Being committed was supposed to change everything; it was supposed to heal, it was supposed to get her mind straight, but it didn't do that. Lauren stayed in the same mind frame that she was in before, but she never let anyone catch onto it. If she did, they'd hold for much longer than she wanted. As Lauren quickly changed back into her regular clothes, she sighed when she ran a hand through her hair. No longer would she be trapped inside a confined room of hell, no longer would she be watched like a hawk, and no longer would she be forced to talk about her feelings with a stranger that gave no fucks at all. She was going home to do as she pleased.
Lauren walked over to the door and crossed her arms, watching as an orderly unlocked it from the outside. Solitary confinement. Walking out of the small, dull room, she was instantly greeted by a pair of arms wrapping around her. They were happy to embrace her, but she couldn't say the same. Happiness wasn't something she felt anymore; it was sorrow, pain, and guilt. Once she was set free from the grip, she faked the best smile she could; it must have looked believable because nobody said a thing. "Let's go home, babe." Jax said, wrapping his arms around his wife's shoulders. Behind them, Chibs was carrying a very playful Abel. It was odd, but even her own son couldn't make her happy. Depression had fully taken over.
The four of them walked out to the car, getting into it. Lauren sat in the passenger seat, her head on the window as she watched her surroundings whip passed them as they drove. She tried her best to stay in tune to the conversation, but she wasn't interested. They kept talking about some welcoming home party later that night; she wasn't interested. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and forget that the world existed. Although, something told her that she wouldn't be able to do that. As they pulled into the driveway, she stepped out of the car, ignoring Chibs' helping hand. She was sure that she could get out of a car by herself; she had done it numerous times before.
Lauren walked up to the door and sighed, waiting for the other three. Jax quickly unlocked the door, pushing it open so his wife could step inside. Once the three of them were in and the door was shut, phones began ringing; it was never good when that many phones went off. "Shit, it's the club." Chibs said, his accent filling the room. "Lauren, watch Abel, we'll be back. It won't take that long." Jax said, nodding his head. Before she could protest, Jax and Chibs ran out the door; they were gone. A sigh escaped her lips as she looked down at her son, he was lying in his playpen.
Running a hand through her hair, she bit down on her lip. Was she even okay to be alone with her own son? She wasn't stable, she wasn't in the right mindset to take care of herself; how was she supposed to take care of a child? Lauren shook her head as she looked back down at her son, raising her brow as she did. He was asleep. Well, that was fast. Walking into the kitchen, she frowned as she leaned against the counter. She was left alone in silence, the thing that killed her the most. As she looked up at the window, she sighed when she saw her reflection – she was still that same damaged person from before; nothing that changed.
Staring at herself for a few moments, she winced when the voices began to take over her mind. She couldn't say anything, in fear of waking her son; she had to stay completely silent. Without a moment to waste, she rummaged through the cabinets, grabbing every bottle of medicine she could get her hands on. Abel was asleep, no harm could be done. Lauren poured out a few various pills from the numerous bottles and set them in her hand; she knew what she was doing. Walking over to the fridge, she grabbed the bottle of whiskey off the side shelf, before she quietly shut it. Lauren glanced into the living room once more, before she sat on the floor; in the exact same spot she was the first time. Pouring the pills into her mouth, then gulping down the whiskey, she laid down on the floor. She made a lethal cocktail of pills and liquor. There was no waking up. This time around, she succeeded.