I died, but I didn't.
And now I'm seeing things that weren't there before.
My mom thinks I've finally gone crazy, my stepdad doesn't give a damn and my friends can't handle the fact I've apparently lost all of my marbles. Not that it matters so much seeing as I've just moved to a new town. My mom took care of all the necessities; a new school, new soccer team I can warm up the bench for and a new shrink who only lives ten blocks away so she no longer has to drive me. Not that any of that is gonna make any kind of a difference. I've talked to five different shrinks already and all that did so far is earn me a note in my schoolrecords for being 'possibly mentally unstable'. I've been around enough doctors to know that's their slang for 'that kid is insane and we can't fix him so keep an eye on him'.
Yeah, real helpful.
Seems like people are afraid I might snap at one point and kill someone. Oh no, watch out for the cute little thirteen year old with blond hair, he's going to strangle you …?! Yeah, if I had the f***ing upper body strength or, most importantly, the urge to do so. I don't feel any kind of urge to maim or kill or anything involving me inflicting pain upon another human being. I just want them to leave me alone…
All of them. Please!?
But they never do, and I'm getting this sinking feeling they never will. There's always some sort of thing hiding in the shadows. Sometimes they even prance through broad day light. They have every single size, colour and shape you can think off. They fly, walk, crawl, slither, hop or swim and never stop saying that I 'smell nice' (and trust me, it took a while before I figured out that that's what they were actually saying). I've tried everything from spraying perfume to throwing dog shit at them, but nothing seemed to persuade them of my undeniably amazing scent. Not showering doesn't work either, it just … doesn't.
So that's where I am now. A new town, with a new school and a new 1467 people to fear/hate me. Did I mention that part before, the fear and hate and overall dislike people always have for me. I used to have friends, play sports and talk to people. Now I just sit somewhere being ignored by everyone.
Don't go near him, he's dangerous. Don't talk to that boy, he's sick. Don't be friends with him, he's crazy. Don't, don't, don't, don't, DON'T!
No one cares about what I think.
No one cares about what I say.
No one cares about what I f***ing FEEL!
I've tried talking about it, I've tried ignoring my 'hallucinations', I've tried every single medication on this goddamn planet but nothing works! They never go away, they never leave me alone and they scare the shit out of me. They attacked me once and tried to eat me and the only reason I'm still here is because I apparently can create shields by using my fingers. My mom put me in a psychiatric hospital for two months because she thought I slashed my arms up myself?!
HELP ME!
The two words constantly on the tip of my tongue. I've wanted to shout them at every single person who walked by, every single person who shunned me, hated me for hearing rumours, was afraid of me for hearing the truth. I wanted to shake, scream, cry, anything to make them look at me, to make them look at me and show me I'm not invisible.
Because I can't be invisible, I can't wind up like those things only I can see, the things in the dark. I think they want to take me with them, drag me into the dark and make me one of them. I'll become some faceless thing in a closet and no one listens to me!
A new town and a new school with a new 1467 people who won't see me, who won't talk to me and who won't listen to me…
'Why am I always alone?'
The shrink was only ten blocks away so I had to walk. I only got past five before a car ran a red light and didn't see me.
… whoever said you couldn't die twice …
A single tear ran out of pale blue eyes.
This kid had seen and heard too much when alive. He had tried so hard to break free of the shadows Yato had just pulled him into. The best regalias always had the worst stories, but this was just a kid.
Sitting up and wiping the emotion off of his face Yato could still feel the immense despair resonating in his heart. He looked at the blade gleaming in the street lights and couldn't help but feel rotten for dragging someone so innocent into hell. Yato couldn't undo what he'd done, couldn't turn the child back into a wandering spirit or spare him the crushing truth of being invisible all over again.
"Then again, you'll never be invisible te me Yukine."
He clenched his hands and hoped that somehow, somehow, that would be enough for the boy.