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...
Goodbye, Third Street
June 2004
I adjust the crown on my hat, removing it for the first time in nearly a year. Today I'll symbolically hand the crown over and then the remainder of recess will be held under the new leader. While I didn't spend too much time on my actual throne, much more of a hands-on king than either King Bob or King Freddy were, it'll be weird to not spend recess at the top of Old Rusty.
Well, it'll be weird for more reasons than that.
My hat is discolored where the crown sat, a band of crown-shaped darker red decorating the weathered fabric of my cap. I guess that even though I won't have the crown on my head anymore, I'll still have some visible identification as a former king because of this.
The bed sinks with an added weight and I look up from my hat. I've been so engrossed that I didn't even notice Spinelli enter my room. Typically, I can hear my mother let her in and I hurry, pulling on a jacket or my hat as I rush down the stairs, trying not to keep her waiting. We usually end up late to school anyway, but she doesn't seem to mind. Today, though, I think my mom has noticed my lack of energy and it's probably why she sent Spin up to get me.
Today is our last day at Third Street School before we head on to middle school at Spiro T. Agnew in the fall. I've never been more conflicted about ending a school year as I am right now. Every other year, I can't wait for school to be over and summer vacation to start. But I don't want today to even start because I don't want it to end.
"You look a lot less excited than I thought you would," Spinelli says. She grins and gives my arm a light punch. "Come on, Teej! It's almost summer vacation. In a few hours, we'll be home free!"
As the leader of our group, I've always put on a brave face, which is what I do now. I re-attach the crown to my hat and place it on my head before putting on a smirk.
"I'm just going to miss being king," I say, hiding my nerves with the joke.
She rolls her eyes. "Oh, brother," she mumbles under her breath. She stands and crosses her arms. "I don't know who has a bigger ego anymore, you or Vince."
Vince. Definitely Vince.
I stand from my bed as well and look down at her. That's been another change. Spinelli and I have been the same height since kindergarten, with the one of us hitting our growth spurt first and the other catching up soon after. This year, I surpassed her like usual but then she never caught up. The top of her head now stops at my nose and our height difference is only becoming more pronounced as time passes. I suppose I knew this would happen eventually, especially when she broke her arm last year and the x-ray showed that her growth plate was almost closed. The doctor told her parents that she might get another two or three inches, which would bring her to about five-two or five-three. However, she definitely was not going to hit the five-six Galileo estimated back in fourth grade.
That was a bad day. Spinelli was upset, thinking that no one would take her seriously anymore if she wasn't tall – even though she's always been one of the shortest and always one of the most intimidating. But, no matter what I said in attempts to make her see reason, she was already on a rampage. Ms. Finster sent her to Room 51, even though her wrist was already casted and at no risk for more damage, because she was afraid of what the added plaster would do to Spin's victims. Gretchen, Vince, and Mikey spent that recess all dejected too. Gretchen because it meant her algorithm for Galileo was wrong, Vince because he was afraid his height estimation would be wrong too and he'd be too short for the NBA, and Mikey was afraid his height estimation was right after all and he'd end up a giant. Gus and I spent the first half of recess by ourselves before getting called to Room 51 by the Pale Kids. Spinelli was trying to climb out the window and they were too scared to stop her but also afraid she'd hurt herself.
I shake my head at the memory. Every single recess we've had has been an adventure and today is the last one.
"Come on, we're going to be late," I say.
"And you're actually concerned?" she teases back. "We hold the school record for tardies. I think Prickly might have a heart attack if the two of us actually showed up on time."
I grab my backpack off the floor and chuckle. "He'd probably think we were up to something."
"Aren't we always?"
I shrug. "Not today."
She frowns and I turn away before she can question it, heading down the stairs. My mom meets us at the front door. She's been feeling very sentimental since Becky's high school graduation ceremony a couple weeks ago. At the time I questioned why seniors got out of school two weeks before the rest of the school district, but now I'm glad for the last two weeks.
"You're growing up so fast," she coos, kissing my cheeks. I can hear Spin snickering behind us, as if she didn't just do the same thing with her mom twenty minutes ago.
"Mom, we're going to be late," I moan.
That gets her to let go of me. She takes another look at the two of us and sighs. "I'm going to blink and you're going to be seniors too."
She's probably right.
I use the chance to grab Spin's hand and yank her out the door with me, otherwise we'll really be late and I don't want to have to run to school today. I sort of want to savor this whole day, from walking with Spin to hanging out at recess with the rest of our gang.
"How come you're so jittery today?"
We're only a few doors down, but I realize that I'm still holding onto Spin's hand in a death grip. I drop it immediately and focus on kicking some pebbles on the sidewalk.
