Unexpected

by jberri79

Luke has an epiphany.

Title: Unexpected
Author: jberri79
Rating: R
W/C: 4365
Characters: Luke/Noah Lily
Warnings: None
Summary: Luke has an epiphany.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters; wish I did, this is merely a stress reliever.

Noah stood in front of his kitchen sink staring out of the tiny window just above it. It was still dark but the faint traces of dawn were beginning too show. He stood there in a daze not able to remember what too do next; he had a routine- a routine he stuck to everyday even on Sunday. Now Thursday morning a day he always looked forward too, being that it was the day before Friday -his close to it's almost the weekend time to relax day- he couldn't grasp what too do next.

He held a box of cereal in his hand; he squeezed at the edge of the box as if by doing so his memory would somehow start rushing back to him. A phone ringing knocked him out of his daze. He glanced at it laying on top of his microwave, 'it's too early for calls' he thought. He reluctantly put down the box of cereal- the box of cereal that seemed too hold the answers to his sudden brain freeze.

He could hear movement in the bedroom as he went too answer the phone he quickly picked it up in order to not disturb his guest. "Hello?" His voice came out kind of gravel like and hoarse; annoyance seeping through.

"No-ah?" The caller seem too pause at the way it sounded.

"Hello!" His voice raised a notch in volume as he spoke again, not able to hide his irritated state.

"Noah is that you sweetheart?" The caller asked unsure.

The sound of the familiar voice etched in worry immediately pulled him right out of his irritation and threw him right into a feeling of anxiousness. "Lily, is that you?" He tried too steady his tone. "What's wrong? Are you okay? Is it Holden- the kids?" He failed. With each question his panic grew.

When Noah had moved to California six months ago he had expected calls from Ali, Casey- those of which he received on a regular basis.

His first week out in L.A, first day on the job actually, he got a call from Lily wanting too know how things where going. He told her fine of course and kept the conversation sweet and short-not wanting too waste her time, even if she was the one that initiated the call in the first place.

When they ended the call Noah assumed it was the last he would hear from her, not even two full days later and she was calling again, asking him if he was doing well; if he liked his job. And pretty much ever since then, for the last six months, every other day she has called and it's always around noon; his launch break. That's why, it was so strange too hear from her so early.

Noah stood in his kitchen shooting question after question at Lily worried something bad happened. After all it was barley six in the morning she wouldn't have called so early- if it wasn't important. "Calm down honey I'm okay." Noah inhaled a sharp breath as he let those words sink in. However he could still sense something was wrong. "I tried too wait to call you at a decent time, but I'm just so consumed with worry I-"

"What is it Lily? You're worrying me."

"I don't even know why I'm calling you Noah, it's not like you could do anything. I'm just so worried it's been three days." Lily's voice started too crack and every word came out with a pause to it which let Noah know she was trying unsuccessfully too hold back a sob.

Noah had the receiver pressed tight to his ear he could hear Lily willing herself too relax; the silence that followed had Noah drifting. He shook is head forcefully to shake it off "Lily, please tell me what's wrong maybe I can help?" Noah soothed.

Lily took big deep breaths before continuing. "I know you don't want to talk about Luke, but he's gone Noah….He's gone and know one's seen him since late Monday evening. I keep calling his cell phone but it keeps going to voice mail. I know we spoke yesterday I just didn't want too alarm you unless it was necessary."

Noah gripped the phone tight with his right hand and used the other one too run his fingers over the beginnings of a headache right above his left eye. "Noah honey are you there?" Lily rushed out panicking.

Noah closed his eyes trying to ward off the on coming headache. he could hear sounds coming from his bedroom and heard as the door creaked open. A soft glow came flowing down the hallway indicating the bathroom light had been turned on; he glared in the direction of the light before acknowledging Lily again "I'm still here. Don't worry Lily he's okay."

"How can you be sure Noah? He's been so distant ever since….." Lily trailed off not wanting to upset him.

"You can say it Lily, ever since Reid died."

"And you left town," she finished. "I'm not blaming you for his change in behavior," she rushed too explain. "It's just you could always bring him back from the brink and recently he's been walking in circles in the dark without a map or flashlight."

