A/N: This is for TwilighLuv who requested that Emmett read Nessie Beauty and the Beast. (Note: material for Beauty and the Beast copied and modified from website ivyjoy)
Isn't It Jasper's Turn?
Emmett squeezed the sponge and soapy water rained down on the hood of his Jeep. He scrubbed at the mud.
He picked up the garden hose and pressed the trigger on the spray head. Nothing happened.
He glanced back along the length of hose to see if it was knotted.
Reneesme was standing next to the spigot with her hand on the round valve.
"Hey, turn that back on!"
She shook her head.
Emmett walked toward her. She stepped in front of the water spigot.
"Reneesme, move."
She shook her head again.
Emmett threw back his head and hollered. "Bella, Nessie won't let me turn on the water so I can wash my Jeep!"
Reneesme touched his leg and showed him an image of a donkey's backside.
He looked down at her in surprise. "Did you just call me an ass?"
Reneesme shook her head and showed Emmett a paper donkey with a removable tail.
He raised an eyebrow. "You want to play pin-the tale on the donkey?"
She rolled her eyes and showed him running to Bella and then showed Bella putting her in time out: tattle-tale.
Emmett grinned at her. "Who did you learn that word from?"
She showed him an image of Alice sticking out her tongue.
He chuckled and reached over her for the red valve. Reneesme put both hands on it and shook her head.
"Nessie, my Jeep is filthy."
Reneesme held up her arms.
Emmett picked her up and she placed both her palms against his cheeks.
She showed Emmett reading to her.
He gave her a sour look. "Isn't it Jasper's turn?"
She showed herself falling asleep as Jasper read to her.
"Yeah, Jasper is a pretty boring storyteller, isn't he?"
Reneesme nodded.
Emmett looked at his Jeep and then looked at Reneesme. "No Romeo and Juliet?"
She smiled and shook her head.
Emmett sighed. "Okay." He let her slide down from his arms. Reneesme grabbed his pinky finger and led him inside.
Emmett sat on the sofa and Reneesme scrambled up onto his lap.
She handed him the book.
"Beauty and the Beast? We have this on DVD."
Reneesme frowned.
Can't blame a guy for trying… "I was just checking… I didn't know if you were aware that we owned this story on DVD."
Reneesme nodded and opened the book.
Emmett cleared his throat:
"Once upon a time as a merchant set off for market, he asked each of his three daughters what she would like as a present on his return."
Reneesme showed Carlisle asking Edward, Emmett, and Jasper what they would like from town.
"You do know Carlisle has three daughters, right?"
Reneesme put her little hands on her hips and pursed her lips. Emmett's mouth twitched as he tried not to grin.
Nessie was spending way too much time with Rosalie.
Emmett scanned the passage and said, "So, what do each of us want because I doubt any of us men want a dress, a necklace, or a flower."
She showed Emmett that Edward wanted blank sheet music, Jasper wanted a book, and Emmett wanted a basketball.
"How do you know that I don't want a book?"
Reneesme placed her hand on Emmett's neck and showed him the look he had given her when she had asked him to read to her.
She also showed him the Cullen DVD collection and a close-up image of the Disney's Beauty and the Beast DVD filed under B in the Family section.
"Touche."
Reneesme showed him the donkey's backside and a question mark.
"I said too-shay, not tush-ee. It means…" Emmett frowned, trying to remember the exact dictionary definition but coming up blank.
"It's a fencing term. It means I-get-your-point. Literally."
"Back to the story… When the merchant had finished his business, he set off for home. However, a sudden storm blew up,
and his horse could hardly make headway in the howling gale. Cold and weary, the merchant had lost all hope of reaching an inn
when he suddenly noticed a bright light shining in the middle of a wood. As he drew near, he saw that it was a castle, bathed in light."
Reneesme showed Carlisle's Mercedes doused in rain and the wind was blowing it from one side of the road
to the other and back again. He pulled up to Charlie's house.
"I'm confused," Emmett said. "Shouldn't Charlie be seeking shelter at our house? His place isn't exactly what I'd call a castle."
Reneesme gave him an enigmatic smile and showed him an image of a bathroom scale.
"We're not reading The Merchant of Venice."
She showed him a question mark.
"It has scales in it."
Reneesme sighed. She showed Emmett stepping on the scale.
"I don't know… 210, 215?"
She showed him a stop sign.
"You want me to stop reading?"
She shook her head and showed him a yield sign.
"Wait?"
She nodded and he said, "You want me to wait and see?"
She nodded again.
Emmett read: "I hope I'll find shelter there for the night," he said to himself. When he reached the door, he saw it was open,
but though he shouted, nobody came to greet him. Plucking up courage, he went inside, still calling out to attract attention.
On a table—"
Reneesme interrupted Emmett's reading by showing him a 6-pack of beer sitting on the dining room table
and the flat screen turned on to a Seattle Mariners game.
"I know Charlie likes those things, but I don't think Carlisle would."
Reneesme showed him a wooden fence.
He raised his eyebrows at her. "What?"
She showed him one of the slats in the wooden fence.
Emmett grinned. Why was she showing him a wooden stake? "I still don't follow you."