"I'm not," I insist.
I don't have to look to know she rolls her eyes at me.
"Teej, you're shaking. What's going on?" she demands.
I don't want to tell her. I don't want to tell any of them. I'm the leader of our group and so I'm not supposed to be the scared one. I have to be the one to know things are going to be okay and to make sure everything goes according to plan. But, I'm nervous things won't be okay. I've been friends with the same kids since kindergarten and I have no desire to change that, but Becky said something the other day that scared me. "Next year, you'll finally have clubs and sports and you and your little gang of losers will really get to explore your interests." She hadn't meant anything by it. I actually think she meant it as a good thing, some wise advice as graduation made her deliriously happy. But nonetheless it stuck with me in a negative way.
The other day, when Gus was terrified of middle school and the gang breaking up, I told him not to worry. We're best friends and we're always going to be best friends. What if that's not the case? What if, like Becky said, our new schedules and clubs and activities destroy us?
"Nothing," I tell her. She's not going to believe me. She's just going to get mad at me.
And she does. Sometimes I think I know Ashley Spinelli better than I know myself.
Spin crosses her arms and stops in front of me. Her brown eyes hold a fire to them that's typically reserved for the Ashleys or Randall or, really, anyone else who tries her patience. I've been on the opposing side of this look before, but rarely, and when I am I'm always taken aback.
"Spinelli, we're gonna be late," I say.
"I don't care," she says, with just enough attitude for me to know she won't budge.
I put my hands on her shoulders and look directly into her eyes. "Look, it's no big deal."
"It sure seems like it is," she grumbles. "You're not moving, are you?" I shake my head. "You're not going to private school next year?" I shake my head again. "Are your parents getting divorced?"
"Spin, listen to me, it's nothing like that," I say. I bite my lip and shake my head. "It's just something Becky said."
"Since when do you listen to Becky?" she asks, her eyebrow raised.
My sister and I could probably be found in the dictionary as the description of a love-hate relationship. Usually, it's more hate heavy than the other way around. Becky loves to tease me and I love to prank her, but rarely there are moments where we genuinely help each other out. Which is why I think it's bothering me so much. Becky does not give me advice often so when she does she's usually sincere.
"Forget about it," I mumble. I spin her around so she's facing the right direction and give her a gentle nudge to get her going again. "I'm stupid to listen to Becky, so just drop it."
She digs the heels of her boots into the sidewalk and doesn't get going, too stubborn to let me shake her off. So, instead of push her more, I let go of her shoulders and race passed her.
"Last one to school has to give Finster a sponge bath!" I shout over my shoulder.
"Hey, no fair! You got a head start!" I hear behind me.
I may be taller now and my legs may be longer but Spin will always be faster. She catches up easily and we're neck and neck when we reach the corner, matching each other's speed once we're in front of Third Street. Vince, Mikey, Gretchen, and Gus stand near the flagpole and Spin surges forward to try and beat me, so I grab her backpack, launching her backwards. She slams into my chest and we both end up in a heap on the grass.
"It's a tie," Gus says as the other four walks up to us.
"Only because Teej cheated," Spin grumbles.
Vince offers her a hand and helps lift her off me. She sticks her tongue out at me once she's standing. I take the hand Mikey extends and dust off my clothes, not responding to her. Now that we're on school property, that small reprieve I got from racing Spin is gone. The dread is back, bubbling uncomfortably in my stomach. Vince says something to make them all laugh, but I miss it. Mikey puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Are you alright, my friend?" he asks.
And, before Spin can jump on me again like she did earlier, I rub the back of my head. "Fine, just...slammed my head into the dirt."
"Karma at its finest," Spin says.
"Maybe we should head inside," Gus says as the warning bell rings.
Mr. Yamashiro doesn't have anything for us to do when we walk in the room. Our morning activities consist of cleaning out our desks and lockers before he puts on a movie for us to watch. Everyone else gets a kick out of being able to watch a NitWitz movie in school, but I just eye the clock. With every joke, the hand ticks closer and closer to ten. We'll go to recess, we'll come back in for an hour or so, and that'll be it. Elementary school will be over with a half-day of watching movies.
When the bell rings, I'm the last one out of my seat.
"Hey, Teej, come on," Vince says. "I can't wait to tell the others we got to watch NitWitz 3 in class!"
I nod and follow, Vince and Gretchen both exchanging quotes back and forth. This is the first year we all haven't been in the same class. At the end of the summer when class assignments went out, I begged my parents to complain to Prickly, but they didn't do anything. They said Prickly's idea of separating us three and three between the two sixth grade classrooms was a good thing, something to help prepare us for middle school, and that we'd still see each other at recess. I had moaned and whined for the remaining days leading up to the first day of school and my mom's response to my complaints was that I was "growing up" and that I had to get used to not having my five best friends with me all the time.