Noah held back a chuckle listening to Lily's phrase of words. "I know you don't blame me Lily," he turned to the direction of his kitchen window again and could see the sun was just starting to make it's appearance. "I only meant I know he's okay because he's here."

There was a pause before Lily started too speak. The shriek that came didn't help his headache. "And you didn't call!"

"He just got here last night," he hurried too explain. "I have no idea where he was the rest of those days."

"Did he tell you why he's there?"

"No."

She blew out a breath that signaled she was relieved Luke was safe. Although when she spoke it showed the opposite. "Can he come to the phone?" Her voice was calm but had a shape edge to it as she spoke. Noah looked towards the hall and was greeted by a lethargic Luke who slowly shook his head. 'No' he mouthed and leaned his body against the edge of the oval shaped entrance that lead straight into the kitchen.

"Noah?"

"He's asleep Lily," his eyes still trained on Luke as he lied.

Luke mouthed the words 'thank you' as he walked towards him. He moved around Noah and opened a cabinet placing a canister of coffee on the counter he looked expectantly at Noah while batting his big brown eyes, Noah in return nodded his head giving him his answer. "I promise when he wakes up, I'll have him call you."

"Thank you Noah," She paused briefly before speaking and Noah closed his eyes waiting; he knew the next question. "Are. You. Okay?" She asked, concern etched in her voice.

He proceeded too rub at the pain over his eye again and his grip on the phone if possible became tighter, his knuckles ached from the strain he put on them. "I'm fine Lily." His newly arrived kitchen guest made a silent but quick exit; perhaps knowing he was the cause of said headache.

"Are you sure?"

"I promise. Don't worry about me at least not yet" he joked, trying too ease some off the tension. He could hear the bedroom door closing and the sound of a bed creaking. "I should go now Lily, my day is so busy today." He felt a twinge of pain in his stomach as he lied to her- a second time in under five minutes. There was know way he was going in today; he was dead on his feet, his night consisted of broken sleep on a couch not suitable for his lanky frame.

"Um…. Okay….. I'll let you go then."

He detected her reluctance and smiled into the phone. "Don't worry Lily he's fine. I'm fine and when he wakes up, I'll have him call. He was pretty out of it when his head hit the pillow, so it probably won't be soon, but I'll make sure he calls -today" he clarified. "You have my word."

When they hung up Noah stood there for a while trying to figure out why Luke would disappear like that without telling anyone, he was also pissed at Luke for worrying Lily. But he snorted at the fact Luke knew exactly where the coffee was on his first excursion into the kitchen. After leaving a brief message on his bosses phone about being 'sick' another lie- he proceeded too make a pot of coffee.

Ten minutes later Noah held a cup of coffee in his hand and stood just outside his bedroom door, he knocked which seemed odd to him. He heard Luke's faint voice on the other side reply with a "come in."

Noah entered the room to see Luke wrapped tightly up in his comforter; the bridge of his nose and eyes were all Noah could see as he stepped into the room. "Here you go," Noah said as he placed the coffee on the side table and started too retreat from the room.

"Don't go." Noah's hand was already on the knob when the request was made. "We should talk about last night."

Noah's back was still facing Luke when he spoke. "No…. We should talk about why you scared Lily like that."

"If you turn around I will." Noah slowly turned around too face Luke, he crossed his arms over his chest and raised his eyebrow. "Well? Talk."

Luke pushed the covers away from himself and sat up in bed, he cleared his throat before starting. "I never meant to scare her; I just needed to get away-"

"Where were you?" Noah cut in.

Luke's eyes were focused squarely on Noah as he spoke, "at the pond."

Noah knew what he meant by that. "So after your talk with him where did you go? Where have you been? Lily said you've been missing since Monday evening?" Luke ducked his head not able to look at Noah any longer. He tried too stall by taking a sip of the coffee Noah brought to him. "I'm waiting." Noah's stance by the door hadn't changed and Luke slowly took another sip of coffee. "Luke?"

"I've been here," he said simply. He had his hands wrapped tightly around the coffee cup and his eyes were cast down.

