AN: This won't be incredibly graphic or anything, but I felt that the subject matter was kind of… well, you get the idea. It's intended for more of an adult audience, so I hope you won't be grossed out or anything. If you really think that I need to change the rating to 'M', just lemme know in the reviews.

Anyways, if you're here, I would suspect that you'd know what Jilly is by now if you've read the other stories on them lol, and honestly none of this will likely make any sense if you haven't seen it yet. It's supposed to take place during "Madness". But anyways, I hope you enjoy :)

And thanks to clemmyclue19 for the chapter idea! I told you I'd make something about it haha!

"Ugh… what a hell of a day…" Lilly whispers to herself, smiling slightly as the first thing that she sees is her nice, soft bed. It's beckoning for her to approach and just lose herself completely in its warm embrace – hell, she probably wouldn't care if the covers came to life and swallowed her whole at this point.

With lookout duty officially done for the day (at least for her shift), the last thing that she wants to worry about right now is whether or not the person taking over for her is doing a good enough job. Whether they're holding the gun correctly, whether they're able to spot the difference between a walker and a human from some one hundred yards away, whether they know what to do if a large group is approaching the community, whether…

Ha, not even five minutes later and she's already thinking about it!

Shaking her head, Lilly slides her leather jacket off and practically belly flops onto the mattress. In her mind, this would be Lilly's ideal way to die – laying in her bed, surrounded by the few friends that she actually cares about and just collapsing peacefully in her sleep. No pain, no suffering and most importantly, no walkers. She could die as if nothing was wrong with the world and just let all of the world's troubles just slip on by.

But of course, she's not likely to die anytime soon. Lilly's far too stubborn to let something like death slow her course.

The woman twists and turns on the bed, trying to find a comfortable spot but failing to do so. No matter what she tries to do, there's still this uncomfortable feeling up near her shoulders that she just can't get rid of. Did she bang her back on something earlier today? No, that can't be it… earlier Lilly was feeling remarkably chipper and fit for the first time in quite a while.

So if it's not an injury, then it has to be something else…

Flipping to the cool side of her pillow, Lilly hears something fall underneath the bed and land on the hardwood floor with a thump. Curiosity getting the better of her, Lilly gets onto all fours on the floor and swipes her hand underneath the dusty mattress; scrounging around blindly and trying her best not to sneeze uncontrollably. Curse these damn power outages! She can't see jack shit down here!

When her hand finally does hit something smooth, Lilly clutches the object between her fingers and pulls it back towards her. As expected, it's some kind of book, but the cover's been torn off and some of the pages are missing.

"The hell…?" she mumbles questioningly, turning the book over in her hands as she opens it up to the first page. "…Fifty Shades of Grey?" she reads aloud with widened eyes, almost immediately slamming the book down on the dresser-drawer nearby.

She's literally going to be sick to her stomach as a faint blush appears on her cheeks. God, why did she have to find that out of all things?! Fifty Fucking Shades of Grey?! It's practically the holy bible of forty-something year old desperate women everywhere! And that's putting it nicely!

Shuddering at the thought, Lilly huffs out an annoyed sigh and refuses to even make eye contact with the dastardly thing. How dare someone shove this under her pillow like this! Was it supposed to be some kind of stupid practical joke?! Because if it was, then in Lilly's mind it definitely wasn't funny!

…it couldn't have been Jane though, could it?

Biting her fingernails absentmindedly, Lilly starts to ponder the possibilities. Needless to say, with all of this Firefly business that's been going on, her and Jane's love life has been getting pretty stale lately. It's not like either of them can really help it – they both have jobs to do around here that demand most of their time and energy, and neither of them have really been able to pursue any funny business because of it. A peck on the cheek every once in a while is really the highlight of what they've been up to recently, and that's usually just as an afterthought before they head out and separate for most of the day.

So… Jane wants her to spice things up, perhaps? Well… she couldn't really be more obvious than leaving this underneath her pillow.

Besides, who else would be stupid enough to try something like this?

"…no. Fuck that," she refuses, folding her arms together and purposely staring at the opposite wall away from that god-awful reading material. Lilly, from what she's heard about it, has come to the conclusion that reading this book would be the same as dumping a bottle of acid onto your eyeballs and letting it eviscerate you. She wasn't a heavy reader to begin with, but forcing herself to read mushy, romantic garbage would literally be the worst form of torture that she could possibly imagine.

…but what if it isn't? What if Fifty Shades of Grey isn't as mind-numbingly pathetic and as dangerous to your physical health as people told her? Seriously, it's just a book; a challenge left by somebody in order to test her mental prowess!