Ultimately, she was right. We all still saw each other at recess and after school. While I missed hearing Spin's sarcastic quips to the teacher in class, I insisted that we walk to school each morning together instead. I made a point of making sure Mikey and Gus felt extra-included in our plans. I made adjustments and the year went fine.
But, for some reason, I just can't shake the melancholy today.
We walk out toward Old Rusty and start climbing up the jungle gym to the top. I can hear laughter as we approach the top. Mikey and Gus stand by the old armchair that Spinelli is sitting in, the three of them still chuckling at something we've missed.
"What's so funny?" Vince asks.
"Oh, we're just talking about some of our greatest pranks," Gus says. "Remember when we took Finster's ice cream on the last day of fourth grade?"
Spin laughs again. "I can still see her face. I thought she was gonna blow a gasket!"
"What a tasty way to end the school year," Mikey adds.
They continue reminiscing, talking over each other trying to be the one to come up with the best memory. As they laugh, I walk over to the throne. Spin scoots over and I sit down in the beaten-up armchair. It's a tight fit, but we're both on the smaller side so it's not too cramped. She adjusts so I can sit in the chair and she sort of sits half on my leg, half in the remaining room. My body warms slightly but before I can react to it, she starts screaming to beat Vince in mentioning a memory of a prank we pulled as third graders and the two of them start bickering about who came up with it first.
None of them pick up on my quietness but I don't mind. Better for them to not notice than wonder about why I'm not contributing. That will just get Spin on my case again, which will make the rest of them concerned, and then I'll have to tell them that I'm afraid of middle school, even though I just told them only days ago that we had nothing to worry about.
"So, Teej, what were you thinking for this year?" Vince asks. "Last one's got to be epic."
I guess me staying out of the conversation couldn't last forever.
"Oh, uh, well, I actually don't have anything planned."
"Don't have anything planned?" Gus exclaims. "But, TJ, you always have something planned!"
"Perhaps you mean a psychological prank?" Gretchen asks. "Since Principal Prickly and Ms. Finster expect a prank, we don't do one in order to play with their minds?"
"Um."
I could just say yes, lead them off my scent, but I already see Spinelli looking at me like she wants to say something and Vince eyeing me curiously. If the two of them gang up on me, I'm toast.
"Um, excuse me? King TJ?"
We all turn. Standing at the edge of the Old Rusty is Justin Sanchez, the fifth grader I chose to succeed me as king of the playground.
"Menlo told me to come up," he continues.
He couldn't have come at a better time.
I slide out from the chair, trying not to jostle Spinelli too much, and come to a stop in front of Justin. He reminds me a lot of myself standing before King Freddy last year. He stands with his head held high, a slight twinkle of power hunger in his eyes. But I've been watching the fifth graders carefully this year and noticed Justin has a good sense of justice in addition to his leadership skills. Talking with the guys helped solidify my choice and by the time I had to tell Menlo the name to get it in the books I felt confident that I had chosen the right kid for throne.
I take my hat off my head and slide the crown off. "Anyone have the new crown from the Ashleys?"
"I do, Teej!" Gus says, scurrying over to hand it to me. We make an exchange, one crown for the other.
The Ashleys didn't like the crown Freddy made for me. They said it looked like a kindergartener made it and, to be honest, a kindergartener might have made it. King Freddy wasn't super into handing the power over to me, although I think it was less about handing it to me as it was handing it over to anyone. Regardless, the Ashleys took it upon themselves to make a new crown, decorated with red jewels and more glitter than I would have liked. Spin helped me dust the majority of it off. They then decided they were the Royal Fashion Experts and nominated themselves to the title. I didn't say anything about it just to keep them quiet.
But, as the Royal Fashion Experts, they made Justin's new crown. Which means I didn't have to make it or find someone else to make it, so all the power to them.
"You ready, Justin?" I ask.
"I think so," he says.
"You have some big shoes to fill," Vince says.
Justin shrugs, trying to look cool in front of Vince, but he doesn't quite shake the nerves completely from his voice. "Oh, I know."
I step forward and put a hand on his shoulder. "Being a good king isn't about comparing yourself to the king before you," I say quietly, just to him. "It's about justice and fairness and treating your subjects with the respect they deserve. If you do that, you'll be a good king."
I turn out toward the playground and see a few kids already mingling around, waiting for the transfer of power. Gus pulls out a recorder from near the armchair and gives it a blow.
"Kids of the playground!" I yell, calling everyone to attention.
