darling you deserve the stars
The first time she meets James Potter, she's having a bad morning. She drags her suitcase behind her, a bag filled with a ridiculous amount of camera kit weighing down her shoulder and colliding painfully with her hip bone at every other step; the key the girl on reception had given her is clasped in her teeth as she juggles her laptop case and the leather jacket that had been necessary in the unpleasant drizzle she'd left behind in England but not the Californian sun.
Mary likes to say that Lily is an over packer, Lily likes pointing out that at least she has never managed to forget all her jumpers on a trip to Scotland like someone-who-wouldn't-be-named did. "For fucks sake, Lil, that was one time!" "You also forgot the sun cream when we went to Spain." "Shut up, McKinnon."
To make matters worse, she can hear her phone ringing from inside her handbag that was swung over her other shoulder. "Shit," She mutters, looking around frantically for somewhere to dump her stuff, accidently dropping her key. "Oh fuck." Her phone's still ringing, Nicki Minaj's 'superbass' blaring out of its speaker. She's about to give up and ignore her phone, not seeing any possibility of her managing to retrieve it in time without damaging her laptop or camera bag when suddenly out of nowhere comes a young man, a mess of long limbs and black hair, a pair of ray bans fixed hazardously over his eyes and a crooked grin that might have made her heart flutter a little.
Before she has time to think, he's rescued her stuff from her arms and nods at her handbag. "Your phone's ringing." She scrambles into action, searching through the empty sweet wrappers and headphones until her hand made contact with the phone. Pulling it out, her thumb swipes across screen and she presses it to her ear. "Hey, Marlene." She holds a finger up to the man, mouthing "One minute," at him. He keeps on grinning. Her heart keeps on fluttering.
"Where are you? You've got to get down here, it's crazy, everyone's here." Marlene McKinnon yells over the pulsing music.
"I don't know, Marlene. Jetlag's a bitch and I still need to iron out a few details of my meet-up."
"Get over yourself, Evans, you have to come. I'm not going to take no for an answer."
She takes a deep breath and raises a hand to her forehead, smoothing out the crinkle in her brow. If she could describe Marlene McKinnon in one word it would be untameable. She was an unstoppable force, a whirlwind of blonde hair, west end musical medleys, and impromptu rants on feminism. Once she had decided something, very little could be done to stop her short of locking her in a room without phone signal or internet access and even then she could find a way of organising the blind-date she was forcing Lily to go on (not that Lily had ever tried that of course).
She was singlehandedly the most infuriating person Lily had ever met in her life. Ever.
For some reason Lily loved her.
"Fuck you, Marlene." She grumbles into the speaker. The man chuckles, his quiet laugh bringing light into the corridor. Lily looks up at him, the face seeming familiar.
"So I'll see you in ten minutes?" Marlene's hopeful voice tumbles out of the phone, Lily can practically see her carefree grin that was undoubtedly crossing her friends face.
"Twenty." She replies firmly.
"Fifteen?"
"Marlene."
"Seventeen?"
A small smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. "Bye, Marlene." She presses the small red icon on her screen before locking her phone and tossing it back into her bag. Immediately her phone pings with a text, almost definitely from an angry Marlene. She ignores it, quickly leaning down to pick up her key, shoving it into her back pocket.
"Thanks." Lily says to the man, holding out her arms for her laptop and jacket. He carefully hands the items back, staring at Lily with an intensity that brings blood rushing to her cheeks.
"You're Lily Evans, aren't you?" He asks, running a hand through his unruly hair. She nods, frozen with shock. It wasn't every day an incredibly fit guy knew your name. "I'm James, James Potter." He's still grinning, she begins to ask herself if he ever stopped. That name though, it's ringing a bell somewhere in the back of her head, albeit a muffled one.
The gears finally click into place as he rolls up the sleeves of his dark red hoodie and she catches sight of black ink scrawled across his inner arm, the tattoo starting from just beneath his elbow and reaching down to the edge of his wrist, the words 'long live the reckless' etched into his arm.