"How long did you stay with Reid?" Noah asked as he slowly eased his way toward the edge of the bed and sat. He waited for an answer "Luke?" He pushed.

"A few hours, I had things I needed to say, things he needed too know."

"That was Monday Luke. What did you do between that time and Wednesday night- before you got here?" Noah had to ask, his curiosity was growing. Luke put the coffee cup down and eased back under the covers, once again he tried too stall by fluffing his pillows. Noah just waited; he knew Luke would eventually talk.

"Was at a motel not to far from here; trying to work up the courage too come here." He had the covers wrapped around him again like a cocoon, indicating he was ready for sleep again.

"And you thought eleven o'clock at night was the best time too do it?" Noah asked perplexed.

"It was when my courage level was at maximum." He yawned while speaking and Noah got up.

"Don't you mean liquid courage?" Noah mumbled.

Luke forced a smile before he looked away. "It was a rough night," he uttered.

Rough night indeed, Noah muttered. After the initial shock of Luke standing at his front door they proceeded too argue after Noah detected a hint of alcohol on Luke's breath. Before he could yell any further Luke was retching his guts out on Noah's living room floor. When Noah went to his aide Luke clung to him immediately stammering out 'sorrys' and 'I miss yous' into Noah's shoulder. After Noah removed his clothes and cleaned him up, he led him to the bedroom; pulled back the covers and had him get in. Luke asked him too stay with him, however Noah declined- But stayed with Luke until he fell asleep, then headed to the couch.

"I'm sorry," Luke breathed, "for the mess….. it wasn't supposed to turn out like that. I hope it wasn't too much too clean up?"

Noah yawned and rubbed his eyes. "Wasn't a big deal, you can't even tell. There is a wet spot by the coffee table though." Noah gave him a small smile, too ease the tension. "But- I do need to get some rest didn't sleep too well last night."

"A lot on your mind?"

"What do you think?" Noah smirked, easing towards the door. He stopped abruptly, "oh and I promised Lily you would call. She's really upset."

"You and my mom are really close huh?"

"Yes."

"How often do you two talk?"

Noah gave him a knowing look, he knew Luke was trying to keep him in the room; trying too keep him talking. Noah rolled his eyes, after six months of no communication he still knew Luke, knew him well. "Why?"

"Just wanted too know."

Noah shrugged. "Maybe three or four times a week." He said it nonchalantly like it didn't matter- like it was no big deal, it was…. a big deal. A real big deal. And Luke knew it, truth be told it made Luke happy.

"Wow!" Luke replied, "I didn't know."

"Were you supposed to?"

"That's not what I meant." He cleared his throat trying to find the right words. "I meant I knew there was contact, I just didn't know it was so frequent."

"Holden calls at least once a week, wanna analyze that too?" Noah glared and that caused Luke too sink into the bed and wrap the comforter tighter around himself.

"Geez! Noah, don't get upset I was just wondering."

Noah's hard shell cracked a little. "Sorry I just hate having too explain. Since you and I haven't spoken since September, it is strange that my ex-boyfriends parents stay in contact with me." Luke ignored the last statement of that comment but his chest seem too constrict hearing it. And the words 'ex and boyfriend' seemed too rattle around in his head like broken glass.

"Not that strange….They love you," Luke replied trying too push the discomfort he was feeling away. There was an awkward silence, Noah held his position by the door and Luke observed him from the bed. Thinking the conversation was done he was about too make an exit when Luke spoke "sorry about Christmas I should've came or at least called."

"Don't worry about it"

"But I do. You must have felt so alone."

"Not really. There was a Christmas party at work and we had a secret Santa, I got a gift."

"A gift... As in one gift" Luke asked sadly.

Noah's annoyance started to flare up. "No! Luke not one gift. That comforter you keep clinging to, that's from Lily. The coffee you doe-eyed me for, it was made with a coffee maker your mother gave me. The television. in the living room. courtesy of Holden." Noah stopped to get his emotions in check.

"I get it Noah." Luke said sheepishly

"The couch I slept on last night- which by the way you almost threw up on, I got from-"

"I get it Noah!"

"Do you? You seem to thank I was alone and sulking. I'll have you know, Lily called me around seven- that's right seven in the morning too wish me Merry Christmas."