A hush fills the schoolyard and every eye turns to Old Rusty.
"In my last official act as king, I, King TJ, anoint this boy, King Justin," I shout, following the typical script for the ceremony. I place the new crown on his head. "May you boss all the kids around with fairness."
Vince stands then and addresses our classmates. "The king has graduated. Long live the king!"
The crowd claps, bows, and I think I can hear some kazoos playing in the distance. This is their final thanks for maintaining the order of the playground this year. Once they stop, Justin will step forward to give his first address. It isn't a big speech, just a thank you to the former king and introduction to the crowd. His main speech will come on the first day of school in September.
While Justin steps forward, I step back. My duties are now complete.
"Now that you're no longer king, we can really get our prank on!" Vince says, slapping my back good-naturedly. "We've still got plenty of time for a plan."
Spinelli comes to my side, standing almost a little too close. "Yeah, Teej," she says. "This will be good for you. Get you out of this funk."
Maybe she's right. I shouldn't be wasting our last recess moping around the playground about how much will change next year. There will be plenty of time to mope when school is over. I put my arm over her shoulder and smile.
"You're right," I tell her before turning to the others. "Now the question is, you guys, who do we prank?"
Everyone shouts a different name. Randall. The Ashleys. Prickly. Finster. The usual suspects. We agree to go down, allow the new king his space, and do our planning in one of our typical planning spots. We wave goodbye and start down the slide. Gus goes first, then Mikey, Gretchen, and Vince. Spin gets ready to go down just as I hear some scuffling behind me. We both turn to see Justin crossing and uncrossing his arms.
"Oh, um, King TJ? Before you go down, can I talk to you?"
For the first time since he came up, Justin allows himself to look as nervous as he feels. He rings his hands together in front of him and fidgets. No longer is he trying to look cool for the others.
I turn to the slide to see Spinelli looking up at me, waiting to see what my reaction will be. Vince, Mikey, Gus, and Gretchen are already down, so I wave her off. She can let them know.
"Go ahead. I'll meet you down there."
"You sure, Teej?"
I nod. Spinelli has been protective of me since this morning, but the last thing Justin needs right now is an audience.
"Yeah, don't worry. I'll be down before recess is over."
She looks like she is planning to argue, but I give her a look. She shakes her head and pushes off. I watch her go all the way down before turning back to the new king.
"So, King Justin, what's up?"
"I just have a question," he says. I look at him expectantly and he fidgets for another second before blurting out, "Do I have to have a queen?"
It isn't the question that I expected and, to be honest, I'm not sure where it's coming from. For all I know, Third Street has never had a queen.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you had Spinelli," he says, bouncing from foot to foot and gesturing to the edge of the jungle gym where my friends left.
I can't help the chuckle that escapes. "Spinelli wasn't queen of the playground."
Justin doesn't meet my eye as he starts chewing on his fingernail. "I mean," he starts, with the same voice Gus uses when he says something he doesn't necessarily want to say. "We all knew it wasn't her official title but that's what everyone down there thought."
For a split second, I forget how to breathe.
When I became king, I was supposed to choose two bodyguards, but I have five best friends so that just wasn't going to work. So, instead, I decided to create new positions on top of the bodyguard spots. Gretchen became the Royal Brain, a trusted advisor to the more obscure rules of the playground and a resource when it came to deciding suitable punishments. Gus was Overseer of the Younger Grades. The little kids love him. That left Vince, Mikey, and Spinelli for the positions Jordan and Jerome once held for King Bob, the bodyguards, and it was a difficult decision. Vince was a no-brainer, but deciding between Spin and Mikey proved to be more challenging that I imagined.
While Mikey's size often overshadows his sensitivity, Spinelli was the obvious choice. With her brawn and spunk not many kids on the playground threatened to cross her, even when everyone on the playground grew bigger and taller than she did. So, when I chose Mikey and introduced him and Vince on the first day of school, everyone on the playground was shocked.
It wasn't that I thought Mikey would be a better guard, but the reality of my decision was one I didn't want anyone to find out. Even though I know Spinelli can handle herself, probably better than I can handle myself on the playground, I didn't want her to be a guard because I didn't want her getting in trouble for me and, in the rare occurrence of an uprising, I didn't want her to get hurt for me.
So, I let her pick her own title and we both decided that Royal Warden sounded cool. She would be the person actually supervising the punishments Gretchen and I deemed appropriate. She didn't really do it much though. She spent the majority of the time by my side, sitting in the old leather chair with me on top of Old Rusty or wandering the playground with me even when the other four were doing other things. I guess, in a way, she was acting less like a warden and more like an unofficial queen. One time, when we had to go rescue a third grade hostage from the kindergarten area, the kindergarteners addressed us as King TJ and Queen Spinuddi. She got a kick out of it and I just figured the kindergarteners didn't know what they were talking about – they are kindergarteners after all.
