Chapter 1
The comfort given to you by music is indescribable. It gives you a world to escape to when you're wishing to leave reality. Music is an escape. It's by these words that Mihael Keehl has lived by since he discovered music, considered 'unholy noise' by his Catholic parents. Mr. and Mrs. Keehl were powerful big-wigs in the German Mafia and as far as Mello could tell, that's the only reason why they stay together. Their child just seemed to be another accessory to that life. Just being another accessory didn't mean he didn't receive attention, but most of the attention that was given to him was physical.
The pain Mello had gone through as a child and young adult was brutal. He wasn't given mercy when he had done something that was considered wrong by his parents. Cowering below his father, the child asked, voice trembling from fear, "Why do you hit me so? I hear stories of parents loving their children. Do you not love me?" The man that loomed over him answered him with a single sentence. "Love and affection makes a person weak."
It starts with pain
Followed by hate
Fuelled by the endless questions
No one can answer
A stain covers your heart
And tears you apart just like a sleeping cancer
I don't believe men born to good
I don't believe the world can be saved
How did you get here and when did it start
An innocent child with a thorn in his heart
From this harsh life, the child escaped to the beautiful world of music. Not only did he listen, he wrote. He wrote lyrics that came from his heart, from his father's words, from his everyday life that he couldn't escape from.
Mello had a way with words. He would make beautiful lyrics, but he had no plans for anyone to sing them, including himself. He couldn't even if he wanted to. His future was determined the moment he started to develop in his mother's womb; he would succeed his father in the Mafia. So, he didn't think much of the beautiful words he had written. He discarded them like the pieces of paper he was lead to believe.
What kind of world do we live in?
Where love is divided by hate
Losing control of our feeling
We all must be dreaming this life away
In a world so cold
Are you sane?
Where's the shame?
A moment of time passes by
You cannot rewind
Who's to blame
And when did it start?
Is there a cure for your sickness,
Have you no heart?
The time passed by quickly. Mello's hatred towards his abusive and cold-hearted parents grew, alongside the feelings of compassion and forgiveness. But the more confused he felt towards the two adults, the more he wrote. In middle school, he learned about music; he learned about rhythm, music notes, and sheet music. Not only was he writing the words, Mello was now writing the music. But his thoughts on it was the same as usual; he won't let anyone sing or see his music, no one. And his plan continued on, until he had reached high school…
~line~
Mello had hardened his heart in a layer of ice, unloving and unfaltering. Moving to L.A. to 'broaden his horizon,' as he was told his parents, he was now living with his father's uncle, Rod Ross. Rod was teaching the teenager a thing or two about 'the ways of the Mafia.' Soon after, Mello had turned into his best man. Remarkable aim, tough and cold exterior, and amazing taste. The blonde's taste in fashion was limited to leather and fur and he looked good in it. The other members weren't going to hide the fact that they were watching the ice blue eyed beauty every time he passed by them in his tight leather pants that hugged his hips like a second skin. And whenever they were caught, Mello wasn't scared to shoot a kneecap here and there. And everyone knew it.
As the blonde was still underage, he had to continue with school. So, he was forced by Rod to go to the school around the corner. He wasn't too fond of the idea, but he wouldn't oppose a mafia boss's wish, so he compelled to finish school. And…
Today was his first day.
As anyone would guess, with Mihael's leather and striking appearance, he turned heads left and right from both men and women. Although, the person in question was unaffected by the attention he was getting. He was beautiful, yet he was terrifying. Many wanted to know him, but no one had the courage to step up to the ice cold blue eyes that froze people on the spot.
The blonde silently went through his first few hours at the new school, and then his lunch hour came upon him. Having no place at a table, the blonde stalked over to the forest-like area, away from his classmates. Hidden behind the trees and inside the temporary darkness that the shade provided, the teen relaxed his shoulders and released a breath he had no knowledge of holding in the first place. Looking down at the makeshift lunch he grabbed from the cafeteria, he stuck his nose up in disgust, and set it aside. He pulled out his notebook that he kept hidden and continued writing the lyrics he had been working on.
There's a sickness inside you that wants to escape
It's a feeling you get when you can't find your way
So, how many times must you fall to your knees?
Never
Never
Never
Never
Never do this again
It starts with pain…
Followed by hate…
I don't believe men are born to be good
I don't believe the world can be saved
Nearing the end, Mihael was stopped by a singular sound. A sound so painful and beautiful at the same time, it had almost brought the boy to tears. Almost. Leaving his terrible excuse of a lunch behind, Mello continued on, farther into the manmade forest that was planted on the campus. The sound became more clear and distinct. The sound was being made from a six string electric guitar.