Shutting her eyes and clenching her fist tightly, Lilly peeks with one eye re-opened at the cover, as if she's expecting it to explode all over the drawer. When nothing of the sort happens, her hand shakily goes out to reach it; pulling back a few times in self-doubt. If anybody saw her reading this, it'd be the literal end of her. There wouldn't be enough locked rooms in the entirety of the Houston Space Centre for her to hide from the teasing, laughing and pointed fingers of the rest of the group members. She'd be forever known as Lilly: the woman who's into the weirdest shit imaginable.

Taking a deep breath, Lilly reluctantly grabs the book and practically rips it open to the first page. She keeps it close to her stomach so that she can bury it quickly under the covers if anybody happens to pop into her room, despite her and Jane expressly telling the others that nobody is allowed inside without their express permission.

Here goes nothing, she mulls to herself. Chapter one: Prologue…

Hiding the novel inside of her jacket, Lilly pokes her head through the door and out into the hallway to check if the coast is clear. With dark circles under her eyes, her left eye twitches from the lack of sleep from the past two days. She can't believe the turn of events – going from cowering from the book like a live grenade to never leaving anywhere without it. The girl can't even think straight without reading at least one or two or five chapters a day. Yeah, closer to five.

Once she realizes that nobody's out here, and the only sound she can hear is Jane's soft snoring coming back from her room, Lilly quietly shuts the door behind her and makes a beeline for the stairs that lead up to the roof. It should be early enough that nobody but Tommy will actually be awake at this ungodly hour, and he's always down on the first floor preoccupying himself with something to do.

The wind whistles past her hair as she takes her position in the foldable lawn chair that's stationed near the edge of the roof. She's the watcher on the wall up here – the first line of defense for the space centre group and ultimately their best shot with a gun.

So, naturally, she immediately places the sniper rifle down on the ground and pulls out the book. Priorities here, people. Priorities.

Licking her fingertip once, she flips through the pages until she finds the one that she left off with. And so she begins to read once again…

Before I know it, he's got both of my hands in his vicelike grip above my head, and he's pinning me to the wall using his lips… His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine… My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance… His erection is against my belly…

"I can't, I can't, I can't!" Lilly remarks in complete embarrassment, feeling her face fire up like a stove as she nearly drops the book onto her lap. The sad thing is that she skimmed ahead yesterday in curiosity, and this isn't even the most graphic part of the book! There are sequences inside that make that last line seem tame by comparison!

But she literally can't help but want to continue on this… this… sexual adventure that she's embarked on, despite feeling absolutely ashamed that she was actually getting hooked on the material by the second chapter.

It's literally become a drug that she can't shake off; almost a disease with how infected she's become.

Wanting to take her mind off of it for a little while, Lilly grazes her fingers over the sniper rifle and tries to get rid of the shaky breaths that are erupting inside of her chest. Shooting things has always been disturbingly therapeutic for the thirty-seven year old, especially ever since that time back at Tracy's camp. That feeling of complete helplessness was definitely not something that she'd like to experience again.

Spotting something out in the distance, Lilly adjusts the scope of the weapon a little bit to get a better idea of what (or whom) that might be. She's got half a mind just to shoot the thing and be done with it, but her breath catches in her throat when she sees that it's Jane of all people going out for a brisk walk on this remarkably chilly morning.

What the fuck is she doing out there?! Lilly could've sworn that she was just inside resting a little while ago!

As her mind trails to some of what's been done in the book, Lilly blushes furiously and sets the gun back down; rubbing her head in a desperate attempt to get these conflicting thoughts out of her mind.

"Oh my god… what the fuck is wrong with me?!" she remarks, pinching the bridge of her nose as she sheepishly waves to her partner.

She shouldn't be feeling this humiliated though, right? After all, wasn't it Jane herself that had planted the book underneath her pillow in the first place? Sure, neither of them have said a word to each other about it, but surely Jane would understand!

Figuring that she might just need to loosen up a little bit, Lilly picks up the book again and flips to the next page. All the while, a very unusual and crazy idea starts to form in her head.

"You want flare?" she whispers on the wind. "Alright then, Jane. Two can play at that game…"

"I'm hitting the hay. I'll talk to you tomorrow though, alright?" Jane bids goodnight, watching as Ellie skips along the hallway with a small smirk. Somehow, probably in a similar fashion as Clementine, Ellie somehow managed to sneak her way into Jane's good graces. There's just something about her that makes Jane want to stick around instead of abandoning her like Sarah or Jaime… those two still sting a little bit even after all this time.

But needless to say, the woman's grown and changed a lot since then. She's unwilling to try and save everyone's hide because, let's face it – not everyone is actually capable of living out in a shitty world like this. But for those that she really cares about, Jane would likely go to the ends of the Earth to make sure that they're safe.

Thinking that Lilly's more than likely asleep at this point, she unlocks the door to the room that they share and steps inside.

Jane nearly collapses when she sees what's going on.

