I was out hunting with Esme when it happened. I hated hunting trips. As much as I craved blood, I couldn't drink it without feeling disgusted with myself. Carlisle applauded my self-control - it had been nearly two years since my transformation and I'd never once tasted human blood - but it wasn't out of a sense of compassion like it was for him. It was out of hatred for what he'd turned me into, hatred I knew would completely consume me if I ever gave in to my vampire instincts. Even feeding on animals would have been vomit-inducing if I were still capable of feeling nauseated.
I was tracking a large deer when I smelled it: the sweet-smelling blood of a human. Quite a lot of it. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd run the quick two miles to the source of the aroma. I stopped short at the sight of a massive bear, easily the largest I'd ever encountered. That brief instant of observation cleared my head enough that I was able to regain some control of myself, and I stopped breathing to better block the intoxicating scent.
The bear was mauling a man sprawled out on the ground, his clothes stained red. But his heart - I could hear it still laboring to continue beating. As I stood deliberating on what I should do, I noticed the man's dark curls. Unbidden, an image of Vera's baby came to mind. The beautiful dark-haired baby I'd so envied. The baby I could never have.
A life as long as mine is filled with many regrets, but what I did next is not one of them. I decided to save that man's life.
Lunging at the bear, I killed the creature in a matter of seconds, but even that short time felt too much. As I knelt over the dark-haired man I knew that he couldn't last much longer. There was so much blood. I trembled with the effort it took to not end his life myself.
I had to get him to Carlisle. Carlisle could save him - one way or another.
Cautiously, I began to lift him off the ground, trying to move him as little as possible. He was not at all heavy, not to me, but he was an especially large man and bulky to carry in my slim arms. I shifted him to keep a better grip and he let out a low moan.
"Hold on," I whispered, careful not to inhale. "I'm going to save you. Just hold on."
For a moment, his eyes fluttered open and he held my gaze. I let myself stare into his sky-blue eyes for a fraction of a second, then took off running.
It was a good hundred miles to get home to Carlisle. I would make it. I had to.
Eighty miles left. The scent of the man's blood was going to drive me into a frenzy. I pictured his eyes, their mesmerizing color, and tried to block out everything but that image and my path home.
Fifty miles. I was exhausted. Partially from running, since I was better at a sprint than a marathon. But mostly from my efforts to not give in to the tantalizing aroma of the blood that was pouring out of him.
Thirty. His heartbeat was so faint.
Twenty. So faint that a few times I feared he had died.
Ten. I began mentally screaming for Edward, trying to tell him what was happening, praying that Carlisle would be ready for me when I arrived.
"Hold on. Please, hold on."