AN: Hey! I'm back, and some of you might have seen that I took down some of the chapters in this story. I didn't like them, and there was a lot of annoying typos. I think I have sorted the worst, but there is always the chance that I overlooked something.
I have had a lot of back and forth with this fic, as there were two different directions that I wanted to take it, and I could not decide on which. So therefore, I'm doing both. I'm posting the renewed chapters of the old story here and continuing the story, before I post the other one. Hope you'll like it! There is not much new, just me trying to better the flow that I write in.
It was not supposed to have happened. It was just one of those things that did, and should be forgotten over time. It was a moment of sorrow, heartache, weakness and lust that led to it. Some people might call it fate, but Hermione Granger never was the person to believe in a destiny, she believed that life is what you make it, and that you always make your own path.
It started the evening that the news had reached every corner of wizard-Britain. The news that 'he who must not be named' finally was dead, in a final duel with Harry Potter, the chosen one. People was celebrating in the streets like they had done sixteen years ago, coming out of their hiding places to take in the new world which they hoped roomed much less suffering and grief.
Hermione was placed in a dark corner at the leaky caldron, hidden behind the laughing and joyful people. She had a bottle of firewhisky and a full glass in front of her. Her face was emotionless, cold as stone, with distant tear marks – only noticeable if you looked close.
She could not stop thinking about – no matter how hard she tried; the final battle, and what had happened there. Her love had died hardly an hour after they finally had confessed their love for each other. After Voldemort was dead, it turned out that a stray killingcurse had hit Ron in the panic that accrued when Harry's body went missing. No one had noticed before after the battle, when everyone thought it was over. It hurt her so much, that the boy who always felt overlooked, was not even noticed while dying.
She didn't notice the man before he sat down at the table opposite of her. She shoot her head up, ready to tell the stranger to piss off. She didn't want any company. As she met his eyes and recognised whom the stranger was, her face meddled a little, and she silently passed over the bottle. She knew they shared the same grief. The man muttered a low "thank you" before he took a big swing.
They did not speak much; just silently drank to rest the hopelessness they were feeling. Hermione didn't notice that the man bought another bottle when the first one was empty, and she didn't notice that the bar was slowly emptying itself, before Tom stood before them and apologised for making them leave – it was closing time.
As Hermione and the man slowly and with quite a stumble made their way toward the fireplace the first word between them were spoken for several hours.
"You couldn't stand it either?" He said and gave her a glance with deep hollow eyes. She did not need more words, she knew what he meant. "No, too many people, too little space and way too much crying. I just needed some time alone. Same for you?" He didn't answer straight away, just watched the yellow flames that made his eyes look golden "Yeah, pretty much" he finally said.
Hermione filled a hand with floo-powder and prepared herself mentally to floo back to the Burrow, where a possible interrogation waited her.
The man had seen her hesitation, the aversion to not go home just jet. Before he could get a grip of himself, he heard his own mouth speaking on itself.
"if you're not ready to go home yet, I have an extra bed you can borrow". Before Hermione could think, her only feeling being great relief, she heard her own mouth form the words "Yes, thank you Remus".
This was the night they would later try to forget, the unspeakable night where everything went wrong.
The house was more a cabin than a house; the wall was made of wood with few decorations to cover them. In the living room, there was a brown well-used sofa, an old table and a big sideboard, which roomed a lot of books, some expensive booze and pictures. It was a friendly house, with no unnecessary objects or furniture; it just served its purpose and did it well.
The situation between them was what normally would be considered awkward, but thanks to the alcohol, they did not notice or did not really care. Hermione let herself fall on the sofa, unsure of what to do in an unfamiliar home. She heard Remus rummaging in the house, and he soon joined her with two bottles of butterbeer.
"Where's Teddy?" Hermione asked as she suddenly remembered him, feeling a bit embarrassed that she hadn't thought of the boy at all.
"Andromeda" Remus answered, letting the single name explain everything.
They took a sip of the butterbeer, silence falling again. Remus felt his eyes stinging, and he suddenly realised that he was crying, the first tears he had shed. A sideways glance told him that Hermione also was crying, and he could not find it in him to be embarrassed. He put his arms over her shoulders and pulled her close. Hermione first flinched; the touch making her jump of the unfamiliarity's, however she soon leaned into the embrace. Both of them let the tears run freely.