"That was nice."

"Yeah it was. Around noon she called me back and we watched scrooged together on Cinemax."

"You did?" A big bright smile spread across Luke's face hearing that.

"Yep." Noah ignored it.

"That's where she sneaked off to?" Luke murmured.

"What do you mean?"

"We were at the farm Christmas Day," Luke explained. "One minute mom was there and the next she wasn't. And when she popped up again, not one person questioned it." Luke's brow furrowed, "they all knew except for me."

"Yeah…..well listen….. I'm tired, need sleep now."

"Don't you have work?"

"Called in sick I wouldn't make it through the day with only a total of two hours of sleep under my belt." Noah reached for the knob again.

"Noah?"

Luke's voice came out soft, needy and it almost broke Noah, anger started too replace annoyance, due to lack of sleep and trying too grasp the fact that Luke still had an affect on him. "What Luke?" Noah's body was turned halfway towards the door.

"Please look at me," Luke begged. Noah took a deep breath before laying eyes on Luke again when he turned around Luke had the covers pulled back asking Noah silently too join him.

Noah took another deep breath and leaned against his bedroom door. "That's not a good idea."

"Says who?" Luke scooted over, he still had the covers pulled back inviting Noah in. "Join me."

"Tell me why you were drinking?"

"If I tell you….. will you get in?"

"Maybe"

Luke lowered his head; it looked to Noah like he was trying too put the words he wanted to say in order. "Does it have to do with Reid?" Noah asked.

"Yes."

Noah made his way back to the bed and sat Indian style at the end of it. "Are you going to finish that?" Noah pointed to the side table, Luke smiled and reached for the coffee. "Here, it's still warm." Their hands touched briefly as Luke passed the mug to him.

Noah took a sip and smiled "I need the caffeine, if I'm gonna be alert for this."

Luke watched as Noah drank the warm liquid he bit his lip when some of the contents in the cup dribbled down his chin. "Oops, my coordination is off." He was about too wipe it away when Luke's hand reached out and wiped it away for him, he repeatedly brushed over the area getting caught up in the feeling of being so close. He sighed and his thumb made its way to his lips, he closed his eyes and took it all in; getting lost in thought, he gasped sharply when Noah's hand touched his wrist. "Speak Luke," he lowered his hand and fought against the urge too touch him again. "Reid- start from there."

"I said goodbye to Reid, and I got on a plane and came here."

"Why were you drinking Luke?"

Noah moved his hands out of the way when it looked like Luke might reach for him, he needed Luke to explain himself, he needed him too stop stalling. "Why were you drinki-"

"I was sitting in that diner down the block from here trying to push myself too come here I only had a cup of coffee in front of me I swear Noah." His eyes became big as saucers as he pleaded with Noah too believe him.

"Your drink of choice changed at some point Luke, so let's get to that."

Luke ran his hands through his hair before starting. "I need you too know that I loved Reid, Really loved him."

"Okayyy I'm done" Noah got up off the bed ready too leave. He had the door half way open, when it was slammed shut lightning quick by Luke, the sudden movement startled Noah. "What the hell is your problem!" Noah yelled. He could feel Luke's breath on the back of his neck and his breath hitched when Luke rubbed his cock against his butt.

"Let. Me. Finish," Luke said through gritted teethe. Noah made a move too turn around. "Stay! Don't move," Luke demanded. He wrapped his arms around Noah's waist and rested his head between his shoulder blades. Noah's body was pressed against the door and Luke's body was pressed against him, Luke's hold on him grew tighter when Noah moved slightly. Noah knew he could get out of the hold but he let Luke have control and waited. Luke's left hand slipped underneath his shirt and he started too play with the trail that led to a spot only Luke had the pleasure of knowing- of being introduced to.

Noah started too close his eye's somehow content in the awkward situation when Luke's voice broke though the silence "I loved Reid- I love Reid," he corrected. Luke's words filtered though the air, Noah's eye's shot wide open and Luke's grip became vice like knowing he may have a struggle coming.

Noah wanted too struggle, he fought against it with everything he had in him. "Are you done?" he snapped.

