Ok, I know I've not updated "Your ExLover's Dead" yet, but I've been grounded all week, so I'll update ASAP. I already had this typed so I thought I'd post it before my parents got home. haha Well, it's another depressingly good story, hope you like it! I don't own Harry Potter or the song Jumper by Third Eye Blind. Well, read, enjoy, REVIEW!
"Granger..."
I turned away from him. I wasn't in the mood to be taunted. Not tonight. I began walking a little faster as I heard his footsteps behind me.
"Please..." I stopped. Since when did he say please? And to me? I turned slowly to face him, and the sight shocked me. He just stood there, standing tall and proud as usual, nothing about him seemed weak. But his eyes gave him away. They were torrents of pain and confusion. What did he want from me?
"I need your help, Granger. I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important..." He stood defiantly, but his eyes were pleading. They were heartbreaking.
"What do you need from me, Malfoy? What could I possibly do to help you?" he sighed and his shoulders sagged under a weight I couldn't see. He took a step closer, and I suprisingly didn't take one back. When he was within touching distance, he leaned to the side, his shoulder hitting against the stone wall with a dull thud.
"Please, don't leave. That's all I ask." I could feel the shock registering on my face. The way my eyebrows shot up into my bangs and my mouth fell into a perfect O. We'd been living together for months now, well, figuratively speaking. I was, of course, named Head Girl the summer before seventh year, and to my shock, Malfoy had been named Head Boy. We'd fought every day, usually ending with my tears or him being brutally hexed. That is, until recently. I'd been woken up in the middle of the night several times in the last month or so by his screams. I'd rushed to his room in a panic theh first few times, but after a week or so, I learned to just turn over and drift back off. I didn't know what demons haunted him in the dark, and I didn't care to find out. Not until now.
I'd been woken up like every other night to blood-curdling screams. I would have just gone back to sleep if they hadn't been different from before. Instead of his usual unintelligable shrieks, he had been screaming out a name tonight. My name. I had rushed in, just in time to find him at his open window, ready to take the plunge.
"Why? What's my being here going to solve?" His eyes were glazed over by exaustion and fear. He reached out for my arm and pulled me to him. I was too shocked to push myself away when his arms wrapped around me. What was he playing at? Did he realize what he was doing? Or was he just half asleep and wholly insane?
When I had found him ready to jump from the tower, I had rushed to his side, trying in vain to pull him off of the sill. When I screamed his name, he seemed to have woken up and carefully stepped down on his own. It had taken him a moment to register what had happened, but when he did, he had pushed me away with such force, knocking me across the room close to the door. And now he's hugging me?! What's going on with him? Maybe he has lost his mind...
"Malfoy...Draco...there's nothing I can do for you..." I looked at him, seeing the slight hurt register in his eyes before he let me go.
I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that youve been living in
And if you do not want to see me again I would understand
I would understand
"Oh..." was his answer as I began making my way towards the door again. But something stopped me. It was the strangest sound I had ever heard. Like a sharp intake of breath followed by a pained moan. But then I realized, it was a sob. I turned to see him buckle and land on the floor in a heap. He was sobbing all the while. What has happened to him?! I walked carefully to him, not knowing exactly what to do next.
"Draco...? Are you okay?" I reached down to brush my hand through his platinum hair, and found myself embracing him instead. My arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding him tightly like a frightened child.
"Shhh. It's ok. It'll all be okay now...shhh..." I soothed him with whispers and rocked him back and forth, his face pressed into the crook of my neck. After what seemed like hours, he calmed down enough to face me. His eyes were bloodshot, but they held a strangely strong tone. His gaze pierced mine, searching for something I wasn't sure I could give.
"Don't go." he said it so plainly. So commanding that all I could do was nod. He pulled me closer to him and held me for a minute. I closed my eyes tight, not knowing what I had just done.
"Don't tell anyone about this, Granger." I stiffened in his hold, thinking that maybe he had turned back to the cruel bastard I knew and loathed. But he didn't. He still held fast to me and every now and then, his shoulders would heave with a shuddering breath.
The angry boy a bit too insane When he moved away and stood, bringing me to my feet as well, I wasn't sure what to do. Did I go back to my room? Or really stay with him? If I stayed, what would that mean?"Draco? What happened to you?" My question was simple, but oh so destructive. He looked at me in confusion before contemplation emerged and his eyes grew cold.
