Not Strong Enough
By: Shin Sankai
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An extremely handsome General was strolling through the markets in Kyou, eyes occasionally glancing at some of the opened stalls lining the streets as he did so. Vendors were trying to catch the attention of passers-by hoping they would purchase goods from them.
"Tomomasa-san!" At the call of his name, the teal haired General, dressed beautifully in flowing kimono and robes decorated with flowers turned at the call. His smiling orbs and mouth caught the lightly jogging girl heading his way, a big grin on her face while her emerald eyes sparkled.
"Konbanwa Miko-dono." He watched the pink haired teen pout at his greeting. "Akane-dono, you are looking rather cute this evening." She beamed another smile up at him and began to lightly chat with one of her Hachiyou about the festivities going on. The young Miko was dressed sweetly in a kimono. She'd never worn one before and was glad the princess was more then happy to help her along with her servants.
"Shimon-kun was telling me that…" Though the General listened to most of what Akane was saying, his mind couldn't help but wonder as to where his younger Byakko partner was. Fujiwara no Takamichi had promised to meet him by the river and yet the young Vice Minister had never come. He'd been on his way to search for the missing 19 year old and was now thinking up ways to make Takamichi guilty for having stood him up. After all, no one dared stand up the most handsome General in Kyou.
"Ne, Tomomasa-san, do you think Takamichi-san will be okay?"
"Hmm?" Tomomasa darted his teal orbs down to saddened emerald ones.
"I ran into Yasuaki-san and he informed me he'd been passing by the Archives Office when the Minister had called for help. He and some of his assistants had found Takamichi-san collapsed in the back of the Archives Office! Yasuaki-san and one of the assistants had to help take Takamichi-san home and they called for a healer." The General placed his hand on the top of Akane's head.
"I shall find out what seems to be the problem. You make sure you have fun and not worry alright?"
"Demo…" Akane pouted up at her eldest Hachiyou.
"Besides, I do believe a certain someone is looking for you."
"Eh?" Akane mumbled and turned her eyes to where Tomomasa's were focused. "Yorihisa-san…" The teenager commented, breath catching in her throat at the samurai's appearance. The older of the seiryuu duo was dressed formerly in black hakama, with deep blue kimono and haori over the top. Though his sword was still at his side, mostly hidden by the flowing material, his mesmerizing violet eyes were scanning the crowds looking for her. Akane had been ecstatic when the samurai had shyly asked if she would like to attend the festival with him. The very samurai, who'd vowed to protect her with his life was one of the most handsome men she'd ever laid eyes on and her cheeks turned a rosy pink as she looked over at him. It is then she finally took notice of his blue hair free from its usual high ponytail. She recalled having asked him after agreeing to attend the festival if he ever wore his hair down. The young Miko remembered his negative response as he softly voiced it was only ever down when he washed it. When his violet orbs met her pleading emerald gaze the usually strong samurai had sighed and informed her he would dress formally for the occasion and she was to as well. Akane was definitely surprised at Yorihisa living up to his spoken words as he'd forgone his usual attire just to satisfy her wishes. What seemed to truly take her breath away was the way her protectors silk blue tresses brushed freely over his shoulders and cascaded down his lean back, resting between his strong shoulder blades as several of the strands swayed in the cool gentle breeze.
"It appears Yorihisa-san has gotten the attention of several women attending the festivities this evening." Akane crossed her arms over her chest, an evident pout on her lips as she found an exceptional beauty trying to chat with the seemingly uncomfortable samurai. Tomomasa grinned at the jealousy raging within their little Miko and placed one hand on her shoulder, observing as her expressive orbs lifted to gaze into his knowing orbs. "He only has eyes for you Akane-dono."
"N-N-Nani?" The teen squeaked out as Tomomasa's softly voiced words caressed her ear. It appeared her infatuation with the samurai was all but old news to the General.
"Off you go." Tomomasa pushed her lightly towards the samurai now heading towards them. "I will report my findings to you and the others at Fuji-hime's estate tomorrow." Tomomasa turned to leave and stole one last glance over his shoulder just in time to catch Akane calling Yorihisa beautiful. The poor samurai had gone red in the face, with many onlookers watching the couple's antics. In one single fluid movement the blue haired seiryuu Hachiyou had clasped Akane's hand and began dragging her away from onlookers.