Turns out my feelings may be a little more transparent than I thought.
"I just don't want people to think I'm a girl liker," Justin says. He looks up and must see the shocked expression on my face because he quickly starts again, his voice flustered. "Not that people think you're a girl liker, your majesty. I mean, you and Spinelli have been inseparable since, well, since as far back as I can remember, when I join the big playground as a first grader. But, I don't have someone like that and I'm afraid if I have to choose one, people will call me a girl liker and not take me seriously as a king."
I completely understand where he comes from on this, but the truth of the matter is that, as much as I try to hide it, I am a girl liker.
I haven't told anyone, not even Vince. After the disaster in fourth grade when word got out about Spinelli's crush on Johnny V, I knew broaching the topic was a bad idea. But, it also gave me insider knowledge so when the symptoms started happening to me I knew what they were and knew not to say a word, especially considering who my crush was on. Through fifth grade, it came and went. Weeks would go by where I would even forget about it until, bam, it hit me like a freight train. And, yeah, I got little crushes on other girls too, but ultimately it always came back to Spinelli.
Which really whomps, you know? Because at least when you have a crush on someone who isn't one of your best friends you're not always around them. In the last few weeks, I've found myself with my heart pounding or caught myself staring at her and I really don't want anyone to figure it out. I don't want these 'butterflies' to ruin my friendship. I'm just waiting on this crush to disappear for good.
"King TJ?"
I shake out of my thoughts and plaster a smile on my face. He doesn't need to know any of that. I put a hand on his shoulder and make sure the grin stays wide.
"Look, Justin, you're king now. You can do whatever you want," I say. Thinking better of leaving it at that, I add, "Within reason and fairness, of course."
"So, I don't have to?"
"Not if you don't want to."
"Awesome!" His nerves disappear and he adjusts the crown on his head. "Thanks!"
His nerves may have disappeared, but the pit that has been in my stomach all day is back as I head to the slide. It can't be that obvious right? If it were, Spinelli would have punched me in the nose by now. And the others would have noticed too. They did when Spin had her crush, so I imagine they would have figured it out sooner than the playground did.
Okay. It's fine. It's not a big deal. Maybe people like Justin and the younger kids on the playground just aren't used to seeing friends as close as Spinelli and me.
Ah, who am I kidding? King Bob tried to have his pyramids as his legacy. I'm going to go down as the king who had a queen.
I head down and find my friends near the cheese box. I'm ready for a distraction.
"Okay, so let's see," I say, pulling off my cap and taking out the map of the school that I hide in there. That seems to get them all excited. "We could–"
"Attention, students. This is Principal Prickly talking."
We all look between each other as the loud speaker cuts me off.
"Oh, jeez," Vince says. "Maybe it's good we're graduating. He knows us so well he figured out our plan before we did."
"Why must the powers that be take what little satisfaction we children can obtain in the high walls of the schoolyard," Mikey waxes.
"Some of you may have noticed that your final recess before summer vacation is nearly over," he continues over the loud speaker. The entire playground area seems to deflate with the knowledge. "At which point you'll be forced back inside for a short period of study."
"Wow, way to rub it in," Spinelli groans.
"I want you to know that I will not stand for this."
Every eye turns up to the loud speaker. I take a quick glance at Ms. Finster a few yards away. When we make eye contact, she glares at me.
"Detweiler! Grundler!" she shouts as she stomps over to where we're sitting. "If this is another one of your childish, loud speaker games, I swear–"
Prickly's voice cuts over hers. "There are currently coolers being placed in the cafeteria at this precise moment, filled with ice cream. This ice cream should be eaten immediately."
Ms. Finster ignores the loud cheers of all the other students as she comes to stand over us, her hands on her hips, looking angry.
"I can't wait until I don't have to deal with you two and your voice changer ever ag-huh?"
She looks around at our group and I can see her counting us, trying to see who we're missing. But, this isn't a prank that we're doing. That's actually Prickly talking on the loud speaker, not one of us using Gretchen's fancy voice changing machine.
Gretchen shrugs her shoulders. "This isn't our doing, Ms. Finster."
"Honest!" Gus adds in.
"Furthermore, there have been some rumors circulating around about me that I would like to clear up," Prickly continues. "I would like you to know that I do, in fact, have a fat saggy butt that I like to scratch every hour on the hour."
The entire playground has erupted into chaos. Kids are rushing towards the doors to get to the ice cream. Others are laughing hysterically at the joke.