Reneesme crossed her arms, her eyebrows drawn together in thought.
Emmett waited.
She placed her hand on his neck and showed Emmett touching her arm with the pointy end of the fence slat.
Emmett laughed when he realized what Reneesme was telling him. "Wrong type of fencing!"
She gave him an indignant look.
"I meant fencing like Errol Flynn… Robin Hood?" Emmett picked up the TV remote and brandished it like a sword.
She rolled her eyes: whatever.
She showed Carlisle picking up a goblet of thick, red liquid from the dining room table and draining it.
Emmett chuckled. He had to admit it was difficult to imagine Carlisle lunging at a deer or mountain lion
if you hadn't seen it for yourself. He saw a traffic light on green and looked down at Reneesme.
She pointed where Emmett should begin reading.
"Overcome by curiosity, he ventured upstairs, where the corridor led into magnificent rooms and halls.
A fire crackled in the first room and a soft bed looked very inviting…"
Reneesme showed Carlisle walking up the narrow stairs and entering Charlie's bedroom.
Instead of a trunk or bench at the foot of the bed, there was a black coffin lined with red silk.
Emmett raised his eyebrows. "Who's been letting you watch vampire movies?"
Reneesme showed Bella putting Jacob in time out.
She snatched her hand away from Emmett's neck.
The look she gave him told him that she hadn't meant to tell him that.
Hehehe… black mail on Jacob...
He gave Reneesme an innocent look. "That's all right Nessie, I won't tell Bella."
"The merchant went downstairs to thank his generous host. But, as on the evening before, there was nobody in sight.
Shaking his head in wonder at the strangeness of it all, he went towards the garden…"
Emmett snickered. "Charlie has a garden?"
Reneesme shrugged: sure why not?
"Suddenly, a large rose bush caught his eye. Remembering his promise to Beauty, he bent down to pick a rose..."
Reneesme showed Emmett that the rose bush also had rolled up sheets of music paper sticking out of it and Carlisle plucked one of these instead of a rose.
"So Edward is… Beauty?" Emmett snickered until Reneesme pulled his nose.
"Instantly, out of the rose garden, sprang a horrible beast, wearing splendid clothes."
"Alice?"
Reneesme shook her head.
"Two bloodshot eyes, gleaming angrily, glared at him and a deep, terrifying voice growled:
"Ungrateful man! I gave you shelter, you ate at my table and slept in my own bed, but now all the thanks I get is…"
"Please tell me Jacob is NOT the Beast," Emmett groaned.
Reneesme shook her head rapidly.
Thank God! That would have been gay…literally.
"… now all the thanks I get is the theft of my favorite flowers…uh, papers! I shall put you to death for this slight!"
Emmett said, "That's kinda harsh, don't you think? Is this magic paper or something?"
Reneesme shrugged: not important.
"Trembling with fear, the merchant fell on his knees before the Beast.
"Forgive me! Forgive me! Don't kill me! I'll do anything you say! The rose…uh, paper wasn't for me,
it was for my daugh… my son, Edward. I promised to bring him back music paper from my journey!"
Emmett coughed into his hand said, "Tool!"
Reneesme showed him a question mark.
Emmett shook his head and continued reading:
"The Beast dropped the paw it had clamped on the unhappy merchant.
"I shall spare your life, but on one condition, that you bring me your son!"
The terror-stricken merchant, faced with certain death if he did not obey, promised that he would do so.
When he reached home in tears, his three sons ran to greet him. After he had told them of his dreadful adventure,
Edward put his mind at rest immediately.
"Dear father, I'd do anything for you! Don't worry, you'll be able to keep your promise and save your life!"
Emmett made a gagging gesture. This may be worse than Romeo and Juliet…
"Take me to the castle. I'll stay there in your place!"
The merchant hugged his daughter… uh, his son.
"I never did doubt your love for me. For the moment I can only thank you for saving my life."
So Beauty—Edward--was led to the castle. The Beast, however, had quite an unexpected greeting for the girl-y boy."
Reneesme gave Emmett THE DEATH STARE. She showed Edward cradling and rocking her as an infant: that's my father!
"I'm sorry Ness, but you had to know that I would make fun of Eddie the second you decided he was Beauty."
She showed Emmett as one of the ugly step-sisters from Cinderella.
"Do you want me to finish the story or can I go out and wash my Jeep now?"
Reneesme made a go-on gesture with her hand.
"Instead of menacing doom as it had done with his father, it was surprisingly pleasant.
In the beginning, Beauty was frightened of the Beast, and shuddered at the sight of it.
Then he found that, in spite of the monster's awful head, his horror of it was gradually fading as time went by.
He had one of the finest rooms in the Castle, and sat for hours, embroidering in front of the fire."
Emmett couldn't hold back the laughter.
The thought of Edward embroidering in front of the fire was too hilarious to ignore.
Reneesme showed Edward playing the piano instead.
"But Charlie doesn't own a piano!" Emmett kept laughing.
She showed him the image of Edward playing the piano over and over, but all Emmett could see was his own mental image
of Edward embroidering as Jacob, in wolf form, sat next to him.