Continuing on his way Tomomasa made his way through the parting crowds, he nodding every now and then to passers-by he knew, many of them soldiers. His mind was reeling as to what could possibly be wrong with Takamichi. He'd seen the Vice Minister just the other day, when the dark green haired younger man, who'd been shuffling through some books had ended up asking him if he'd like to attend the festivities with him. Tomomasa had jokingly commented as to whether the younger Byakko Hachiyou was asking him on a date and the room had fallen eerily quiet. Teal had locked with gold and the General had been struck speechless at the light flush on the Vice Minister's cheeks. Before Tomomasa even made a response Takamichi had gained back his usual 'in control' character and informed him they could both use a break and the deal was sealed when the 19 year old spoke of paying for the General's dinner and beloved sake.
As Tomomasa cut through an alleyway, a shortcut towards Takamichi's home, the look on the younger of the Byakko duo would not leave his thoughts. It was one of pure shock and innocence, just like when they had first met.
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Tachibana no Tomomasa, the 24-year-old General of the Imperial Left Guard, one of the youngest General's to ever be appointed was casually strolling down the deserted streets of Kyou. He'd been returning home after a night out, but had felt an unfamiliar presence following him. Even though it was merely 10 feet away form him, the young General could not distinguish as to whether it was there to harm him. He could not read any dark aura around the mysterious being and instead continued on his way, moving through a darkened alleyway as he did.
Within a matter of seconds, as Tomomasa made his way through the alley, the figure quietly shuffling behind him…and not being quiet in doing so…it was beginning to try Tomomasa's patience. He was usually a gentle man, but when this person was not asking for his audience it was slowly wearing thin on Tomomasa's laid back character. The teal haired man jumped onto a stake of crates, swiftly deferring from his route home and using one of many acrobatical moves, the General was now positioned behind the assailant. With quick fluid movements the teal eyed 24 year old removed his sword and pointed it down at the seemingly short attacker.
"What is it you want from me?" Tomomasa listened to a small gasp escape the lips of his supposed attacker as the tip of his sword rested against his neck. Tomomasa's eyes narrowed at the height of his supposed attacker. Either the man was crouched in his position, not being able to read his sudden movements having been caught off guard or…
Moonlight broke through the passing clouds in the night sky and it is then teal orbs widened when the alleyway was doused in moonshine.
"You're a child." Tomomasa commented as he withdrew his sword, instantly sheathing it. Teal stared down into large golden orbs, surrounded by round wire rimmed glasses, far too big for such a small child. "Why are you following me?" Tomomasa interrogated, his keen eyes taking in the untidiness of the child.
"Chichiue…"
"Mm…?"
"Chichiue said…to follow you."
"If you wish to live, leave now boy." Golden orbs welled instantly at Tomomasa's words and teal watched as the child ran from him.
The General continued on his way, but those expressive eyes, filled with such shock and innocence would not escape him.
It appeared that this would not be the only time this evening that Tachibana no Tomomasa would 'run' into this unknown child.
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Tomomasa shook the very thoughts from his head as he headed towards the bridge to cross over to the other side of the river. Just over that very bridge and around a couple more bends was Takamichi's private home. His own home was over this very bridge and not too far from Takamichi's, however the General would not retire for the evening until he discovered why his dear friend had collapsed in the Archives.
Strolling over the said arched bridge, Tomomasa was not even half way over when he froze in his strides. Why was it this evening, so many past memories were flooding back to him?
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That same evening that Tomomasa told the young boy who'd been following him to leave his sight, he'd come upon the bridge he usually crossed over to go home, however his gaze found a truly disturbing sight indeed. A bunch of youngsters, between the ages of 13 and 14 were picking on a crouched form, the 4 boys circling the frightened individual lying helpless in a tight ball on the wooden planks.
Tomomasa had gotten into many fights when he was a child, but never in his life had he ever picked on those that were weaker then him. The very sight made his blood run cold and when a couple of the boys began kicking the weaker child, he pulled out his sheathed sword, smacking the bottom of the sheath into the wooden planks, the sound echoing across the bridge to capture the attention of the attackers.