Icing over a secret pain
You know you dont belong
Youre the first to fight
Youre way too loud
Youre the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know somethings wrong
"Does it really matter, Hermione?" His voice cut with an edge I hadn't been expecting, but when I turned to leave, I found his hand grasping my wrist desperately.
"I'm sorry..." he muttered, "please don't go. Just stay with me, I can't be alone..."
"I know. I'll stay." I didn't look at him as I said it, but I knew then that I couldn't leave, because if I did, who knows how long it would be before I was woken up by screams and he was ready to throw himself out the window. It was my duty to stay I guess.
He led me towards the bed and we both sat down. He wouldn't look at me as I reached over and lit the candle on the bedstand. I smiled at him awkwardly and reached for the book on the table. It was a random library book he must have been reading in his spare time. Actually, I believe I had already read it. I motioned for him to move over so I could lay my head against the headboard. He did so, and I opened the book to the marked page. As I read aloud, he rested his head against my shoulder.
Well everyone I know has got a reason
To say put the past away...
I read until my voice grew horse and his eyes remained shut. As his breath became steady and rythmic, I took the chance to actually look at him. He had bags under his eyes that I hadn't taken the time to care about before. His skin was paler than usual, and his forehead was creased with worry lines. What was waking him up in the night? What demons couldn't he fight in his dreams?
I woke up to the sun beating down into my eyes through open curtains. I groaned with dissapproval before realizing that I wasn't alone. My eyes snapped open and I cautiously turned my head. Malfoy was looking at me in a very peculiar fashion. His eyes seemingly lost in a dream, yet he was looking right at me. When our eyes collided, a simple smile graced his lips and I almost smiled in return. That is, until I heard someone else calling my name. The next thing I knew, Malfoy's door was being blasted off its hinges.
"Hermione?! What the bloody hell's going on?!!" Harry stood in the door frame, his wand outstretched and his face horror stricken. Then I realized what this must look like. I was in my sleep shorts and a tanktop and Malfoy was only in a pair of sleep pants! And we were just lying there entwined under the sheets of his bed! Oh dear God...
"Harry...let me explain...just give me a second to meet you in the Common Room..." I said it with as much calm authority as humanly possible, knowing that Harry wouldn't kill Malfoy yet if he just let me talk.
"Go bugger off, Potter." came Malfoy's voice by my ear, his arm pulling me closer to him. I could feel that look of shock register across my face before Harry came charging in, his wand at Malfoy's throat and his other arm pulling me forcefully from the bed. As I was dragged out of the room, I looked back to see Malfoy laughing, back to his usual prick attitude. Harry dragged me back to my room, throwing me in and telling me to change clothes immediately, turning around so I had a little privacy.
"Harry, really, let me explain. This is rediculous!" he was fuming by that point and I had to tell him my side of the story quickly, trying to leave out Malfoy crying as best I could, because I had promised not to tell and all. Harry nodded his head as I spoke, seemingly believing every word. When we made our way down the stairs towards the Common Room, Malfoy was already there eating a piece of toast. As Harry and I reached the door, I heard his call out, "Fancy another shag before Hogsmeade, Granger?" It was all I could do to push Harry out the door without getting myself mowed over in the process.
That night, I was awoken again by the sound of my name. I sat up and contemplated whether or not it was worth going to his rescue again. But me being me, I did. And found him beating the headboard with bloody fists.
"No! Hermione, run! God no! Please! I beg of you, please! NO!" his screams sent icy shivers down my spine and I ran to him, pulling him towards the foot of the bed and away from the headboard. He thrashed in my embrace and his knuckle smeared blood down my cheek.
"Draco! Wake up! Draco, it's safe now, I promise! It's safe, so wake up!"
Well hes on the table and hes gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What theyre doing here
His eyes shot open and he looked around him wildly. His breath was ragged and labored and his brow was sweating profusely. He finally saw me hovering over him and the blood smearing my cheek.
"Oh God, no! Say...I-I didn't...hurt...you!" he gasped between frenzied breath. I shook my head and reached for one of his hands.
"You didn't hurt me, just yourself..." he studied his bruised and bloodied fists for a moment before sighing in relief. Then he pulled me close and held fast to me. I just sat there, not knowing if I wanted to hug him back. "Let's get those hands cleaned up, okay?" he nodded and I led him carefully to the Head Boy's bathroom. We washed the blood off and I wrapped his hands gingerly in bandages I found under the sink. All the while he never took his eyes off of me.
"Hermione...I'm sorry for this morning. I didn't know how to excuse the situation without being a bastard." he muttered, and I had to strain to hear him.