They absentminded comforted each other and did not notice that their hands were no longer on so innocent places. Hermione's hand, which had been put innocently in her lap, was now gently placed on his shoulder and stroked light lines along the neck. Remus, which had his hand had laid on her shoulders, stroking comforting circels, were now moved to her waist, a little too high. They did not notice what was happening until it was too late. Hermione lifted her head from Remus's shoulder, and met his gaze. His face, which was dragged by grief and the ravages of time, was still attractive for its wild and almost wolfish manner.
The kiss was intense, and both lost their breath. It was filled with an intensity whom none of them knew where came from, it was blood boiling, making them forget just for a little while. Remus had soon pinned her under her and was working fiercely to remove her clothes while kissing her simultaneously. Hermione was doing the same, loosening his belt and removing his shirt in a hurry, she was already ready for him. As his hardness found her heat and he sank deep into her, a sound between a moan and a cry escaped her lips. He buried his head in the crook of her neck, unable to move. As she inpatient wiggled her hips, he slowly started to move until he had found a fast and arithmetic speed. It was as if both tried to fight away the helplessness in their heart, tried to fill the missing space with anything that could make them feel better. They reached the high soon, leaving them in a complete bliss before the numbness settled back into their bones.
Hermione woke in a strange bed, her head was hurting, and she only remembered small glimpses of last night. She snuggled deeper into the embrace, enjoying Ron's strong arms. Ron's...?
She quickly turned around, almost falling out of the bed while doing so. She met a pair of light brown eyes, which looked alarmed and ready to panic. Their eyes locked in an intense gaze in what felt like several minutes but was merely seconds. Resigned Hermione sank back down on the mattress while she pulled the covers over her head and groaned.
"Well, that was unexpected" she said stifled from under the covers, breaking the awkward silence.
"Yeah… do you remember anything?" he said, his usually calm completely vanished from his voice.
"Not really that much" she answered quietly. After a few moments of silence, she removed the sheets from her head and looked at him, "did we do, ehrm, it, you know", she asked uncertainty and shaky. She had some blurry images from last night, one of them were of her removing Remus's shirt, but she hoped it only was a weird dream.
"I assume so, can't remember much, but I am quite sure that happened" he answered soberly. There are certain things you just know, no matter how wasted you have been. Hermione let out a sigh; it didn't come as a surprise, even though she hoped it only had been a dream.
"Guess I should head back home, people are probably worried about me" Hermione finally said and started to get out of bed. She quickly mumbled accio, and all her clothes came flying towards the bed, from all weird places. Her shirt, trousers and bra flew through the door with a bang, while her underwear came from the top of the closet. She ignored Remus slightly amused expression and dressed quickly, ignoring the banging ache in her head. She heard Remus moving behind her, and when she turned around, she saw that he had just put on his trousers. She ignored his naked and scarred torso, turned around and went to the living room.
He joined her soon, and there was an awkward pause before she moved to get a good handful of powder.
"Hermione, maybe we should talk about it before you leave?" he looked quite unsecure; with a slight blush on his face and his gaze at his feet. Hermione mirrored his actions and looked at her feet, "what do you want to talk about?" she said.
"I-I don't know, just say I am sorry, especially if it was your first time...?" he met her eyes now, giving away his feelings of regret and apology.
"It wasn't my first time, don't worry about that..." she whispered softly "and you don't have to feel more bad than me, it takes two to make a crime, and I participated too", gesturing awkwardly at his love bite on his neck. "Should we just pretend it never happened? None of us remembers, and we weren't in our right mind?"
Remus gave a faint smile before running his hands through his hair. His movements getting more and more agitated, pacing back and forth in the room. "Fuck!" he shouted, "I used to be your teacher for Christ sake" He slammed his hand into the wall, making Hermione jump from the suddenly loud noise. Not sure on how to handle Hermione slowly walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. Looking into his eyes she saw barley hidden panic, "Remus, calm down, I won't tell anybody, and you will not tell anybody. This is our secret"
"If people find out… I'll be lynched"
"And I'd be a scarlet woman... They will never know, alright?"
Remus nodded slowly in agreement, his breathing slowly evening down. He was standing restless on the floor, looking like he was thrown in two directions before he sank defeated down in the sofa and put his head between his hands.
Hermione suddenly realised he was crying. He seemed in pain. She slowly moved towards him and put a hand on his shoulder and sat down next to him.
"I feel like I cheated on Dora, and offended her memory," he said quiet.
"Me too" she replied with a shaky voice, referring to Ron.
The tears seemed to never stop as they cried out their misery of what they had done, and what they had lost.
"Take care of Teddy, he needs you now" Hermione whispered quietly before she quickly stood up, went into the fireplace and disappeared in a jumble of flames
Please R/R! :D