Cat's Everything
Jade was Cat's everything.
She was the sun; she was the moon. She was the light; she was the dark. She was the heat; she was the cold. She was the ice; she was the fire.
Cat's life revolved around her much like the Earth spins round and round the sun.
Except that, her life actually wasn't centered on Jade.
Not anymore.
Not to be misunderstood, because at one point Jade was the pinnacle of Cat's very existence. Yes, it was true. Cat lived and breathed for Jade. Often times, to express this, she loved to hold Jade's hands for as long as the dark haired girl would let her. She also loved to hug Jade, though they were always brief because Jade wasn't a contact person. She loved to gaze up into Jade's pretty blue eyes, until Jade noticed and turned away abruptly. But, most of all, she loved Jade.
Not many people could say they had a loyal follower like Cat who would do anything for them.
And it's true; Cat did anything and everything for Jade. She did Jade's hair when she went to Prome with Beck (if that was even considered actually going to Prome since all she did was try to mess with Tori). She helped Jade with her drawing for Art class since Jade was rather a terrible artist and, meanwhile, Cat was, shockingly, a genius in that respect. She would compliment Jade on how pretty she looked whenever the raven haired girl tried on a new look. But, perhaps most importantly, she always drove Jade home when the gothic girl was drunk.
Which was very, very often.
A lot more often than Jade would have liked to admit.
Jade was a party-goer. Not a lot of people would have pegged her as the type to go to a social gathering to have fun, but as long as there was some drinks involved (and not the light kinds), she would go. And there were lots of parties that had alcohol. Lots and lots and lots. Which was maybe the reason why Jade called Cat almost every night to come pick her up from seemingly random locations. Cat didn't know how Jade knew so many people all over California, or when she met them, but apparently Jade had many more connections than Cat had ever dreamed of, so she was always driving all over the state to get Jade from wherever she was (since she never went to the kinds of parties Jade went to because she had stronger morals than that).
All that gas to tug Jade around cost a lot of money. In fact, it added up to thousands of dollars. It cost so much, that Cat had to start working to pay for at least some of the gas, because her parents refused to pay full, especially since they, even though Cat had never told them, knew where Cat went all the time. To pick up Jade.
But Cat didn't care. She was happy and obliged to, like a good friend should be. Although, she wished she was more than just a "good friend" to Jade and she constantly wondered if Jade ever once thought that Cat meant more than just another buddy. Pal. Mate. Because, while there was a lot of push-pull within Jade's relationships to people, with Cat it was never that. They were usually alright, no stretching or twisting or anything of the sort.
After all, it had to mean something that Jade always called her to pick the intoxicated girl up from her parties of which were numerous. And, not only that, but, and this is something Cat dare not ever bring up with her friend, Jade would always drunk call her after Cat dropped her off at her house (since Cat's parents never would have allowed for a tipsy Jade to reside in their home).
Cat would answer every single time.
Jade would say things she would never say if she was herself. If she was not under influence. She was emotional and changed moods quickly from anger, to sorrow, to giddiness, to jealousy, and all the emotions in between. Mostly, she would rant or cry about Beck. How she didn't need him when she was angry, but when she was sad she would cry over how perfect he had been to her. How perfect he had been in general. And Cat didn't mind talking about this at first. She liked to hear Jade's voice, even if it was a little pitchy from the beer.
But one thing Cat did mind was the particularly inappropriate conversations they would have. They disturbed more than anything she had really ever encountered in her sheltered, innocent life. They consisted of Jade sobbing over how guys...touched her and how she was to much in a drunken state to stop them. How she was constantly...fucking everyone and she didn't even know their names. Hell, she didn't even know their genders.
And Cat wanted nothing more than to fly out her door and soar all the way to Jade's and take the slightly taller girl into a big embrace and tell her it was going to be okay. Everything would be alright and that no guy (or girl) would ever do that to her again.
Except that would be a lie. A big, fat one and Cat was told, until it was drilled into her brain, never to lie. Ever. No exceptions. Not even little white lies.
And that would be far from a small white lie. In fact, it would be the complete opposite. So she didn't dare tell Jade that everything would be alright from here on out, because it wouldn't be. Jade was addicted. She was hooked on drinking and maybe even some other things that she did that she never told Cat about, but in truth she didn't have to because Cat could distinguish the smell of alcohol from the stench of smoke and other...items.
Some people around school speculated that Jade was abusive because she drunk. Others thought that Jade had a grim outlook on life instead. Still others thought that the reason Jade drunk was because of her abrasiveness and awful take on life. Cat didn't know the truth, so while it hurt when she heard people talking about Jade that way, she couldn't deny it since even she didn't know the reason why Jade drunk.
No, the only thing Cat knew was that she always had to give rides home to Jade. All the time. It was a never ending cycle and as Jade grew older, the parties grew later, and Cat would go to bed later and later and later, until sometimes she didn't even go to bed at all, staying up for a drunk Jade's call or having just that long of a car ride back. It soon began to take its toll on the perky redhead and her grades and academics dropped.
But that might also have been due to the fact that she was doing Jade's homework instead of her own.
