Disclaimer: I do not own Pet Shop of Horrors. All that belongs to Matsuri Akino... I'm just borrowing them for a little while.

A/N: Takes place during V4's Dracula. As I write this, I have no idea if D has been in Leon's car before... So bear with me if I was wrong about it being his first time.

Oh and in case you couldn't tell from that little bit of innuendo, this fic does just what the rest of the series does and makes oblique references to the possibility of a romantic relationship between Leon and D. If you don't like that... well, I'm not sure what you're doing reading PSoH anyway! It's there, but it's subtle. If you can ignore it in the manga, you can probably ignore it here.

Desperate Measures

Detective Leon Orcot was frowning as he pulled up in front of Count D's pet shop. He'd been frowning for most of the day - the latest body on this freaky vampire case was just too close to the Count for comfort, in more ways than one. Leon had arrived on the scene just before they'd zipped up the body bag. The sight of the face framed by dark hair, pale and bloodless, had raised an unfortunate chill in Leon's blood, and a lump in his throat that just wouldn't go away.

Leon hadn't needed instruction from the chief to get back to guarding D - he was already headed for his car by the time the man caught up with him and made the suggestion. Having seen the newest victim first-hand, however, Leon was determined to do a damn sight more than guard... He was going to make sure that the Count was safe - whether D liked it or not.

He got out of the car with today's sweets package and locked it absent-mindedly, glaring at the key when it caught in the lock, as it always did. He crossed the sidewalk and walked through the double doors of the building that housed the pet shop. He headed down a short flight of stairs and tugged at the lavishly decorated oriental doors, scanning the slightly hazy room beyond with a wary eye.

"Count?"

A faint reply from the back of the shop, past the lounge and coffee table where they usually drank tea and ate ridiculously sweet little pieces of nothing off fancy trays - well, D did, anyway.

"Is that you, Detective?" From beyond the oriental doors at the other end of the room there was movement, and then D appeared, his usual half-pleased, half-mocking smile tugging at his lips. Q-chan, the weird bat that Leon pretended didn't look like a rabbit and pretended didn't have horns, fluttered squeaking in his wake. "You're a little early today. Never mind... tea?"

"Sure, thanks." The words came unbidden. Leon supposed he was used to this by now. Probably wasn't a great idea to get comfortable around a man you were tryin to pack off to prison... or with someone who was a potential murder victim... Leon grimaced and tried to think of something else for a little while, if only so the Count didn't notice that something was up. He was entirely too perceptive, sometimes.

"Is something the matter, Detective?" A curious glance through a dark sheet of hair made Leon's blood freeze all over again, the sight of that poor Japanese kid laid out with dried blood trickles down his neck grimly fresh in his mind.

"Ah..." He sat down on one of the lounge chairs and winced a little as he brushed a hand through his wild blond hair. "Well, I guess there's no harm telling you... there's been another victim. 'The vampire', you know? I just got back from... seeing it..."

"I see." Damn, the inflection in the guy's voice didn't even change, like he was talking about a skink whose tail a kid had pulled off... except of course that the Count would have been livid about the skink situation. Leon's glare was a little subdued as the Count laid a silver tray edged with Chinese dragons down on the coffee table. D removed his own tea cup from the tray and picked up the sugar pot. Leon leaned forward to snag his own tea and drank it plain - he knew from experience that the Count would be too long with the sugar pot to bother waiting for it.

"Yeah." There was nothing else he could say, was there? D would refuse police custody, even though it was for his own good. After all my threats, he'd probably be worried I'd never let him out again... He sought for a way to change the subject, but fortunately - or perhaps unfortunately - D found one before he could.

"What is this station of yours like, Detective? I can't say I've ever visited." D dropped what may have been his seventh or his seventeenth spoon of sugar into the cup and stirred it meditatively as he spoke. Leon thought fast.

"How do I describe the station?" He asked rhetorically. "It's like trying to describe a colour. I'll have to give you a tour some time... matter of fact, we could do it today. I'm meant to be guarding you anyway, and there's no place safer for you than the station." Leon took a gulp of tea and barely managed to restrain a grin. "Besides, no vampire's gonna try to snag a snack from a moving vehicle."

