Breakfast
Summary: Dick kept a few secrets from Wally. One of them was he smelled like breakfast :Birdflash::YAOI:
Author's Note: This one is a little graphic, so rating to be sure. Just reminding you guys: Bad english (I don't think it is thaaaaaaaat bad... But I could be wrong, so I'll keep warning!), compensating with angst this time.
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"You smell like breakfast" Nightwing muttered to nowhere.
Everyone had already returned to the base, or where they had decided to regroup, except for him. It wasn't time to ask how would he return from Arctic, or how would he stand the cold. At this moment he couldn't even feel the cold, his reason was warning him about numb fingers and difficult breathing, tho. He could only stand up there, at the same place where he saw his friend fade into none.
When he heard Sphere approaching he knew he had to compose himself, even Artemis was such a mess. But at all he only could do was take a deep breath. He wasn't crying, wasn't shaking, wasn't reacting. It seemed like he had ceased to exist instead his friend and that was why he reacted to nothing.
'Nightwing...' M'gann spoke in his mind at the same time hers hand touched his arms. Hers touch made him turn and he saw himself reflected into hers eyes. He was crying, and was shaking so much it seemed his body would disassemble. 'We have to go. You will freeze to death here!' she was worried. But the sound of the word 'go' awoke a despair so strong and so deep he ran the opposite direction. As soon as he reached the place where was the chrysalis he collapsed. Screamed and cried. Took off his own domino mask, since it was useless with tears. For a counting of ten he let the wrath take full control.
One. Punched the ground, which only did his almost frozen fingers threaten to break. Two. Screamed so loud and hard that felt his throat ache. Three. His voice disappeared as he felt the urge to breathe. Four. He couldn't breathe, the air wasn't able to pass through his throat, he swallow the most he could. Five. Shook so much that trying to breathe seemed impossible. Six. A gush of air reached his lungs. Seven. Another gush of air. Eight. Another one. Nine. Another one. Ten. He threw up.
He wasn't seeing but he knew his friends were looking at each other trying to figure out what was happening. Richard had split his reason from his body just trying to survive that wave of emotions and now was trying to use that reason to solve an imminent problem. He should not have a breakdown. He was Batman protégé. He had been trained to every single situation. He should not have a breakdown! But there he was. Throwing up to bleeding point, knocking the ice so hard that already broke some fingers, even screamed so loud now he was voiceless. Nightwing had to explain this to the Team. After all they were there when he got the new about Jason's death, everybody saw him mourn, everybody saw how he managed to endure. His brother died and he didn't broke up like that.
Rising his body like nothing had happened, he grabbed his mask and put it on. Took a bunch of snow on his hands and rubbed on his face and hands with a little trouble. He turned to his friends wearing his 'batface'. The thought of joking crossed his mind but it looked so weird that would worry them further instead of calming them down. 'Let's go' he sent through the mind link, blocking his on mind to further communication. He wouldn't explain that to the team, decided. Wally never heard that explanation no one else had the right to hear that.
"Dick" M'gann called him sweetly. He passed through her and rode on Sphere.
Some part of him kept the silence because doubt it he could speak, another part was just afraid if he try to speak he would have breakdown again. As soon as they met the League he felt Bruce's eyes on him. Sphere barely touched the ground and Batman asked Aqualad to report. He was the leader, he should be the one giving the report. But Bruce knew. Bruce always knew.
Patiently one by one they all left. Even thou many rides were offered, Batman stayed behind with Richard. He sent Tim and Barbara ahead with the others. Soon they all left and only them were there he glanced to his oldest son. Without warning pulled him into a hug, then Nightwing collapsed again. He grasped with all his strength onto Batman's cape and cried over his chest. He couldn't tell how long they stayed like that. He only knew he cried on his father's arms until all fade to black.
Dick woke up scared, not knowing what happened. He was at the Wayne Manor but some crisis was on the back of his mind. Sat hurriedly remembering he had to fight against the Reach. Then he was overwhelmed with a scent of bacon and eggs and blueberry pie with honey and vanilla and pancakes. Not understanding why he was so happy about it he rose up and ran to the smell source. It was need all the skill of the butler to dodge with the breakfast cart. Like he was struck by a lightning he remembered the previous night in detail. He believed for an instant it was Wally and his freaking scent. For an instant he believed it was all a dream. Bruce found him at the hallway fallen on the floor throwing up again.