Jade was always claiming that she was to "hungover" to do homework, or sometimes it was the excuse that she had to "get ready for those parties" and other times there was no excuse. It was just, "I'm to tired." So Cat would do it just so that Jade wouldn't fail her classes and could go on to college, even if it was at the expense of Cat's own future. Because Cat loved Jade and she would always choose Jade over herself.
Except that, there came a time when she...didn't.
Maybe it was the constant calls, or maybe it was the fact that Jade never even uttered a thank you for all of Cat's hard work, but instead just a drunken garble of random words strung together, or maybe it was the lack of sleep getting to her, but Cat just snapped.
It was sort of a sudden realization, but one day when Jade drunk dialed Cat once again to talk about things Cat would never be allowed to mention ever again, it just hit her. She was sick of living Jade's life for her. She was sick of sacrificing her life for Jade's. She was sick because of Jade. And not just mentally sick, but physically sick as well from the lack of sleep, the stress, and the fumes she was always breathing in that always came off of Jade in waves.
So she hung up.
She started ignoring Jade's calls and pretending like she didn't know where Jade was going to party. She started lying that her car was stolen and that her parents were taking her out to dinner so she couldn't pick Jade up. And then she started to not talk to Jade at all, the sight of the once brunette angering her. And maybe she wasn't capable of the height of rage Jade was, but she was still angry as hell. Perhaps it was because she finally realized that there had never been a push-push or a pull-pull, but instead that was just imagined. It was fake. It had always been a push-pull relationship between her and Jade.
She was so stupid not to have come to this conclusion sooner, or so she told herself.
So she cut Jade off, not bothering to feel anything anymore for the goth girl. She refused to let herself feel pity or pain for her once friend.
Except that she did hurt inside because it wasn't like Jade tried to stop their separation. More like she just sat back and watched. It was the thing that stung Cat the most. It was like Cat had been thrown away and everything "between" Jade and her were just hallucinations. Just imaginary. Pretend. Not real.
No...That's what hurt the most. That Cat had just dreamed the whole ordeal up without even noticing that Jade didn't want her. Didn't need her. Didn't even care for her. She probably had other rides now from her new friends. From her, dare Cat utter this, fuck buddies.
Jade had just been using her.
So, Cat decided, she just had to distance herself from the girl she was once head over heels in love with. And it was working. Until Jade called one night, just like the old times Cat so much hated. It was very late at night, but Cat had been up since it was a weekend.
"Hey," Cat spoke quietly, not entirely sure why she had picked up the phone. Maybe she was expecting Jade would apologize. Maybe she was expecting Jade to want to talk about what had happened between them. Maybe, just perhaps, she was wishing for Jade to be hurting inside.
"Hey," Jade responded and then there were a few moments of silence where Cat didn't talk. She didn't know what to say anymore to the girl that had just tossed her away like she was nothing. Like she wasn't worth the dirt Jade walked on. So eventually, Jade filled the silence, her words blurted out without shame.
"Cat, I love you."
There was a long pause.
"Are you drunk Jade?"
Another silence.
"No."
And Cat wanted to believe that, just for a second, it sounded like Jade was sober and that she was telling the truth, but perhaps it was just a trick of the ear, because how could Jade be telling the truth when they hadn't spoken in months? How could Jade be telling the truth when maybe all she was trying to do was to manipulate Cat into going back to the old ways? After all, Cat had secretly watched the exchange between Jade and Tori where Jade mentioned all the things Tori wanted to hear until she finally got to the point and requested for a ride back home from another party from Tori. She tried to use Tori to.
Unfortunately for Jade, Tori was busy that night and couldn't.
So it was obvious that Jade was lying when she said she was in love with Cat, so Cat hung up, not waiting for Jade to say anything. How could Cat trust anything she said after all that had happened? So it was safest not to.
Over the next few days, Cat watched as Jade slowly transformed from put-together Jade (her facade at school) to her real self. Unruly, messy, drunk Jade. At first it wasn't bad. Maybe a mismatched outfit here and there, frizzy hair every now and again, but eventually it started to progress. She started wearing these dirty clothes, her eyes formed bags underneath them, and she had sunglasses on because she was severely hung over from the night before, until it finally created the current look of Jade West. Which was like she hadn't showered in days (and maybe she hadn't), drunk or high (even during the school day), and sick. Physically sick, and maybe, perhaps, mentally as well.
It disgusted Cat.
It didn't rouse any pity in the small girl. Just plain distaste. Jade couldn't even be bothered to pull herself together for the public. Cat never would allow herself to go out to public places looking like a slob.
So Cat stayed far away from Jade, afraid that if she did indeed ever go back to Jade (not that there was ever any doubt in her mind that she shouldn't), Jade would just continue to hurt her. Luckily for Cat, graduation soon neared and quite quickly the seniors were all scattering to go off to their chosen colleges. All except for one Jade West who would be staying in town. A deadbeat. A drunk and just another worthless teenager of society. And good riddance to that.