"I think you've forgotten chasing the ice-cream truck as a child," D pointed out with a small smile. But he nodded. "I believe I would enjoy that, Detective." The small smile remained, his eyes, one gold, one violet, glimmering with amusement. Leon sighed.

"Yeah, whatever. Finish your cake then, kiddo, and we'll get moving. If we get there in time I can introduce you to a couple of my friends instead of the night shift guys."

Count D pouted a few moments at being called 'kiddo', but the expression faded when he unwrapped Leon's gift of La Primvell's strawberry-covered chocolate cake, in place of the one he had destroyed. Not that D knew that. "Oh, Detective... even on the way from a crime-scene, you're thinking of me." The glint in the amber eye was mischievous now. Leon shrugged, a little more forcedly than his snort had been.

"The last thing I needed was for you to go out looking for candy in China Town with a killer on the loose."

D gave what seemed to Leon a knowing smile, but said no more as he polished off a slice of the cake, licking icing from his long, pale fingers while Leon glared pointedly into the depths of his tea cup. Finally the Count was finished making a spectacle of himself, removing every last skerrick of sugar from beneath his impractically long nails, and Leon pushed himself up away from the couch with a soft sigh of almost-relief. Sometimes - most of the time, actually - he got the feeling that D was making fun of him. He was pretty sure the jokes weren't suitable for children under fifteen years. He pursed his lips and shoved his hands moodily into his pockets as the Count made a show of tidying up the pet shop and persuading Q-chan to stay put - of course, the bat-rabbit didn't listen to a word, following them up the stairs and out the front door. D sighed as he locked it behind them.

"We won't be long, will we, Detective? I don't like to leave my animals for long..."

Leon's grin was forced as he replied, "Nah. We're five minutes away, tops, and the station's not exactly Taj Mahal... we'll be back before you know it." He could have sworn D watched him blandly a little longer than strictly necessary before moving towards the car. He was concerned his lie had been spotted before D wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"Detective, when was the last time you had this - vehicle - cleaned...?" He sounded almost ill. "This cheongsam is quite delicate..."

Leon's worry was swept away by indignance. "Hey, don't you be bad-mouthing my car... she's just misunderstood." He unlocked it and managed a wink at D before he slid inside. "Besides, you wear that thing around all sorts of crazy animals. It can't be that delicate."

"None of the creatures that dwell within the pet shop are quite as noxious as that." D gestured gingerly towards a polystyrene cup on the floor of the front seat that might once have been full of coffee. It now contained a largish fuzzy green-orange mass. Leon grimaced and leaned over the hand brake to tug a paper fast-food bag over the cup.

"There ya go, good as new."

D looked doubtful, and Q-chan disgusted, but the slender man slid gracefully into the seat, careful to keep his feet and the fabric of the cheongsam far from the hidden polystyrene cup. "Out of sight, out of mind, Detective?" The smooth voice held a hint of annoyance. Leon turned the key in the ignition and fiddled with the radio.

"Look, Count, if it means that much to you, I'll have the damn dress dry-cleaned, okay? You're the one who wanted to come, so shut the fuck up and enjoy the ride." He ignored the outraged squeaking of Q-chan as he pulled out onto the road and started humming along to an old disco number on the radio. Must be a flash-back.

D stared meditatively out the window and watched shop-fronts pass by.

Leon, uncomfortable, turned the radio down. "Uh... actually, Count, that cake... well, see, that gay guy..."

"The Marquis," D interrupted pointedly, looking away from the window. "What about him?"

"Yeah, the... Marquis. He was going to give that cake to you yesterday, and I, uh, sort of ruined it. By accident. So... so really, that was from him, I guess, not me."

D was silent for a few moments. "...I did think it was rather too thoughtful of you, Detective, given the circumstances. And also the quality of the normal gifts you bring..."

"What's wrong with my damn cakes?" Leon demanded before he could help himself, feeling a little outraged. Hell, the guy was lucky he got anything at all, let alone cakes that Leon himself didn't even enjoy half the time. "Anyway, he had flowers as well. A great big bunch of them. Roses. And some stupid bottle of wine..." Now he thought about it, his gifts really did pale in comparison to that guy's...

When he next glanced at D, there was a mysterious little smile lurking about his lips and an intrigued quirk to his eyebrows. "Is that so...? Well, it was a pity about the cake, but the wine and the flowers... I should not have accepted them, in any case."

