Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, and supported my previous stories! This is a shorter (3-chapter) story that deals with the infamous "ProFlynnza" dynamic while also dealing with the Shandy relationship and a bit of case stuff. As always, I welcome your feedback!
I do not own Major Crimes or any of the fabulous characters. That honor belongs to James Duff and co. I just enjoy writing about them.
Chapter One
"Hey, Provenza, do you remember the time Watts came in and caught us playing that whoopee cushion prank on Stevens? I thought he was going to blow a gasket," Retired Detective Simmons bellowed from the back seat of Andy's car. Both the former detective and Provenza erupted into laugher. Andy rolled his eyes for, what felt like, the millionth time that night. As the other two men digressed into ridiculous memory after ridiculous memory, Andy sat with a scowl on his face wondering how he got himself into this situation.
Simmons was in town for a few days and wanted to spend some "quality" time with his old buddy Provenza. Since neither man could manage to spend their "quality" time sober, Andy got roped into playing chauffeur and, at times, babysitter. Simmons was long-divorced and an even bigger womanizer than Andy and Provenza had been at the height of their single days. They had already found themselves kicked out of one bar and were on their way to another one. It didn't seem to matter to either of his companions that Andy had had plans with Sharon tonight. They were supposed to go to dinner, but she insisted that he be there for his best friend instead. In fact, Sharon was the only reason he was even out with the pair.
As they pulled into the parking lot of the second bar, Andy noticed a new strip club that had opened a few doors down from it. Just great, he thought. There was absolutely no way he was going in there. His backseat passenger noticed it right away.
"Flynn, my man, you did good," Simmons said as he got out of the car and patted Andy on the back.
"We're going in there," Andy corrected the other man, indicating the bar in front of them.
"Nonsense! I'm going in there," the other man declared, pointing at the strip club. Andy looked over at Provenza who simply shrugged. Andy gave him an exasperated expression.
"There's absolutely no way we're going in there," Andy stated.
The three men entered the strip club and found an empty table. Provenza and Simmons ordered drinks, but Andy waved the waitress off. While the two men enjoyed the view of a naked woman gyrating on a pole in front of them, Andy sat and sulked. He was about two seconds away from leaving the two idiots to fend for themselves when Simmons turned around and faced him.
"What's eating you, Flynn? I figured this place would be right up your alley," he asked with a laugh. Andy looked heavenward.
"Not my scene anymore," he answered annoyed. Realization dawned on Simmons.
"Oh, right, the girlfriend," he said. "She's definitely a ball buster," he added with a laugh.
"She's the only reason I'm out here tonight with you two idiots," Andy spit out. Simmons looked surprised. "I had plans with her, but she told me to go with you two instead," he added. Simmons laughed out loud and made a whipping sound. Andy just rolled his eyes.
As a new dancer took the stage, Andy got up to leave. He had had enough.
"Where you going, Flynn? I just paid the waitress for a lap dance. She said she'd do all three of us," Simmons called out.
"Home," he replied simply. Provenza turned around with an annoyed expression on his face.
"You can't go home. You're our ride," he declared incredulously.
"Yeah, well, call an Uber," Andy replied. Provenza stood up and faced his partner.
"I don't even know what 'an Uber' is!" He exclaimed. Flynn rolled his eyes.
"Then call a taxi," he said before beginning to walk away.
"I don't have any money with me," Provenza called out. Andy stopped in his tracks. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He turned around and walked back to the table where a very drunk Simmons was already enjoying his lap dance. He looked at Provenza who was looking at him like he was the one in the wrong. He simply shook his head.
"I'll be in the car," he declared before turning and leaving the club. He had barely gotten in his car when he glanced over at his side view mirror and saw a frantic Provenza running, well walking briskly anyway, towards him. He let out a sigh. He really needed to evaluate his friendship with the old man, he decided. He rolled down his window.
"Flynn! Flynn!" Provenza yelled as he approached the driver side door.
"What now? Simmons run out of dollar bills?" He deadpanned, annoyed.
"No, you idiot! Simmons is dead!" Provenza exclaimed.
"What do you mean 'dead'?" Andy asked, shock taking over.
"What the hell do you think I mean? He's dead!" Provenza replied in frustration. Andy's eyes scanned his partner.
"Are you sure? How?" He managed to vocalize while his mind raced.
"I don't know! One minute he was enjoying a lap dance, and the other he was slumped over, not breathing," Provenza replied, exasperated. Andy opened his car door and exited the vehicle. He began walking back towards the club.
"Can this night get any worse!" He exclaimed in anger, shaking his head.
Sharon Raydor stepped out of her car in her dark blue trench coat and heels. She approached the scene and ducked under the yellow crime scene tape as she made her way into the "Sweet Temptations" establishment. As she entered the building, she was immediately greeted by her lieutenant.
"Hey, Captain. I'm not really sure why Provenza called you. The old bastard probably just died from a heart attack," Andy said casually, guilty smile in place. She looked at him, lips pursed. "I mean, it happens to men his age in... uh... situations like this. There was a lot of excitement," he added as they approached the body and a sobering Provenza. Sharon just glared at him with narrowed eyes before turning to her second in command.
