One of three I wrote in an hour or so.. for some reason, when I write RanxConan, I end up with tragedy :P However, yes, it was supposed to be RanxConan (or Shinichi.. ) but ended up as ConanxAyumi instead because I didn't want conan to kill himself or something..
Kemono wa Ai de Iyasareru.
Another day, another crime to solve. That was one of Conan's favorite phrases when he woke up. Just another day where he'd be haunted by death, and taunted by it as well. Ran was cooking, and Kogoro was, as always drinking beer and watching some lame show. The young pre-teen looked around for something to do, but found none. But something was off. There was something that was stuck. And not just anything. Conan was. His heart had been struck down by fate, and his true feelings brought to clearance, only to be shoot down again. Today, Conan didn't even look at the two, just picked up his things and left. No one noticed he left, no one saw his tears. And nor would he admit to crying, because his pride wouldn't let him. Not since yesterday..
"Conan-kun?" Conan turned his face and looked at Ran, then he nodded.
"What is it Ran-neechan?" he asked. Ran seemed to ponder about something, then she smiled at him. Conan backed off, knowing that smile, and knew it wasn't going to be good.
"You know where Shinichi is don't you?" she asked. Conan's eyes widened, then he shook his head nervously.
"N-no, not right now.." she sighed, and his frowned.
"Why did you want to know that Ran-neechan?" he asked, trying not to give away his fears and his hopes.
"Well, I wanted to tell not to worry about me anymore, you know.. don't tell dad okay?" she whispered the last part, crouching before Conan, whose eyebrows furrowed, detecting a storm in the horizon. Conan slowly nodded, knowing he had no other choice.
"Well.. um, there's this boy, who just transferred and.." she stopped, blushing. Conan's eyes widened, his emotions coming to surface right away.
"B-but.. don't you love Shinichi-niichan?" Conan asked, maybe a bit to loud because he caught Kogoro's attention. Ran just smiled at her father, then she turned back to Conan.
"No, not really, after leaving, he never bothered to tell me anything, so I don't really feel he deserve my love." she said. Conan looked down.
"But he did it for you.." he whispered, but Ran heard it anyway.
"Did what?" she asked, smiling at him. Conan just continued to avoid her eyes.
"So.. you don't care anymore?" he asked, looking up into Ran's eyes. Not before he had felt so.. sad, and it stung. Tears were gathering, but he brushed them away, not caring if new ones appeared. Ran seemed perplexed by Conan's reaction.
"I can't say I don't care, but he is never around, how can I show I care then? He never shows his face and I'm sure he doesn't care much either, besides, why are you asking that? I know your relatives, but you never grew up with him, you don't know how he is." she said. Conan looked away, trying to dry his tears. Then he turned away from her.
"I know him better than you! I know his fears, his likes, his dislikes.. I know who he loves, I know what makes him happy, angry, sad.. hurt, even what makes him exited and interested.." he mutterd. He didn't looked at her as he just walked away, leaving her in her shock. Conan left, seeking solidarity within his old home.
Conan's feet brought him to his home, and barely noticed his friends in time to hide so they wouldn't see him. The gang whom he had spent so many days with since Conan had started his existence. As they disappeared, he himself walked over to his own house. He tuned out the buzz of his phone and opened the gate before closing it and finding the old path he so often had been drawing on as a kid. It might be time. Conan entered his old home, toed out of his shoes and went straight for the library. The old albums of his time as a boy, growing up with a friend whom he still loved was pulled out of the shelf and opened. Conan looked at it, then let it fall to the floor. He sighed and took off his glasses.
"It's time to relieve you of your days here Shinichi.." he muttered. He took up a picture that had detached itself from the album. It was one of him, with Ran, and their parents together. Kogoro looked like he wanted to get the hell out of there, whilst Yukiko and Eri seemed to be quite happy. Yusaku just smiled, obviously pretending he enjoyed this. Ran and he, was smiling. Suddenly there was a drop of the paper and Conan let it go in favor of drying his face from the sudden tears. He took up the other phone he had, the one that belonged to Shinichi. He also took his bow tie and changed it to his old voice, however he stopped. He had Ran on speed dial, but pushed it before he realized what he had done. Ran soon answered. Conan flinched.
"Hello? Shinichi?" Conan coughed.
"Um.. hi.." he said, using his bow tie to sound like he was his old self again.
"Have you heard from Conan-kun? His not here, I can't get in touch with him.." she said. Conan bit his bottom lip, then looked down.
"I.. no.." he answered.
"Shinichi, don't lie.." she said stubbornly.
