AN: Got a prompt on tumblr and and it gave me the chance to write something at the Winter Palace. Somewhat inspired by this post on tumblr ageofthedragon. tumblr post/106382013707/anonymous-said-leliana-watching-the-inquisitor

Prompt: Hi! You like Dragon Age right? How about some f!Amell/Leliana reunion?

Memories are both an amazing and terrible thing.

Leliana didn't remember where she'd heard the words, but the statement had never been truer than in that moment. Even after Marjorlaine's betrayal and her torture, after escaping and hiding in the chantry in Lothering for years, after the awful things she witnessed during the Blight. She could always live in the moment, think about the future, leave the darkness behind during the day.

But now?

It just wasn't possible. Not when it came to these memories, not when it came to memories of HER. The kind of memories that haunted her, every day. When she would look at a rose and remember that one guided her to her love, or look at the stars and remember a time at camp when she was desperate to find out more about her, find out if she had a chance, and would tell her of Alindra and her soldier, her heart pounding with delight at discovering she, of all people, was a romantic.

Everywhere she looked, her love would be there if only in memories.

Leliana understood the need to be apart, she had a duty to the Inquisition, her love was trying to find a way to extend their time together…but Leliana missed her so much.

Sometimes, when the pain of their separation brought the redhead to tears she'd let herself wonder. Wonder what her warden was doing, if she was alright if she thought of Leliana as much as the former bard thought about her. She wondered if maybe, by trying to find a cure for the calling, they were just wasting the time they had left.

Time in which they could be together…

While being apart had been hard from the beginning, frequent letters from her love helped soothe her heart, and her duties as Left Hand had kept her busy. Until her love traveled too far west and they could no longer maintain constant communication. Not knowing where her heart, her sunlight was… if she was alright… it tormented Leliana with horrible scenarios where her warden was lying in some cave hurt or dying and too far for Leliana to reach her in time.

What if they never saw each other again?

Leliana had faith in her beloved, but as powerful a mage as her love was, she was only human…and she was alone. Alone and probably fighting maker knew what?

And now Justinia was dead.

The two most important people in her life were gone from her side and Leliana's faith was wavering. She wanted nothing more than to be in the loving comforting arms of her warden.

Those thoughts plagued her, especially as she watched the Inquisitor and Josie make eyes at each other for months. They reminded the spymaster of her time with her Warden and sometimes it was as if memories would play out before her eyes, pulling her away from reality. She worried sometimes that insanity was taking over her mind.

It was not ideal for a spymaster to be so lost in memories that she saw things that were not there... or didn't see things that were. And both in dreams and in reality, her mind and heart were far west.

Right now as she looked down from her place in the balcony, watching Evelyn and Josie dance, she could see the memories again… almost completely replacing the sight before her eyes.

…the nights they would dance at camp after her lovely, precious mage had shyly confessed she didn't know how to and Leliana decided it was her duty to teach her. Her warden had been a fast learner and one night during their watch together, she had surprised Leliana by kissing her hand and asking for a dance .

"Dance with me, my lady?"

The redhead shut her eyes tightly, she could almost feel her love's soft hands in her own, their feet moving to a rhythm only they could hear.

But those days were over, at least for now. Who knew when she would return? Or if she even would… if they'd both died and never saw each other again. It almost made Leliana want to leave, forget about her duty to the Inquisition, to Justinia and just go west, go west and not stop until she found her lover again.

Maybe she could save her. Maybe her warm embrace could ground her, her kisses could offer salvation, keep Leliana sane, keep her from losing herself completely…because with out her love, Leliana was lost.

And yet…

How could she? If the inquisition failed then there wouldn't be a world where she and her love could be reunited. If Solona were in her place, she would stay and save the world, how could Leliana not do the same?

No.

Leliana would stay, she would help save the world and then she would join her love. She would join Solona and never part from her again. They had given up so much for duty to the Maker, to the world... they deserved to be selfish for once. To think about their own happiness, that's why Solona had gone in search of the cure in the first place...

Opening her eyes, the spy master looked up into the sky and wished with all her heart. "My love, please come back to me."

"Okay…" A familiar voice said behind her.

The bard gasped and turned around in an instant. Her hand went to her mouth trying to contain the sob that wracked through her body at the sight of a tall woman clad in a formal Grey Warden suit.

"Dance with me, my lady?" Solona asked with a soft smile.