Hello again! Im back with a short oneshot (hopefully) of Elena's thoughts when she wakes up in 4x01! I hope you enjoy this! Thank you. Let me know if I should continue this with another chapter. I wont write more than 5 chapters though! :)
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This can't be happening to me right now. No, this was the one thing I did not want. What about my life? What about my future? I think of future and I think of Stefan…I look around the room and I see Stefan sitting on the foot of my bed holding my hand for reassurance. After everything that we've been through he's still by my side, never letting go. I remember saying the words to Damon. "I love him Damon." And it's true; no matter what we go through I'm always going to come back to the one person who gave me everything when I had nothing. I love Stefan; it's always going to be Stefan. Maybe I can do eternity after all…with Stefan by my side. But I don't want to lose Damon, I care about him, he's been there for me too. When Stefan wasn't here, he was there to pick up the pieces of my scattered heart. In return all I ever gave him was pain, how can I forgive myself for what I've done to their brotherhood and to Damon?
But I look at Stefan and I can see the guilt and agony in his eyes. He doesn't deserve to feel like this, it was my choice. He respected that and saved Matt, I love him for that. I don't blame him at all for anything that's happened in my life since he came into it. He brought comfort and security into my life when I needed it, and I fell for him. When he left with Klaus he took everything with him; my smile, my happiness, my heart, my soul, and my security. It was painful facing a new day without him by my side; it wasn't worth it to get out of bed. But I did it, I did it for him. I never gave up on him, and I never gave up on us. I know who he really is and I know the guilt he feels. But he has no idea how proud I am of him. He made it back to us, he fought every dark thought, and every lingering blood thirst along the way. He pulled through. And I know I hurt him too, kissing Damon, and telling him I don't know what I feel when I very well knew he was the one. But he still hasn't left my side, despite all that I have done to hurt him, and Damon. I don't deserve him.
Stefan's voice breaks me out of my thoughts "Elena…" I cut him off. – "Stefan don't, I don't blame you." I move towards him and bring my arms up around his shoulders. He relaxes under my touch a bit and buries his face in the crook of my neck. "I'm so sorry" he chokes out. I run my hand through his hair and I whisper in his ear. "Stefan, shh. It's not your fault, it's okay. I'll be fine as long as I have you, and you're here with me to guide me. I love you Stefan, and I'm so sorry for hurting you and Damon both. But I love you, and I wouldn't rather be anywhere else right now." Stefan lets out a breath and hugs me closer while placing a small kiss on my neck. "I love you." He breathes against my neck. "Always."