"It was not a heart attack! How many heart attacks have you seen where the person foams at the mouth?!" Provenza exclaimed. Andy shrugged.
"Well, he did drink a lot of beer," he replied. Both Sharon and Provenza turned to glare at him.
"Did anyone witness his death, other than the two of you?" She asked glancing from one to the other.
"Actually, Captain, I didn't-" Andy started, but was quickly interrupted by Sharon.
"Not now, Andy," she warned. He retreated.
"Well, there was the young lady who was in the middle of giving him a lap dance. She did have a front row seat," Provenza offered as Andy rolled his eyes. Sharon pursed her lips and avoided looking at Andy.
"And where is this young lady now?" She asked.
"Julio is talking to her," Provenza replied, motioning in the detective's direction. Sharon noticed the wide smile on her detective's face and shook her head dismissively.
"Uh, Captain," Kendall suddenly interjected. "I have to concur with the lieutenant. This man did not die from a heart attack," he concluded. Andy looked heavenward while Provenza made a satisfied expression.
"What did he die from then?" She asked. Kendall shook his head.
"I'm not sure, but it's definitely suspicious," he explained. Sharon shifted her gaze to her senior lieutenants.
"Ok, both of you, out!" She ordered. They both began to protest. Sharon shook her head. "No, you're both off this case until you've been cleared by FID," she added. Their protests increased.
"Captain? Have you lost your mind? Flynn and I had nothing to do with Simmons's death," Provenza insisted.
"We have to follow proper procedure here to make sure that neither of you get blamed for it then. Now, both of you, off to FID," she shooed them, but Provenza, in his still drunken state, wasn't having it.
"I most certainly will not!" He declared.
Five minutes later, the pair found themselves in the back of a patrol car on their way to the PAB. Provenza sat with his arms crossed looking out the window while Andy kept his eyes forward, focused on the cage separating them from the young patrol officer "escorting" them downtown.
"Are you happy now, you idiot?" Andy asked his partner without turning to face him. "Couldn't just get in the car and let me drive us," he added shaking his head.
"It was the principle of it!" Provenza insisted. The young patrol office struggled to keep a straight face in the front seat.
"Oh, because riding in the back of a patrol car is soooo much better!" Andy replied, raising his voice.
"You're the one who took us to a strip club!" Provenza bit back. Andy finally turned to face his partner, eyebrows raised in anger.
"I'm the one who didn't want to go! You just went along with Simmons! Big surprise!" Andy shouted. The patrol office had to fight by to keep his laughter at bay.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Provenza asked incredulously.
"Just that every time you hang out with that asshole, you turn into one, too," Andy bit back. Provenza sobered for a moment.
"Well, we don't need to worry about that again, now do we," Provenza said seriously. Both men seemed to quiet at that realization. Andy looked over at his friend.
"I'm sorry. I know you liked the bastard," he said quietly.
"Yeah, we had some good times," Provenza replied lost in thought. "But if he was going to go, this is how he would have wanted it," he added with a sad smile.
"Yeah," Andy added with a knowing nod. The rest of the ride to the PAB was relatively quiet.
Sharon stood in the exam room of the morgue with her blue gown and mask in place. Normally, she would have been accompanied by one of her senior lieutenants, but that wasn't exactly feasible at the moment. The rest of her team was busy at the crime scene, so it was just her and her favorite snarky medical examiner.
"Well, it definitely wasn't a heart attack," Dr. Morales said suddenly.
"What then?" She asked a bit impatiently.
"I'd say some sort of toxin, but I won't know which one until the toxicology report comes back," he explained.
"He was poisoned?" Sharon asked, a bit taken back.
"Looks that way, but like I said, I won't know anything for sure until I get that report," he repeated.
"So, that's it?" She asked disappointed.
"Well, he was having a good time when he died," Morales said indicating a certain part of the victim's lower anatomy with a mischievous quirk of his eyebrow. Sharon rolled her eyes.
"Thank you, Doctor. Please let me know the minute you know something," she said leaving the exam room.
"Will do, Captain," he called after her.
After Sharon had removed her blue gown and mask, she made her way back to the murder room. The squad was starting to file in. As Mike and Julio set up the murder board, Andy and Provenza came walking in with a member of FID. Both lieutenants looked liked chastised school boys returning from the principal's office.
"Captain, I believe these two belong to you," the detective from FID greeted his former boss. Sharon looked at her senior lieutenants before returning her gaze to the detective.
"Have they been cleared?" She asked.
"Not officially, but I feel confident in saying that neither of them had anything to do with your suspicious death," he explained. She nodded.
"Thank you," she stated simply before turning to her lieutenants. "You're both sidelined during this case until you've been officially cleared. Have a seat. We're going to need to interview you as witnesses," she explained as the detective from FID left the murder room. Andy and Provenza walked over to their respective desks and took a seat without protest. It had been a long night. And it was about to get even longer.
TBC