Twenty-year-old Jace Morales groaned inwardly as she heard her baby begin to wail. Her duty, though, was to her family, so she rose from her bed, stretched and padded down the hallway of the tiny house she'd been renting.
Jace hadn't even had a last name until she'd escaped Manticore. She had many mission aliases, with fake papers and passes printed up for her, but she couldn't use any of those in case Manticore got wind of her. She'd been reading a book on the military before she'd escaped written by a Somebody Morales. It had impressed her so much she'd adopted their surname in tribute.
She'd toyed with using Victor's surname, as a way of helping him to locate her...
Her infant girl, named Max after a courageous sister of Jace's, was only a few weeks old. The baby fascinated Jace. There was something of HER in there. Granted, Little Max (as Jace had taken to calling her as a way of distinguishing her from the long-absent sister) did look very similar to Jace... at least for a baby.
Little Max twisted from side to side in her crib, and gave Jace what looked like an accusing look as she came in.
"Um, hello," said Jace nervously. She still tiptoed around baby Max. Although as an experienced X5 she'd supervised the young X8s in training, Jace was not very good at dealing with anyone under the age of fourteen. And although the X8s had paid her enough respect, she couldn't exactly bellow at a two-week-old baby.
Max began whimpering.
"I'm sorry," said Jace, and picked up Little Max. She held her somewhat awkwardly. Max leant her head against her mother and closed her eyes. Jace was surprised. Nobody ever took to her this fast.
"Um, all right. This is good, this is natural." There was a pause. "Are you asleep, Little Max?"
Little Max raised her head, dark eyes wide open.
"Obviously not. So what do you want? Food? Um... what else do babies like? You want to go back in your crib?"
She took a step toward the crib and Little Max began to cry again.
"Well, it was only a suggestion!" she snapped, and Little Max was so surprised she fell silent.
"I'm sorry," she said again. "I don't know much about babies for someone responsible for one. You know who'd be perfect to help me right now?"
Little Max gave her mother a questioning look.
"My older sister Tinga. She liked children. I bet she'd be a better mother than I would, right? Not cringe when you want a hug or yell at you when you cry."
She continued thoughtfully. "I'm not very good at children stuff either. I can't play games that don't involve weapons of some kind. I can't afford to get you many toys... not yet. And I don't know many stories. That was my brother Ben's department. Maybe one day I can call up Ben and Tinga and they can come and tell you stories."
Jace imagined Maxie was smiling. "That's wishful thinking though. I bet you'd like a story, right? Children like stories."
She considered this. X5-493... Ben, his name was Ben, it was OK to call him Ben now... he'd told lots of stories when they were young. Everyone had loved him for his stories.
"OK... I think you're too young to hear about the Nomalies in the basement. So... would you like a story about your dad?"
In the fanciful way that Manticore never would have permitted, she imagined the look Little Max gave her was an enthusiastic one.
"Well, once I lived in this place called Manticore. And it was bad there, but I was used to it. I was a soldier, and I liked my work, I liked being praised for my work. I worked really hard at fighting and killing and capturing. So I turned nineteen and the directors saw that I had an excellent record and real prowess as a soldier, but no real outlet for my energy. The directors got one of the lab technicians to teach me about cars at nights."
Jace took a deep breath. She wondered if it was normal to tell these sorts of stories to children.
"Now this lab technician, his name was Victor Owen and I... you promise not to say this to anyone, Max?"
Silence. She knew Max was still awake. She paced around the room with her child cradled in her arms.
"I can trust you. Of course I can, you're a baby and you can't talk and you'll never remember this story by the time you're old enough to. Which won't be for a very long time. Anyhow, this tech Victor... I was a little, I don't know... in love? Yeah, that's how you say it. I was reading these terrible romances on the bus here from Seattle, they use that phrase every two pages. I was, in a very professional and intelligent way (of course), absolutely in love with him. You still with me, Maxie?"
Jace looked down at Little Max, who was still wide awake.
"And I remember one night, after lights-out," she continued on, "I sneaked back to the garage because he said he'd be there working late on something. He was pleasantly shocked that I'd come to see him of my own accord, and he left his project and we went for a walk.
I was terrified. I was a good soldier, and emotion was weakness, and I'd get into so much trouble if I were caught. So we walked into the forest- they'd never think of looking for me there in the dead of night. I told him I wanted to show him something really special. I took him to one of the places we X5s had used to go when we were children, and I still loved them.
We sat down on the ground and he said in a low voice, 'I heard about the ones who ran away. I'm sorry.'
I was confused, Little Max. 'Why?'
'Don't you miss them?'
