Summary:There she slept my angel.Peaceful she was but not for long, not after she heard what I had to say.She would hate me, I knew, but she would be safe.That's what was important.My, angel.My, love...My, Bella?- song-fic, one shot EPOV some DOC. Vampires included!!- What happened the night before Edward told Bella he was leaving.This is his struggle of how he dealt with it and how no matter what he would love hisBella forever, whether she knew it or not.These are the lyrics to his lullaby that he sings to her for the last time.
Disclaimer:Sadly neither of these belong to me.The song belongs to Bill Joel(in all his genius) and co. and the characters and basic plot belong to the lovely, the fabulous...MISS STEPHENIE MEYER!! I bow down to your greatness...not really since I'm sitting but metaphorically I do!! -bows awkwardly while sitting down-.
Her peaceful, beautiful face took my breathe away every time I saw her sleeping; even if that wasn't possible for a vampire.Her beauty astounded me, always surprising me.I have to leave her, I have to.I love her too much to stay.She says she loves me now, but after tomorrow that will change.She'll hate me forever and that's the way should be.She'll move on better that way.
I took in a deep silent breathe as my Bella started to mummer my name in her sleep.She knew something was wrong as I continued to avoid her.I could no longer look in her eyes and face seeing the worry and questions in her eyes.It would break my resolve so quickly and I couldn't let that happen.
That's why, lately, this was my favorite part of the day.When the angel before me so trusting and sweet would close her eyes and I would no longer have an excuse to keep up the hard facade I used all day.She slept while I hummed that lullaby I made for her so long ago.Now the new bittersweet words popped into my head without warning and I sang them quietly to my sleeping love.
Goodnight , my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away
I may say that in this song, but I knew if Bella were ever to be able to move on me and my family would have to be very very far away.I could never be near my love again, and that thought hurt more than a thousand vampire changes.But that didn't matter because no matter how far away I was she would always be mine and I would always be hers.I knew she doubted my love for her but she had no need to for my dead heart would always be hers.
"Edward I...love you." Bella sighed, not realizing the pain it brought me to hear those three little words knowing that they would never be heard by me again.My, angel had no idea what she did to me while she slept. Those little words she whispered to me in the night.My personal radio as hey changed with her variety of dreams.As she murmured to me I couldn't help but drift off into my on dream, still singing the new lyrics to her lullaby.
Goodnight, my angel
Now its time to sleep
And still so many thing I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang to me
When we went sailing on an emerald sea
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be apart of me
She would and always will.Nothing could deter my love for Bella, despite what I might say tomorrow.I'll be impossible to live with, I know.I will have to leave them soon there is no reason for them to suffer with me.
I listened for a moment to Bella's steady heart beat, so in tune I was to it now.Her sweet breathe fanned across my face momentarily stunning me, and she accused meof dazzling people.This beautiful, modest, stubborn, and amazing girl who captured me completely.
Bella, my love.I won't survive without you.But you must live without me, I'll make sure of it.You will move on and live a full life.I will be only a distant memory and you will only think of me briefly.You must because I cannot live with knowing you are unhappy.Someday, you'll be married and have children but I will always love you.
Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me
I would cry if I could, as I thought of my Bella being with any other man.It would be my own doing, but it didn't hurt any less.She would finally be able to live a human life.I chuckled as I remember how Bella fought with me at keeping her human.But my laughter soon faded as I couldn't stop an image of Bella as a vampire from interring in my head.
She would be beautiful, of course.She would be my whole universe.I would no longer have to be cautious, to be passionate with her without being afraid that I would hurt her. I could show her everything about the vampire life and I wouldn't be scared that she'd run away from me.Bella would be mine...forever.
Someday we'll all be gone
But lullaby's go on and on...
They never die
That's how you
And I
Will be
I was close to breaking down.In just a few short hours I'd have to leave my angel forever.No more would I watch as she would turn her entire being to focus on one thing and never get to be the thing she focused on again.No more could I see that lovely, intoxicating blush flash across her face her face when she became embarrassed.I'd never get to see that flash of intuition in her eyes when she saw through my pretences.I could no longer kiss those supple lips or run my fingers through her silky smooth hair.Stare into those big, brown eyes.NO more would I feel the pleasure I got from when she said my name in that alluring voi-...
"Edward?," My goodess said groggily, sleep clouring her voice making it more sultry, if possible.My eyes whipped open and I looked down to see her starring up at me worridly,"Is something wrong, Edward?Why do you look that way?"
"It's nothing, love." I told her soothingly, quite hard when my voice was husky with pain."Go back to sleep." I told her as I continued to sing her the new lullaby, and watched as her eyelids drooped down again.
"Edward..."My love sang to me.
"Goodnight, my angel."
A/N:So that's that. I'm finished with my first realfan fic.Yeah yeah i know it sucks.Could you tell me how much??Review please!!You know you want toooo!!
P.s. if you want to hear the actual song the link is in my profile!!
love ya!!
ALI