Finster's eyes widen and she audibly groans. "This can't be happening."
"Perhaps there is a new Prankster Prince overtaking the playground today," Mikey says.
I don't think this is a prank by a student. I think this is Prickly pulling one over on me. Who else would remember the fat saggy butt joke I said over the loud speaker in fourth grade besides him? It seems like the other five in my own group don't remember it, all of them giggling as Prickly repeats some of my greatest hits.
"Ms. Finster! Ms. Finster!" Randall comes running up. "TJ and the gang have overrode the loud speaker – oh."
Finster spins around and starts storming back toward the school, shouting for Randall to follow her. She's going to find out what has caused Prickly's momentary lapse of sanity.
"Also, I would like to apologize. What sort of mean spirited principal forces his students to return to class for an hour after recess before the summer holiday?" Prickly continues. "So, I would like to invite all of you into the cafeteria for an end-of-the-year celebration rather than heading back to class. All your teachers should have had you clean your desks and lockers already, so get ready to spend the rest of the school year eating ice cream–" I can hear Ms. Finster in the background now, but I can't make out what she says "– and we'll have episodes of Beanie McChimp playing on the projector."
If the playground wasn't already crazy, it is now. So many of our classmates scream in excitement or start running for the doors.
Gus nudges me. "Are you sure you're not behind all this?"
I nod. This has to be Prickly's weird way of saying goodbye to me and my schemes. I bet he can't wait until September rolls around and the six of us are gone.
"Well, we better go grab some ice cream before Finster convinces Prickly that he's lost his mind," Vince says, standing up.
Spinelli stands up too and the two of them start running for the doors, Mikey hot on their heels. Gus and Gretchen both shrug and join them, leaving me to catch up. I stuff my hands in my pockets and look over my shoulder at the now-dead playground. It looks like summer vacation already started.
I decide that the others won't miss me if I take a minute to look around. The line for the ice cream is probably all the way down the hallway anyway. So instead of head inside I let my eyes scan the playground where I've made some of my best memories over the last seven years.
The kindergarten area's door swings in the wind, having been opened by the mass of kindergarten savages rushing to be first in line for the ice cream. Even though I can't actually see it, I know what the area looks like from memory. There's a small sandbox where we learned Sam and Dave liked to dig for the first time and the playhouse the Ashleys claimed as their own on the second day of school. The monkey bars on the small Old Rusty replica hold my favorite memory though. It was at the monkey bars that the five of us – me, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, and Mikey – decided to be best friends. Who would have thought that seven years later our promise to be friends on the first day of school would still be in place?
Meeting those guys and Gus are the best thing that has ever happened to me.
I turn back toward the big playground. The Diggers have filled in all their holes. The balls have all been returned to the bin. The tetherball is wrapped around the pole. The chalk is back in the boxes. Upside Down Girl is right side up in the cafeteria. Butch isn't leaning against the school with a rumor. Hustler Kid is probably hustling kids out of their ice cream by now.
Everything is still.
Like the swings that Swinger Girl sat on every day. The swings that Spinelli foolishly tried to swing over in fourth grade. I groan at the memory of her utter devotion to the idea that Swinger Girl "swung on through to the other side" and how she was going to do the same. She nearly gave me a heart attack.
The Ashley Clubhouse with its chocolate spa and purple rulebook and its self-locking security doors. We got into our fair share of trouble with the Ashleys, but we always won in the end. We saved Spin from the clutches of the Ashley Clique. We learned about the Ashley Rules – and to never question when an Ashley gives Spinelli a gift we think is too good to be true because she is, technically, an Ashley and there are rules about gift distribution among Ashleys. And can't forget about the time we got the Slugginator back from their evil clutches.
Which brings me to the kickball field. Ashley Q kicked one so hard I think it went to China and if she did that then Vince's had to have gone to the moon. We met the kids at 98th Street who were so similar to us while doing a kickball tournament. We'll meet them again next year probably if they haven't moved away. I wonder if they'll be the same or if they'll be different. Our kickball field wasn't just used for kickball though – we used the outfield for battle tag and maul ball and football. Vince broke Prickly's window with a baseball once.
Sitting smack dab in the center of the playground is Old Rusty. At the top sits King Bob's throne, that became King Freddy's, that became mine, and that I've now passed onto Justin. I never really used it and I don't regret that. I preferred the hands-on kingship. I liked being in the trenches, enjoying my recess rather than just enforcing it, because isn't that what being a kid is all about? Having fun?
"What are we looking at?"
For the second time today, Spinelli has snuck up on me. I should have known someone would realize I was gone and she has been watching me like crazy today. I suppose there's no use lying to her now. She'll never believe me anyway, not with the way I've been acting, and something tells me she won't let me out of it this time like she has the others. But, now it's just us, everyone else focused on the party inside.
