AN: I personally quite like this. But. The grammar is all over the place. D: That's about it, really. It's Hidan, contemplating shit. With KakuHida at the end because, really, is there any other way for those two to be other than as a couple? I thought not. Um... Yeah, enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own it, get over it, watch out for the KakuHida if you don't like pretty (imo) gheyboys. :3
Heaven
Religion, to put it quite simply, is everything to Hidan. His entire being dictated by a God who he'll never be able to meet, not really.
He would never complain, just go about his Jashinist life like there's no doubt that it is be the perfect life, the only life, the right life to lead. No, he'll never complain, never.
Jashin-Sama has given Hidan the lift of immortality, an amazing, great, wonderful gift that he'd never deserve, not in his entire unending life. Jashin-Sama had given this gift to him because of His endless generosity (and mercy and kindness and intelligence, etc, etc – that goes without saying, of course). Hidan had always been pretty much bound by his never ending life to serve his God.
But what good is immortality really, when all he was doing this for to was to eventually, someday, maybe go to Heaven (if he's been a good enough Jashinist and shit, but not too good, he supposes, or else Jashin-Sama will never want him to leave Earth and quit his preaching and things) and reap his reward for living the perfect, the only, the right life. For being a good little Jashinist and doing whatever he has been told.
Even after devoting his whole life to his God, the one thing he had ever really wanted would never be given to him, not ever.
He'll never go to Heaven, because he'll never die. And that scares him much more than anything else; never going to Heaven.
But if he'll never go to Heaven, and never finally see his God, and never get thanked for his belief and never get told that in the end, he really was right after all (not that he had doubts, of course…), then… Then why do it at all? If he'll never get thanked, then why do it all?
Hidan had decided a long time ago that if he was never going to meet his judgement then perhaps, well, maybe… Maybe perhaps the rules could possible be bent, just slightly. Perhaps.
Besides, even if it was ever so slightly completely against one tiny little rule of the Holy Book and Scriptures… Despite all that, Hidan had worked something out a long time ago and he was going to stick by his decision. Nothing his God could ever give him could compare to what Kakuzu could. His God could never make him feel like Kakuzu made him feel, it just wasn't possible. So it was an obvious choice, really, and he felt his choice had been justified. After all, even going to Heaven could never make him feel as right as Kakuzu made him feel in those nights that he… Won't go into detail about.
It's at times like this that Hidan realises that he's just putting out of the window everything he's ever believed in his life, everything he's ever worked for – and he's putting it out the window and smashing it on the ground just for one person. And then he really hopes he's not done something stupid like angering the wrath of his God – or falling in love.