"You've got a youtube channel haven't you?" Lily blurts out. She doesn't watch his videos, they're not really her style but she'd stumbled across one a year or so ago that she'd fallen in love with. Titled 'living life to the full' it had been five minutes of clips of him and two of his friends travelling around Europe; the trip seemed to involve a lot of skateboarding shirtless and pranking each other, laughter filling most of the clips, whether it was quiet snickers, to full on crying and rolling round on the floor. That wasn't what had entranced her so much though, it was the way he captured the scenery, the way he focused the camera, his technique was impeccable.
"Well yeah, it's kind of why I'm here." He replies, smirking at her. She could've punched herself. Of course he had a youtube channel, it was Vidcon after all, and they're standing on the floor that she knew most youtubers rooms were on, in the hotel where all the youtubers were staying.
Idiot.
"Sorry, jetlag." She offers up as an excuse. James shakes his head slightly and says "Don't worry, I've already walked into most of the furniture in my room, and spilt tea all over my sofa." Lily giggles.
"Your channel's 'coffeewithlily', right? I have to say, I absolutely loved your video on protecting the bees."
"Well, they're so important in pollinating our food and most people forget that without them we would have virtually nothing and bee populations have been decreasing massively since 1990, I mean even since 2010 alone, forty five percent of the commercial honey bees in the UK have disappeared, and then if you throw in the extra problem of global warming-" Lily tails off and blushes again as she notices him biting down on his lip and holding back laughter. "Sorry, I get carried away when people mention bees." She mutters, not making eye contact.
"No, no, I shouldn't have laughed." James replies hurriedly. "You're just really cute when you ramble."
Her cheeks are stained positively scarlet. "I've um, I've got to go and get ready for this party thing," Lily stammers. "Thanks for holding my stuff and everything."
"No problem. See you around, Lily."
She nods quickly and hurried down the corridor, turning once she reached her door. James is standing where she had left him, typing something into his phone before he heads towards the lift, flashing her a smile as she ducks into her room.
The next time she sees James Potter, Lily's leaning against the bar in the green room whilst she waits for the bartender to pour her drink. It's the last night of Vidcon and she's looking forward to heading home. It wasn't that she doesn't enjoy meeting her subscribers and taking part in various panels, but she misses her flat and England. The bartender places her lemonade in front of her and she slides a dollar bill towards him in return. She glances around the green room, looking for someone she could sit with.
"Hello again." A voice says from beside her. She can't stop the warmth that spreads through her at the sound.
"Hey." She replies, turning to face him. His hurricane hair is hidden under a maroon beanie this time but the few locks visible are perfectly styled.
"Come and sit with us," he says, not waiting for an answer before he grabs her hand and pulls her over to a crowded table. Lily laughs, trying to ignore how their hands fitted together like jigsaw pieces and taking the seat next to him on the sofa. James introduces her quickly, his arm casually draped behind her.
With his hair drawn back into a man bun, the man on the other side of James shakes her hand. "I'm Sirius, this twat's best mate." He jerks his head towards James and smirked, Lily giggles. The conversation drifts from topic to topic and various people around the table vlog moments. James's fingers graze her shoulder when Sirius starts his vlog and she ignores that every nerve explodes.
"Hey guys, so I'm with Fabian, Benjy, Gideon's somewhere, Hestia, Dorcas, James, and Lily. Would you believe this is the first time I've met Lily?" Sirius's says into his camera, leaning back so James and Lily are in shot, she waves and laughs whilst James sticks up his middle finger.
"Ignore James, he's a prick." Sirius adds, before turning the camera back on himself. "Anyway, hopefully we'll see a bit more of Lily because she's pretty cool and she watches Luther, so you know I love her already. Anyway I will see you guys later." He turns off his camera and stuffs it into his pocket. "You'll have to come to London and collab soon." He says and so she does.
