Disclaimer: I don't own Sea Patrol

Any Excuse Will Do…
Spider. Bomber.
NB; takes place 1 ½ years in the future

If there was a list of things she'd done in her life and regretted, well, it would be a long one. How long Rebecca 'Bomber' Brown couldn't actually say, but long enough to make her stress. Thankfully though she hadn't created that list, and instead just sat in her cabin on the Hammersley, silently stressing about her latest error of judgement. Second-guessing herself wasn't something she did often, it was probably something she's resigned as being something her boyfriend did, but still she did it and it made her worry. What was she becoming? Who was she becoming? But as she sat staring at the e-mail she'd just received, she thought maybe this mistake was worth the stress. It was from her sister Jess, a country-girl at heart unlike Bomber who'd run as far and as fast as she could from her hometown of Mount Isa a long time ago. Jess, husband and baby in tow, was selling up the farm and moving to Cairns. Bomber gaped. But there was worse to come. In a week she was coming to inspect the house one last time and was wondering if it would be okay if she could come to port to visit and that she would love it if she could meet the man her 'dear big sister' spoke about far too often. Bomber froze. Jess wanted to meet her boyfriend? The concept of this man, although she was happy to share her stories with Jess, meeting the last of her family was a terrifying concept. Especially since it had only been two weeks, just two weeks ago, that she had actually started referring to him as such. It had felt somewhat strange, before then, even though she knew their relationship had gone to that level a long time ago. Still, on a tiny little ship like the Hammersley, it was probably better that they didn't refer to it in such a way. On the ship they were mates, friends and crewmates. Just two in a team. Able Seaman Rebecca 'Bomber' Brown, Chef, and Able Seaman Billy 'Spider' Webb, Bosun's Mate. Both part of the boarding party, both working under the guidance of Pete 'Buffer' Tomaszewski, a man they both admired, and the youngest in the crew, average age of 23. As far as anyone on the ship needed to know, that was it. But now there was a problem, not so much on the ship but off it. Spider, meet her sister? The concept of Spider ever meeting the family hadn't even crossed Bomber's mind, she didn't think what they had was anywhere that serious. Yet. There was still that little word that haunted her. But now Jess wanted to meet 'this man in your life' as she'd called him, and Bomber, the rational one in the relationship, was stuck for a way to get out of it. Unless… She went to find Spider.

She found him in the mess, eating the shelf peanuts and staring at the TV that was now blaring the news. He heard someone enter and glanced up, giving Bomber a small smile. He turned back to the TV, engrossed in a tacky report about a juggling monkey. Bomber scoffed at it and he gave her a frown. "This is actually very entertaining, I'll have you know. Bobo is a wild monkey." He explained.

Bomber just raised her eyebrows, no longer shocked by Spider's ability to know exactly what she was thinking. They'd always been like that. It was a comforting but also terrifying thought. Any kind of mental connection with Spider made Bomber restless with worry that her brain could one day melt into amusement at juggling monkeys. She laughed softly to herself and Spider looked up from the TV. "You're laughing at me again, aren't you?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at her jokingly.

Bomber just smothered a smile and shook her head. "Would I do that?" She replied. He gave her a small pout but said nothing so Bomber continued. "You shouldn't eat all those peanuts, you'll give yourself a stomach ache."

Spider just shrugged and put another small handful in his mouth, chewing with his mouth slightly open. Bomber shielded her eyes and turned away. "Oh, you're disgusting." She exclaimed, still refusing to look at him.

She heard Spider laugh. "You love it." He joked. Bomber shook her head. It was true though. These little things were what made up Spider, and while she valued him she valued them too. She heard him pat the seat beside him. "Come, sit, I promise to share the peanuts." He teased.

Bomber just laughed before turning back and finding him giving her one of his stupid grins. Shaking her head she joined him at the table, taking a seat across from him rather than next to him as he'd suggested. He gave her a blank look at this but then smiled, pushing the peanut tin towards her. She took them, put the lid back on, and sat on them. "This is for your own good." She explained.

