Hello again!
Welcome to part 2 of my Life story, Life - Without You. If you haven't read my Life - Begins story I would suggest for you to do that since it's the first part of the story line. For you whom already read it I hope you will enjoy. As always, don't feel afriad to let me know what you think. The story will be uploded every tuesday and thursday. Well that's it from me.
A half year had passed since I'd been sitting in Erwin's office being told that Farlan and Isabel had died on their first and only expedition. Levi on the other hand had survived and continue training to become a full fledge soldier of the survey corps. And I, I had been granted citizenship and had been put in the hands of Gloria Kaufer, an older woman owning a shop selling fabric and sewing supplies in Shiagnshina District. It had been much to take in the last couple of months, not only cooping with Farlan and Isabel's deaths and dealing with the fact that Levi suddenly didn't want me in his life but at the same time having to adapt to the life on the surface and start a new life. Since the underground city was officially just a myth on the surface and most citizens knew little about it Erwin thought it was best for me not to tell people about it. So suddenly I'd become a relative to Mrs Kaufer who'd moved in with her since I couldn't support myself after my husband, a soldier in the survey corps, had died on the latest expedition. Mrs Kaufer of course knew about my true past. She was a very kind and caring woman but among everything strong-minded. When she first laid eyes on me, stepping out of the carriage which had taken me to her home, she'd scolded Erwin over how poorly the survey corps must have feed me during my stay at the headquarters since I was just skin and bones. Then she ushered me inside to get some food in me. Before leaving that day Erwin had yet again reminded me about the demands concerning my continued citizenship which lay on me; first of all, I was now Mrs Valerie Evans, widowed and relative to Mrs Kaufer, second, I was not to interfere or involve myself in Levis life in anyway. If I did not keep to this my citizenship would be withdrawn and I would be back in the underground city within a day. He'd also told me he would come visit me from time to time to see how I was progressing in my life on the surface. Then I'd been left in this foreign city with foreign people feeling like the earth beneath my feet had caved in.
At first I was quite careful and withdrawn, keeping to myself. I was confused, angry and upset and didn't know what to do with everything I'd experienced the last couple of days or how to handle all my emotions. Mrs Kaufer didn't pressure me to much and let me take my time. Of course it didn't take long for it all to boil over and that's when Mrs Kaufer found me one evening slumped down on the floor of my bedroom, crying loudly at the same time trying to catch my breath as it felt as I could not breath and grabbing my chest as it felt like my heart would break in million pieces. She held me and let me cry until I had no more tears to cry but she still held me. When I calmed a little she whispered to me in a calm and comforting voice that the pain would never go away, only that I would learn to live with it. Without knowing she answered the question rolling around in head.
After that my relationship to Mrs Kaufer blossomed well. She became like a second mother to me and after everything that happened over the years I admit it felt quite good that someone was dotting and nagging on me like she did. I soon came to learn that Mrs Kaufers husband and son had been a part of the survey corps. They both had died in their duties and different to me she wasn't angry about it. She told me her husband used to say that even though he knew what the cost to join the survey corps could be the cost not to join and try to help the humanity could be even worse. It also turned out that her son and Erwin had been in the same training squad and that's how Erwin knew Mrs Kaufer. Listening to her speaking about her husband and son and the survey corps with such ease and respect was quite admirable, it was obvious she didn't blame the survey corps for their deaths. I on the other hand wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to forgive Erwin and the survey corps for what happened to Farlan and Isabel.
Expect from a son she also had a daughter that was married and had two children of her own. Because of that her daughter Anne didn't have the time to help her mother with the shop and household to much. It wasn't like Mrs Kaufer couldn't take care of herself but she pointed out that it was nice with the extra pair of hands and company. Anne did visit as often she could and we became close friends. Well she believed us to be relatives and was surprised she'd never heard about me earlier. Mrs Kaufer reminded Anne about a cousin of hers that died a couple of years ago, intending that I was this dead cousin's daughter. Anne hadn't ponder over it and instead asked me all about my husband and how it came I married so young. This had been the first time I was asked and my mind went blank. Mrs Kaufer had scolded her daughter for asking me such direct questions shortly after my husband's death. Since then I'd become much better telling stories about my late husband, my imagination always taking help from my life with Levi. When asked about his name it was easiest to tell them his name had been Farlan Evans, since it was the closest to some kind of truth I could come up with and since I suspected my citizenship would be withdrawn if using Levis name it had to due.