"Fine, just leave me alone.. his at my place, crying his eyes out and refuses to go back to your place!" then he hung up, sighing as he realized his mistake. Soon enough Ran would come, but Conan couldn't see any other option than to run and hide. He turned of his phone and hid it in the drawer of the desk before venturing up the stairs and used his other phone to call Haibara, explain and then call his parents. In the end of both conversations, he said the same thing.
"It's time to let Shinichi go.." he knew Haibara would be pissed off at that, but Conan couldn't care less right now. He doubted he could ever return, besides, he could still build his reputation as Conan, that wasn't much of a problem. Haibara came in a few minutes after, looking like Conan had predicted.
"Why?" she asked, angry at him.
"Because Shinichi has lost hope..." Conan muttered, sitting down on the last step of the stairs, burrowing his face in his hands. Haibara came over and sat down beside him.
"What happened?" she asked. Conan didn't move at all.
"Ran.. has moved on.." he muttered. Haibara sighed.
"So she no longer loves you?" she asked. Conan shook his head.
"But should you really stay away from her-" she stopped when Conan lifted his head, staring back, the tears having come back. Haibara sat back.
"Kudou-kun.." she whispered. Conan tried to dry his tears using the back of his hands, but it didn't seem to help much. Conan shook his head, then he stood up, walking in a circle. Haibara watched him from her place on the stairs then got up as well.
"And? What will you do now on?" Conan shook his head.
"I don't know.. I'm so confused, but I don't want to go back.. I mean, I'm in junior high, I can pretty much live by myself, and.. and I think I will.." he said, his hands falling to his sides. Haibara pulled him closer out of sympathy. Conan gave her a startled look.
"Then it's your choice, but crying like that will only leave you with the marks of grief.." she said. Conan wrapped his arms around Haibara and then rested his forehead against her shoulder. The tears coming again.
"I hate, hate it all!" he cried out. Haibara sighed, but didn't say anything.
"It's okay, move on." she whispered. She ran a hand up and down his back, trying to calm him down. Conan and Haibara didn't notice the door opening until a voice brought the two out of their thoughts.
"Conan-kun?" Conan looked up, then away, pulling away from Haibara to dry his tears. Haibara didn't look at the door, just continued to face Conan. Conan straightened up and then looked at Ran. The young woman came in, giving Conan a soft look, but Conan didn't return it.
"Yes?" he asked. She didn't come over as she still had her shoes on.
"I was worried when you left without telling and not answering your phone, are you okay?" she asked. Conan looked away.
"Does it look like it?" he asked, keeping his voice low. She sighed.
"No, but if we talk about it, I'm sure we work something ou-"
"There's nothing to talk about!" Conan answered sharply as he cut her off. Ran, as well as Haibara gave Conan a surprised look. Seeing Conan suddenly explode like that was just about never heard off, unless their lives were in danger. Ran toed out of her shoes and came over.
"But Conan-kun, your being unreasonable, unless we talk it's not-"
"No, no more.. besides, Shinichi agreed to let me stay here from now on!" he said. Ran stepped back.
"But your living with us, what about school?" she asked. Conan.
"Who said I was quitting school? I'm just moving here, there's nothing different.." Conan stated, turning away and getting his phone as a mail buzzed in. He answered quickly, then turned back.
"You can't just move like that, the school will need a parent or a guardian when having talks." Ran said. Haibara rolled her eyes and went over to the stairs, sitting down.
"I do what I want, my parents are out of the country all of the times, so I guess Agasa-hakase can go, just like he did for Shinichi." Conan snapped. When Ran opened her mouth to ask another question Conan raised his hand, telling her not to.
"Enough.." he said. Ran scoffed.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because I say so.. I don't need it anymore.. it's not like you care.." he said.
"What? Of course I care!" Ran said. Conan looked at her, tears gathering in his eyes again. Conan sighed.
"You said it yourself.. why bother caring when you don't love anymore.." he said and Ran's eyes widened. Haibara stood up.
"Edogawa-kun!" she warned. Conan shook his head at her.
"Y-you are.." Ran began. Conan laughed bitterly.
"Yes, yes I am.. no, I was!" he finished, then turned and started walking away.
"But.. why didn't you tell me?" Ran screamed. Haibara put a finger in her ear, looking a little annoyed. Conan spun around.
"You want to know? You really want to? FINE! Because if you knew, you would get KILLED! There are people out to kill me Ran, and they wont stop until I'm lying DEAD at their feet, and they will use any means.. and I mean ANY means to get to me, even kidnapping and killings those I love! Do you see now, telling you endangers your life! That's why, now get the hell out!" Conan screamed back. Ran was so taken back that she just stepped back. Haibara gave Conan a look of awe, having never seen Conan explode like that. Ran opened her mouth, then she started crying.
"Your a jerk, you know that Shinichi?" she cried. Conan gave her a look of disbelief. Then he snorted.
