Blurred Axis

Embellishing your horrendous mood are the abrupt waves of hate you sense in your general direction. You sigh and look up to see a pair of longing eyes, brilliant sea-blues with wavering emotions directed at you. Yeah, you're fucking paranoid, and you wish you had a cigarette. You finger the hole in the sheets you're laying upon, avoiding the intent stare from the man whose hovering above you.

"What is it, West?"

"She's been gone for almost a year, now. Can you look me in the eye once, brüder?"

"Not everything I do is out of my own accord. Involuntary actions or some shit. I just don't want to try anything."

You sigh into his embrace and pick apart his every flaw in your head to forget the fact that he could tell everything about you in one glance. The dancing between you two is nostalgic almost, to when you were with her. Except his smiles made your heart flutter with an abashed warmness different from hers. It made you want to bash his stupid face in, verdammt. It made you forget about her for a few seconds, but only a few.

This is your little brother, not a lover whose purpose was to fill every part of your being with his. His purpose was not to fill the voids and create memories and love you- he didn't know when these lines had fuzzed- but Ludwig did make you want to stay in the universe, forever, sometimes.

It wasn't supposed to happen. He should have never let her fought- Elizabeta wasn't fragile by any means, but you still love her no matter where the fuck she is. You still regret ever letting her slip her hands around your waist and tell you that she'd kick your ass if you didn't make it back. You choke back your laughter and replace it with tears.

"Don't cry." He said sternly.

His voice was etched with malice, hate almost. You feared it. Your brother wasn't always the most happiest, outgoing, and emotional man- but by no means have you heard such poison roll from his mouth. You grow to accept it whenever you spoke of Elizabeta to him. Maybe it was he who was in love with you. Maybe you didn't care, but as you put the cigarette in your mouth and searched for your lighter, he took it out with his lips and gave you a wet kiss, deep and harsh.

You felt yourself reach for his neck as you wrapped your hands around him, pulling him closer. His erection pressed against you, and you felt yourself get hard and heavy. His thighs were touching yours, and his hands moved beneath his own body to remove your pants. He moved away from your mouth, to kiss your chest and drive your senses wild with his tongue.

He put his mouth on your penis, the hard warmth in his mouth throbbing painfully with every dip of his head. He bobbed faster and you moved with his mouth in perfect sync, as you moaned without thoughts, as you gripped the sheets beneath you two without pain.

You felt him probe a finger in you, and you fucking lost it there. He continued, knowing exactly what you wanted. As disgusted as you were by your neediness, your complete lack of control- it had washed away as he stuck the second lubricated finger in gingerly. He stopped sucking you, his mouth filled with semen, and began to massage his own dick. he closed his eyes and continued fingering you.

He mounted on top of you, placing his penis at your entrance. You whimpered almost, the pleasure and pain intermingling with your lack of control. His penis was larger than yours, and it almost hurt, but he went slowly. He panted as he worked his way in faster. You were tight, and he grew more aroused with every passing second. He felt his balls hit you as he drove his penis in and out faster and faster, and you called out his name, ashamed to be screaming his name in such pleasure. But then again, he did know you best. And out of the men and women you've been with, he's one of the best fuckers.

He came into you, his eyes half-lidded in pleasure as he stared into yours with such ripe ecstasy. You wished you were with such passion, but it had faded as the years had passed. His pure aqua eyes pierced your crimson ones in such a way, that they held more than just the ultimate truth and the guilt-ridden lust. You wanted to bludgeon him and hurt him and hate him because god wasn't this supposed to be disgusting?

So much for leaving the fruit alone, Adam and Eve.

"I'm so sorry." He muttered as he buried his face into the pillow. His bare ass was chiseled, and you were trying to tell yourself not to stare. You sighed and grinned a stupid grin.

"You say that every time we have sex, you big idiot."

"I'm always sorry after we have sex."

"Are you sorry with Feliciano?"

"I'm sorry for Feliciano."

"Why is that?"

"He has sex with someone he can never love. Someone he trusts to never hurt him- but if I keep loving him so much without getting anything in return, I just might snap."

"Maybe you have already. I mean I'm-"

"Don't say it. This shouldn't be put in words. It'll make it real, almost."

"But it is."

"And it will be if we let it happen again. We both need to grow up."

"Yeah, I don't think you are worthy of having sex with someone this awesome." Ludwig broke into a chuckle, before letting the smile fall of his face in a matter of seconds.

