You stood at the bar nursing your drink. You chose the one with the most alcohol for tonight. You needed it. It has been one year since that faithful day, when your whole world fell apart. When you lost it all.
You didn't know how you managed. One day you had it all and the next it was ripped out of your hands. You still went to work, you still ate, you still did everything you used to do but your soul was gone. You didn't see the worth of trying when you didn't have they very things that gave your life meaning the minute you laid your eyes on her. Him leaving didn't help either. You blamed him for a long time, but with time came insight. Although it took time, you forgave him somewhat. But you still wanted your little girl back.
Your gaze fell on the dance floor, looking for something specific. You needed green eyes tonight. Sometimes you went for black hair, or a British accent. But tonight, you needed green eyes.
"Hey hot stuff. What are you doing here all on your lonesome?" You looked towards the voice. He was well built, had to much gel on his dark hair. His too perfect straight white teeth glowed slightly in the lighting of the night club you were in. You looked into his eyes looking for what you needed tonight. Eager brown eyes greeted you, along with a smug grin. You turned back to your drink.
"Not interested" The glass in your hands was empty so you signaled the bartender to bring you another drink. A few seconds later the glass in your hand was refilled, but the man had not left, much to your annoyance. You did not need this tonight.
"Ouch" He placed a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "Come on hot stuff. A pretty little thing like you deserves to be out on the dance floor in the arms of someone like me. I'll show you how to have fun." He whispered that last part into your ear. You quickly pulled away trying not to show your irritation on your face. Luckily you perfected your poker face in the past year.
"Not interested." You managed to avoid his eyes and kept your stare on the back wall of the bar. You felt his hand starting to creep into your lower back. In one rapid motion you had his hand in your grip and slammed it into the counter. You had learned a few things from your previous spouse. "I said Not. Interested" You made sure to make your voice drip with malice and looked into his eyes for the proper effect. You let go of his hand, wiping yours to get rid of the disgusting feeling it had. You took a calm sip of your drink. You thought after your little display that he would back of, but unfortunately for you he didn't.
"Oh, a feisty one. I always did like them with a bit of fire in them" Before you could hand him a piece of your mind, a hand slammed down on the counter in front of you, blocking your view of the imbecile.
"I believe the lady said she wasn't interested." You knew that voice. That voiced always raised the hairs on the back of your neck but for a whole different reason tonight. The tone of his voice worked to intimidate the idiot who was trying to hit on you, and he left. That just left you and the familiar stranger. The sounds of the night club droned around you but they quickly faded to nothing when he turned around. You would recognize those eyes anywhere. He was wearing a different face, one with weariness written all over it, but time could never change his eyes. You just stared at each other for a few long moments. He offered you a hand and you knew without exchanging any words what he was offering. You debated whether to take his hand or not, but in the end, you just had to look into his eyes and you already knew the answer. He took you to the dance floor and maneuvered the two of you into the center. You put your hands around his neck, and he placed his on your waist. As the opening notes to the next song played, you began to sway with back in your arms.
I've never so adored you
I'm twisting allegories now
I want to complicate you
Don't let me do this to myself
You knew him being here was a huge risk for you both but at this particular moment, you didn't care, and it seemed neither did he. You placed your head on his chest and closed your eyes. Being with him brought back so many memories, both good and bad.
I'm chasing roller coasters
I've got to have you closer now
Endless romantic stories
You never could control me
You felt him place his chin above yours and you both stilled. You just needed to be together, no matter who got hurt in the process.
Well, I never really thought that you'd come tonight
While the crown hangs heavy on either side
Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die
We're far too young to die
You lifted your head from his chest and opened your eyes. His eyes were what greeted you and you recognized the love and regret he had in them. They reflected exactly yours. Before any of you realized, your lips met. You didn't think, you never did when you were with him. You just let yourself go with your emotions. Around you, the song kept playing.
Fixation or psychosis?
Devoted to neurosis now
Endless romantic stories
You never could control me
When you broke away there were tears in you eyes and you could see that he was trying to hold back his.
Well, I never really thought that you'd come tonight
While the crown hangs heavy on either side
Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die
Well, I never really thought that you'd come tonight
When the crown hangs heavy on either side
Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die
We're far too young to die
Far too young to die
The song came to an end and the next one played on, but you didn't pay any attention to it. You were immersed in your own bubble. You pressed your forehead to his and breathed in his scent. It felt good to be with him again, but you knew deep down it would only bring hurt to you and everyone around you.
"You know this isn't the right thing, not without her" You said.
"I'll get her back I promise. Then we can be a family again."
"I don't think it'll be that easy." A few moments passed and the air around you grew heavy with what was being left unsaid. You were the one to break the silence.
"I don't know if we should do this" You whispered. You doubted he could hear you, but he still answered.
"I know"
"But I want to. God how I want to."
"I know. Me too." And you stayed quiet.
You still had your arms around his neck and his around your waist. He kissed the top of your head and stepped back, his arms still around you. He looked into your eyes and slowly, you both leaned in for a kiss. It wasn't sweet, it wasn't kind, it didn't feel like coming home. This kiss was sad, it was torn, and it felt like leaving all you loved behind you. The tears you had in your eyes fell from your eyes and into the kiss, leaving the taste of salt on your lips. You could still taste it when he parted. You knew what was going to happen next, although neither of you wanted it. You knew he was only doing it because he knew you didn't possess the strength to do it yourself. He took a step back and he leaned into your ear and whispered the same words he said to you before he left the first time.
"I promise to bring her back even if it the last thing I do. This I promise you" He stepped out of your arms and with one last look into your eyes, he stepped into the crowd and disappeared, leaving you were you started. Alone.
The words of the song played in your head, echoing inside.
Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die
We're far too young to die
Far too young to die