"Says the girl who just recently said she didn't care, nor loved me any more, and that's how I'd want it, no way I'm risking any more so that you can watch me die!" Conan snapped. Ran gasped and took another step backwards.
"I didn't say I.." she went silent. Conan glared.
"Yeah, don't start now, I'm am so freaking TIRED of this, so long have I been hiding, lying to those I love, how about those kids huh? How do you think they'd feel if they knew? They'd feel betrayed and USED, and my other friends, my parents!" Conan nearly collapsed, but Haibara was quick enough and managed to catch him. Ran shook her head several times.
"No.. I- I.." she tried, but her sobs stopped her. Conan shook his head.
"No Ran.. no more, you don't know how much it hurt every time I saw you cry, how much you tried, I had to use so many things to hide from you, it hurt yesterday too.. because I was trying, I was trying SO hard to find a cure, to become Shinichi again.. that wont happen again Ran, Shinichi is.. from today in, dead!" Conan shouted. Ran's tears halted from the shook before she spun around, quickly got her shoes on and ran out of the house. Conan looked down.
"Sorry Haibara.." he whispered. Haibara sighed.
"It can't be helped, I'm guessing it helped letting out all those pent up emotions didn't it?" she asked. Conan nodded slowly.
"It did.. somehow.." he murmured.
"So, what are we going to do about her?" she asked. Conan bit his bottom lip.
"Well, there is FBI.."
"Conan?" Conan looked up.
"Hm?" he asked, seeing the young woman sitting beside him and he smiled.
"How was your day?" she asked. Conan smiled and leaned over, pecking her on the cheek.
"Great, you?" he asked. She giggled.
"Well, Genta just wont let go of the newest game I borrowed him, you know how he gets." she said. Conan laughed.
"That's the Genta we know.. thought we lost him after his girlfriend dumped him, how about Mitsuhiko and Haibara? Heard from them?" he asked. She smiled and giggled. Then she looked over her shoulder to make sure they weren't around.
"Well, Ai-chan and I had a talk, and it seems Mitsuhiko managed to ask Ai-chan to marry her." she giggled after that. Conan chuckled.
"Well, about time, they've been pinning for each other for ears now." Conan said. Suddenly she stopped, pondering about something. Conan smiled and nudged her. She smiled back, then she nodded.
"Have you been in love before.. I mean, before we.. you know-" she blushed madly. Conan on the other hand, didn't, nor did he smile. He looked down, giving her enough hints to know she had stepped on a mine.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to walk in on something bad.." she said. Conan shook his head and smiled sadly her way. He looked past her as a woman walked by, she turned her head and their eyes locked, but Conan abruptly looked away, refusing to acknowledge her.
"I was in fact in love with someone.. but she broke it of completely.. she brushed over me in a way I'd call.. smooth over my hurt feelings.. in a way." he laughed bitterly at the end, then turned serious again.
"Do you.. talk to her anymore?" Conan shook his head.
"No, it's just too painful, besides, why would I when I have you?" he asked.
"C-Conan!" a blush as dark as blood appeared. Conan chuckled.
"Well then, care to accompany me? I'm guessing Megure-keibu has a new case for me." he said. She giggled and smiled.
"To bad it's not all of us, then it'd be the old Shounen Tantei again." she said. Conan nodded, then he grinned her way.
"Well, then again, I get to have you all to myself." he said, intertwining his hand with hers. She blushed madly and swatted at him.
"Conan! You have been hanging out too much with that magician!" she pouted.
"Well, Kaito is a family member, besides, it's fun.. why don't we head over to him afterwards then?" he asked.
"Well, would that be wise? Didn't he just get a son?" she asked.
"Well, duh! Then again, I'd love to see Kaito's drained face." Conan explained.
"Okay, I think something is wrong with you, maybe I'll have Ai-chan check you!" Conan gaped at her, then he looked away with a horror-filled look on his face.
"God forbid! Come on Ayumi, we're late." he said and she nodded. Conan didn't mind anymore, he had long forgotten his love to Ran, after all, it had been nearly ten years since he had walked out of her life completely, and with the help of FBI, shut her up and then let the world know that Shinichi had been found dead. Conan no longer harbored his fears as much as he once did. He had heard some rumors about a secret organization being caught, but he didn't care, it would only get those he loved in trouble. Besides, getting into that again, would only crack his reputation and his secret would be found out, and that secret was something he'd take with him to the grave. The secret of what happened to Kudou Shinichi, and the fact that he was still alive, but as Edogawa Conan.
... yeah, was that good? I seriously have no idea how I managed to get Conan so pissed off, but I can understand ^^
As you probably realized, the title means 'Smooth over his hurt feelings' and.. kind of tragedy and angst in some way :P Oh well, review if you liked, or didn't..