/
Everything feels better when she closes her eyes.
That way she can see things the way she wants it to be.
She would picture herself in a house similar to the one she grew up in, the smell of fresh baked cake filling the air, and the joyous laughter of children drumming in her ears. Then she would go to the source of the noise, entering the room just to be greeted with a chorus of 'Happy birthday's and she looks down and she sees the familiar faces of a blond boy with striking blue eyes and a dark haired little girl with her eyes, grinning at her with a cake in her equally little hands. She kneels down and hugs the young children, very tightly, as if she's not letting them go ever.
That's kind of what she wants.
Then when she glances at her own hands, they're a little bit wrinkled and she smiles, because it feels good to be old; to be normal.
There's no vampire, there's no hybrids. No werewolves, no doppelgangers, witches, nothing. Just a safe, normal world with no danger of supernatural threats. A world where her childhood dreams come true, where she can feel truly in bliss.
But then reality would sink in, eventually, and she's sucked back into the harsh world she's truly living in. She would open her eyes, and she feels alone. Her children are gone. The warm house is gone. The safety she felt before is nowhere to be found. Instead, she finds herself as a vampire, sitting in a barstool drinking with another vampire. The one that has abused, and used her like a rag doll, and tried to kill her multiple times too.
She glances at him, watching as he takes a sip of what probably has been his hundredth drink. They might be drinking together, but he doesn't talk. Neither does she. They just sit there, enjoying each other company. It's not like they're actually talking to each other, anyway. Well, except for his usual snarky comments and her witty and critical comebacks. But there's something that's been nagging her and so she asks,
"How do you get over it? Those dreams you had when you weren't this and how you wish you hadn't been what you are now?"
A part of her is telling her that she's stupid to ask this kind of question to him, of all people. Because it seems he's enjoying this so much. Or he was. He enjoyed killing people and taking advantage of them just because to him his species is in the top of the food chain. It seems (or seemed) like there's no humanity in him, and he's just not the type of person that worries about this kind of thing. But another part of her says that all of this, is just the thick layer of him that not much people can see through. She thinks there's a soul beneath all this, a being just like her, who was once human and once felt too.
He puts his glass away, and falls silent for a moment before he turns to her and replies, "You never do. You just move on, but you never forget and you will never get over it."
She stares at him for a while, then shakes her head and drinks the rest of her drink. Then she closes her eyes, and smiles lightly. She starts to see things the way she wants it to be again.
Maybe it's the drink (if vampire can really get drunk), she doesn't really know. But everything does feel better when she closes her eyes. And it's the closest she can get to feel human.
/
Fin.