"You're still stupid, bruder."

"Yeah." You sighed into the pillow. You held the perfect countenance; an obnoxiously confident and fun-loving bastard with a taste for bad humor and lots of alcohol- but you were hiding, weren't you Didn't everyone around you know this? So why did you continue, why didn't you let anyone into your world?

His eyes stared into your back. They always watched you intently. You were each other's tools of survival; he needed you to forget the fact that feliciano was too fickle, too scared, too loving to be completely in love with him.

And you used him until you could move on and forget the one person that managed to make you crack, the one that made you feel like love more than just feeling. She was undoubtedly beautiful. You didn't want to imagine her having a corpse. You didn't want to imagine her in anyone else's hands. Yet you wanted to imagine anything about her- her beautiful pale brown hair, to her green eyes that changed with intense feeling.

You still remembered how excited she got when she found out that you had sex with men. She excused herself with an awkward look and ran to her room embarrassed. and how she didn't want to see you in case you thought she was weird. You just poked her in the gut and told her she'd always be weird to you- and then she melted and you did too and kissed her and closed your eyes.

Remembrance wouldn't heal things. You were indebted to her, your whole life almost, because she made you happy, finally. You two were happy. Everyday was a lifetime and every night was sealed with the hidden anticipation of the next time you'd get to see her smile, or pout, or even cry- somehow she made everything fucking adorable.

But your tears weren't something anyone should see. So when those aqua eyes painfully watched you seize in your pain quietly, you realized at least he'd be there until the bloody mess would wash away with something more beautiful than anything else. Until then, you had him. And he had you.

Maybe Elizabeta wasn't dead. In fact, you heard her voice sometimes. You heard it in your cries, you heard it in your dreams. In fact, you believed her voice would always make sure to reach you. Even when you made an idiotic decision, her annoyed voice made you realize you were just a fuck-up. And then she'd kiss your insecurities and tell you that you were more than that.

You woke up and slept with her every day and night. Yet those aqua eyes had no idea. They just kept watching you, loving you. You hoped you would never grow to love them back, but you did regardless of whatever it was you two have while she was gone.

Maybe she missed you too. Maybe Feliciano would get over that little boy from his past. And maybe Feliciano would see your brother as the gem he was to you. Maybe these things weren't unsalted desires, unsavory dreams and unfurnished wishes to be forgotten over time.

When does a human really open it's eyes?

You sigh into his kiss and imagine her. You hoped one day you'd wake up and her brilliant green eyes would shine upon you like time had stretched to give you more than a lifetime together.

He'd breathe upon your skin and cry by himself for that boy with a dazzling smile. He wasn't in love with you, but with the idea that you saw something in him no one else did. He hoped one day Feliciano would break into a million little pieces so he could love each one so fiercely, so vigorously, that Feliciano would soon belong to him.

Your hearts were so human. Your feelings so far from placid, far from still and yet so breathing and real.

You would continue to love each other until one of you broke and saw the real world.

But maybe in the real world would be Elizabeta, rolling her eyes at you and ready to love you again. Maybe Feliciano was on the other side, crying his being away waiting for Ludwig.

You'd wait. You wouldn't disappear, until she was here again to stop you. She was just as miserable as you were. Your feelings wouldn't reach her, and the rain kept hurting the wood of the trees outside without remorse. Unperturbed as you felt yourself and ludwig fall asleep, you wished that the sun wouldn't come if it meant you and him could both find your loves again.

But things weren't easy nor hard. They couldn't define every single occurrence in the universe. She'd be back. You were too swept away by this whole love thing to consider any other option anymore. You'd rather sink deeper into the trenches of the earth if she were waiting for you to find her there. You just knew you two were to be together again. You slept without a dream that night.

A/N: PLEASE READ; so this was a spur of the moment writing. i don't usually write in 2nd person, but i just felt like it. & i used to not like prussia/hungary but i just started liking it, and this is the first time i've written about the two. in fact, i never even read a prussia/hungary fic but now since i like the pair, i shall. i might just make a sequel to this, and make it in the other two's point of views. that is, if i get good reviews/feedback on this. oh, the title is from an anime song & it means "corrupted" in a way. & also, hate/love is both accepted. if there is anything inaccurate/weird here, let me know and i'll see to make changes. thank you~