He made it. He saw a boy, not much younger than himself, leaning up against the trunk of an oak tree, playing a dark green guitar with his eyes closed. He watched the other boy playing the guitar with skillful fingers; he must have been playing for a while. The music was fading and Mihael could feel it. So, he stepped out from behind the tree he had used as his shield and stated one word, "Beautiful."
Bright emerald green eyes popped open, making eye contact with him. Soon, he was flashed with the brightest smile he had ever seen.
"Thanks Gorgeous! What's a good girl like yourself doing all the way out here anyway? Ah, you're a new face, so you probably wouldn't have that many friends, huh?" His tone was smooth and relaxing… Well, it have been without that slight mistake.
"Excuse me, fucker?" Mihael snapped at the redhead. Wow! That's some outrageous hair! Is that natural? I'll have to find out at another time, but right now I have to get my point across him. The green eyes grew wide and the smile dropped.
"What?"
"What did you just say, dickhead?" the teenager emphasized on the 'dick.' The redhead stood up and stepped up next to the blonde. Shit. He's taller than me. That doesn't mean I'm going to back down though. This Neanderthal of a redhead needs to know his place… which is below my boot.
"What's wrong, Little Lady?" The redhead continued to make the same mistake, yet he wasn't aware at all. And the blonde was getting tired of this game. So, instead of explaining it to the dumb teenager that stood before him, the blonde thought it would be easier to just show him. Mello grabbed the boy's wrist and began to guide it.
"What-," The poor boy couldn't finish his sentence before his hand was pressed against the crotch of the blonde. And the bulge was there. The boy drew his hand back in a flash, eyes wide with surprise.
"Oh. That's why you were angry… Sorry." The teenager apologized, awkwardly and uncoordinatedly.
" 'Sorry?' That's all you got to say?" Blue eyes narrowed dangerously, and hands were placed perfectly on the hips that jutted out slightly to the right. The gangly redhead scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably and forced a laugh.
"Haha… yeah. I don't know what to say in this situation. I've never mistaken a guy for a woman. Is there a way I could repay you for my little… mistake."
"Well, I wouldn't say it was a little mistake." Mihael smirked. The most beautiful laugh resounded in the area they stood. "Yeah. I guess you could say that," came his reply. And that bright smile was back on his ridiculously gorgeous face. (Wait. What? "Ridiculously gorgeous face?" Am I attracted to him? Well, he does have a pretty good looking face… There I go again?!)
"Well, should I do something in return?" He asked again. Mihael snapped back into reality. He stared at the guitar that hung from the kid's hands and said, "Play one of my songs."
"One of yours?" The blonde nodded and opened up the notebook that he had been holding on. Selecting the one he had just been working on and handed it over without thinking. The redhead grabbed ahold of it and glanced at it and smiled. "Sure. I'll do it."
He sat back against the tree that he had been leaning against just a few minutes ago. He placed the notebook in front of him and tuned the guitar to fit the song. Placing his fingers on the correct strings, he begun to strum and the other boy was entranced. The electric guitar fit the song perfectly. The notes flowed beautifully and Mihael couldn't stop himself when he began to sing his words.
"The secret side of me, I never let you see
I keep it caged but I can't control it
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it
It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls
It comes awake and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?
I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster
I, I feel like a monster"
A whistle rung throughout the trees.
"You're pretty good." Mihael looked at the redhead and noticed the impressed look that was smeared on his face. When did he stand up? Was I really that into singing my words? A smiled appeared on the blonde's face, "Thanks. You're not too bad yourself." He patted his guitar and nodded, "That's good. I've been playing since I could remember. It wouldn't look good if I was still on a beginner's level." They remained in silence, listening to the sounds of the winds… until the other boy just had ask the question that Mihael was dreading.
"So, what's your name Gorgeous?" Mr. Clueless just smiled innocently, but Mihael wanted to punch himself. His family name was infamous, even in the states. There's no way someone couldn't know his last name, and here was a potential friend who could get his mind of his life that he must live outside this forest. Not only that, he could play the music that he created, and he made it sound beautiful; he didn't make it sound ugly and angry, full of hatred, the way he had written it. He didn't want him to run away, so he had to think of something. Something… Anything…
"Mello. People call me Mello." The redhead threw his head back and laughed out loud. "That's got be joke. From what I've seen so far, there's no way you're a mellow person."
"Haha.. Yeah. That's why they do it. What about you?"
"Oh! Where are my manners? I'm Mail. Mail Jeevas. But, most people can't pronounce it correctly, so people just call me Matt."
"Mail? That's an unusual name. Family name?" Curiosity did bite at his nicely toned, leather-clad ass, but he wouldn't let it control him. I mean, it's just a simple question, right? Nothing more? … Right?