She isn't quite sure how it happens but suddenly James has crammed himself into the cracks of her life. If she isn't with Marlene or Mary she's usually in his flat with him and Sirius, laughing as he pretends he can do parkour or letting him teach her how to skateboard and shuffle cards properly. She tells him about her dad's heart attack and how her sister constantly belittles her YouTube channel. He tells her about how he was going to play football professionally but he shattered his thigh bone in a car crash and missed the trials. She meets his other best friend Remus and learns how the three of them went to boarding school together, with another boy Peter who they don't speak to anymore after he sold a load of secrets about James and Sirius to the tabloids. He vlogs more than her and it only takes a week of him capturing their time together in his camera frame before #jily is born.
She steals his hoodies and beanies and helps Remus stop Sirius and James living in onesies. He buys her more badges to cover her extensive number of messenger bags and changes his ringtone on her phone to a One Direction song after she told him how much she hated them. She hides plastic spiders in his shoes in retaliation and Sirius high-fives her as James stands on their kitchen counter screaming. They film countless videos in front of her wall in her little flat covered in her train/cinema/plane/concert/theatre/convention tickets and he helps her film in the weeks where it's just her in front of the lens. They watch the Great British Bake Off together and burn cookies because they were distracted by the radio playing Bohemian Rhapsody. Marlene casually jokes in a vlog that James has replaced her as Lily's best friend and they trend worldwide for thirteen hours.
James ruffles her hair and asks her how the weather is down there and she elbows him in the ribs because she is 5 ft 4 and a half and that is only slightly smaller than average height. She goes on a date with a guy she met in a book shop but two hours later she turns up on James's door because the guy was boring and asked her when she was going to get a real job. James pulls her up Parliament Hill on Bonfire Night and blows warmth into her numb fingers as the fireworks paint colour across the dark sky and Sirius finds them curled up on the sofa the next morning, with blankets tucked under feet. She decides it makes more sense for her to move to London instead of spending all her time travelling into the city from Oxford. Her YouTube reaches new heights and she hits 10 million subscribers and suddenly she isn't just a girl filming in her bedroom. Marlene buys her Taylor swift concert tickets to celebrate and she all but forgets about Petunia's wedding invitation sitting on her mantelpiece, a scribbled note on the back explaining she's only invited because their mother insisted.
Sirius and Marlene snog at a Christmas party and Lily gives James one of the stones with holes in she collects and hangs on windows to ward off evil spirits. He laughs and hugs her and she can feel his heartbeat seep through his shirt. He tells her the reason Sirius calls him Prongs is because he was positive a stags antlers were called prongs until Sirius googled it one time and he calls Sirius Padfoot because he could move almost silently and would creep up on James and Remus at school, Remus is Moony because he took astrology as a subject and when he's drunk he tends to start naming Saturn's 62 moons in alphabetical order. On moving day, James finds the invite and his eyes darken and his jaw clenches. Lily just shrugs her shoulder and tapes shut another box.
They go to the wedding together and Lily blushes when she opens the door and James tells her she look's beautiful, she winks once she's recovered and replies that he looks pretty handsome himself. She takes great pleasure in the look on the guest's faces as they pull up to the church in his new Aston Martin, and James opens her door and helps her out. Petunia shoots her a glare in the ceremony and James holds her hand and traces circles with his thumb until it stops shaking. He hauls her onto the dance floor at the reception and they slow dance to Elvis Presley's 'Can't help falling in love with you'. Lily forgets how to breathe when their eyes meet. Their lips collide later that night in her kitchen, and he leaves violet bruises on her collarbone, carving his name into her veins. She doesn't sleep that night, happiness thrumming in her bones. James posts a picture of them at the wedding on Instagram and she does the same. Sirius demands a tenner off Remus when they tell them and kisses Lily cheek. James can't stop grinning and the four of them binge watch 'How to get away with murder' on Netflix.
Sirius crashes YouTube one night when he accidently vlogs James's phone lock screen which is a picture of him and Lily kissing. He apologises non-stop until Lily tells him to stop being an idiot because it was going to get out at some point. James announces it in an #askprongsfoot video when someone asks who Lily prefers, James or Sirius, and James says he hopes she prefers him considering she's his girlfriend. Lily chooses to tell her subscribers by putting him in her monthly favourite's video and Marlene almost cries because she can finally stop editing out their cute moments in her vlogs. Lily meets his parents and they show her his baby photos and tell her how they always thought he could have been a professor, or politician with that head of his but love how happy YouTube makes him. She takes him to her dad's grave and he holds her as she sobs.