I spent most of my days taking care of the household, helping Mrs Kaufer in the shop and just living the life of a normal surface citizen. Occasionally I'd helped to take care of a neighbour's children. Mrs Kaufer had known Carla Yeager since she was a child and had helped take care of her and her siblings when they where younger, just like she helped taking care of Carlas children now. Carla had helped Mrs Kaufer as much as she could as well and was happy that I was living there now and helping out. Of course she was sad to hear about my husbands death. Her son, Eren, however was very much interested in everything that had to do with the survey corps and questioned me a lot about my husband and his work as a solider in the survey corps. It was clear Carla and Eren wasn't on the same page when it came to Erens desire to become a survey corps himself. I'd realized early that Eren was more than handful and it remedied me a lot of Isabel with his outgoing attitude. Mikasa on the other hand was silent and calm. I'd found it strange she didn't resemblance her parents but Mrs Kaufer had explained to me that Mikasa was in fact adopted after her parents had died. When I found out her last name being the same as Levis I wondered if they were related, but figured she'd know nothing about it since she was too young. I shrugged it off as a coincidence. It hadn't taken long until I was to one that always to care of Eren and Mikasa whenever Carla needed to get her hands free for a moment. They'd grown on me quite fast and I really enjoyed spending time with them. And together with their friend Armin they were quite the gang and it reminded me a little of Levi, Farlan and Isabel.
"Sounds like you are initiating a good life for yourself." Erwin said from where he sat, watching me with a smile.
"Well I haven't had much of a choice now have I?" I pointed out arrogantly and he laughed slightly. I looked out of the window at two birds soaring in the sky. "But honestly, yes I suppose I have considering the circumstances."
"It delights me to hear you think so." I looked back at him. Not matter how much I disliked this man it felt like I still had a connection to Levi and that brought me relief.
"How is he?" I asked and Erwin watched me closely for a moment.
"He has been focusing on his training, not that he is in much need of it. I reckon he will go far. He is determined on his task." I nodded, and looked out thru the window again a small smile on my lips.
"That's good. As long as he keeps himself alive I'm satisfied." Small updates like this were usual, not revealing too much but enough to keep me satisfied. I'd once asked Erwin if he updated Levi on my being, he'd told me that he only did it if Levi asked. Then a thought came to my mind and I looked back at Erwin. "Would you tell me, if he died?"
"Would you want me to?" Erwin asked and examined me closely again.
"Yes, I would." I said without hesitation and Erwin nodded. "If I died, would you inform him about it?"
"Yes, in case of your unlikely death he would, as agreed, be informed about it. That was something he was clear about that he wanted to know." I smiled. "Does that news make you happy?" Erwin asked, surely seeing my small smile.
"Yes." I simply answered him. Half an hour later I followed Erwin out on the street where his horse was waiting.
"I'll see you in a month's time then." He said and I nodded. "Good bye, Mrs Evans." He said as he got up on his horse.
"Good bye, Captain Smith." I said before he signalled his horse to take up speed. I watched him ride away and sighed to myself. The twittering from two birds made me look up at the sky, smiling at them. At least he cared if I was dead or alive I thought to myself.
"Valerie, dear, come and help me with the laundry." Mrs Kaufer called from inside and I turned towards the house.
"I'm coming Mrs Kaufer."
"How many times do I need to tell you, it's Gloria." She said and patted my cheek when I came inside. I smiled at her. This was my life now; I had to admit it was a good life but still a life without Levi.