Grieving

Some things never heal

I watched as you were able to move onto the next meal

Face emotionless and blank

No thought of him. No thought of Neal

He died in the field a sword pierced through his chest

He tried to defend his country, he tried to protect me, and he tried his best

But he fell, blood staining his face that was ever so pale

I suppose it was the will of the gods, to somehow prove to us, mortals are frail

The news hit me sudden and hard

My mind still wants revenge, but my heart tells me to let it go. It was a hidden war.

That was barely a year ago after his wedding to you

How are you coping now?

Ever since he asked you, and you sealed that vow

I see your face, the unseen conflict rages inside

You try and push it aside

But it keeps rising to the surface of your mind

Leaving you defenseless, broken and weeping

With the pieces of your shattered heart left for your keeping

You never had the chance to give him the proper goodbye

You think he's still with you; you can only be comforted with this one lie

But reality comes up to slap you in the face, to tell you that you're being silly

You sit by the pond and put a flower in the water and watch as it glides away

You aren't yourself anymore, drifting away like that floating water lily

Often looking up from the surface of the table expecting to see him

But you look instead into a hope

You're on the edge of your chance, out on the rim

You're slowly losing all control

There's a void in your heart

An empty space, a hole

That he used to fill

There's no cure for heartbreak, no tonic or pill

A healer and a knight

Neal's death was not right

There's only darkness now, no more light

All you can do now is just to wait

Wait for death to open the gate

Only then can you be free

From this never-ending misery

The next morning, I searched and found you in a garden's rosebush, dead

Your blood staining the white roses, red

Was this out of heartbreak or impulse?

That you had the courage to plunge the knife into your heart

For you, my friend, had only begun the journey, barely finished your part

All I ask now is that you do this, for all of us and me:

Rest in Peace Neal and Yuki