Cat went to her dream college and stayed for about five years, living out her life as usual. Having fun, drinking (in moderation), and making friends as well as getting the occasional boyfriend (but things never ended up being serious). She was living in Heaven, cherishing each moment away from her awful, horrendous high school years, until finally, she completed college and got her degree in Music and Art.
It was perfect. Her whole future was set before her and she couldn't wait to start on the highway of life, but first she had something to do. Tori Vega had called her the other day and told her that she was having a get together of the old gang at her old house (because she now had a new, quite fancy house considering that she was now, in fact, famous). When Cat questioned as to why the get together was being held back at their hometown, Tori gave a long winded answer about how it stirred up such old, good memories. Cat then told Tori to give her the real reason, and Tori explained how it was a lot easier for everyone to come back to their hometown instead of out of the way to Tori's new house. The answer satisfied Cat and in two days she was flying back to her childhood house.
It was a nice reunion with her family, even though they had kept in touch and constantly visited each other and she had just seen them only a week ago. She spent a night in her old bed and in the morning she played a few rounds of cards with her family until her brother decided he wanted to be a dog and jumped up on the dining room table and ate all of everyone's breakfast, sending bits and pieces of food flying. Of course, everyone shared some good laughs until Cat's stomach growled and she decided she should be heading off to Tori's.
It was a quick drive, but it felt longer to the still ever hyperactive Cat since she couldn't keep her thoughts off of Jade. She knew that she should be happy to see her old friends who she had barely kept in touch with (Jade not at all), but the burden of seeing the goth girl(or was she goth anymore?) floated over her head, threatening to drown her.
She, most obviously, was not thrilled to be seeing a certain black haired girl. But, she sighed, assuming it would be alright and that she would just ignore Jade as she had done for years on end.
Cat finally reached the Vega residence and parked her mother's car on the side of the road before jogging up to the door, painting on a smile that wasn't entirely fake, and ringing the doorbell. Tori threw the door wide open and gave Cat a big hug and a big greeting before demanding to know why Cat was late. Cat confessed that she had maybe perhaps stopped to get something to eat.
Tori apparently accepted the answer and lead Cat in the door, announcing that the "silly Valentine" had arrived. She was flooded with hugs and hello's. And since she loved anything that involved contact, it put her in a good mood. Such a good mood, in fact, that she didn't even realize that Jade was missing until she rang the doorbell and Tori let her in.
Jade nodded her hello and stepped inside, her hair once again brown, missing the streaks of color, and her makeup...well there wasn't much makeup at all. It was simple mascara and eyeliner. Her clothing style hadn't changed. It was still as black as ever. She was skinny to. Really, really skinny. Skinnier than Tori. She also looked worn. But that wasn't what captured Cat's attention. What captured Cat's attention most was the toddler hiding behind Jade. He looked to be about five or six.
"I had to bring Cade. My mom was out and couldn't take him," Jade shrugged. It seemed like everyone else knew about Cade except for Cat because they all shrugged it off and went over and hugged her and clapped her on the back. Cat rolled it off and soon she was feeling back to normal and the party continued as normal. That is, until Jade approached her.
"Hey," Jade greeted sheepishly.
"Hi," Cat nodded back, not entirely excited for this interaction.
"So...We haven't talked in awhile," she started to say, which was so very un-Jade-like that Cat nearly shuddered and cut Jade off with an off topic kind of question.
"Is Cade yours?"
"Yeah..." Jade responded quietly, casting a glance over at the little kid playing with the Vega dog.
"How old is he?"
"He's turning six," Jade replied, the topic of the conversation clearly making her uncomfortable.
"How did h-"
"At one of the parties I went to. It was some dude. I never found out exactly who, but if I had I'd kill him."
"Oh..." Cat said, not sure of what else she could possibly say. Was she supposed to feel bad? Because all she felt was anger that Jade was over here talking to her. But still...she was interested in what Jade had to say oddly enough. "Are you still...drinking?"
There was a pause and Cat leaned forward towards Jade, just to be sure she didn't miss Jade's answer.
"No."
It was lie. As Jade spoke Cat could smell the stench of alcohol on her breath. Cat sat back a moment to really evaluate Jade. Jade looked worn out. Her hair was stringier than Cat recalled and she had a slight slouch. She looked sullen, and her clothes were faded. Even...tattered like she couldn't afford new ones. But worst of all, the life had just gone from her eyes. It was like looking at a dead pair of eyes. Stone perhaps. There was nothing there.
"You know Cat," Jade's voice cracked, "I missed you," she whispered, and Cat suddenly felt a rush of pity. A rush of pain that made up for all the years she never felt anything and just locked Jade away in the deepest recesses of her brain. But yet...Cat still didn't feel love for the girl or anything resembling friendship. So she brushed Jade off and later as she was driving away, she thought of Jade's dead eyes and how Jade's life must be like.
Jade was still a drunk. She was a wreck. She was a hot mess and a deadbeat. One that couldn't even afford clothes. She had been a pregnant teenager with major problems.
Because after she had destroyed Cat, she destroyed herself.
Because Cat...Well...she was Jade's everything.
Author's Note: Because such is life. Hope you enjoyed :)