"What do you think you are doing?" His voice boomed loudly, not caring if he awoke any slumbering families in their homes nearby. At the sight of the tall General and his weapon, the children all but ran for their lives, heading into the darkness of the night. Tomomasa let off a sigh as he headed for the bullied child, eyes growing wide as he found it to be the same one who'd been following him earlier on.
Tomomasa listened to the boy let off an unpleasant sound as he raised his body to sit up on the bridge, leaning against the railing. One hand lifted to brush blood from the side of his temple and lip.
"Do you go looking for trouble boy?" Golden orbs lifted to rest upon annoyed teal.
"Chichiue said…" The child began, eyes blinking as Tomomasa crouched in front of his battered body.
"To follow me, this I already know. What I'd like for you to explain to me is why you are following me."
"To become strong."
"Strong?"
"I've never asked much from Chichiue, but I wanted to know how to become strong. He said I was to follow a great man and learn from him. You are that man!"
"Me?" Tomomasa was slightly caught off guard at the way this child spoke. He looked no older then 12 yet he conversed way beyond his years.
"Chichiue said I'd know it instantly in my heart, the one who will help me become strong. I vowed not to return home until then…so I would never be a burden to him."
"And you think I will take you under my wing, become my student?"
"I will follow you until you do." One teal eyebrow rose at the determination rushing through such young eyes.
"I am quite a skilled swordsman. It would not take me long to lose you."
"I will find you."
"Ho, is that so?"
"No other has such a presence…or such a unique scent surrounding them." This time both teal eyebrows rose at those words.
"And if I'm called to battle, what then boy?"
"I will follow you." Small hands fisted at the proclamation.
"Foolish words, you'd be killed instantly."
"Your strong presence would never allow harm to come to an innocent bystander." Tomomasa's lips parted, to bite back at those words but nothing broke forth. Just how long had this kid been eyeing him? In the end the General laughed hard and rose to his tall height.
"You've got some guts boy. What's your name?"
"Fujiwara no Takamichi."
"Fujiwara…" Tomomasa repeated, knowing the name instantly. He was the son of that nobleman? Swiftly Tomomasa turned away from the child and began walking off. He was on the other side of the lake now and one quick glance over his shoulder was his biggest mistake of all. The young Takamichi was starring at his retreating figure, those golden orbs large and watery, tears mingling within their depths. The prestigious and ever strong General of the Imperial Left Guard was sunk.
"Are you coming or not?" Takamichi had followed Tomomasa to his home like a little hatchling.
One of Tomomasa's servants had looked oddly at the child following Tomomasa into the house and towards the bathhouse no less, but she would dare not voice her questions unless the very man spoke his thoughts on the matter.
Tomomasa had helped Takamichi bathe, sitting behind the scrawny boy as he offered to wash his back for him. His ever-observant eyes took in the countless black and blue bruises marring his milky coloured skin. It appeared Takamichi had been beaten regularly.
"Why do you not fight back?"
"Fighting is wrong."
"There is a difference between fighting and protecting yourself." Takamichi had turned to look back at the man sitting behind him, his eyes trailing over the strong and broad physique before him.
"Will you teach me?"
"If you're lucky."
"Arigatou!" Takamichi gave Tomomasa his very first closed eyed smile, surprising the General instantly. "Ah, itai…" The 12 year old muttered, hand rising to the wound at his temple.
"Finish bathing and I'll treat the wound for you."
Much later in the evening, Tomomasa was sitting at a low table in his private quarters, going over some reports when his eyes lifted at the knock on his closed shoji. It didn't take long before innocent golden orbs were looking over at him. Hesitantly Takamichi remained at the slightly ajar shoji.
"I…cannot sleep. My head hurts." Tomomasa had asked one of his servants to set up a futon in one of the spare rooms for the boy, but Takamichi had once again followed him and silently was asking for approval to enter the room.
"Come in and close the shoji." Tomomasa just knew he was becoming far too soft in front of his new hatchling. Takamichi slowly walked over, his malnourished body engulfed in one of Tomomasa's haori's.
"Can I ask what you are reading?" Takamichi had come to kneel beside Tomomasa, eyes peering up at the wavy teal haired General.