'No. They were traitors. I hate them'
'They were children, Jace. Your family! Didn't you love any of them?'
I hesitated. 'Just one.'
'Who?'
'A girl,' I said. 'She died before they ran away. Shot in the chest. She was the only one that loved me.'
'How could they not love you?' Victor, he was always saying strange things like that.
'Nobody does.'
'I love you.'
I was shocked out of my mind by that, Max. You know why? Nobody had ever just come out and said that to me. Hell, the best I ever got from someone I was close to was 'You're all right sometimes, Jace, in small doses.' You're going to have an amazing life, Max, OK?"
Little Max yawned.
"I... I promise. You're not going to grow up like me, feeling miserable and angry because you think nobody loves you. I was like that when I was young... and I lost the only one I thought did love me. I don't even think your Aunt Max in Seattle loves me now, but looking back, kid, I think she did when we were little. She didn't really have much of a way of showing it, though. Believe you me, I was not a lovable child.
So anyway, Victor started talking like he used to, saying, 'I wish things were different- one day, you're going to leave this place with me, right?'
'It's not that easy, Victor. They own me. I'm their science project. Face it, I'm not even entirely human.'
And so your dad said to me, he said, 'Nobody owns you but you, Jace, for God's sakes. You're a person.'
'Not even you?' I asked sarcastically.
Victor replied, 'Especially not me. I'm just around to hold you up as a goddess.'
I looked at him oddly- Victor often said things, and I wouldn't get that he was trying to make me laugh right away. So he'd always say, 'That's a joke, Jace.' Dumb, huh?"
She could feel Little Max falling asleep.
"I bet you'd prefer it if you had a father around- at least one parent who wouldn't wince when they touched you, Little Max. I don't know. Maybe I should have left with him. I'm a soldier. I wonder what that makes you?"
She put Little Max in her crib and pulled her blanket over her legs, tucking and pulling at it.
"Tinga would be so proud of Jace the mommy," she laughed softly. "Goodnight, Max."
Jace resolved then and there that as odd a childhood as Max Morales was undoubtedly going to have, with a simplified X5 for a mother, she was going to make it the most brilliant one in the world.
* * *
DISCLAIMER: 'Dark Angel' belongs to James Cameron and Fox. Not me. So don't sue.
NOTE: I have another story about Jace and Little Max posted here at ffn.net called 'Finding Her Past'- Little Max is ten years old in that fic. For anyone who has read both this and FHP, I am working INSANELY to cure my writer's block.
Jace hadn't even had a last name until she'd escaped Manticore. She had many mission aliases, with fake papers and passes printed up for her, but she couldn't use any of those in case Manticore got wind of her. She'd been reading a book on the military before she'd escaped written by a Somebody Morales. It had impressed her so much she'd adopted their surname in tribute.
She'd toyed with using Victor's surname, as a way of helping him to locate her...
Her infant girl, named Max after a courageous sister of Jace's, was only a few weeks old. The baby fascinated Jace. There was something of HER in there. Granted, Little Max (as Jace had taken to calling her as a way of distinguishing her from the long-absent sister) did look very similar to Jace... at least for a baby.
Little Max twisted from side to side in her crib, and gave Jace what looked like an accusing look as she came in.
"Um, hello," said Jace nervously. She still tiptoed around baby Max. Although as an experienced X5 she'd supervised the young X8s in training, Jace was not very good at dealing with anyone under the age of fourteen. And although the X8s had paid her enough respect, she couldn't exactly bellow at a two-week-old baby.
Max began whimpering.
"I'm sorry," said Jace, and picked up Little Max. She held her somewhat awkwardly. Max leant her head against her mother and closed her eyes. Jace was surprised. Nobody ever took to her this fast.
"Um, all right. This is good, this is natural." There was a pause. "Are you asleep, Little Max?"
Little Max raised her head, dark eyes wide open.
"Obviously not. So what do you want? Food? Um... what else do babies like? You want to go back in your crib?"
She took a step toward the crib and Little Max began to cry again.
"Well, it was only a suggestion!" she snapped, and Little Max was so surprised she fell silent.
"I'm sorry," she said again. "I don't know much about babies for someone responsible for one. You know who'd be perfect to help me right now?"
Little Max gave her mother a questioning look.
"My older sister Tinga. She liked children. I bet she'd be a better mother than I would, right? Not cringe when you want a hug or yell at you when you cry."
She continued thoughtfully. "I'm not very good at children stuff either. I can't play games that don't involve weapons of some kind. I can't afford to get you many toys... not yet. And I don't know many stories. That was my brother Ben's department. Maybe one day I can call up Ben and Tinga and they can come and tell you stories."