"Calm down. There's nothing else to put it out" he said putting him on his arms, gently turning him around to avoid more vomit to come out. Eventually it all stopped and a glass of water was on Richard's hands.
"I do have" said slowly between small sips. "It is all that I have left. So much. Never found opportunity to put it out or I found but was too scared to" he looked around. Lost.
"It's complicated, I know, say you love someone when that one decided to move on with someone else and start a family" if it was anybody else who had said that he would freak out but it was Batman, obviously he knew it already. "Do you want to tell me?"
"I never told to him, how could I tell to anyone else?"
"This will never leave you. Better tell to whom already know it, doesn't it?" that wasn't his Batman tone. That was like a father trying to comfort his son after a nightmare. He heard that same tone before. Just when he was taken in. He couldn't sleep and Bruce read a few stories to him fall asleep. That was the tone he used back then.
"Wally... I don't even know when I fell in love. When I did realize it I was staring, really taking advantage my mask and glasses didn't allow to see where I was looking at" he finished the water and glanced to the empty glass hoping it would fill itself with answers to his life. "First I thought it was the curiosity phase. But Roy didn't attracted my glares. Then I thought I was afraid he would tell around our identities but I just never doubt him, not even once. I was trying so hard to figure out what made my eyes to search the boy that never took a single moment to realize I never stopped thinking of him. When I realized I was holding a towel in my bathroom while he was bathing" he laughed. A very painful laugh, not his characteristic cackle, followed by a cough. He turned his body and resumed to vomit, he only got the water he just drank to throw up. Another glass was put on his hands. "I was ogling my best friend when I was just supposed to drop the towel" he looked up smiling. A smile that never reached his reddened and swollen eyes.
"You're human, I don't know how you could resist so much temptation" he answered softly, gently fixing the hair on his forehead. The young man moved a little and got more comfortable on the man's lap, burying his face in the crook of Bruce's neck and allowing himself to cry more.
"Holy Patience, Batman! I don't need being reminded by you that I'm human, of all people on this world" inhaled the older man scent. Remembering once, when he was caught by Joker, Batman stood in front of Robin to take a blow at his place. That was the scent he transpired. That was safety. He sighed. "I was afraid. He loved girls. When I would find a time to confess? One time was a beautiful blonde that sat three seats ahead and had the most beautiful voice. Other time was M'gann who was a beautiful redhead like him whom had the most beautiful voice, both real and mental. At the end was Artemis, the brave and bold partner who would do anything for him, that never was afraid of risking anything for him, that always reached the target, that knew all of his flaws and loved him anyway and was perfect for him"
"So was you."
"I was the best friend. I had to stand he leaving me. I had to accept it. It was his happiness I could see it. It was so obvious. Even before that kiss, his eyes shone when anyone said her name. And during that simulation, the one M'gann took control of, he was so heartbroken when she died. If I hadn't died with him, if I was the first one to die. Do you think he would...?"
Silence was the answer.
"Not that way" he answered himself. "Artemis already was something he didn't even knew. He was like me before the towel. I can still remember when Jason died, after everyone had left. After I did need no further comfort. Wally came to me. He couldn't meet my eyes, and he was so red. For a while I thought I could hope. I thought I could confess. I remember raising my hand, I think I was trying to fix his hair. So he looked inside my eyes and said: Artemis and I can't take it anymore.
"He said alone, Bruce, but spoke for the both of them. I knew then and there, there wouldn't be anymore chances, times to confess or the littlest mutuality. But above all of that I knew there wouldn't be anymore KF. He wasn't Kid Flash any longer. Not my best friend anymore. He found a new happy life. Sometimes I'd visited him just to talk to. But she would always be there. Never just our time."
"I remember you guys going out to drink" Wayne rose an eyebrow.
