The Little Not Quite Mermaid
By: Asagi Tsuki
Pairing: USxUK
Warning: AU, OOCness (I can't be sure of this one), and forgive my lack of language diversity (I can only speak American English -_-;;;;)
Disclaimer: I don't own Axis Powers Hetalia
A/N: this is somewhat a parody of the story Little Mermaid. I was re-reading the fairy tale parodies I wrote for the Yunjae fandom, and was thinking of writing this one
Symphony of Love is on hold, and will probably be discontinued unless someone actually wants to read the continuation. So if you do, please say so. If you don't, then it'll remain in my hard disk :3
Enjoy~
PS. Thank you to eek-chan who pointed out a stupid mistake of mine :P I've corrected it. Thanks again, and sorry it took so long
The Little Mermaid
"Arthur!" a loud, obnoxious voice called as the blanket was yanked harshly away from him. "Wake up, you lazy jerk!"
Arthur groaned and rolled to face the person bothering his sleep. "It's still six in the morning, you brat!"
"We're on another rescue mission!" Peter shouted excitedly as he tossed the blanket away from Arthur. "Get up and help me out!"
"You're the one with the hero complex! Why am I getting dragged into this!" Arthur protested as he sat up on his bed, wiggling his tail and stretching his arms and back.
"Because if I do it myself, some of the poor drowning people will die!" Peter said with a huff. "Now come on and let's go save them!"
"Fine, fine," Arthur said with a grumble and swam behind Peter, following him to the place where the shipwreck was. "How did you find it anyway?"
"Oh, Feliciano and I were doing our routine patrol," Peter said. "He's gone to get Ludwig to help out too now."
"I see," Arthur commented. They reached the site soon after, and quickly noted the people who drowned along with the ship while the rest were on the lifeboats floating above them.
"There are only four, I suppose," Peter said. "I'll take the little boy. You take one, and let Feliciano and Ludwig take the other two."
"Sure, whatever," Arthur said as he swam down to get the one who had fallen deepest. He quickly grabbed the man's arm and swam back up to the shore, hoping that the man hadn't died already.
"Darn humans and their ships," Arthur cursed as he rested the man on the sandy beach. He noticed that the man wasn't breathing, and proceeded to give him CPR. It wasn't like he hadn't done so before.
And how did a merman know about CPR? The pervert wizard taught them how to when Peter told him about their so-called rescue team, consisting of the four of them.
He stopped when the man started coughing and hacking, and considered just leaving the man be and see how the other three were doing. However, when he saw the man coughing like there was no tomorrow, he pitied him slightly, and helped him up to a sitting position.
"Are you feeling better?" Arthur asked as he stared at the man who had ceased coughing. "Can you talk? Do you even remember who you are?"
"I'm not suffering from amnesia, and certainly am not mute," the man said as he looked up at Arthur with an annoyed look. "Thanks for saving me, I guess."
Arthur rolled his eyes. "I suppose you're well enough if you could be sarcastic like that, you git," he grumbled. "Well then, I'm going to check on the other three."
"Wait, who are you?" the man asked as he held onto Arthur's arm. "I've never seen... a... you're not a mermaid, are you?"
"Do I look and sound like one?" Arthur asked back, positively miffed at the question. "Maybe the fall caused some screws to go loose in your head. If they're not already loose in the first place."
The man pointedly ignored the comment. "What's your name?"
"And you would want to know because?" Arthur raised an eyebrow at the man.
"I'd like to reward you for saving my life," the man said. "But I don't have anything with me right now. I thought maybe I could give it to you some other time, but I need to know your name."
"Arthur," Arthur said simply. "Who are you? A rich merchant?"
"I'm Alfred Jones," he said. "You can say that, I suppose. Come see me at my house sometimes. It's near the beach at Virginia."
"I'll try," Arthur said. "I—crap," Arthur said in panic when he saw some men walking towards the beach. He mustn't be seen by humans, and he had been staying too long in the company of a human. "I have to go!"
"Wait!" Alfred shouted as he reached out to Arthur to prevent him from going away, but he only managed to take hold of the long golden chain with a fairy-shaped diamond pendant hanging around his neck. The chain broke when Arthur jumped back into the water, and he disappeared.
"Young Master!" one of the men exclaimed when he saw Alfred. "We're glad to see you well! Let's head back to the city."
Alfred stared at the pendant in his hand, and pocketed it silently. "Yes, let's head back."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
"Oi jerk face, what took you so long!" Peter asked as he glared at Arthur as soon as he rejoined them at the meeting room.
"Sorry, I just had to make sure he was alive," Arthur said as he sat across Ludwig. "So, the other three alive?"
"Yes, they are," Ludwig said quickly. He then paused and stared at Arthur. "Where's your pendant?"
"Huh?" Arthur blinked at him, then looked down. To his horror, the pendant was nowhere to be found. "What the-! That git! He must have it!"
"What git?" Peter asked, clearly unimpressed. Ludwig was looking at Arthur questioningly, and Feliciano was sitting at the side, daydreaming about the things he'd like to eat.
