"You pilots were always looking for something to fight for. The war became crazy and you lost focus in what you believed in. Most of you found homes and families to fight for, but what did you find?" She asked, crossing her legs as she sipped her tea casually.
He frowned, looking away from her to stare out into the vast green grass and trees. He didn't know what he fought for. He thought he fought for himself, or for the people of the Earth. Now, he wasn't sure. The war was over and he was alone.
Sort of.
The blonde sitting in front of him was always with him and always asked him to come around more. If anything, she was his home. He didn't want to voice his thoughts to her. He didn't want her to think he'd always be around even though he knew it was true. He would always come back after some stint of soul searching. He always found himself coming back to her. It was easier with her and it was calm. Regardless of her position and all the stress her title caused, when they were together, it was calm. Almost like nothing could penetrate through their bond that had developed during the war. It took a while for them to see eye to eye, but eventually, they compromised.
What did he fight the war for? What was he trying to protect for his own selfish reasons?
Her.
They were eighteen years old and having conversations as if they were forty. Their souls were worn and aged. It was harder on them to have discussion with people their own age. Unless they were involved in the war, they had nothing in common. The average teenager issues were not the same as theirs. That's why their bond was so strong and would always remain so. He had nightmares when he was away from her. A simple phone call any hour of the night to her would calm him. She understood. She had nightmares too. Although her part in the war wasn't as brutal as his, she still had seen enough to scar her fifteen year old soul. He hated that she had nightmares. He wanted to protect her from everything, but her own thoughts were inaccessible to him.
"Hm?" She coaxed sweetly, lifting an eyebrow at him.
He turned his eyes back to her, letting his dark blue eyes bore into her lighter blue, and chuckled lightly. This was the only time he felt himself relax enough to give out an honest laugh. Duo, although amusing, didn't make him laugh. Trowa made him laugh occasionally, but unintentionally. Trowa was about as humorous as he was.
"I found you, Relena."
"Me? I'm what you ended up protecting during the war?" She laughed lightly, setting her glass back on the glass top.
"Yes, it obviously didn't start off that way."
She laughed louder, throwing her head back. The sight made him laugh louder, coming deep from his gut.
"I guess that's true. You did protect me on Libra." She said, wiping a tear away from her eye.
"You're still fighting, Relena. What are you fighting for?"
"Peace." She said simply.
"Other than that? There has to be some selfish reason for you to keep fighting like this. You haven't relented since the war ended." Heero asked, reaching for his drink now.
"You, of course. I don't want to see you fight anymore." She smiled, cocking her head sideways.
"Fair enough."
Silence settled over them as they stared out into the gardens of her estate. She refused to rebuild the Sanc Kingdom and moved back into the Darlian estate. She had told him once that it felt more like home that the large castle. Although she still technically lived with her mother, Relena had free reign of the grounds. It had become some sort of tradition for Heero and Relena to spend their Sunday afternoons on the grounds, just to themselves. Most of the time, they didn't speak, just reveling in the comfortable silence. Other times, she would tell him all about her upcoming tasks and asking his advice. Today was no different. It had started off as a work conversation, but she brought up the war which brought up her previous question.
It helped him to remember that she did enjoy his company. He'd been alone most of his life and he intended it to stay that way. However, she didn't pressure him into talking or ask him to always be with her. She gave him freedom as he did her.
Although they lacked the romance of a normal relationship, Heero had to admit that that was had they had; some awkward relationship that confused Duo completely. It didn't matter, they were happy just being awkward and that was all that mattered. Being with her was being home, even of some people didn't see it as such.