They reach a 100 day snap streak on Snapchat and James tweets it excitedly. Lily gives him a key to her flat and he drops in nearly every day, bringing her cookie dough ice cream when she's on her period and helps her put up fairy lights in every room. He goes to Barcelona with Sirius and Benjy Fenwick and she meets him at the airport when he gets back. Gideon Prewett calls him gay when he says he vlogs so much because his memory will fade but footage can't and James tells him to fuck off because you can't use gay as an insult. Someone tweets Lily that James is just a rich twat who paid his way to the top of YouTube and she throws her phone across the room because she sees how hard he works and how much he's earned everything he's achieved. When convention season rolls around they fly to Vidcon together and share a hotel room and James jokes that there should be a plaque in the corridor where they met.
Remus graduates from university and she, James, and Sirius cheer louder than anyone else when his name is announced. Lily confesses to James that she wanted to do a degree in English Literature but YouTube meant she didn't have enough time and she still desperately wants to write a book but she doesn't want people to buy it because she wrote it, but because it's good. James makes her coffee and edits her videos whilst she writes and carries to her bed when she falls asleep at her desk. Severus Snape tweets James that he isn't good enough for Lily and James tweets back that 'a racist ukip supporter is hardly going to be much better' and Lily tweets a selfie of her and James with the love heart emoji. At Christmas they kiss under the mistletoe and she buys him a first edition of his favourite book. He gives her a Polaroid camera for her 23rd birthday and tells her he loves her. She's never been that bothered by Eurovision but James is obsessed with it (it's the highlight of his year along with the Bake Off apparently) so she joins him and Sirius and finds herself live-tweeting the entire experience. They take a road trip to Cornwall and listen to ABBA exclusively, and when she asks him if he wants to move in with her she can feel him say yes against her lips and she smiles till her cheeks ache.
She writes to publishers under a pseudonym and when her book gets accepted she calls her mum and James brings home a bottle of champagne and they watch the entire first series of 'Merlin'. James hits 11 million subscribers the same weekend her book becomes a bestseller and they spend it in bed, with legs tangled together and mugs of tea warming their hands. Remus's joints flare up again and they visit him in hospital and Lily can't bear to watch him in so much pain. They bring him books and chocolate and he thrashes James at chess.
They invite Petunia and her husband Vernon and Lily's mum round for dinner and Vernon fumes when James mentions that he went to school with the current England cricket captain. Lily's mum gushes over their flat and the Tiffany necklace James had bought her for their 6 month anniversary. Petunia gives them an envelope of photos the photographer had taken of them at her wedding the previous year and later Lily frames one or two of them. They go to Paris in the summer and Lily takes photos of James peering over the edge of the Eiffel Tower. They eat croissants and drink coffee and Lily falls deeper and deeper in love with him. Neither of them vlog and she realises she's forgotten how to just be still in a moment.
Back in London life becomes hectic again because the lease on their flat has run out and they spend spare afternoons in accounting meetings or looking at houses. They find one in an area with a primary school and she can already imagine dropping a little black haired boy or girl off at school in the mornings. Sirius comes and helps them out when they actually move and they spend the evening drinking wine out of mugs on the floor surrounded by boxes and candles and Lily takes a Polaroid and sticks it to the empty fridge. "Wow so arty," "Fuck you, Sirius." She has lunch with one of her subscribers who she talks to a lot on twitter and James drops by because he's forgotten his keys again and the girl nervously asks if they can take a selfie. He throws her one of his easy going grins that Lily loves so much and they all crowd in to fit in the photo. Sirius comes round one evening with a black-eye and a split lip and tells them that he went to see his brother and his dad kicked him out of the house. His voice cracks and Lily cleans his cuts and James phones Remus and when Lily checks on him the next morning, he's curled up in the bed, as if he's trying to make himself small enough to disappear.