"The one I had to save," Arthur said as he rolled his eyes. "Some people were walking our way, and when I wanted to go back, he tried to stop me. I guess he might have gotten hold of my pendant at that time."
"Well, you're in deep shit, jerk," Peter said. "You know father will kill you if you lose that thing, right?"
"He's not going to kill me, you're exaggerating things," Arthur said darkly as he glared at Peter. "And I'm going to retrieve it anyway."
"How?" Ludwig asked.
"He told me his name and where he lives," Arthur said. "I'll just have to go and ask for it."
"Like this?" Peter asked incredulously. "We mustn't let others see us! You know that!"
"Of course I do," Arthur said with a heavy sigh. "That's why I have to see him."
"Him? You mean him?" Peter asked with wide eyes.
"Yes," Arthur said heavily. "Him."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
"My, my," a heavily-accented voice spoke up as soon as Arthur poked his head into the small, dim-lit room. "To what occasion do I owe this visit to?"
"To a git who stole my pendant," Arthur said darkly as he swam into the room, and stopped a few feet in front of the perverted wizard. "I need your help, Francis."
"And what is that?" Francis asked, a leering smile on his face.
"I need to go onto the land to retrieve my pendant," Arthur said nervously. "I've never done this before, but I heard you could... you know, give me a pair of legs."
"Oh-ho!" Francis exclaimed with a laugh. "So you're acknowledging my greatness now?"
"I never said anything like that," Arthur said as he rolled his eyes. "But if it'll get you to shut up and give me those legs so I could claim my pendant back, then whatever you want to believe."
"Aw, you hurt me, cheri," Francis said as he grasped his chest with mock hurt. "Anyway, I'll give you a pair of legs, in exchange of your lovely voice."
"That's a fairy tale, blasted frog," Arthur said angrily. "And my voice is not lovely! It's manly!"
"Whatever you want to believe," Francis said with a grin, and Arthur grumbled out something along the line of "copyright infringement".
"Are you going to help me or not?" Arthur asked darkly as he glared at the wizard.
"Sure, sure," Francis said as he turned to one of his shelves, and took a small vial. "Drink this first thing tomorrow morning, and you'll get a pair of legs in exchange of your voice, as I've said. The effect will last two days, but if you fail in accomplishing what you want by the end of the two days you will..."
"Die?" Arthur asked as he gulped slightly.
"No, you'll revert back to a merman, but you'll be my slave for a week!" Francis said as he cackled evilly. "It's not a bad thing, really. I'm sure of it."
Arthur glared at hit the wizard's crotch with his tail. "Go screw yourself," he grumbled as he grabbed the vial from the wizard's hand and left him to groan and writhe in pain.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
"Where are you going?" Peter asked when he saw Arthur swimming away carrying his golden harp. "You're not planning on sinking another ship, are you?"
"That's really not my fault," Arthur defended himself. "Who the heck lost control of their ship just because of someone singing? I thought humans have a lot of singers too."
"None that has such a lovely voice like yours, cheri," Francis said as he suddenly appeared behind Arthur, slinging an arm around his shoulder. "I see that you'd like to sing one last time before you lose your voice?"
"Eh! Why would you lose your voice!" Peter asked in surprise. "It's you isn't it!" he asked accusingly as he turned to Francis.
"Calm down! It was only for two days!" Francis said as he quickly held onto Peter's tail to make sure his crotch didn't get hit again. "And it's not like he's trying to compete with Helen of Troy."
"What does she have to do with this?" Arthur asked.
"Well, if she has a face that could launch a thousand ships, you have a voice that could sink a thousand ships," Francis said with a grin. "Though I'm pretty sure your eyebrows could maybe cause a thousand ships to run away from you."
This time Arthur punched him right in the stomach.
"It's nothing I'm proud of," Arthur said as he huffed. "It's not like I enjoy sinking ships. They're just too stupid, and then they put the blame on me!"
"Ah, the fabled siren," Francis said. "How disappointed they must be to know that the owner of such lovely voice is a man... with hideous eyebrows," he added the last three words silently.
"If you make one more comment about my eyebrows, I'm going to kill you and feed you to the sharks," Arthur threatened as he glowered at Francis. "Humph, I'm going now. I'll be back in a couple of hours."
Peter and Francis watched as Arthur swam away with his harp in his arms.
"Did he really sink a thousand ships?"
"He probably would. Who knows."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Arthur sat on a rock, his harp on his lap. He stared at the wide expanse of the ocean and started plucking the strings, creating a sad, solemn melody before he joined the music with his singing.
The sea seemed to roar to life as dolphins, and even seagulls, gathered around him, swimming and flying around him, as if dancing to the sad song.
"Why are you sad, Prince?" a dolphin asked as he rested beside Arthur's tail. "Did something bad happen?"
Arthur smiled and patted the dolphin's head, ceasing his singing. The dolphins and seagulls stopped their dances as well, and settled down around him.
"I lost my pendant," he said.
"The heirloom?" the dolphin asked again.