"You should be getting some sleep, not asking questions about things that do not concern you." He watched those eyes drop at his harshness. "We have a long day planned tomorrow after all."
"We do?"
"Mm, now rest." Tomomasa wasn't sure how he felt when Takamichi had curled into a ball at his side, his head resting on his right thigh. When the youngster was deep in slumber, Tomomasa moved him to his double futon, placing the blankets over his slender form. Looking down at the child, Tomomasa could not help but glance at the scar forming on Takamichi's left temple. The General bent down, lips grazing the broken and bruised skin lightly before rising to finish up his reports.
Tomorrow he had meetings in the Imperial Palace with several court officials as well as the Emperor himself. He would introduce Takamichi as his new pageboy.
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Moving up the stairs of Takamichi's home, Tomomasa knocked lightly on the shoji and removed his shoes from his feet. An elder woman holding a lantern who happened to be Takamichi's maid greeted him.
"Tomomasa-dono, please come in." She bowed lightly to the General, having known him for many years now.
"How is Takamichi fairing?"
"He's been in and out of sleep for quite sometime."
"I see…" They made it towards Takamichi's private quarters and Tomomasa slide the shoji across. The dying flame of a lantern on Takamichi's writing desk placed a soft glow throughout the room and on the curled Vice Minister in his futon.
"The healer has left him some medicine to take every four hours. He wasn't too sure as to what is wrong with Takamichi-dono, but he assures me it is not serious. Actually I do believe he is due for another dosage."
"Could you bring what needs to be administered to Takamichi and a spare futon? I shall remain here this evening."
"Of course, at once Tomomasa-dono." The elderly woman left him alone as he walked into Takamichi's quarters and sat at the 19 year olds side. It wasn't long before tea, the medicine powder and a spare futon and pillow cushion were received. The elderly woman bid Tomomasa a good night, knowing she could trust the General to remain at her employers side until his sickness broke.
Tomomasa lit a new lantern, the flame dancing brightly within the glass as he brought it towards the slumbering Takamichi. Sitting himself comfortably on the futon he would be resting within Tomomasa began to mix the powdery substance into a cup of tea for the young Vice Minister.
"Takamichi…?" The general quietly called out, listening to his younger Byakko partner mumble at his name being softly voiced, breaking him from slumber. Hazy golden orbs appeared from beneath heavy eyelids. "If you weren't sick I'd be chiding you for standing me up this evening."
"T-Tomomasa…?"
"Mm, what is it? Do you ache anywhere?" At the slight nod, the teal haired Hachiyou became slightly worried. "Where do you ache?" Teal eyes observed as the 19 year old lifted one weakened arm to rest it against his chest. "I have your medicine. You should take it."
"Iie…" Tomomasa tilted his head at the negative response.
"It will make you feel better Takamichi."
"It tastes…horrible." The older of the Byakko duo grinned down at his dear friend. The usual stoic and in control Takamichi was overridden by sickness, eyes frowning, a pout marring his lips as he continued to stare up at the General. Tomomasa chuckled lightly at the scene unfolding before his eyes.
"This is much like when you got sick when you were 16." When Tomomasa glided his fingers down the side of Takamichi's face, he watched the young man hiss lightly when he brushed against his left temple area. "Are you hurting here?" The General didn't bother to await a response and once more, like so long ago he brushed his lips against the scar. Perhaps when Takamichi had fainted in the Archives he'd hit his head on the way down.
"Tomo…masa…"
"Come on, drink your medicine." At the stubborn shaking of Takamichi's head, the teal haired older Hachiyou sighed in slight exasperation. "I will have to resort to other measures." Moving towards the weakly escaping Takamichi, Tomomasa picked up the surprised Vice Minister, cradling him within one arm while his other swiftly picked up the tea cup, swallowing ¼ of the contents before sealing his lips over the parted ones belonging to Takamichi. The bitterness flowed into Takamichi, making the surprised 19-year-old choke at such a 'measure' used upon him. By the time Tomomasa was pouring the last of the tea into his mouth, Takamichi had all but relented to his gesture and seemed to be waiting for it to happen. When Tomomasa fussed his lips over Takamichi's, he felt a slender hand grip the material of his kimono and robes, as though wishing to hold him there.