"It's all right. You're just lucky Harry didn't kill you." I laughed, but then I noticed he didn't. He just looked more upset.
"I wish he had..." he whispered, and I gasped in shock. His eyes met mine and my heart broke. He wasn't joking. He really wanted Harry to kill him...
"Why?! What's happening to you, Draco?" I whispered frantically, dropping the bandages and taking his face between my hands. He didn't answer me. He merely picked up the wet rag I had used to clean his hands and began wiping the blood from my cheek. His smile was sobering and made me want to cry tonight.
"It's not like I have anyone who would care either way..."
And your friends have left you
Youve been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
"I would care..."
He looked at me, and his eyes burned so fiercly that I thought my statment might have angered him. Then he dropped the wrag and pulled me to him again. This time, though, he kissed me. He kissed me so hard I knew my lips would bruise, but I didn't care. I was more concerned with the fact that I liked his kiss. I kissed him back and he pulled me ever closer to his body, my hands raking his bare back. He lifted me into his arms with ease, never breaking the kiss, and carried me to his room. We dropped onto the bed roughly, and I couldn't supress a moan. What made me want him now? His vulnerability? Why was he suddenly so strikingly beautiful? What made me so beautiful to him now?
I broke the kiss to get fresh air into my lungs, and took the chance to look at him. His eyes were worry worn and his breath was in raging gasps. Apparently, this wasn't how he had wanted things to go. Without a word, I stood and made my way to my own room, though I knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.
The third night was different. I was woken by his screams as usual, but also with a loud crash. He was breaking something! I ran to his room, but he had locked the door before going to sleep that night. I banged on it for minutes, while I heard him inside tearing his room apart.
"Draco! Draco please, OPEN THE DOOR!!" I yelled, and when my response was the sound of breaking glass, I decided to mimic Harry and just blast the thing to shreds. I rand back to my room and grabbed my wand then went to his door. I closed my eyes, muttered the spell, then heard wood splintering beneath the force. When I rushed in, he was crouched in the corner, clutching to himself. His hair was a mess and his arms and chest were scratched to shreds. The rest of the room was a complete disaster. I ran to his side, throwing myself onto the floor beside his shaking figure.
"Draco...Draco, it's okay." I whispered, but he only shook his head violently. I reached out to touch him, but he slapped my hand aside. What were these nightmares? What visions were tearing him apart? And what role did I play in his demons self destruction?!
I tried to touch him again, and this time he fell into my arms. He shook violently as I stroked his back, trying to calm him the best I could.
"Draco, it's time you tell me what's going on...face your demons, Draco. It'll kill you if you don't..." He gasped before pushing me roughly aside.
"Better it kill me than you." he whispered before trying to crawl away. I reached out and threw myself down upon him, wrestling him to face me.
"What's that supposed to mean, Draco?! What part do I play in all this?!" I was frantic for him to look at me, and when he did, I regretted it. His eyes were rimmed with tears, and the look in them was so pained. I felt a tightening in my chest and realized that I, too, was crying. I leaned forward and gently kissed his forehead. He closed his eyes before the tears began pooling against his cheeks.
"I'm not safe, Hermione. Not safe at all..."
And I, I want you to know
Everyones got to face down the demons
Maybe today
You could put the past away
I looked at him questioningly before he pushed himself up and pulled me into another bone-crushing embrace. He kissed me frantically and desperately. I could feel our tears mingle as they fell into the little space between us. He let me go and stood up. I watched as he made his way towards his nightstand. He reached into the drawer and pulled out his wand.
"I wish Potter had killed me, Hermione. Then I couldn't do this...I wouldn't have to do this...I could simply love you and we could live. Just live."
He turned towards me and realization hit me so hard, I felt the air knocked out of my lungs. This was a mission. His role in the Dark Lord's plan was to kill me! He was going to kill me! I stood, my wand lying inbetween us, too far for me to reach in time. I looked at him again, his face streamed with tears as he raised his wand, pointing directly towards my heart. I could do nothing to save myself. So I merely smiled, realizing that if I was going to die, atleast I had fallen in love first. His eyes closed tightly in pain and he sobbed before looking at me again.
"Avada Kadavra."
Can you put the past away
Well, hope you ejoyed that, and if you didn't...well, it's not like I made you read it. haha. Anyways, whether or not you liked it, leave me a comment, tell me what you think!
Catch you on the flip side
Sailor Tin Foil