Jace imagined Maxie was smiling. "That's wishful thinking though. I bet you'd like a story, right? Children like stories."
She considered this. X5-493... Ben, his name was Ben, it was OK to call him Ben now... he'd told lots of stories when they were young. Everyone had loved him for his stories.
"OK... I think you're too young to hear about the Nomalies in the basement. So... would you like a story about your dad?"
In the fanciful way that Manticore never would have permitted, she imagined the look Little Max gave her was an enthusiastic one.
"Well, once I lived in this place called Manticore. And it was bad there, but I was used to it. I was a soldier, and I liked my work, I liked being praised for my work. I worked really hard at fighting and killing and capturing. So I turned nineteen and the directors saw that I had an excellent record and real prowess as a soldier, but no real outlet for my energy. The directors got one of the lab technicians to teach me about cars at nights."
Jace took a deep breath. She wondered if it was normal to tell these sorts of stories to children.
"Now this lab technician, his name was Victor Owen and I... you promise not to say this to anyone, Max?"
Silence. She knew Max was still awake. She paced around the room with her child cradled in her arms.
"I can trust you. Of course I can, you're a baby and you can't talk and you'll never remember this story by the time you're old enough to. Which won't be for a very long time. Anyhow, this tech Victor... I was a little, I don't know... in love? Yeah, that's how you say it. I was reading these terrible romances on the bus here from Seattle, they use that phrase every two pages. I was, in a very professional and intelligent way (of course), absolutely in love with him. You still with me, Maxie?"
Jace looked down at Little Max, who was still wide awake.
"And I remember one night, after lights-out," she continued on, "I sneaked back to the garage because he said he'd be there working late on something. He was pleasantly shocked that I'd come to see him of my own accord, and he left his project and we went for a walk.
I was terrified. I was a good soldier, and emotion was weakness, and I'd get into so much trouble if I were caught. So we walked into the forest- they'd never think of looking for me there in the dead of night. I told him I wanted to show him something really special. I took him to one of the places we X5s had used to go when we were children, and I still loved them.
We sat down on the ground and he said in a low voice, 'I heard about the ones who ran away. I'm sorry.'
I was confused, Little Max. 'Why?'
'Don't you miss them?'
'No. They were traitors. I hate them'
'They were children, Jace. Your family! Didn't you love any of them?'
I hesitated. 'Just one.'
'Who?'
'A girl,' I said. 'She died before they ran away. Shot in the chest. She was the only one that loved me.'
'How could they not love you?' Victor, he was always saying strange things like that.
'Nobody does.'
'I love you.'
I was shocked out of my mind by that, Max. You know why? Nobody had ever just come out and said that to me. Hell, the best I ever got from someone I was close to was 'You're all right sometimes, Jace, in small doses.' You're going to have an amazing life, Max, OK?"
Little Max yawned.
"I... I promise. You're not going to grow up like me, feeling miserable and angry because you think nobody loves you. I was like that when I was young... and I lost the only one I thought did love me. I don't even think your Aunt Max in Seattle loves me now, but looking back, kid, I think she did when we were little. She didn't really have much of a way of showing it, though. Believe you me, I was not a lovable child.
So anyway, Victor started talking like he used to, saying, 'I wish things were different- one day, you're going to leave this place with me, right?'
'It's not that easy, Victor. They own me. I'm their science project. Face it, I'm not even entirely human.'
And so your dad said to me, he said, 'Nobody owns you but you, Jace, for God's sakes. You're a person.'
'Not even you?' I asked sarcastically.
Victor replied, 'Especially not me. I'm just around to hold you up as a goddess.'
I looked at him oddly- Victor often said things, and I wouldn't get that he was trying to make me laugh right away. So he'd always say, 'That's a joke, Jace.' Dumb, huh?"
She could feel Little Max falling asleep.
"I bet you'd prefer it if you had a father around- at least one parent who wouldn't wince when they touched you, Little Max. I don't know. Maybe I should have left with him. I'm a soldier. I wonder what that makes you?"
She put Little Max in her crib and pulled her blanket over her legs, tucking and pulling at it.
"Tinga would be so proud of Jace the mommy," she laughed softly. "Goodnight, Max."
Jace resolved then and there that as odd a childhood as Max Morales was undoubtedly going to have, with a simplified X5 for a mother, she was going to make it the most brilliant one in the world.
* * *
DISCLAIMER: 'Dark Angel' belongs to James Cameron and Fox. Not me. So don't sue.
NOTE: I have another story about Jace and Little Max posted here at ffn.net called 'Finding Her Past'- Little Max is ten years old in that fic. For anyone who has read both this and FHP, I am working INSANELY to cure my writer's block.