The sun beamed down on the Sugar Loaf Mountains of Mexico. England had grown tired of his evil counter part being so nasty to all things great and small, as well as Mr and Mrs Redfield from 34 Harold Road Drive.
So England decided to take Evil England out for a picnic, to teach him some etiquette. However, things did not go terribly well at first. England had pointed to a distant tree, which he had already decided to picnic under. As they were getting nearer a couple, holding hands, were approaching the tree from the other side! Evil England began to draw out his knife, but the other England started forcing his arm down.
'No! That is not how we deal with such conundrums Evil England." He closed his eye's as if to recite a mental text. 'If they do sit down under the tree, we can ask them, very kindly, to move or we can find a place of our own.' He opened his eyes to see the couple were faced down on the ground. He looked across at evil England and saw him posed in a throwing knife position. 'EVIL ENGLAND!'
After the bodies were dealt with the pair began to eat the food. England delved into the fine cuisine of potato salad, cucumber and scotch eggs, which he had brought along. Evil England gobbled ghastly, stuffing his mouth, and did not close it whilst chewing.
During this missed-matched feast, ants from a near by colony, began to crawl onto their tartan rug. England got out a piece of paper and began sweeping away the invading force. Evil England got out a machine gun and sprayed everything. And I mean everything! One in five shots actually hit the ants; the rest became part of the food.
Once Evil England had finished he looked at England and said 'as you're trying to teach me etiquette, I'll teach you how to eat food with lead in it.' He bit heavily into a scotched egg, with a bullet sticking out of it. His teeth crunch and buckled under the strength of the bullet.
They continued on eating their lead filled delicacies. However, the gunfire had not gone unnoticed. Way off in the distance, looking through a pair of binoculars, were three Mexican bandits.
The first one, with his greasy beard licked his lips and said, 'look at those two. Unappreciative of their lead filled luxury.'
The second bandit, with his clown like nose spouted out 'and the way he massacred those ants. Don't they know that ants are the national insect for this country?'
The third one pulled his gun out of his holster and shouted 'let's show them their own massacre.'
They raced down the hill on their ponies, firing their guns and screaming 'Ariba!' England and Evil England were taken by surprise and before long they were staring up the barrels of guns. The first Mexican sneered saying 'goodbye amigos'.
They clicked their guns, but nothing happened. A bulb went on in the second Mexican's head and said, 'we must have emptied the guns when we were coming down the hill.'
They looked at evil England who picked up his machine gun and fired. And all things were resolved, and England and Evil England became the best of friends.
The End