"Yes, that one," Arthur said with a sigh. "I'm going to the land tomorrow to retrieve it. The wizard said he'll give me a pair of legs, but in exchange of my voice."
"Why?" the dolphins asked, whining almost. "You have a lovely voice, Prince! Don't give up on it!"
"Thank you for the concern," Arthur said with a smile. "But it'll only be for two days, so it's alright."
"We wish you the best of luck," the seagulls cried as they flew lowly around the rock. "You are still our prince even if your pendant is lost."
"I'm sure that is so," Arthur said. "I'm sure I can get the pendant back."
"Will you sing for us again?" a dolphin asked.
"Sure," Arthur said as he picked his harp up again. He began to sing again, but the melody was much more light-hearted this time, and the dolphins and seagulls stayed beside him until it was time for him to go back underwater.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Arthur walked up the beach silently, a cream-colored summer dress clinging to his small, lithe form. He had protested at first, but apparently Francis only owned female human clothes, so he was forced to wear it or be naked.
The beach-goers stared at him, but he ignored the stares. He needed to find the git and reclaim his pendant before two days were up. But how would he do that?
He walked up to a shack by the beach, and with his hand, motioned for a pen and paper. The storekeeper looked sympathetic at him, and handed him the requested things.
'Do you know a man named Alfred Jones?' he wrote in perfect cursive writing and showed the paper to the man.
"Alfred Jones?" the man asked. "Yeah, well, everyone here knows him. He's the rich man living up there, in that huge mansion. How do you know him?"
Arthur smiled at the man and mouthed 'thanks' before he walked off to the house.
"Wait ma'am," the storekeeper said as he called out to Arthur. "Here, I'll give you these," he said as he handed over a pair of slippers to Arthur. "Your feet will hurt if you walk up there barefooted."
Arthur looked at the slippers, then at the storekeeper's feet. He accepted the gift and put them on, smiling and thanking the owner once again before he walked up to the mansion.
He had a slight trouble with the butler who refused to let him pass, but Alfred heard the commotion and told the butler to go back to whatever he was doing while he entertained his guest. Somewhat.
"Hey," Alfred greeted as he stood in front of Arthur. "I knew you're a mermaid. You look good in that, by the way."
Arthur opted to simply hit the man upside the head.
"Ouch, is that how you respond to compliments?" Alfred protested, nursing his bruised head. "Oh, I know why you're here. The pendant, isn't it?"
Arthur nodded and stretched his hand towards the man.
"Here," Alfred said, taking the pendant out of his pocket. "I had the chain fixed. I know you won't want to have a broken pendant back."
Arthur nodded and stared at the fairy-shaped diamond pendant on his palm. He smiled, and nodded again at Alfred.
"Why don't you say anything?" Alfred asked with a frown. "You seemed content in insulting me the first time we met."
"Git," Arthur mouthed. "I can't speak."
"Why not?" Alfred asked.
"Don't you realize anything at all?" Arthur mouthed slowly. "A wizard agreed to give me a pair of legs in exchange of my voice."
"That sounds like The Little Mermaid," Alfred said with a grin. "After all, the maker of the story comes from my country!"
"Disney wasn't the original writer, git, Hans Christian Andersen was," Arthur mouthed, then sighed. "I better be going now. The effect will wear off in two days."
"What?" Alfred asked. "But you're supposed to want to marry me!"
"Oh, you delusional—"
"Isn't that how the story goes?"
"I'm not a mermaid!"
"Certainly can pass off as one," Alfred commented as he held Arthur's chin with his hand. "You're very pretty."
"Why did your ship sink in the first place?" Arthur asked.
"It was the siren," Alfred said. "One of my men was too enraptured by the siren's singing that he abandoned his post. When the siren stopped singing, he was devastated, I suppose, and didn't return to his post. We realized it too late, because the ship had crashed a rock."
"Oh my," Arthur groaned as he face-palmed. "So it was because of me after all? Maybe Francis is right."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm the so-called siren," Arthur said with a growl. "Stupid humans who can't even differentiate a merman, a mermaid, and a siren. Sirens inhabit an island far away from here. They've ceased to wander along the seas."
"Are you sure you're not a mermaid?"
"Do you want to live to see another day or not?"
"But why won't you want to marry me?"
"Because I don't know you, and I can't leave the sea!"
"Aw, this sucks," Alfred said with a pout. "I guess there's nothing I can do then."
"Darn right," Arthur scowled. "Now please excuse me," he said as he put the pendant on, and walked back to the beach.
"I'll be waiting for you, my little mermaid!" Alfred shouted as he watched Arthur walk away, and grinned when he saw the other's face flushing slightly in embarrassment.
The next day, and the days after that, at daybreak, when no one else would be there, Alfred would come down to the beach, walking along the length of it on the white sand before he settled down on a particularly nice spot, and Arthur would come up to the beach with his harp and sing.
And the Happy Ending?
First of all, I know the ending sucks -_-;;; do forgive me
I hope you've enjoyed it all the same, though. If you do, please leave a review, because I'm a review whore xD