When Mixing Coffee with Milk, you may get

Cafe Au Lait

A/N: Well for those who may or may not know that's a drink in Japan. That I absolutely adore and drink most of the time when I can get away with it. They may sell it in America too but I don't really know. Anyway I wrote this on the thoughts that I wanted a RebornxLambo onesided story with the unrequited love not from Lambo but from Reborn. That and I wanted to throw some bitterness in the mix of Valentine fics I'm sure will be coming out.

This is actually the first Reborn fic I published to fanfiction. YAY! Anways, it's not the best writing I can up with, in fact, this was all written when I decided to use this nifty device on the internet that my friend sent me called Write or Die. It seemed like fun and I had a time limit to write this so forgive me if some of this sounds messy and incoherent.

Disclaimer: Amano Akira is my idol but I can't draw and I just like to look at her pretty pictures. Forgive me, I don't own this series, and I think some of you should thank God I don't.

It was unforgivable, seriously.

These feelings that bubbled in him, they were unforgivable.

Especially who they were for.

He was, by no means, a weak man. He had survived many things, he had seen many things and he was indescribably strong. He may appear arrogant but he knew better then those fools who were just jealous of his superiority, he worked damn hard to get to this.

That's probably what made it hurt the most when he realized these feelings. First of all, he was not even allowed them; second of all, he didn't want them. These feelings meant a sign of weakness in a man who was never weak.

It tore him apart, though never on the surface, always underneath. Because he also knew there was another truth to this mess.

Reborn loved Lambo.

And Lambo would never love him back.

~*~*~*~

It started, perhaps, when the stupid cow had turned ten. It was then that he had began to mature and was not always paying special attention to Reborn. That was probably what shoved it in Reborn's face that he cared, slightly, if the stupid cow cared about him.

He had been fifteen then, his age starting to speed up as he grew older. He was unknowingly agitated at the party. That was probably why Reborn had smashed the grape tasting cake right in the happy little cow's face.

It was because he was angry that the stupid cow hadn't tried to point a gun, or lay a trap at him. He just smiled at Reborn and moved on to talk to the rest of the family. Reborn had sat there in the chair staring into space, after the whole cake incident, in the kitchen as he drank coffee, completely bitter. He had pondered long and hard about why he ruined Lambo's day.

He hadn't came up with an answer.

He had realized the feeling when Lambo was fifteen, and he was twenty. By then he was aging normally and was the true shadow king behind Tsuna. Not that the brown haired boy, he was busy trying to keep his family together and find his placing in the harsh world of the Mafia.

Reborn had realized it in the stupidest way possible, at least in his opinion. It had appeared that Lambo had been sent out on a mission to the Cavallone family to take care of a moronic family that was making noise on the border. Lambo had came back with serious injuries and Reborn had gotten worried. He had actually rushed to the hospital.

The only reason he didn't rush into the room was because the rest of they family had then been in there and was surrounding the boy. Lambo was covered in bandages and cuts but he just smiled at the surrounding people and laughed it off. Completely ignoring the fact that Reborn was there or rather was not there as he could not see the dark figure standing in the hallway.

The Arcobaleno had then proceeded to drag himself back to his apartment and sit there drinking coffee, with just a dash of milk. He spent that time staring blankly out the window, wondering why the hell so panicked at the boy being hurt.

It was then as he swallowed the coffee down in one go did he realize.

He was in love with the stupid cow.

It hadn't been much longer though, when he realized he really had no chance. It had been a year later then. That had been a year of avoiding the stupid cow and throwing himself into his work. That had been a year of trying to battle lecherous thoughts with the thoughts of finding women to satisfy him. A year of trying to convince himself, he just wanted to send a bullet through that lovely face, rather then caress it and watch it in the climaxes of pleasure.

That year later he found himself at the Vongola meeting. It was there where he almost revealed his feelings for the boy. The only thing that had stopped him was when the small boy, no the young man had went up to a certain Chinese lady and presented her a bouquet of lovely red flowers.

There was excitement in the room, even as Reborn felt his stomach dropped (not that anyone noticed as he schooled his features into perfect neutrality). He watched as I-pin enveloped the floors laughing before planting a kiss on the blushing but smiling cow.

For the first time he felt his heart break but all he did was sit there and drink his coffee, putting an extra spoon of milk into it. He took his cup and excited the room as everyone complemented the happy couple. He told himself that he really didn't care.

But for the first time he realized, this was probably what the women he had left behind a life time ago felt.

Then three more years passed by, and Reborn truly realized that he would NEVER be able to act on his feelings. That he had lost any chance he could have had trying to capture the lovely cow. Because it was three years later that he witnessed Lambo on his knees before a crying I-pin. All he heard when he heard the word

"Yes!"

was

"Shit." Echoed in his own thoughts.

He had promptly exited the room, his exit unnoticed. If anyone had asked, they would have probably assumed it was just because it wasn't his thing to be there. No one would have noticed that the Mafioso was having his heart permanently break. And Reborn was fine if no one realized that he hurt. Because he was Reborn. He was supposed to be selfish and piggish.

Then he supposed, he was suppose to be all alone.

So he sits there dumping milk into his coffee and tasting the sweetness of it during the wedding reception of two of the beloved friends of the Vongola Decimo. He savors the taste, even though he absolutely abhors sweet things, wanting to chuckled to himself as he watched the couple dance. Reborn didn't even bother to think of the "what ifs" and "if only".

He just drank his coffee, wondering who he could waste these feelings of envy and sadness on. He wondered who he should shot next and what his next mission was. Reborn pushed down any feelings that had been brought back by a certain stupid cow.

Because, he was Reborn, he should not care.