so was Shouyou. Of course, he got so much better as the time passed, because he was trying so hard, but I knew that it's not that great. I could see behind both his lies and fake smiles. But I tried not to point that out, because I knew that he was trying so hard. So, because of that, I tried my best as well.

But, in the end… I think I have never stopped blaming myself, after all.

...

"Thanks for good work, Kageyama-kun!"

I put my jacket on and nodded towards Tsukuda-san, my boss. "Thanks as well. Then, I'll be leaving."

"Sure. Bye!"

"Bye."

I walked through automatic door and breathed the fresh air. It was already dark outside. No wonder, it was nine pm.

Nine pm and I was just on my way home. I hated Tuesdays for this. I had classes from eight to one am, then volleyball practice until four and then I was working in a small grocery store near school. It wasn't the most enjoyable thing in the world, but I had no other choice. We decided to rent a flat, and we had to pay for it somehow. Well, it's not like we had much of choice there anyway. We wanted to live together, and because of Shouyou, everything had to be barrier free. We had a hard time finding some suitable apartment itself already, and dorm was out of the question as well. And it wasn't cheap. So I had to find a job, and the only one I managed was this. Shouyou tried to help by trying to find some too, but of course, he failed miserably.

Not that I would force him to find one or anything. I was perfectly okay with bearing these things myself. He didn't need to go that far. But, still, I can't say I wasn't annoyed when it was already this late and I just got on the bus heading home.

But that was a thing. It was heading home. It was heading to Shouyou.

So I put earphones in my ears and looked out the window.

Crap, I forgot to buy that washing powder after all.

I sighed and closed my eyes as I sank into the seat and let my thoughts flow wherever they wanted to.

...

"I'm home," I announced and closed the door.

"Welcome back!" Shouyou shouted.

I sniffed. The apartment smelled weird. Almost as someone has burned something in there. But there was no chance it could be that toast from the morning…

Oh.

"What's with this smell?" I asked as I took my shoes off.

"What are you talking about?"

Shouyou was a really, really bad liar.

I sighed and went to the living room. Shouyou was lying on the sofa reading some textbook. His face was red. I raised my eyebrows as I walked into the kitchenette. I looked around and stopped at the sink, in which was our new pan, completely covered in some black mass. It had signs that someone tried to clean it, but to be honest; it didn't look like a fixable thing anymore.

"You were cooking," I stated. There was a long silence before he answered me.

"Sorry."

"Why do you still try even if you know it always ends up like this?" I sighed and headed to the bathroom.

"Well, since you had a hard day, I thought I might try being useful for once."

I stopped midway and gulped.

"You don't have to," I whispered. "I am okay like this."

"But I think you're trying too hard."

I looked away and ignored the last sentence. "You might have hurt yourself," I mumbled.

"Tobio," Shouyou interrupted me firmly. "We've talked about this already."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry."

Don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it.

Shouyou just sighed.

"Well since you idiot have burned it in the end, I have to make something anyway," I announced and continued in my way.

"Oh, and, before you ask," he shouted at me before I entered the bathroom, "Yes, I bought the washing powder."

I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry.

Just don't think about it, idiot.

And I did a pretty good job not thinking about it, because when I was later lying in bed with Shouyou in my arms, I thought how nothing else really mattered than that.

Soooo that's it. Yep. For now, of course. There will be more. I hope I will be able to write more. I've actually had some issues with my writing lately along with a block because I just feel like it sucks. orz

Buuuut anyway, I hoped you liked the first chapter and sorry if it was confusing with the first paragraph being actually still from high school but that was just something I have thought about since the last chapter of No regrets and I just had to put it there.

See you next time, then! (Probably with Hinata's pov again.)