Luke's hand traveled down the trail and slipped into his boxers, his thumb brushed against Noah's cock "No. I'm not." Without breaking contact he pulled Noah from the door and lead him towards the bed "get in," Noah stiffened. "Please," Luke begged. Noah couldn't resist. The pleading in Luke's voice forced him to resign he nodded his head and Luke let go, Noah climb in and Luke followed. Luke scooted his body towards Noah's and wrapped his leg around him, his hand took its rightful place stuck between elastic and soft dusting of dark hair; his lips rested at the nape of his neck, the silence stretched. "I would have always ended up here," Luke finally spoke.

"What?"

"Know matter how much I loved Reid." He moved his left hand up Noah's chest and laid it on his cheek; he used it to turn Noah's face towards him, brown eyes locked on blue. "I still would've ended up darkening your doorway."

Noah closed his eye's taking deep breaths, trying too process what was said and all that came out was a cracked "why?"

"Because I love you," Luke simply stated.

"You do?" Noah whispered; his eyes fluttering open.

'Yes."

"And that made you drink?"

"Yes."

"I don't understand?"

He ran his thumb over Noah's eyebrow. "I realized that to late- or I just think I didn't want to acknowledge it."

Luke stopped talking and focused on Noah's eyes and lips.

"Please finish Luke. Please" he breathlessly whispered.

"He wouldn't have been on those tracks; he would have been back in Dallas. We would've shared emails about the progress in each others lives, we would've had fun leaving each other stupid texts." His voice started to crack and the sleep he had been fending off since Noah entered the room started too make an appearance again.

Noah turned around and laid on his back he pulled Luke on top of him; he ran his hands up and down his back and dipped his hands into the waist band of his boxers cupping his butt "tell me." Luke clung to Noah and buried his head into his neck. "If I would've just let go, we would have been together and Reid would be safe and sound in Dallas. It's not an excuse," he promised. "The truth just hit me so hard; I needed to take the edge off."

"You won't do that again will you?"

"No. Or at least I'll try not to."

"What if I'm seeing someone?"

Luke tensed and raised his head. "You're not right?"

Noah slowly shook his head. Luke exhaled in relief, "good this position would've been weird with you massaging my butt and all if you were seeing someone."

"It would be," Noah chuckled. "And let's not forget the possessive groping you dished out."

"Sorry." Luke seemed too flinched at the word since he really wasn't 'sorry' at all.

Noah laughed. "No you're not." His grin was wide and his eye's sparkled, it made Luke feel steady and safe but all to soon Noah became serious his eye's filled with worry. "Are you going to be okay? I mean….. Will you be able too live with what happened to Reid?" His voice held doubt. The sadness that appeared on Luke's face seemed too confirm Noah's fears- until.

"I have to." Luke tucked his head safely back into the nook of Noah's neck. "Besides, Reid would call me an idiot for wasting my time wallowing in self pity." He giggled when he felt Noah shake knowing he was trying to contain a laugh.

"God I could picturing him saying that with a few other choice words. He really was an ass?" Noah's laugh burst though not able to hold it anymore.

"Yeah he was but."

"You loved him. Love him its okay Luke, I understand."

Luke raised his head to look at Noah "yeah I do but I love you more," he breathed.

"I love you too." Noah's eye's started too close and Luke's followed suit he tried to get off of him and Noah held him tight "stay," Luke smiled and buried his head back into Noah's neck.

A stream of light came through the curtain annoying Noah, he felt around the bed until his hand touched the comforter he pulled it up over their heads. "That's better," Luke sighed. "I need my rest." He pulled away from Noah's neck their mouths were mere inches apart he smiled seductively and his eyes held a mischievous glint in them "because when I wake up you're mine."

"I was hoping you would say that."

Luke smiled at Noah's response and closed his eyes, "I'm home. I'm finally home," he whispered.

Noah's hold on Luke got tighter. "So am I," he whispered back….."So am I."

pretty soon they were both asleep and light snores filled the room. Several hours later when they both awoke they still held the same positions and when Luke looked up at Noah the first word out of his mouth was' hi.'

Hi was the last thing Noah spoke before their lips crashed together in a long awaited heated kiss.

The End