Leon raised his eyebrows as he turned a corner. "Really? Why not?"

A soft chuckle from beside him. "Why, accept gifts from another when I have a big, strapping young police detective around? Never!"

Leon groaned. "D...! You're worse than Jill, I swear..."

He pulled up in front of the station and D was still smiling merrily. "Who is this Jill?" Leon shook his head as he kicked his door open.

"I hope we're too goddamn late and she's gone home... I don't even want to think about the shit I'd cop introducing you to her." He slammed the door and looked at D over the top of the car. His eyes were still amused, still smiling... still trusting, more to the point. Damn. "Come on... I'll show you around."

He led the Asian man up the steps of the police station, waved to the men on the front desk. "Just one of our marked men," he told them. "Showing him around just in case he needs to get comfortable." One of the guys, Connor, nodded to him.

"No problem, Orcot. You'll want a keychain."

He gave Leon a ring of keys and waved them on down the hall. D looked doubtful as they walked. "They seem very... relaxed."

"They know me. If you'd come in alone, you wouldn't go past the first couple rooms without an officer and a pretty good sob story." He gestured to the offices in question. "Interview rooms, monitor rooms, bath room..." A grin. "Light cells, for our minor offenders... my department's upstairs, but we can do that after this, right?" He swept an arm out in front of him and winked at D. "After you."

The Count's expression bespoke pleasure and amusement. Apparently the thought of such gentlemanly behaviour from Detective Orcot was pretty funny stuff. Nevertheless he preceded Leon down the hall that lead to the light holding cells. There was no one in just yet. "Too early in the evening for anyone else to be down here - usually it's just a couple of guys with a little too much to drink, you know?" Getting closer, now. How to go about this? He unlocked the door of the cell that looked the cleanest and gestured inside. "It's pretty good up here. Great beds, pretty comfortable seating..."

D stepped inside the cell past Leon, much to the detective's private celebration, with a small smirk. "Ah, but what of the bay view you promised me?" He walked into the centre of the cell and stood there with his hands clasped behind his back. Leon bit his lip.

"You'll just have to live without it for a while."

D turned back to Leon with a slight smile and faltered at the serious expression on the blond man's face. "Detective...?" He took a hesitant step towards Leon, and then his eyes widened in a horrible understanding of the situation. "No...!"

D lunged, trying to get past Leon out of the cell, but Leon wasn't a detective for nothing. He caught D's left arm as he tried to slip past, pulling it behind the Asian man's back. The right arm soon joined it there, despite D's thrashing. Leon had to squint to see through the frothing mass of D's hair as he wrenched himself back and forth in an effort to get free.

Come on, D. I... I don't want to hurt you.

Slowly, carefully, he pushed the Count out away from his body and thrust him forward, kicking at his knee. D staggered forward and crumpled to the ground, but he caught himself and rose again almost immediately. Leon slammed the door to the cell just as D made it back to the bars.

"What do you think you're doing!" There was blazing fury in the Count's mismatched eyes. Leon didn't want to look at him, and he sure as hell didn't want to listen to the guy's hissy fit. He was probably more upset over the robe or a scratched nail or something, right?

Yeah, Orcot. Right.

"Count, please shut the fuck up." He asked lowly, strained. "This is the safest place for you to be right now."

D was having none of it, grasping at the bars on either side of his face so tightly his pale fingers whitened further. "This is a gross abuse of your authority! I demand to speak with your superior!"

Leon scowled. Well maybe you can once he gets back from mopping up the remains of a man who could be your twin. "I told you I wasn't going to stop till you were behind bars. Too bad this isn't permanent."

D's face sobered somewhat, eyes showing hurt through fury. Leon couldn't look at him any more. He turned away from the bars with a snarl. "Now, behave! I have a bad guy to catch!" There's just no way I'm letting you get hurt. Not till you're behind bars for real. He hunched his shoulders against the betrayed gaze of the Count as he walked away. ...maybe not even then.

He heard the dejected squeak of the cell bed as D sat down, the creaking that meant he'd put a bit more pressure on the chain that held it in place by pulling his feet up to his chest. Leon bit at his lip and scowled as he closed the door behind him. His last word was much too quiet for the Count to hear.

"...sorry."

Please review. Your comments and criticism are appreciated.