They plan a holiday in Venice to avoid the October drizzle and spend days exploring museums and galleries. James films a lot but doesn't vlog, he just captures the moments. One evening they go for a walk and James drops to one knee on a bridge overlooking a canal. Lily feels like her rib cage has opened up and the stars that hold the sky up have climbed into her heart. He slides the ring onto her finger and when they kiss she can taste the fire that lives in his eyes. They keep it a secret until James has put all his clips to good use and makes the most beautiful film of the trip to upload on his channel. Lily chooses to edit in clips from the past two years into her video and uploads their story, starting with Sirius's first vlog of the pair and finishing with a photo of their entwined fingers, the ring sparkling in the light.
They get married in the summer, with Sirius as the Best Man and Marlene as the Maid of Honour. No-one gives her away, but Lily doesn't mind because she can see Sirius trying to calm James down at the alter as he runs his hand through his hair and she can't believe this complete dork is hers and hers alone. Sirius wolf whistles when James kisses her and she can't stop looking at her husband because he's so goddamn perfect and his lips taste light sunlight. They go to Wales for their honeymoon and she threads flowers through her hair and James gives her piggyback rides around the cottage they stay in. They eat fudge and Lily sleeps with her face buried in the crook of his neck.
Sirius buys them a kitten which they call Eponine because Lily's watched Les Mis seventeen times. James and him go and watch Liverpool play Chelsea and return covered in face paint and slightly drunk because bloody Sturridge is a bloody genius. Remus and Lily visit Foyles on Charing Cross Road and spend the whole day drinking coffee and reading books. Sirius continues to call her Evans and James grin stupidly when she replies "It's Potter,"
They spend Christmas in London and Eponine knocks baubles off the tree.
But then they get a call at 3 in the morning because James's mum has been rushed to hospital and the world they've built shatters in an instant. The Daily Mail publish photos of James and Sirius smoking behind the hospital with gaunt faces and tired eyes.
James Potter heyitsjames
hey dailymail next time your mum's diagnosed with cancer I'll pay people to follow and photograph you shall I?
Sirius Black padfoot
dailymail you're a bunch of absolute wankers. Fuck off you disrespectful cunts and keep your bloody paparazzi away from me and my brother
Lily Evans coffeewithlily
'Absolutely disgusting behaviour from dailymail.
Sirius Black padfoot
dailymail just finished speaking with heyitsjames and my lawyer. See you in court bitch
The Daily Mail UK dailymail
We would like to apologise to heyitsjames & padfoot. We had no intention of causing harm. (1/2)
The Daily Mail dailymail
We keep your family in our hearts during this difficult time and pray for the speedy recovery of Mrs Potter. (2/2)
The Daily Mail was today ordered to pay compensation of a six figure sum each to YouTubers James Potter and Sirius Black by the courts after being sued for invasion of privacy and defamation. They have also been banned from writing about the pair and their families (including fellow YouTuber and wife Lily Potter) for three years. (BBC News, 26/11/15)
Lily watches the first signs of spring from a hospital corridor and when the weather is nice enough, they wheel Euphemia out into the hospital gardens where she tells Sirius how to best grow hydrangeas.
Lily drives James to the funeral and slips an arm around his waist to stop him from sinking into the grass. The ceremony is simple but beautiful. James talks about his childhood years and the light Euphemia brought to the world and Sirius chokes through his tears and tells the church about how she welcomed him into their family and treated him like a son. Fleamont smiles through his tears because his boys are so grown up and he couldn't be prouder of them. He doesn't wake up the next morning and James can feel the bruises on his rib cage from his heart breaking. Lily organises the second funeral and Sirius reads a poem Fleamont had written for his wife years before. James pulls his shoulders back and stands tall with grim determination. Remus helps the pair shoulder the heavy coffin and the group of four stand by the grave until night falls and Lily and Remus pull the broken boys home.