"…what the… fuck?" she questions, her voice barely above a whisper as her eyes widen and she holds herself up against the wall. Lilly immediately turned around when she heard Jane waltz in, and even she seems to realize that she's been caught red-handed and tightly strapped to one side of the bed frame.

Her wrist hurts, but she can't feel any pain. Only complete shock and horror as she watches Jane engage in a staring contest with her.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Jane exclaims a little louder, marching over to Lilly as she glances at the little setup that she's created. There are straps on all four of the poles, an old blindfold resting in Lilly's hand, and… rope. Lots of rope. "Lilly! Wh-what the hell is going on here?!"

"…umm…" she mumbles sheepishly, her face beating up like a tomato for about the billionth time this week, "…surprise?"

Once the initial shock wears off, Jane actually starts giggling as she holds up some kind of small whip-like device from the dresser drawer. "Oh my god… Hahaha! Lilly, what the fuck were you going to use this for?! And everything, just… geez, I don't even know where to begin with this!"

"But… the book!" Lilly remarks quickly, untying herself as she opens up the drawer and pulls out the thing that started all of this… whatever this is. "I thought you wanted us to spice things up a little bit, and then I read this and… Gah! Didn't you plant this under my pillow?!"

As she shakes her head, Lilly slowly sits on the edge of the bed and buries her face in her hands. Right now, she'd probably be very inclined to let that peaceful death come to her as soon as possible; wanting it to be quick instead of dragged out like this is turning out to be. Did she just read the signs wrong? Was she really reading too much into this sort of thing?

"I feel like such a fucking idiot…" she mumbles through her hands, swatting away the rope as it falls onto the floor. Feeling the bed move as Jane sits down cautiously beside her, Lilly stares at her feet while refusing to make eye contact. "I just thought that… shit, I don't even know what I was thinking!"

"…are you having a mid-life crisis or something?" Jane jokes lamely, but chuckling a little bit as Lilly shrugs her shoulders.

"Certainly would explain a few things…" Lilly answers, her shoulders slumped as she rolls her head backwards a tiny fraction. 'I'm… damn it, I'm sorry, Jane… This is… Can we just please pretend that none of this ever happened?"

Smirking, Jane picks up the blindfold as she shakes her head in disbelief. "Deal," she agrees, much to the relief of Lilly as she visibly relaxes a little bit. "Where did you even find this stuff, anyways?"

Feeling a little hot under the collar, Lilly fumbles with the hem of her shirt as she mumbles something unintelligible.

"What was that?"

"There's… this store, deeper in the city… It's got all of these kinds of… things…" she stutters, practically begging Jane for her not to have to continue.

Choosing to try and get her mind on something else, Jane silently starts to unravel the various items and toss them deep into the corner; leaving them as a constant reminder for her of what transpired. For now, at least, that's where they're going to have to stay. There's no way that either of them are going back to that place in the middle of the night, not to mention how ridiculous it would seem.

Lilly makes a mental note to either burn the stuff or toss it down into the hole out in front of the space centre as soon as she can.

"I think we're gonna look back on this one day and laugh," Jane smirks, patting her shoulder in a comforting fashion. "Trust me, alright? There's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm… glad that you're thinking of me, at least."

Even though deep down she doesn't really believe that answer, Lilly nods appreciatively regardless and closes her eyes as Jane kisses her on the forehead. Blowing out the candle nearby, Lilly sighs deflatedly as she moves to her side and lays her head down on the pillow.

"Night, Lilly."

"Yeah…" she replies, getting more comfortable on her side of the bed. "Sweet dreams, Jane…"

As the two of them break off into a solemn quiet, both assuming that they're gonna prepare for a peaceful slumber, they both lay there with their eyes open. The thought of the other person caring for them so much has got them in tangles, and Jane especially can't ignore the soft, rumbling feeling inside of her stomach as she glances over at the corner of the room.

Despite being slightly perturbed at first, Jane actually can't help but feel flattered that Lilly would've actually gone through all of that embarrassment and overcome her confidence issues… just so she could make their relationship a little more interesting.

Rolling onto her other side, Jane practically tackles Lilly as the two of them make out like no tomorrow. Perhaps the book isn't quite as horrible as the two of them had predicted.

Neither of them suspect a thing as Clementine nods with content; having seen Jane walk into the room earlier.

I hope Lilly likes that book I gave her, she thinks to herself, nodding as she rubs her hands over the wall. Who knew there were fifty different shades of grey? Maybe Lilly would be able to find some of that paint in the department store downtown! Emily was right – this place definitely could use something with flavour!

She doesn't really understand, however, why they're making such a racket on the bed like that. They're gonna break the damn thing at this rate!

"Are they doing… kissing stuff?" she questions with a shudder. "Yuck… gross…"