Oh look, first 'fic on my new account. Yay.
Something I whipped up quickly for White Day because I got attacked by plotbunnies.
Short attempt at being funny. xP
Shizuo's memories were so fuzzy when he finally came to that he couldn't remember if someone had knocked him out, or if he'd merely fallen asleep on his own out of sheer exhaustion.
He better have been knocked out, because if the flea(as this had his work written all. over. it.) had actually managed to sneak up on him while he was merely asleep, he would never stop mentally kicking himself for allowing it to happen.
The first thing he noticed when he opened his eyes were the blinding lights of Ikebukuro at night. After all the time he'd spent in Ikebukuro he was more than used to the sight, but in his current, groggy state it was not exactly the most pleasant thing for him to wake up to.
He seemed to be tied tightly to something, and that something was extremely cold and was making a soft humming noise. Squinting, he looked down at himself to assess his current situation. For one, his restraints looked suspiciously like the types of bright-colored ribbons you'd use to wrap up a present, and if there had been any doubt in his mind he was indeed tied up by ribbons, it vanished immediately when he noticed the neatly tied bow. Over his crotch. And as for what that mysterious something he was currently bound to was?
A vending machine.
" Ah! You're finally awake, Shizu-chan! I was starting to get bored of waiting for you," Shizuo knew that smug, sing-song voice anywhere.
Izaya Orihara, or as he prefered to call him, "the flea."
The flea who was now sauntering over to hover in front of him.
" Happy White Day!" Izaya smirked," I hope this is a sufficient present, I was oh so torn over what to do for you."
"...White Day?" Shizuo, still not quite with it, stared blankly at the man in front of him.
" Why, you don't remember? Shizu-chan, I'm hurt. Very hurt.," he put his hand over his heart dramatically to stress how very hurt he was," On Valentines Day, you threw a road sign at me? Such a kind gesture of you, really. Well, it's my obligation to return the favor, isn't it?" He grabbed Shizuo's chin and tilted it up as if he were planning on kissing him, knife in hand and dangerously close to Shizuo's flesh. The cruel, satisfied smirk on his face grew wider,"I spent all month thinking long and hard on what to do for you, because it's pretty damn hard to top a traffic sign. You're really too kind, you know that? I think I managed to do well enough, though. Hopefully, you'll agree with me? You seemed pretty fond of these things, but I wasn't entirely sure."
Izaya's smug expression faded from his face for a moment as he heard fabric beginning to rip accompanied by Shizuo's angry roar of," IIIIZAAAAAYAAAAAAA!"
His smile returning to him, Izaya ran as fast as his legs could take him, cackling and making sure to watch out for the vending machine that would surely come flying towards him any second.
Shizu-chan really was quite rude, being so ungrateful as to return the present Izaya had worked so hard to give him.