The General pulled away when the liquid left his mouth, eyes peering down at the slightly huffing Takamichi. When golden orbs rose, teal widened. A mass amount of emotions flowed thickly within those very eyes, just as a pink hue graced the Vice Ministers cheeks. Tomomasa was literally speechless when several tears rolled down his younger partners cheeks.
"Gomen nasai… I'm not strong enough."
"You are strong Takamichi. Your father would be proud." At the shaking head, Tomomasa lowered his ear to catch what Takamichi was choking out.
"I'm not strong enough…to resist you."
"Wh-What did you say?" Unfortunately for Tomomasa, his Byakko partner was already consumed once again by sleep, he unable to obtain an answer from the young man he held in his arms. Carefully Tomomasa placed his grown hatchling back into his futon, covering him with blankets. Gently his fingers glided over those soft pink cheeks to wipe away the tears before shifting back to his futon for the evening.
Placing his back against the wall, Tomomasa's mind reeled over what Takamichi had confessed to him. He wasn't sure whether the Vice Minister would remember what he said that night…and he too wasn't sure how to answer it either. All the General really knew was that their relationship wasn't exactly a normal one of comrades. Just calling Takamichi a 'friend' didn't seem to carry the true sense of what Tomomasa felt for him. He was his Hachiyou partner for one, but he'd also known the young man since he were 12 years old, having taken care of him for many years. Not only that he was his companion, comrade in arms and the very person, even if he were a man, he wanted to remain at his side for all of time.
These very confusing thoughts would plague Tomomasa for the rest of the evening.
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The next day Tomomasa stirred when he felt a blanket being shifted about his shoulders. Slowing he rose his eyelids, dark teal eyes focusing on the kneeling Takamichi at his side. The 19 year old was wearing a plain yukata with a black haori – his haori from years past – over his shoulders. His long dark green hair was unbound and cascading over the dark material. His glasses were not perched on his nose, but Tomomasa was certain the Vice Minister could see clearly this close up.
"I'm sorry I woke you Tomomasa."
"Iie, how are you feeling?"
"A lot better actually. Do I have you to thank for that?"
"I merely watched over you. The healer is who you should thank." The words were careless and Tomomasa had caught the flicker of sadness that swept through Takamichi's golden orbs.
"Yes, I will do that later today."
"Akane-dono informed me that you fainted in the Archives Office, why?"
"Ah, I've had a lot on my mind and because of that I have not been eating properly."
"There are several people you need to apologise to for your careless behaviour Takamichi. And you can start with me."
"Not if you are going to behave like some child I won't." Takamichi had turned his head away from Tomomasa, but a gasp left his lips when there was a sudden jerk at his chin, it having been caught and roughly turned back to Tomomasa, teal orbs angrily glaring at him. The look disappeared instantly at the surprise written all over Takamichi and Tomomasa dropped his hand away.
"I'm sorry. Its just…I haven't slept well…and its your fault."
"Me? What on earth did I do?"
"It's more or less, what you said." The General watched as Takamichi tilted his head in slight confusion.
"What I said?" The 19 year old mumbled, trying to recall his fuzzy memories of last night. At the sudden gasp teal waited for recognition to be acknowledged.
"I forgot to attend the festivities with you! Gomen nasai Tomomasa!" The General had to quench the urge to roll his eyes and instead let out a huge disappointed sigh. His head lulled forward, wavy teal locks of hair blocking his face from view.
"Tomomasa…?"
"Iie, its nothing." The 31 year old commented, but had no time to compose himself when he felt arms move around his shoulders. Instantly Tomomasa stiffened as his head was directed to rest on Takamichi's shoulder.
"Clearly it is something. Tell me what I've done to make you this way. Let me help fix the problem." Tomomasa had never truly been someone who would lean on any other, but ever since Takamichi had come into his life that had slowly begun to change. When slender fingers on Takamichi's right hand brushed through his thick locks of hair, the other rubbing against his back, Tomomasa couldn't help but slump heavily into his younger Byakko partner.
"I'm not sure if it's truly a problem that needs to be fixed." Tomomasa had shifted his head, his warm breath fanning against the side of Takamichi's neck, turning the milky skin a soft pink.