I sigh, gesturing toward the playground. "The end of our childhood."
She rolls her eyes. "You sound like Mikey."
I'm usually not one for Mikey's philosophical waxings, but maybe he has a point. Next year is going to bring changes I'm not sure I'm ready for yet.
"I'm serious though, Spin. We're never coming back here," I say, gesturing out toward the playground. "We had our last recess today. No more jungle gym. No more cheese box. No more kickball."
She considers this for less than a second. "So?"
"So?" I turn to stare at her. How does she not see this? How does she not see what I see? "Next year is going to be a lot different."
She narrows her eyes. "What are you talking about? Spiro Agnew is still a school. Yeah, we don't get recess, big froopin' whoop. We'll still play after school."
"That's just it, Spin. I don't think we will." I let my shoulders droop at the thought. "There will be sports and clubs and activities we'll all want to do." I can see it now. "Vince is gonna be busy with sports. Gretchen will be busy with her science clubs. Mikey will be doing the musicals. It's just not gonna be the same."
She is quiet after I finish so I turn to see what expression she has on. She looks pensive, considering what I've just said, and I think that she must be realizing that I'm right.
"Well, duh, Teej," she says finally.
That wasn't what I was expecting. Spin's not exactly the most graceful advice giver, but I was expecting something a little more comforting.
"What?"
"You just said it's not gonna be the same. Of course it isn't." She rolls her eyes. "It's middle school, of course it's different. But, everything always changes. We're not the same as we were in first grade either, or even fourth grade. But we'll change with it."
I swallow, the real fear of the matter coming to the surface. "But what if we change too much?"
She turns back out onto the playground and thinks about it for a moment. So many different scenarios run through my head. What if everyone joins a clique? Vince and the jocks. Gretch and the smart kids. Gus and the military kids. Mikey and the drama kids. Spinelli and...the art kids? The soccer girls? The Ashleys? Anything can happen, I suppose.
Spin turns back toward me and shrugs. "Then I guess it means we didn't care enough," she says. "You and Menlo changed a lot and you still go to his birthday parties. If we change too much to hang out, then I guess it doesn't matter because we don't care anymore."
"I'm always going to care about you."
The words leave my mouth before I can think to stop them, but now they're out there. My cheeks feel warm, almost like I have a fever, and I wish I could go back and stop them from tumbling out. But, if Spinelli notices my distress, she doesn't show it. Instead, she just smiles and takes my hand, giving it a squeeze.
"Oh, Teej, you'll always have me," she says with a smirk. "I'm not letting you go anywhere."
"Well, I mean, we are neighbors." The joke is an attempt to save my dignity. I don't want to send Spin running to the hills because she finds out about my unfortunate crush. "But, no matter how much we change, you'll always have me too. I promise."
Spinelli turns her hand in mine, adjusting so her fingers are laced between mine. I've never held hands with a girl like this before. My heart feels like it is going to beat right out of my chest. Maybe I'm having an actual heart attack. Maybe I should ask Gretchen if this is normal. But then I'd have to out myself and my crush on Spinelli and that is not happening.
If this is how I die, then at least it'll feel good going down.
"I'm gonna hold you to that," Spin says. Then she jerks her head behind us. "Come on, the others are gonna realize we're gone soon. Ice cream can only steal their attention for so long."
Even though she says it, she doesn't pull me in the direction of the school. She just stands there, watching me for a moment, and then looks back out at the playground. I follow her lead and let my eyes scan one final time. The four-square on the asphalt. Prickly's private garden. The plot in sixth grade territory where we buried Speedy the hamster. The back 'forest' where the kindergarteners took me hostage in fourth grade. The dumpster we did the experiment behind. My throat constricts at that memory and the fact that Spin is still holding my hand. I should let go, but I don't want to so I just give it a squeeze instead. When she turns, I nod toward the school.
She waits for me to make the first step. When I do, the two of us turn our backs and start for the doors.
"Hey, Spin?" I ask as we climb the stairs. She looks up expectantly as I open the door and we walk inside. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it," she says. After a beat, she adds, "And really, Teej, don't mention it to anyone. I can't go into Spiro Agnew with everyone thinking I'm going soft or else I'll get dubbed Ashley S and I can't handle that."
I don't think she notices she's still holding onto my hand. She'd probably let go if she realized it. Does that mean I should let go? I probably should. We are getting closer to the cafeteria. I decide to take advantage of this until we get back to our classmates. I may never get this chance again.
"I've got a rep to protect," she continues.
