A three-year old Naruto Uzumaki woke up under a foot of water. Blinking his wide innocent eyes multiple times, he looked around confusedly before water entered his lungs and he sat up, choking and splashing the walls around him. He coughed several times, looking around as he did so. Worried eyes searched the blank walls and the pipes running along the ceiling. Perhaps the caretakers had put him in the basement again? No, this place was not the basement, there was too much water on the ground for that.

"…H-home?"

His voice echoed down the corridor. His head snapped to the left as he heard a low sound in the echo in response. He shivered subconsiously; that sound reminded him of an approaching rain storm. He crawled to it none the less, wanting to get out of…wherever he was. He finally stopped by a giant door. Putting a small hand on it, he was surprised when the door swung open easily. His eyes were met with an odd sight: A gigantic room, with a large set of bars dividing the room in two. The other side of the bars was unusually dark, as if looking out a window from a well-lit room to the nighttime darkness.

"Kid…" A pair of giant red eyes opened, and the darkness slightly lightened, revealing a giant fox with nine tails grinning at him.

"Tell me," the fox rumbled, it's grin malicious and devious, "are you afraid?"

A silence met his ears, and he sweat dropped at the child below him. The toddler had one hand on his chin in a cute thinking pose, with his baby face screwed up in thought, as if trying to place something in his memory with the giant being in front of him.

Suddenly the baby's eyes lit up in delight, and it pointed a slightly chubby finger at the horrid beast.

"BUNNY RABBIT!"

"WHAAAAAAAT?!!!" Kyuubi bellowed in rage, "I'LL GIVE YOU BUNNY RABBIT YOU LITTLE-"

Naruto's face went from happy to frightened in a split second, evoking a pause from the mighty beast. The baby had a teary look in his eyes, and a tense silence filled the air.

"Oh shit."

"WAHHHHHHH!!!!" The sound of wailing filled the room, magnified a thousand fold by the echoes. The kyuubi stuffed two tails in his rabbit-like ears, trying to muffle out the sound. He had never heard this dreadful of a sound before, it made him want to either run away in terror or snap the child's neck. Kyuubi reached the breaking point.

"WHERE'S YOUR OFF BUTTON?!" the beast bellowed, shoving two tails through the bar and prodding the baby all over its body with them. The crying immediately stopped, and the tearful face was replaced by a giggling wet one.

"SOFT BUNNY RABBIT!" he screeched and gripped the fur on two of his tails. The beast snarled in frustration, trying to shake the infant off of his tails in wide swings. Finally the child let go, but was catapulted through the bars and onto the beast's nose.

Silence reigned. The beast had to be cross-eyed in order to stare at the child giggling on his snout. A loud snort echoed through the cavern.

"You know something," Kyuubi began with a sigh, anger forgotten for the moment, "I was going to have a long monologue on how you are my container and therefore you need to survive and shit, but you know what, I don't think you'd understand…or listen for that matter."

He touched a tail to the boys forehead and concentrated. A golden glow flowed down the tail and into the child, who laughed yet again, waving his arms through the golden light around him.

"You're going to piss off most of your opponents in the future," Kyuubi began, "because I just gave you-"

"BURP!"

"DAMN YOU FOR RUINING THE MOMENT!!" the beast screeched indignantly, and threw the child back into the land of the…awake(?) without finishing his sentence.

The next morning two caretakers decided to check on the demo- I mean Naruto. They opened the door to Naruto's dilapidated bedroom, only to see a wood plank levitating in the middle of the room with the child giggling and waving his arms around underneath it.

"YOU DEMON!" One of the caretakers screeched taking a step forward.

Naruto frowned immediately, and the plank shot forward, knocking out the caretaker with a loud slapping noise that would have been hilarious if not for the tension in the room. The other caretaker stared in fear at the little child as it pointed toward the unconscious caretaker, who had mini images of wood planks circling over his head.

"He was mean to me."

The patron of the orphanage would later describe the scream that happened next as "the fright of a little girl who just met Gai." Little did everyone know that the phrase would later be changed to "the fright of a little boy who just met Orochimaru."