"Then at least repeat what I have said that still troubles you, so I can try to explain myself." The youngest of the Byakko pair was surprised when Tomomasa had wound his arms loosely around his thinner frame, pulling him a little closer towards the warmth of the General.
"This is so you won't run away." Takamichi wasn't sure what that meant, however, being in the powerful arms of the man who allowed him to remain at his side definitely meant he was not going to run anywhere.
"I'm not strong enough…to resist you."
"Na-Nani…?"
"That is what you said to me." A thick silence broke out between the two men. "What do you mean by that?"
"I thought you were a smart man." Takamichi softly commented back, shifting in his seated position so he was no longer sitting on his shins.
"Don't change the subject. You said you would explain yourself to me." After a long pause Takamichi took in a deep breath.
"I love you." Tomomasa tried to pull away, but a hidden strength within Takamichi held him in place. "Please don't move, not just yet. I'm not ready to see your answer."
"It was something so simple as that?"
"Love is never simple." When Tomomasa didn't respond Takamichi softly continued on. "I have only ever loved one person in my life…and that is Hahaue."
"So, its family love you feel."
"Iie… I've never once felt like you were a brother to me." Finally Takamichi allowed Tomomasa to pull away. What he found on the General's face was a very displeasing look. "I'm not saying you failed in the way you tried to treat me as a younger brother, but rather I never saw you in that role. I'd placed you on such a pedestal that there was no room to look upon you as my brother. You were the man who would teach me all about becoming strong, about becoming a worthy man in order to serve the people of Kyou. I admired you for many years, but as I grew older, my heart began to change and I looked upon you not as my teacher, but as my most important person."
"So that's what was aching last night."
"Eh?"
"You were trying to tell me your heart ached, but I thought it was your chest so I fed you the medicine in order to ease it."
"Fed me?" At the indication at the only way a liquid could be fed Takamichi ducked his head, wishing that the blush would hurry up and recede on his facial features. "I'm sorry you had to do such a thing."
"I'm not." Golden orbs darted to teal ones. "You are livelier then you've been and that I am thankful for."
"I…I see…" When golden orbs dropped from starring into his own, Tomomasa felt his heart lurch at the way the Vice Minister was hunched over, hands clasping the material of his old black haori. "You don't have to answer my confession. I will never place such pressure upon you." Just starring at the young man, it sometimes seemed like he were the little lost boy from so long ago. It tugged instantly at Tomomasa's heartstrings.
"I am not strong either."
"You are!" Gold eyes widened incredulously when lips had fallen against his. The General pulled lightly away to observe the response from his hatchling. "T-T-Tomomasa…" Cheeks were painted a soft pink; lips were moist from the contact and eyes watery once more from countless emotions.
"I too…am not strong enough to resist you. Never have been." Tomomasa felt his heart lurch inside his throat when a very rare closed eyed smile broke across Takamichi's face. Tears had streamed down the 19 year olds cheeks, but he gave the General no chance to brush them away as his hands had lifted up, pulling on the kimono and robes belonging to Tomomasa as he thumped his head against the broad chest, mumbling his heartfelt thanks there. Tomomasa felt his arms twitch slightly. He wanted to hug Takamichi, but for once in his life had no idea if that was what he should do. "Listen Takamichi, you're going to have to help me out here."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I've never been in love with another man before, so I'm unsure of what to truly do."
"And you think I know?" Angered gold met teal, but softened instantly when Takamichi sifted through Tomomasa's earlier words. "Wait, you…love me too?" Being able to witness a slightly uncomfortable General was a pleasant sight to behold.
"If you ever mention this to a soul I'll…" Tomomasa faulted when Takamichi cupped his face within his hands. The angelic serene look upon that pretty face made him nervous…and the General was never nervous.
"Lets work it out together ne?"
"Mm…" The young Vice Minister was about to pull the strong and hard headed General into a hug, when the 31 year old decided to make a decision all on his own, a very wicked grin forming upon his hypnotizing lips. "I'll be on top."
"T-Tomomasa!" Takamichi had gasped out in shock just as he was pulled into the waiting arms of Tachibana no Tomomasa.
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The End.