"Not ours time" moved away a little and looked into the older man eyes. "Arty is thinking about changing the drapes, I don't wanna. Just because she got that ugly green sofa and my drapes are Flash themed. What is it wrong with Flash? She rather like Green Arrow, I know it, but she denies. At least, sex was good when I said she was right!" he impersonated his friend in one single breath. He felt nauseous but could keep control. "Got it? I still had to listen about the skills of the Sexiest Archer in this World. HE WAS MY WALLY! MINE!" yelled and cried. Felt being tightened and left himself relax. "He was mine... but wasn't anymore. I... I just wanted to listen his voice. But every time he entered this subject I wanted to die. Now, I wouldn't care to listen him bragging about how happy he was with her. And the smell... I don't wanna go back home, Bruce. He... He is everywhere. When Artemis was undercover he was hiding at my home" he choked and cried. "There are his things over there" said between sobs. "Clothes, comics, damn college papers. How can I go back there? I called him everyday since he went back to his home. Come pick up your stuff. But he always said later. The promise of the next visit" screamed and was cradled by the older one. Just when he was squeezed and immobilized he realized that he even punched Bruce in his breakdown. "I had passed the last few years seeing him a couple of times. One of those years I even didn't get to see him at all. But this last few months I thought I would be the best friend again, he would be close again. And what did I do? I brought them back and because of that he's dead!"
Resumed crying and coughing, he almost threw up again but could keep that in control, was when he realized Bruce probably medicated him. He silently thanked his father for that. Without warning, he passed out. He woke later at night, so weak he couldn't even cry. Turned aside and saw a shadow. Too small to be Bruce. He thought to react. But the soft shy touch on his hair gave away who it was.
"You should be sleeping, Tim" muttered.
"Like you can talk. And you should eat something, Grayson. It has been three days since your last meal. Bruce got you to drink some water, but no food."
"Three days?" he looked around confused.
"Yes. You slept in the whole first day. Woke up on the second and went berserk. For a moment you got to be lucid enough to talk to Bruce, but then you resumed the frenzy. And today you blacked out. Never thought it would be so hard to convince Bruce to NOT do something" he shrugged. He was in his Robin uniform and looked untidy. How late was it? "He wanted to bring J'onn to confirm your mental health. But neither the League nor the Team know about your status. To your luck there was a mass escape from Arkham and you are helping us full time" he proudly smiled.
"Luck?"
"Gotham's corruption must have a good side even if it is to hide my brother's status. Don't worry, no casualty" he sat with a little trouble. That sent a warning sign in Robin. "You shouldn't overdo. You're still healing" Dick smiled to his younger brother.
It was a sad smile which indicated the bitter feeling at the bottom of Nightwing's stomach. He had to carry on. Even if all of his smiles were fated to never reach his eyes again. Even if the pain would haunt him every waking moment. He had friends, relatives and a Team. He had a city which needed him.
"Call Alfred and tell him I want breakfast" he caressed the boy's hair and stood up. A part of him died along with Wallace West but he had to carry on.
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Author's Note:
I really wanted to do this scene, but couldn't find a place to put it. So it's a bonus! It is right after Bart wear the Kid Flash cowl:
Nightwing hugged her when she left Memorial Garden.
"I miss him" she whispered with tears. He cleaned them up softly and slowly rose her face.
"I miss him too" she smiled mysteriously.
"I know" and left the place already composed. He couldn't deny, she was amazing.
He entered the garden slowly, passing through Jason statue in his uniform. I was weird look at it. Almost like seeing an alternate past. Tim was wearing an upgraded new cowl but Jason inherited his own. He used to wear the garb he died on. A swift movement called his attention. A speedster circling Kid Flash's statue. The one that even trying to disguise he was visiting. He could only see the colorful trail and hear the blabbering, too fast for human's ears. He could use his tech devices and training to try to translate but he chose let this speedster have his privacy.
As he got close to his destiny he felt the smell. It was like snacks, Chicken Whizees, cola and french fries. He smiled wondering how the others Flash should smell. Barry should be lunch and Jay dinner. The youngster almost hit him, stopping right after the contact, which knocked the speedster down. Nightwing certainly wasn't prepared to that. Bart was wearing Kid Flash's cowl. It took him about sixteen seconds to realize Wally wasn't back. He walked to the boy and reached out his hand. Allen took it and saw himself in a tight hug.
"You shrunk, KF" said playful. "And now smells like snacks."
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AN: There is another two fics to this. I don't know when I'll translate them. The second part (Anosmia at Portuguese) has chapters. I'll probably translate them all and then publish them. The third part (Eternamente Seu at Portuguese) got 25 pages... But I love that fic.