Reneesme snapped shut the book and slid down off Emmett's lap, stomping out of the room.
A few seconds later, Rosalie was walking into the family room carrying a pouting Reneesme.
"Emmett, what did you do?" Rosalie asked, giving him THE DEATH STARE.
"It's her own fault! She made Edward Beauty." Emmett started laughing uncontrollably.
"Show me what the stupid man is talking about, baby."
Reneesme rested her hand against Rosalie's cheek and showed Rosalie her version of Beauty and the Beast.
"Well, that's different," Rosalie murmured.
Emmett leaned back into the sofa and planted his feet on the coffee table. "So, who's The Beast then?"
"She doesn't want me to tell you. She said you have to finish the story if you want to know."
Ensnared by my own curiosity… once again… Emmett held out his arms and Rosalie handed Reneesme over to him.
He opened the book and quickly found where he had left off:
"And the Beast would sit, for hours on end, only a short distance away, silently gazing at her."
Emmett's shoulder's shook as the image of Edward embroidering in front of the fire with Wolfy Jake sitting next to him filled his mind.
"I'm sorry…just give me a minute," Emmett told Reneesme as he tried to contain his laughter.
He cleared his throat: "Then it started to say a few kind words, till in the end, Edward was amazed to discover that he was actually enjoying its conversation.
The days passed, and Edward and the Beast became good friends. Then one day, the Beast asked the boy to be his wife."
A look of disgust crossed Emmett's face. "Why is Edward Beauty instead of Bella?"
She showed him the bathroom scale and the yield sign and an eye: wait and see.
"Taken by surprise, Edward did not know what to say. Marry such an ugly monster? He would rather die!"
Emmett snickered. Too late, the flu already gotcha!
"But he did not want to hurt the feelings of one who, after all, had been kind to him. And he remembered too that he owed it his own life as well as his father's.
"I really can't say yes," he began shakily. "I'd so much like to..." The Beast interrupted him with an abrupt gesture.
"I quite understand! And I'm not offended by your refusal!"
Life went on as usual, and nothing further was said.
One day, the Beast presented Edward with a magnificent magic mirror.
When Edward peeped into it, he could see his family, far away.
"You won't feel so lonely now," were the words that accompanied the gift.
Edward stared for hours at his distant family. Then he began to feel worried. One day, the Beast found him weeping beside the magic mirror.
"What's wrong?" it asked, kindly as always.
"My father is gravely ill and close to dying!"
Too late, a vampire took care of that!
"Oh, how I wish I could see him again, before it's too late!"
Didn't I already tell you… you're too late!
"But the Beast only shook its head. "No! You will never leave this castle!" And off it stalked in a rage.
However, a little later, it returned and spoke solemnly to the boy.
"If you swear that you will return here in seven days time, I'll let you go and visit your father!"
Edward threw himself at the Beast's feet in delight.
"I swear! I swear I will! How kind you are! You've made a loving son so happy!"
In reality, the merchant had fallen ill from a broken heart at knowing his son was being kept prisoner.
When he embraced him again, he was soon on the road to recovery.
Edward stayed beside him for hours on end, describing his life at the Castle and explaining that the Beast was really good and kind.
The days flashed past, and at last the merchant was able to leave his bed. He was completely well again.
Edward was happy at last. However, he had failed to notice that seven days had gone by.
Then one night he woke from a terrible nightmare."
Reneesme showed Emmett that Alice was showing Edward a vision.
"…the Beast was dying and calling for him, twisting in agony.
"Come back! Come back to me!" it was pleading. The solemn promise he had made drove him to leave home immediately.
"Hurry! Hurry, good horse!" he said, whipping his steed onwards towards the castle, afraid that he might arrive too late."
She showed Edward speeding toward Charlie's house in his Volvo.
"He rushed up the stairs, calling, but there was no reply. His heart sank, Edward ran into the garden and there crouched the Beast,
its eyes shut, as though dead. Edward threw himself at it and hugged it tightly.
"Don't die! Don't die! I'll marry you . . ."
At these words, a miracle took place. The Beast's ugly snout turned magically into the face of…"
Emmett looked down at Reneesme. "Well?"
She showed him Bella's face.
Emmett let out a whoosh of air. "I really thought it was going to be Jake."
Reneesme looked at him as if he'd lost his mind.
He gave her a sheepish look and said, "He kind of looks like a beast when he's in wolf form."
Reneesme shook her head and showed Emmett an image of a puppy frolicking; it's tongue was hanging out."
"You haven't seen Jake's and his dogs in action," he muttered.
"The wedding took place shortly after and, from that day on the young
And that's why, to this day, the castle is known as The Castle of Paper Roses.
Reneesme clapped her hands at the embellishments Emmett had added at the end. She kissed him on the cheek.
Emmett lifted Reneesme into his arms as he stood up and said, "Ready to help Uncle Em wash his Jeep?"
Reneesme wrinkled her nose and shook her head.
"I think it's only fair. I did read you a story after all."
Reneesme showed Emmett a clock, Alice, and a princess outfit: it was time for her to play with Alice.