It's two months before Lily wakes up and sees a glint of light in James's eyes. "I missed our first anniversary." He whispers sadly. She brushes hair out of his face and murmurs against his lips that it doesn't matter. He pulls her into her chest and she presses kisses into the hollows of his skin as he traces constellations across her back. They eat breakfast on their balcony littered with autumn leaves and he starts scribbling in his video ideas notebook. Sirius and Remus drop by for lunch and Sirius pretends to faint at the sight of yet another stain of purple and blue decorating Lily's neck.
"You two are disgusting. Stick some concealer on Lils, I need to vlog." He declares, collapsing onto their sofa. She chucks a pillow at him and James pretends to look pissed off because "you come into my house and insult my marriage!" James grabs her round the waist and pulls her into his lap, his lips finding her cheek and smirking at Sirius who mimes being sick. Remus rescues Eponine from the neighbour's dog and Lily orders enough pizza to feed an army. They get drunk on cheap wine and sleep in the living room. Sirius convinces Remus to be in a video and Lily finds herself playing Twister at ten in the morning with several mugs of coffee keeping her hangover at bay. James cheats so Lily nudges him with her toe and he falls into Sirius who falls into Remus and she takes a photo to put on Instagram. She thinks about how lucky she is later that night, when James tangles his fingers through her hair and their swollen lips meet.
No-one is that surprised when Lily announces she's pregnant in the middle of November. They wait as long as possible until telling the internet and Lily cries because there is so much support flooding in and she can't possibly deserve this much love. James wraps his arms around her because she has stardust in her eyes and flowers in her heart and he can't find the words to tell her how much he loves her. They start converting one of the spare bedrooms (not the one Sirius always stays in) and Marlene turns up on their door with ten litres of paint and a Led Zeppelin album. They give Sirius a copy of the ultrasound for Christmas. "We thought you would want one, with you being the godfather and all that." James says. It's the first time Lily has seen Sirius genuinely lost for words. They spend the evenings flicking through parenting books whilst watching Masterchef and Lily desperately tries to convince James that Greg is an awful name for a baby. Lily's mum knits a blanket that sits in the new cot in the nursery that James spent an afternoon building. They celebrate Lily's 26th birthday and she feels so old because she's 8 years on YouTube and time's passing too quickly, slipping through her fingertips. James's 26th a couple of months later is a more subdued event because Lily can't drink and James doesn't want to leave her in case something happens ("I'm only five months pregnant Potter, I'm sure I'll survive." "Shush Lily this is not up for debate,"). Sirius arrives with Titanic on DVD and Lily is banned from telling anyone about the three men crying on her sofa at one in the morning because "jesus Lils why didn't he just get on the float?" "I don't know Sirius, ask the director." "Fuck the director."
Remus stubs his toe and swears so violently even Sirius stops laughing at James attempting to make a house of cards for a minute to look mildly astonished. Petunia sends Lily a photo of her son and it takes Lily a minute of squinting before she realises what it is. Remus takes her to her latest scan because James is stuck in meetings and his eyes widen when the monitor flickers on and Lily and James's baby is on the screen, because Remus still remembers the scruffy eleven year old who tried to fit seven pieces of pizza in his mouth in one go like it was yesterday.
Lily's editing a video when her waters break. She yells for James who completely freezes because he's not ready to be a dad, not yet. He calls Sirius whilst they drive to the hospital and then a midwife is telling Lily to push and her hair is plastered to her forehead and James thinks she's the most beautiful person in the world. Lily screams once more and then there's silence in the room and the tiniest baby he's ever seen is crying and he's crying and Lily's crying. A midwife hands Lily the bundle of blankets and suddenly they have a son and he's a dad. James's hands shake as he hugs his son to his chest and he strokes the shock of black hair. Sirius and Remus arrive and Harry James Potter blinks and opens his eyes and they're the brightest shade of green. Remus holds up a bag of soft toys and Sirius settles himself into a chair and James hands him Harry and Lily can't stop the happiness that burns through her as she watches her boys, all four of them, because they haven't just survived, they've lived and they've loved and they've been loved and they'll be loved for the rest of their lives.
A/N yeah so thoughts/opinions/improvements appreciated