Spider feigned looking disappointed, his acting worse than his obsession with peanuts, and then gave a cheeky smile. "Don't make me come over there and take them back." He raised his eyebrows mockingly.

Bomber pretended to look sick at the concept and put the peanuts back on the table. Spider sighed and shook his head, finally genuinely looking disappointed. "Oh what?" He pushed them back towards her. "I don't want them anymore."

Bomber laughed and put them on the bench behind her, turning back to see Spider watching her. She gave him a small smile and he tipped his head. "I'm guessing you didn't just come here to abuse me." He stated.

Bomber rolled her eyes. "No, my entire existence is about finding the perfect moment to make you depressed." She said sarcastically.

Spider nodded slowly, like he believed it, and Bomber just tipped her head slightly, scoffing at him. He just grinned back at her. "Actually…" Bomber continued, more slowly. Spider's face went blank again as he listened and Bomber felt a little put-off by how much attention he was giving her. Were it up to her she'd skip over the whole conversation in a matter of seconds. But the didn't seem to be likely. "I was wondering, seeing as it's shore leave next week, what you had planned."

Spider stuck out his bottom lip, shaking his head, clearly trying to remember if he'd planned anything. "Nothing, really. I planned a few beers with my brother but that's it."

Bomber made to stand up. "Well, if you have plans…" But Spider reached across the table and grabbed her arm, pulling her back into her seats. He chuckled at her.

"A few beers with Rick isn't exactly 'plans'. Unless you're implying I'm some sort of alcoholic?" He gave her a cheeky smile and a look out of the corner of his eye, but Bomber didn't notice. Dammit, there went her excuse. "Why? Already desperate to get away from me?"

Bomber shook her head. Of course not. She was desperate to get away from Jessica. "No, it's just, my sister is moving and wants to see me."

Spider frowned. "Well, why didn't you just say so? Does she need some help moving things?" He asked.

Bomber wasn't surprised at all by how quickly Spider had offered to help her sister, it was in his nature, but it didn't help her campaign to avoid asking him this very embaressing question. "No, she's not moving yet. Actually she's coming to town and was hoping to… uh, meet you." She said the last bit very quickly, causing Spider to chuckle again, but it seemed he'd figure out what she'd said anyway.

"That's what this is about? You've already got me lined up for 'meet the family'. Great!" He joked, but Bomber didn't take it as such.

"Look, really, it's stupid. I'll just tell Jess that…" But Spider cut her off again.

"Bec, you really don't want to do this do you?" He said. Bomber looked at the table. Spider smiled. "Am I really that embarrassing?" He joked again. Bomber looked up at him, serious, and the next joke on Spider's lips fell. "I'll happily meet your sister. Seems only fair seeing as I've already had Rick abuse you and Gem just put you in more than one awkward position – I think I owe you."

Bomber shook her head. "No, really, it's all stupid. I'm sorry I ever brought it up." She made to stand up again but again Spider stopped, grabbing her arm across the table. She looked back at the table but, when Spider's hand left hers, she looked up to see he'd joined her on her side of the table, shoving her across slightly so he could sit down.

"How often will we have to go through the family thing. I know enough to not be scared of your sister. We both have enough family issues to worry about ourselves without making it another burden for us." He pointed out, making complete sense probably for the first time in his life. "Your problems with your mother; we solved that didn't we? My overbearing brother, we solved that. And Gemma adores you, mentions you every time I talk to her. I think she's just making sure I don't let you get away. So why do you think there will be a problem with Jessica? If she's even half as awesome as you and I'll sure I'll like her." He placed a hand softly on the back of Bomber's neck and pulled her to him, kissing her forehead. "Now, stop being an idiot and tell your sister we'll see her next Tuesday." He added, his usual tone returning.

Bomber laughed and looked up at him. "Thank you."

Spider just stood up, grabbing the peanuts and turning off the TV. He glanced back at her. "Don't thank me. Thank you. Finally I'm the rational one in this relationship." And with a superior smirk he left the room. Watching him go Bomber just shook her head. It was a bad day when Spider started making sense. And, with that comforting thought in mind, she went to e-mail her sister.