Hello again!

This is a one-shot inspired by the events of the last episode. I hope you like it. Enjoy! :)

The sun was burning on the fabric of his uniform, beads of sweat not only caused by the heat. Before him stood a child, a lethal weapon in his hand. One foot before the other, closing the distance between him and the young boy. The soles of his army boots made a cracking noise when the small rocks of the desert were crushed under his feet. His heart was pounding in his chest.

His hands covered the cold metal, causing shivers to run down his spine. The device that could change lives, even going as far as ending life. The only thing he had to do was press it. Press it hard enough for the device to work.

"No, don't do it", he said in English, the desperation evident in his voice. This wasn't the way it was supposed to end. This wasn't something he wanted to do. But somehow, in the back of his head, he knew he had to. One wrong move could change everything.

The young boy looked at him, his eyes piercing right through like a grenade could vaporize anyone who came too close. The sun made the boy's face shine, only this time it wasn't highlighting his best features. His hand was shaking, the gun unstable under the circumstances. How could anyone ask this of a young boy? How could they convince them that this was the only way? How could they take innocence away and turn it into something bad, something evil?

"Don't do this, mate." Another attempt, hoping deep down that it wasn't in vain. "There is another way, I promise."

The boy shook his head. "No, there is not." His accent was thick, his emotions intertwined with the few English words he could speak. "I need to do this."

There was a loud bang, the echo roaming around too long. Then there was silence, making his action irreversible. Blood was pumping out of the small body, too much blood. It was streaming down on the dirty surface of the desert, the bright red colour mixed with the orange, powdery substance.

He opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling. There reigned silence in the room, only this silence was different. Next to him laid the person disturbing the silence, letting him know that he wasn't alone. He rubbed his face, before letting out a deep side. He rose up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He let his head rest in his hands, hoping for the nightmare to go away.

It had been a long time since he thought about his army days, thought about his life before becoming a paramedic. The last time he was confronted with his past was when Kenny came to Holby, taking him and Big Mac hostage in the ambulance bay. But that was a long time ago.

He stood up, making his way downstairs. He walked over to the kitchen, the remains of their evening dinner still scattered across his dinner table. He filled the empty glass with water, taking a sip and letting the cold water take this bad dream away from him. At least that's what he hoped would happen. He couldn't go down this road, not again, not now. This wasn't the time for him to go through it, all over again.

He put the glass on the kitchen counter, making his way to the living room. He put on the TV, letting his head rest against the couch pillow. The TV illuminated the small living room, shining upon the glass coffee table in front of him. Several unread magazines were scattered across it, hoping to be read once.

In the corner of his eyes he saw a small silhouette appearing, like an angel in the night. "He", she said, adjusting to the bright light by blinking her yes. She was only wearing a plain white t-shirt, probably one of his. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"Couldn't sleep, I guess."

She sat down next to him, letting her head rest on his shoulder. Something she'd done in the ED today, only this time she added the kisses on his upper arm, letting him know she was there. "What's on your mind?" Her hand made its way down to his, intertwining their fingers gently.

He looked at her. "You've got enough going on right now."

"We're in this together, remember?" She sat up straight. "I want to know, Iain. Even if I can't do anything about it." A small smile appeared on his face. She was strong, stronger than he'd ever thought she was. Even with everything that was going on she wanted to be there for him. No-one had ever been like that.

He pressed his lips together, swallowing hard. He prepared for the words he wanted to say, what he wanted to say to her. "It's been a long time since I held a gun."

"Iain." She only said his name, didn't need to say anything. There was no need to say more than that. He knew she cared.

"It can do so much damage, Reet." She put her arms around him, her chin resting on his shoulder. She didn't reply, simply letting the silence encourage him to talk to her. "I killed a young boy once. He was barely twelve years old. He had a machinegun in his hand."

He paused for a moment, feeling the lump in his throat getting bigger. He had talked to someone about this, right after he left the army. It had helped, he could admit that. But somehow, after all the sessions with the shrink, he hoped the bad memories would stay away. That he could just shove them in a box and bury them. Out of sight, out of mind.

"I know the consequences of pulling the trigger." His confession submerged in pain, his voice cracking with every syllable he said out loud.

"You couldn't have done anything else."

"I know that now." He pinched the bridge of his noise. "Took me a long time to realise that."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He kissed her, all of his emotions put together in this one move. His let his hand through her short, blonde hair, stroking it gently. His other hand found its way on her upper black, slowly making its way down.

They broke apart, looking into each other's eyes. These were the moments that scared him, moments where he felt powerless. She only had to look at him, her brown eyes filled with love that made his walls come down. He couldn't hide anywhere, even if he wanted to. Maybe, maybe it was time he realised he didn't need to anymore.

"Thank you." The words came out as a whisper. He stroke her soft cheek, putting one of her blonde locks behind her ear. "I love you, Reet."

Tears began to form in her eyes. "I love you too." He leaned against the couch pillow, while she let her face nestling against his chest. He closed his eyes, feeling his worries slowly fading away.

Thanks for reading. A review would make my day!