"Yeah. From my great-grandfather. Apparently, he was from France or Ireland, or something like that. He ran away from the police for some reason and came here and met my great-grandmother. She was the one who covered for him when the cops came knocking on their door. From that point on, they were together every day, up to the day they died. Grandma died at the age of 96, and Granddad died a few days after that. No real reason either, the coroner called it a broken heart. I think it's the cutest story ever." Matt had the softest smile Mihael had ever seen.
Thump! What? Thump! Thump! What the hell is this? The blonde clutched at his chest. Thump! Thump! Thump! Stop already! Mihael yelled inwardly. As the redhead didn't notice this, he had turned around and bent down to pick up the notebook that was left on the ground. Almost instantly, the heart thumping slowed down and he was able to unhand his favorite leather jacket.
"When will you finish it?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Huh?!"
"When are you going to finish the song?" Matt handed over the music and stared at the blonde as he grabbed a hold of it and drew it in close to his chest. He had never finished a song. He wasn't able to. With his upbringing, he could get past the words his father boomed at him when he was just learning about music.
"What on God's Earth are you doing?!" boomed the voice of Viktor Keehl. A young child, squatting against the wall, held his hands over his head, shaking with fear. A beautiful woman stood by the doorway, watching the scene, remained silent. She would not interfere with what her husband was doing.
"Don't make me say it again. What on God's Earth are you doing?!" Viktor raised his hand and brought it down against the child, knocking him off his tiny legs and sending him flying across the room to the wall that stood not too far from where he stood. Slam! Crack!
The crack of ribs rang throughout the room. Although, it effected no one but the child that now housed those two broken bones. His father approached the battered child that remained on the floor, cowering from man he called Father. Instinctively, the young child raised one hand above his head and the other around his stomach, where the most pain was located.
"I… I was listening to… music." the voice of the child was shaking and scared, knowing all too well what would happen if he lied, yet knowing the same thing would come if he told the truth.
And he was right.
Viktor Keehl grabbed the child, who was barely bigger than his arm, and punch him, square on the face. The child coughed, sending blood all over his father's face. Disgusted, Mr. Keehl threw the child to the floor and called for his maid, "Emma!"
A young girl, barely 17 years old, came running into the room, careful enough not to touch the Lady of the House. She looked at the situation and knew that the Master had 'taught' his son another lesson. She cried on the inside, but it was a condition of her work to not question the Master and his personal life. She hurried over to the crumpled child and helped him up, careful of the broken bones that he was cradling with his right hand.
"Clean him up. We're going out tonight and he needs to make an appearance. He IS the next head of the family." The man towered over his child and snorted before turning his back on him. A sight the young child was familiar with.
"Come, Angelika. It is time to get dressed. Petra!" he called as his wife took him arm. An elderly woman came tottering around the corner, awaiting the orders for her master, leaving the boy in the hands of the young teenage girl.
Mihael awoke from the memory of so long ago to the feeling of warmth. A warmth he never felt in his house in Germany. A warmth he never thought existed. Matt was hugging, so close. The blonde could feel his face flush and become red with heat. He couldn't stop his heart from the loud thumping again. It rang in his ears. Thump! Thump! Thump! But, he didn't want it to end. He liked the feeling of the redhead's hands on his back and his head on his shoulder. Without thinking, Mihael dropped the notebook that he held so carefully, and wrapped his arms around the boy. He's surprising small in the torso area, yet… I can feel the toned muscles…
"Why are we doing this?" Mihael had snapped back to reality after his arms had circled around him. He felt the other shrug his shoulders, but he didn't let go.
"When you were quiet for a while, you looked… I don't know… desolate. You looked like you really needed a hug, so I took it upon myself to do just that. And here we are." Mihael chuckled, but before he could answer, Ring! Ring! Ring! Lunch had ended and it was time to go back to class. Matt was the first to pull away, which made the blonde feel a pang of sadness inside. Why?...
"You should come back here tomorrow. I'd like to see a few more of your songs… Is that okay?" The redhead had the face of a puppy dog on and it almost made Mihael laugh out loud, but all he did was crack a smile as he replied, "Sure. Why not? I'll see you tomorrow." He walked away with a smile on his face. He couldn't make his face muscles do anything else. He was on cloud nine the rest of the day; Matt never leaving his mind.
It wasn't until his driver dropped him off at Rod's place that his smile finally dropped. Walking through the doorway, he dropped every emotion from his face and immediately shot the kneecap of one of the underlings that stared at him. Filthy pigs…
A/N
Songs
World So Cold by 12 Stones
Monster by Skillet