A grin finds its way to my lips. Some things will definitely change, but I can't believe I actually let myself come up with the theory earlier that Spin might join the Ashleys in middle school. Things won't ever change that much.
"But, you'd be the best Ashley," I say, giving our joined hands an exaggerated swing. She's going to let go any second, realizing how girly and Ashley-like this whole situation is now.
She rolls her eyes, but doesn't stop the swinging like I expected. In fact, I almost think she keeps it going. Weird.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she says as she reaches for the cafeteria door. "I'm already the best Ashley."
She's not wrong.
"Teej! Spin! Where were you guys?"
Our duo is broken. The other four all have ice creams in their hands and chocolate on their mouths. Vince is first to us, holding out a couple of extra packages, ice cream for us, and as Gus approaches next, I can hear him saying, "We were in line and you weren't there and then suddenly Spinelli was gone and where did you go?"
The four stop in front of us and Vince frowns, his eyes darting down to where my hand is still clasped tightly onto Spin's.
"Why are you two holding hands?" he asks.
I drop her hand immediately and it flies to my hat, fiddling with it, as my face heats up to match the red. I've kept this stupid whomping feeling hidden from my friends all year and I'm not about to blow it now.
"Oh, well, you know," I stutter.
I look to Spin for help, hoping that she can express it better since she won't be as tongue-tied, but I'm surprised to see her face flash with something unfamiliar. It's not anger, but it's similar maybe. Her eyebrows furrow on her face, her eyes drop to her boots, and the corners of her mouth tug downward.
But, as quickly as I see it, it disappears. Then she looks up, an entirely different emotion on her face, as she smirks.
"TJ was just nervous about big bad middle school," she teases me.
"Wait, you're scared?" Gus exclaims. He grabs at his hair. "How am I ever not going to be scared if you're scared?"
And, just like that, the leader is needed and I'm able to fall right back into my normal patterns. I toss an arm over his shoulder to calm him down and look out at all the guys as I tell him what I've just figured out myself.
"You see, Gus, I've come to the conclusion today that everyone's a little scared and that's a good thing. If it wasn't scary, it wouldn't be important."
Mikey puts a hand on his heart. "The wisest end-of-the-year words we'll ever hear."
The ice cream gets eaten. Beanie McChimp, the superhero monkey, saves the day on the projector. And then everyone, the entire school, counts down.
10, 9, 8. The Ashleys apply a last coat of their lip junk. Hustler Kid sells one last map of the teachers' houses.
7, 6, 5. Menlo loosens his tie. Randall huddles next to Ms. Finster.
4, 3, 2. My friends all stare at the clock, feet pointed toward the door, ready to run to Kelso's to make sure the Ashleys don't steal our usual booth.
1. And then the bell rings.
With no papers to throw in the air, everyone just screams and starts rushing for the doors. Vince leads the charge for those of us in the sixth grade corner of the cafeteria. We all run, but I slow when I see Principal Prickly at the door. I get pushed out of the stampede for my change of pace and end up face-to-face with him. I'm expecting some sort of scolding, one last life lesson from the principal intent on teaching me to be a good kid, but instead he just holds out his hand for me to shake.
"Come on, Teej!" I turn away from shaking the principal's hand to see the other five are back. "We gotta beat the Ashleys!"
"Go have some fun while you can," Prickly urges. "September will be here before you know it."
He sounds a little sad as he says it. Maybe I'm not the only one having a hard time with this moving on stuff.
I head over to my friends and Vince starts running again, telling us that we'll use the short cut we found through the Wilson's backyard to see if we can beat the Ashleys. I take one final look over my shoulder as the six of us sprint out of the school. Goodbye, Third Street, I think as we race toward Kelso's. Spiro Agnew, ready or not here we come.
...
Notes
First, I want to thank you for reading. I especially want to thank those who have been reviewing my fics from the beginning, my religious guest reviewer and Trampled Under Foot. Reviews really do provide such valuable inspiration. Thank you!
You'll recognize lines from Recess: School's Out, as well as countless episode references in the text. I tried to hit on as many episodes, mention as many characters, and use as many direct quotes as I could without overloading it.
If you enjoyed this (as well as some of my other works, which exist in this same universe), I have decided that I would like to explore this universe in more detail than just occasional one-shots. I now have a fairly detailed headcanon (ranging from kindergarten to present day) that I'd like to figure out how to tell. I'm not sure how it will look yet, but if you enjoy reading these characters, look out for a bigger project coming from me (hopefully soon). If you have any suggestions, please let me know! I'm always looking for ideas.
Also, if you've made it this far, I'd love to hear from you. What did you like? What did you dislike? Drop me a comment, a PM, a review. I'd love to hear from you!