The Sad Life of Teddy
Part 1There was once a pony named Teddy. He was blue with an orange Mohawk. There was a book he wanted that belonged to Sweetheart.
He chased Sweetheart all around town, saying that he wanted it. "No! I bought it with my own money!" Sweetheart cried.
Teddy went home and cried sadly. He worried about how Sweetheart didn't love him, how his dad was abusive, and how his mom was dead.
He decided to confess his love to Sweetheart at her house. But when he ran there, Sweetheart's Dad yelled, "No! Go away!" S.H.'s dad chased Teddy all around town until dinnertime. Teddy's favorite girl's dad hated him, so he cried.
The next day, Teddy called his second favorite girl and asked her on a date. "Of course!" Bon Bon exclaimed, happy and excited. When Teddy ran to her house, he kissed her merrily on the mouth right in the front yard.
She broke off and exclaimed, "Ew, Teddy, I don't like you like that!" She ran away and cried.
Teddy ran home in tears. This is because he realized that he had to ask his third favorite girl: Starlight! When he called her, she said no, but he ran up there anyway. She screamed that she hated him and ran away.
Teddy asked his fourth favorite girl, Clover, out, but she was out of town, so he was sad. He had to resort to his fifth favorite girl, and one that he really didn't like.
He called Patch, but she was at soccer practice and couldn't be interrupted. But he rushed up there anyway, and Patch said that he stunk more than Ace and he cried.
He called his second least favorite girl, Bright Eyes. She said that he couldn't come up to her at the library because she had a mallet ready to hit him if he did. He was sad for a little bit, but then realized that any girl was worth being hit with a mallet for. She hit him and he cried.
He ran up to Worst Girl's (read: Melody's) house, but she hit him with B.E's mallet and said terrible things to him. He figured that, if he was rejected by all of the girls in town, he could just watch cartoons with the guys.
He ran up to Ace and Lancer's house, but they said that they hated him for stealing their girlfriends and left. Teddy cried and cried because he hated his life, and his dad did too, so he sent him to camp.
Part 2Teddy was on the bus to camp all alone the next day. All of his friends and girls hated him, and he didn't like it.
He was so desperate that he sat next to Dandy and Cookie, the worst ponies ever other than his Dad and his former friends. "Hi-five, Teddy!" Dandy said jerkishly. Teddy was so mad he pushed Cookie's lunch in Dandy's face and ran away.
He looked out the window and saw the most beautiful pony he'd ever seen. She was white with pink hair. He jumped out of the bus window to be with her, and realized that she was Sweetheart! She pressed her lips against her one true love, and Teddy didn't know about the angry 6 ponies in the bushes behind him.
Teddy dropped his jangle later on, but Ace's hoof came down on it before he could pick it up! "That's my jangle!" he exclaimed.
Ace beat Teddy up, and he was sad. He was sad because he was hurt, Sweetheart hated him again, and Ace had stolen his jangle.
Part 3Teddy was very desperate for friends, so he went with the little kids. He met a pony who was yellow and pink named Rosy. Though they had lots of fun together, Rosy turned out to be a princess, and too high-society for Teddy.
He was about to cry, but he met a pony with a hat who he wanted to play with.
However, he turned out to be Bon Bon's brother in disguise, and he had heard about what happened with B.B. Hat Pony didn't like him as a result.
Teddy sadly went to his room, but he was with the worst pony ever: Corndude! He wanted to get another room, but the only one open was Sweetheart's, and that one was a girl's one.
"Hi, Teddy, it's nice to see you again!"
"I HATE YOU!" Teddy shouted. But he felt bad, and was nice enough to apologize. Corndude was fine, but then he said this:
"Remember the pig?"
The pig Teddy hated as much as Corndude came in. Teddy was so mad at Corndude that he called him Corey and killed him.
Authorities didn't hear Teddy's pleas and put him in an awful jail cell.
Part 4Because the cops saw what a great pony Teddy was, and how sad he seemed they let him go, and he met a new pony: one who was purple with a pink mane.
It was Clover! Teddy and Clover became great friends because Clover was kind, and they both hated their lives. They fell in love, and ran away together with plans to have kids one day.
However, the mean authorities came and blamed Teddy of kidnapping Clover. While Clover got off scot-free, Teddy was put in jail again.
Part 5 – ChristmasTeddy was released around the holiday time, but he was sadder than ever. He was hated by everyone, alone, and had been kicked out of his home.
Out of pure desperation, he resurrected Corndude from the dead. It turned out that his name was actually Corny, which made Teddy mad because that was the only thing Teddy remotely liked about him. Worst Pony was sent away.
But then Teddy met another girl: a really nice one named Flower Daisy. She was so pretty, and didn't hate Teddy when they went on dates. They played together, hugged, and spoke about how awful Teddy's life was.
One day, though, Teddy found out that Flower Daisy was a boy! Teddy was sent to jail for being the gayest pony in all of Ponyland. In jail, he worried about how he wasn't having a Christmas, and how his life was so awful.
And then Ace beat him up again.
Part 6Teddy was forgiven by the police and his friends, except for Patch. They played together happily even without Patch, but then one day she became an evil overlord who threw lightning bolts at Teddy and his poor friends. They all joined the dark side when they were hit, and soon only Starlight and Sweetheart remained.
Part 7Teddy, angry and sad, sent Starlight to the dark side to spy, but she was captured. Teddy and Sweetheart, instead of crying about Teddy's awful life, got mad. So VERY mad.
They ran to the dark side, united by a need to destroy the evil Patch and, even more importantly, by an undying love for each other. Together, they killed everyone on the dark side until only Bright Eyes, Melody and Patch were the only ones remaining.
Soon, Bright Eyes and Patch were left in a pool of blood, and Melody murdered Sweetheart. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Teddy screamed as he killed Melody, running only on the strength of his love for Sweetheart.
Best Pony, being as great as he was, felt awful about it afterwards. After crying for a long time, he resurrected everyone.
Part 8Teddy and his friends all forgave each other and threw all kinds of fun parties. There was no conflict ever again.
END!