Title: Fine
Author: ILB (an_ardent_rain)
Character(s)/Pairing: Simon and River
Rated: G
Disclaimer: Not mine!

Author's notes: Written for the LJ comm 30_Hugs, for the prompt "broken dreams". I'd really appreciate feedback!

Fine

Giving up his career in medicine had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

Getting the money to fund River's rescue hadn't been easy. Getting caught and having his father bail him out had been humbling. Breaking in and retrieving his poor, teenaged sister from the men torturing her had been one of the most trying experiences of his life.

But not for a minute did he regret that.

But he'd wanted to be a doctor for as long as he could remember. His father had groomed him for the occupation since nearly his birth, and after he'd discovered that helping and healing was so gratifying he had a vested interest in his father's plan. He'd done well in school, worked hard to get where he needed to go. And then he'd gotten accepted to the MedAcad and worked all the way to – as he was always proud to tell – the top three percent. Everyone had been so proud.

Things had continued going well. He was accepted for a prestigious fellowship, quickly made himself known as a diligent worker, earned enough per year to nearly keep up the lifestyle he had with his parents; he even got a hamster named after him. It was a fulfilling life and he hadn't wanted for anything.

But then he'd gotten the first letter.

River had written to him before, of course. She'd enlisted his help in convincing their parents to let her attend the Academy; and he'd been happy to argue for her. It had all looked so promising. Academics at a level that might finally challenge her, students with similar intellects and abilities – they never imagined what was really waiting for her there.

She'd mentioned people they didn't know, parties they'd never attended. He knew something was wrong, but Gabriel and Regan saw nothing; the Academy was Alliance controlled – of course everything was safe. Nothing was wrong, they'd told him. It was all in his imagination they'd assured him again and again. But as much as River loved to tease him, he knew that it wasn't a game.

They're hurting us.

She had no else to turn to. She had desperately needed his help. And never thinking twice he'd jumped in, giving up everything to save her.

"Simon!" The doctor was pulled out of his reverie by a sharp tug on his sleeve.

"What?" He smoothed down her hair and gave her a gentle smile. "River, what is it? Are you – "

She groaned and pressed her face into his chest, clinging to his shirt with both hands. "Hurts. Pumped the girl full of stones, full of acids and bases and rancid, dirty…" She curled into herself and groaned again, her whole body shaking. Simon sighed and wrapped his arms around her. She wasn't getting any better; she might never get any better.

"Don't worry," he said soothingly. "I'll find a new medication. This obviously isn't working, but… But I've researched several new treatments. I think it will help with the voices and – "

"Simon."

"What is it?" He rubbed soothing circles on her back.

She coughed. "I am going to vomit again."

Quickly he helped her turn around, holding her long, stringy hair back as she pushed out the contents of her stomach for the second time that day. At least she wasn't near his bed this time.

He wouldn't give up, no matter how futile the task seemed. He would pick bullets out of Mal, clean up after Jayne, deliver babies in brothels – and hold River's hair back when she needed to throw up. What was left for him anyway? His dream of being a doctor would never again be realized, but he could pick up the pieces as ship's medic. He didn't resent River – he would never. Because no matter how broken his dreams were, he had his sanity. He had his sanity, a whole brain; he didn't hear voices or the thoughts of others, indistinguishable from his own.

"Don't worry," Simon said, holding his trembling younger sister. She was babbling to herself, picking at her arm for something only she could see. He bit back his frustration, his outrage, his distress. "It'll be all right, River," he lied. "Everything will be fine."

If you read, please review. Thank you.